One Month Later
"Seokjin you better be gentle with me. This is my first time leaving the house since I got out of the hospital," I warned.
He pouted, "I'm hurt that you think I won't be gentle with you."
The two of us slowly shuffled to the car.
It had been a month since I woke up, but my struggles didn't exactly end once I woke up. Miss Coma made me forget how to walk so I had to relearn that and go through a lot of physical therapy. Even when I was cleared to leave the hospital a lot of physical therapy was and is still needed.
Today, however, was the first day since it happened that I was going out in public to do something.
What that something was, I had no clue. Seokjin had planned something that I was apparently going to 'love' but he wouldn't tell me what it was.
Seokjin helped me into the car before getting in himself and driving off.
"So you wanna tell me where we're going now?" I asked.
He smiled softly, "Flower shop."
I cocked an eyebrow.
Today was surely going to be an interesting one.
When we got to the flower shop Seokjin left me in the car and said he needed to get a few flowers. So I sat in anticipation in the car of what flowers he would bring. Would he bring flowers for me? Or perhaps I was meeting his parents? It made me curious.
However, what Seokjin came back with was way more obvious.
In a little bag were six white carnations.
Funeral flowers.
I decided not to say anything but I was a little worried that he was going to bring me to a funeral while I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.
But thankfully, it was not a funeral though it wasn't any less morbid than one.
He had pulled up in front of a cemetery.
The atmosphere had completely changed once we got out. The air was thick with sadness, grief, and mourning. But it also felt peaceful and almost serene. It was hard to describe but you could definitely feel the atmosphere of a cemetery.
"Seokjin?"
He handed me three of the carnations.
"I feel like slowly, everyone is moving on. They're healing and figuring out how to cope. I thought it'd be good if I gave the both of us that closure."
He took my hand and led me into the cemetery. I stayed close to him, trying to avoid looking at the immense amount of gravestones planted into the ground.
"Here. You can spend some time here and then when you're done you and I can switch. I'll be just over there."
He walked away without another word.
I was confused but as I read the name of the gravestones it all made sense.
Hwang Jisol
1996-2014
"I don't need to be known by name to change the world. I'll change it my way with my work. An artist will always have an impact on the world."
And right beside it was the other gravestone.
Hwang Seulbi
1966-2017
"I'll always put my family first. My kids mean the world to me and nothing would ever change that. My Jibeom and Jisol are my life."
Seokjin wanted me to get closure with my...with Jisol's mother and her.
My grip on the carnation tightened.
I took a deep breath. I had a lot to say to both of them but now that I had the chance, I had no idea what to say.
I inhaled sharply, "Okay, here I go I guess. I'll start with Jisol since we had a closer relationship. Where do I even start? Okay well, in the beginning, I hated you more than anything. I didn't know who you were but you were this little voice that would just ramble nonstop in my head and give me a headache. I was already stressed out enough but you just made my life worse. Ha, but now that you're not here, I'm kind of lost. It's a little too quiet up in the head. You were guidance for me, and you helped me understand who I really was. And you helped me understand what you had really been through and how much more important it was that I caught Minchul and Misun. You were this presence in my life that I now realize was an important part of me. Without you, I feel kind of like a nobody. But you told me that I would now be able to discover myself and establish my own identity. I want to do that. And I want to make you proud. Now...onto Missus Hwang. I don't really know you that well. We met once and it was a pretty brief meeting. I know it wasn't my fault, but I guess Jisol's guilt stuck with me even now. You shouldn't have died like that. But while part of me feels guilty, the other part of me is angry at you. How could you abandon Jibeom like that? Don't you think he deserves some part of his immediate family? He had to go through all his firsts on his own. He has a beautiful son that would've loved his grandmother but you had to chase after me...I mean Jisol like that. I'm not sure what else to say but I hope you're at peace now."
I took two of the carnations and placed them on each of their graves.
I felt lighter, I guess. I felt truly free now. If I felt free before, I felt extremely free now. All my animosity, confusion, and longing had flown away in the forlorn atmosphere of the cemetery.
I looked at Seokjin and noticed that he was hunched over the grave.
I decided to give him some time. Because I knew exactly who's grave that belonged to.
Seokjin POV
Park Sunee
1992-2013
"Don't you love how beautiful and complex the world can be? Isn't it insane that we are such an insignificant population, yet we can be some of the most impactful species?"
I was having a hard time. I loved Cheonsa, I really did. But I also loved Sunee in a different world. Both of them meant the world to me. And I knew that I had to let her go but something held me back every time.
I glanced over at Cheonsa who was deep in conversation with Jisol and her mother.
I took a deep breath. I had to do it for my own sanity and for Cheonsa.
"Sunee, my love, my world, it's your Jinnie again. Aish, you must be looking at me and calling me a liar. You share those titles with someone else now. I hope you know how much I loved and how much I still love you. Before I met Cheonsa, it hurt so bad to go home because I'd be there and you wouldn't be. So I threw myself into work to distract myself. I gained a pretty bad reputation. But Cheonsa came and she saw through all of that. She really is an angel. But anyway, I'm here because you'll be happy to know that I'm finally opening up my doors and trying to let others in. And I'm trying to look at the world the way I did when I was with you. I hope you'll forgive me for moving on and I hope that wherever you are, that you find happiness and love. And if you remember me, I'd love to meet you up in the sky someday. But for now, I think I've gotta throw myself at my guardian angel for a bit. I-I h-hope t-that y-you'll b-be w-well. I'll n-never for-forget us and I hope you k-know that I w-will al-always hold a p-place for you in m-my h-heart."
I hunched over the grave and cried silently, my tears falling into the dirt and getting absorbed.
She was taken from me. I'm grateful for Cheonsa and always will be, but Sunee was my first. And I'll never forget her.
I looked back at Cheonsa who was watching me with a worried expression on her face.
That being said, I did think that I would be able to love someone again. Equally as much. Just in a different way. And that someone was Cheonsa.
I placed the carnation on the grave and bid farewell to Sunee before switching off with Cheonsa.
Time Skip
Cheonsa POV
After we switched and placed our last carnations the two of us headed home.
The drive was silent but I think we both just needed a bit of silence.
I looked out the window at the passing world, admiring at how each person lived their lives without a care for the next person's actions and lifestyle.
I felt Seokjin's hand slip into mine.
A smile spread across my face.
It was happy things like that led me to believe that I was existing on Earth for one reason and one reason only.
Sometimes...
You can find heaven on Earth.
Wow we're at the end. Idek what to say except for thank you for reading this. I'll talk more in the end notes but oof