Two months in.
When Andrew first told me about this job, before I knew what Shawn was really like, I thought it would be awesome fake dating Shawn Mendes. Boy was I wrong. He's a good actor, though, I'll give him that.
After his anxiety attack last week, he's been avoiding me. I keep trying to bring it up and talk to him about it, but he always brushes me off with a rude comment or insult. Maybe I should just let him deal with it on his own and stay out of it.
That's going to be a little hard starting today though. It's the day that I have been dreading: move in day. And I'm contractually obligated to go through with it.
Andrew told me that it would be good for us to live together. If paparazzi could get photos of us, then the fans would see that he is calming down and not being his annoying player self.
But he's annoying either way. If only people knew the real Shawn Mendes.
"Alright Cassie! This is Shawn's place. Make yourself at home!" Andrew exclaimed as he opened the door to Shawn's beautiful Toronto apartment. Shawn followed behind us, sulking like a little kid who wasn't allowed to leave the dinner table unless he finished his vegetables.
I pulled Andrew aside. "Andrew do I have to live here? We hate each other!" I protested.
Andrew sighed. "Cassie, please help me with this. You don't even have to talk to him, it's just for the look of it." He assured.
"But-"
"Alright Shawn!" Andrew began, turning away from me before I could protest further. "I'm off to another meeting with one of my other clients. Give Cassie the tour and show her to her room. Please play nice." He said and gave Shawn a stern look. He then walked through the door, closing it on the way out.
I heard Shawn sigh angrily. "Follow me." He walked off down a hallway without waiting for my response.
I took this opportunity to confront him about his anxiety attack. "Shawn wait!" I yelled after him.
"I'm not talking about it with you!" He yelled back, still walking down the hallway.
"Shawn! Please!" I ran after him. "You really should go see-"
He quickly turned around and cut me off. "Cassie, will you just fucking let it go?!" He yelled louder than I've ever heard him yell. I took a step back, surprised. "It's none of your damn business so stay out of it!" He was fuming. The look in his eyes scared me a bit.
"I'm just trying to help." I timidly whispered, looking down.
"Well don't! Just let me give you the damn tour and then we can pretend each other doesn't exist."
I'm just concerned for him. I know how bad anxiety is, especially when you're dealing with it by yourself. I was determined to get to the bottom of the mystery that is Shawn. I'll let it go for now, but this is definitely not over.
"Alright. Fine." I gave in and gestured him to continue the tour.
We walked through the apartment, him giving me a half-assed tour and then showing me to my new room.
"Here's your room. I have a lot of work to do so don't bother me." Was all he said and then left to do god only knows what. I couldn't help but notice that my room was on the complete other side of the apartment from his. Of course.
I looked around my new room, which was huge. The decor was sleek, with a pink, white, and gold aesthetic. Andrew must have done this for me, because I know Shawn wouldn't.
I began to unpack my stuff, thinking about Shawn. You never realize what's really going on with people. On the outside, Shawn looks like the nicest guy; cool, calm, and collected. But when you see him behind closed doors, there's so much more to the story.
A couple of hours later I was starting to get hungry so I left my room to find the kitchen. Once there, I realized that he's probably never used it. It's too clean and looks as though nothing has ever been touched. He didn't strike me as the cooking type of guy anyway.
I opened the fridge to be met with nothing besides a couple bottles of water. Okay, so I guess cooking is out. I'll have to go grocery shopping tomorrow or something. Chinese it is!
Should I get something for Shawn too? He's an ass to me, but I wasn't raised that way. I can't just eat without asking him if he wants anything.
Deciding that I may as well ask, I paced down the hallway towards his door and knocked lightly on the wood.
"What?" He rudely called through the door.
"You have no food in your kitchen so I was going to order Chinese. Do you want anything?"
"I don't care what you do." His voice rang out. And this is what I have to deal with.
"Are you sure you don't want anything?" No response.
I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed the phone. Should I just get something for him anyway? There's no food in the house and I know he has too much pride to take anything from me.
I guess I will. I ordered two combo meals, one for each of us.
Once they arrived, I payed the delivery guy and excitedly walked back into the apartment. Chinese is my favorite type of food. My mouth watered at the smell.
I ate my food alone in his kitchen. I wonder if he ever gets lonely. This place is way too huge for just one person. I've been here for less than 7 hours and I already feel lonelier than I ever have. Maybe that has something to do with his asshole-like behavior.
When I was done, I wrote a note on his carton that read "I got you a some anyway. I didn't know what to get you so I guessed. -Cassie."
With nothing else to do and no one to talk to, I sighed and decided to turn in for the night. I took a shower in my en-suite bathroom and got ready for bed. Thank the lord I don't have to share a bathroom with him.
I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water before bed. I checked to see if Shawn ate the Chinese I ordered for him. It was no where to be seen. Satisfied, I turned around to throw out a wrapper I found in my pocket earlier and noticed what looked like the Chinese carton in the trash. Upon further inspection, it didn't look like he ate any. He just threw it out. Right in top was the post it note I wrote, crumpled up. Welp. I guess he doesn't like Chinese food.
I just sighed before walking back to my room, water bottle in hand.
•
I woke up to the sound of someone screaming. I jolted up, momentarily forgetting that I was living in Shawn's apartment now and looked at the clock. It was 2:32 am. What in the world? Was there a burglar in the apartment?
My heart rate picked up at the prospect of someone else being in here. I thought his house had amazing security?!
I looked around the room, trying to find some sort of weapon that I could use. I grabbed the nearest weapon that I could find, which happened to be a pillow, and tip-toed out of the room.
I blindly followed the sound, trying to remember the layout of the huge apartment in the dark. Once I got into the main room, I realized that the sound was coming from down the opposite hallway from mine. I made my way in that direction and stopped to listen. It sounded like it was coming from Shawn's room.
My heart was racing as I approached Shawn's door. The loud scream definitely came from here.
"STOP!" He screamed again, sounding like someone was attacking him. It made me jump. I immediately yanked open the door and ran in.
I was expecting to see someone trying to hurt him, but instead I saw the opposite. Shawn was tossing and turning in his bed and screaming the word "NO" over and over again. I quickly dropped the pillow I was holding and ran to his side.
"Shawn?!" I tried to grab his arms and shake him awake, but he continued to thrash.
"NO!" He screamed again, seemingly trying to fight me off. He must be dreaming.
"SHAWN! Shawn it's me, Cassie! Wake up!" I struggled to keep him still, so I climbed on top of him to stop him from moving.
"SHAWN!" I screamed one more time before his eyes shot open and he sat up quickly with me still sitting on him. He ran his hands through his hair, breathing heavily.
We both sat there for a second, not saying a single word. When his breathing began to slow down, he realized that I was still sitting on him and quickly pushed me off.
"Shawn are you oka-?" I began to ask, ignoring how hard he just pushed me and sat back up.
"I'm fine." He cut me off, turning to the side and palming his eye sockets. Was he crying?
"Did you have a bad dream or something?" I pried.
"Just leave it alone." He responded. "It was nothing. Just pretend it never happened okay?"
"You seem to say that to me a lot. Are you sure you don't want to talk ab-"
"Absolutely not. Get out of my room." He spoke harshly.
I paused. "Shawn just please talk to me-"
"Why?!" he stood up from the bed looking furious. "Because we're fake dating? Do you think I owe you something? I didn't ask for you to be living in my house! I didn't ask to be dating the most annoying fucking person in the world! I didn't ask for any of this shit! Didn't you get the message when I tricked you into thinking I had feelings you? You're so fucking pathetic! I don't care about you and I never will, so stop trying! Just get out!" He was yelling now.
I flinched back, but kept my mouth shut. The room was silent aside from Shawn's heavy breathing.
"Fine." I said back in a voice just above a whisper and then got up to leave.
I stopped just before I reached the door, letting his words sink in. What right does he have to talk to me like that? He's treated me like scum this whole time. All I've tried to do since I got here is help him, and every time I'm met with hostility. For what reason? I suddenly became angry. Angry at him, angry at what my life has become because of him, angry at everything.
"Actually," I said turning around to face him, raising my voice at him this time, "Not fine. None of this is fine! What the fuck is your problem? The whole reason I'm in this mess is for you! To help your career! I am so sick of you treating me like garbage! Did you ever stop to think about why you're in this situation?! Huh? Maybe if you weren't such an asshole to everyone, Andrew wouldn't have to take these drastic measures to save his company every time you fuck up. After all that he's done for you, I can't believe how you treat him! You don't fucking deserve him! You don't deserve anything that's been given to you!" My chest was heaving up and down, all the pent up rage finally coming out.
Shawn looked taken back at my outburst. After a while his mouth opened to say something, but I didn't wait to see what it was.
"Whatever. I'm done with this." I mumbled and then stormed out of his room and slammed the door shut.