Hazel
I threw the covers off and sat up as sweat beads formed on my forehead. I don't know if it's just me but it's hot, I tapped Rashawn hoping to wake him up but he didn't budge.
"Rashawn.."
"What?"
"Are you hot?"
"No its cool in here, too cool actually"
He sat up and placed his hand on my forehead, this has been happening the past few nights. Either I'm hot, in pain or sick to my stomach and I don't know why.
"You're body is kind of hot, do you feel okay?"
"I feel dizzy, I don't know why"
"You think being out in the rain is the reason?"
I shrugged and took off my shirt, the air conditioner was on but it wasn't helping me at all. It feels like I'm going through early menopause, while dealing with a very upset stomach.
"Do you want some hot tea? Or maybe some soup?"
"It's like I'm hungry but at the same time I have no appetite. No I don't want any tea"
"You have to drink something, you're gonna get dehydrated. Maybe it's the food we had, food poisoning?"
"I don't know, I'm gonna go take a bath to cool down"
"I think a shower would be better, incase you fall.. I'll be able to hear it"
"Can you help me?"
"You're okay with me seeing you naked?"
"I don't have a choice right now, I kind of need your help. But if you want me to hit the ground as soon as I get up fine"
"Okay.. but I'm not responsible if a certain part of my body gets hard as a result of seeing you naked"
"I felt it all last night.."
"Yeah sorry about that"
"Eh, no need to be sorry"
He cleared his throat and played with the rim of his shirt. We haven't had sex but we were laying pretty close last to one another yesterday. He was there comforting me throughout the night. The stuff King said really upset me and made me feel really dirty and insecure. Its been on my mind heavy, what am I gonna do if he really lets that tape get back to my dad?
"Do you think I'm a slut?"
"What? No, why would you ask that"
"I feel like I am sometimes.."
"But why?"
"When it's said so many times you just start to believe it"
"You can't believe everything that's said about you. People will say anything to tear you apart"
:
The Next Day
Thankfully after taking a cool shower and taking some Tylenol I was able to rest. However what I realized this morning didn't help much after a terribly long night.
I paced my room occasionally looking over the calendar that sat on my bed. Unsure of how this could have happened to me I sat on my bed and rubbed my temples. Its not like Its a week late, okay maybe it's been six days but that doesn't mean anything, right?
I kept staring at the date it was supposed to be here by now. How did I not realize this earlier.. so much has been going on I didn't even notice it. I picked my phone up and immediately found Taylor's name. My finger hovered over call for at least three minutes before I mustered up the courage to press it. My stomach turned and twisted into knots as the phone rung. I could feel my heart beat throughout my body as my hands shook.
Her phone went straight to voicemail, I sighed and locked my phone. I don't even know why I called her anyway. I got up and went into the bathroom where Rashawn was showering. Once I went in I sat on the counter and cleared my throat. Rashawn stuck his head out of the shower and just looked at me.
"What's wrong? You've been moping around all morning. Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?"
"My period is late.."
"Oh, um" He scratched his head and looked around. "How late?"
"Six days late"
"Maybe it's stress, you've been really down since the day your parents came. I'm sure that's the reason, did you test?"
"No and I'm not going to. I'm going to wait and see"
"Wait and see what? If your belly starts to pop, if your water breaks in nine months? Until you feel a kick, stop being scared of what he'd say and beef up"
"You don't understand!"
"I don't, I don't understand how you feel you can't do what most women have successfully"
"I'm honestly not as strong as you think I am. I can't raise a baby, I just don't think I can do it. Forget I even confided it you"
"No, I'm not going to forget it. Most likely your stressed but if you're pregnant you're going to deal with it like an adult. He's either going to accept his responsibility or be a coward like before. Its not about what your dad says or anyone else. Its your body and your life, live your life and do as you please. But who am I to give advice? Oh I forgot your fucking best friend that's who I am! I already told you I had your back, I got your kit didn't I? Have I asked for anything in return other than a smile here or there? No!"
"Maybe I'm tired of asking for help.."
"Maybe you've been asking all the wrong people"
I hopped down off the sink and left the bathroom, once I got into my room I dropped my robe and stepped into the mirror.
You have done nothing but disappoint the family..
First your mediocre career to cut hair and then you go and get pregnant with a little bastard..
Was the baby even mine?
You will never amount to anything..
I looked down at the ground as the hateful things replayed in my head. I don't wanna go through that again, would it be fair if I didn't even tell him?
:
I greeted everyone in the shop before handing a few of the guys a coffee. I decided to be nice after all the crap this morning. I needed to keep a clear mind on and focus on work. I decided to take a test before leaving the house. Although I didn't wanna know I need to know, however I haven't looked at it yet..
I pulled Stacy to the back and shut the door, she works here but over on the other side doing hair. She welcomed me with open arms my first day. We clicked and she's very real and up front.
"Can you do me a favor and read this pregnancy test?"
"Yeah, let me see"
I wrapped the end of it in tissue and handed it to her, my heart was beating really fast.
"Umm.."
"Tell me, I think I can handle the news"
"It says-"
There was a knock at the door before she could tell me, she put one finger up, telling me to wait..
"Who is it?"
"King, in there?"
My eyes widened and I shook my head no, hoping she'd cover for me.
"No she's not, what are you hear for?"
"I need to talk to her, it's important"
"Bullshit, bye King"
"I know she's in there, can I please talk to her?"
"Even If she was in here I wouldn't let you talk to her"
"Hazel.. I'm sorry, can you please talk to me? I know you seen me calling"
With my back against the door I covered my face.
"I can't King, not this time.."
My voice cracked, right now isn't the time for him to pop up with apologies that aren't genuine. Just think if I'm pregnant.. these apologies will go out of the window.
"Please talk to me. I'm not leaving until you come out"
"I might be pregnant.."
I didn't plan on telling him but I know this is the only way he'd leave. Deep down I prayed he wouldn't after hearing those words. But he did..