NEVEAH'S POV
Everything consumes me. A flood of emotions erupt my soul and suddenly I don't know how to think - I can't think clearly.
What am I feeling? Because right now I'm not sure, I'm confused. Pain, regret, rejection is all that takes over me but also the slightest bit of love is still present.
But right now all I see is red. The hell like fire flashing through my eyes, and all I want to do is scream.
"I'm falling apart." I admit to him with a barely recognisable voice, as all that came out were broken words from a broken soul.
He didn't say anything; he just stood there watching me with fear in his eyes - I just want him to say something anything.
"I thought I could handle this," I scowl at myself for being weak, I'm always so weak. "But I can't! I'm sorry I just can't!" I yelled this time struggling to control my rapid breathing. Slowly, despair was replaced with anger.
I need air.
Reece opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything, I made my way towards the door slamming it shut. Even though I desperately wanted to hear he sweet words attempting to fix this, I couldn't bring myself to face him without resisting the urge to either ball my eyes out or punch him till his last breath.
Then finally the cool breeze gracefully brushes my face, removing my reality for a few seconds. I could hear faint a voice calling my name in the distance, I couldn't detect it at first but as the voice was becoming clearer and more recognisable I quickened my pace.
I knew it was Reece and I didn't want to see him right now, his face is aggravating me.
"Neva wait!" Reece called out. Since my athletic department lacks anything to do with athletics, I slowed my pace (I felt myself wanting to pass out from all this running, which is worries me because I've only been running for like...2 minutes) he manages to catch up with me, and I result to giving up so I stop running.
He places his hands on the top of my shoulders and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry to have to put through all this, it's not fair you." His beautiful eyes never met mine, and I could sense the nerves bursting through him which he tried to contain. "You deserve better. I'm sorry." Reece continued to look down to the ground feeling guilty.
He looked so delicate and precious like that. How does he do this? He makes my world feel like it's falling apart and it takes is one look at him, and suddenly all is well. Reece's beautiful green eyes looked into me, and all I could see was pain.
Once again opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything I wrapped my arms around his tall figure giving him a warm hug. At first he was stiff and seemed uncomfortable, but then he hugged me back, making me feel at home.
I'm still mad at him though.
We stayed like that for a while- it felt like forever- but I didn't mind. His blonde hair tickled my neck as I hugged him tighter, bringing his body closer to mine. My eyes flickered over to his, "I don't know anymore..."
Hurt flashed through his eyes but he quickly masked it.
He caressed my cheek with the palm of his hand and held it there, "Don't say that." His said with a stern voice, "Let's just go back and talk it out okay?"
No words left my lips so I just nodded as we headed back in silence.
When we entered his house I suddenly felt ashamed and embarrassed at myself, I can't believe the mess I'd caused.
Papers were all over the place, along with some shattered glass (I might have went crazy and chucked everything my eyes set on)
"I'm so sorry," I began to cry and caved in, but I don't care because I always cave to him. Reece just chuckled lightly, "It's okay babe, I deserve it". Hatred fills me once more, but this time not for him but for myself. I hated that I make him feel this way, I hated that he thinks this is all his fault, but I didn't say anything back, I don't want another argument.
Reece plopped down on the black leather sofa. "C'mere", he grabbed my waist making me sit next to him. I can slowly feel exhaustion take over me.
"We need to talk about what happened," I shyly reminded him, I pray we don't end up fighting again. I just can't stand leaving an argument with words left unsaid.
He sighed and rubbed my exposed thigh. "It's just the stupid press okay? They will do anything and everything to make some crazy story that will sell." He stated. "You know me being in this new 'lifestyle' will mean changes, and I know that you don't like them but you have to trust me."
Do I trust Reece?
Yes.
Do I trust the press?
No. A million times no.
I rolled my eyes and snapped, "Of course I fucking trust you!" I got off his lap and rushed upstairs. How dare he think I don't trust him? Haven't I shown enough these past 2 years? Everything I put up with?
As predicted he followed, "Stop always hiding from your problems! Is it my fault that I'm not allowed to come out? I'm sorry we can't do normal couple things but it's hard for me too," he raged, with a loud voice not caring that the neighbours could probably hear. "It's hard for me too!" Reece repeated in a low whisper as if he didn't want me to hear the vulnerability in his voice.
I started to cry even harder and felt like pulling my hair out, "Im so sorry" I apologised for like the 3rd time again.
"It's just...I feel like-" I stopped saying what I was about to say. I just want this to end. I just want to snuggle up in bed with him and pretend this never happened.
"Say it Neva. We tell each other everything remember?" I smile sadly remembering the promise we made to together. Whilst nodding my head at him I sit down on his bed.
"I feel like you'll get bored of me," I began, "Like if we have to keep us a secret, that means no one will know about us - about me." Pausing for a few moments, I try to swallow the thick lump in my throat that threatens to escape. "So you'll probably be exposed to all the gorgeous models and singers out there, and forget about me because in your world of 'fame' I practically don't exist."
I always felt that way, but it only heightened when he band began to really become more famous this year.
I squeezed my eyes tight as more tears emerged. Reece sat down next to me and put an arm around me tightly. "I love you okay? Its temporary- me hiding relationship with you. I also think it's a good idea though, I've seen the press and media and I don't want you to get dragged into their world of ludicrousy," he assured me then gently kissed my forehead.
How could he be so sure?
"But you're in their world of ludicrousy."
He laughed, which was like a choir of angles singing to my ears, "I'm okay with that because I have 7 other boys to share the experience with, so I don't end up crazy and messed up." I smiled at him realising how amazing he is.
He's so beautiful.
"And as for the 'leaving you for other girls' part," he continued. "Why would I leave the love of my life for a one stand, with a girl who's name I won't even remember?"
This time I laughed and felt happy again.
I pulled him close to me and passionately kissed him. Our lips moved in sync together like they were meant to be, I opened my mouth inviting him in, to explore my mouth with his glorious tongue. He used his hands to grab my hips and roughly sat me on top of him, so that my legs were wrapped around his waist. I forcefully grabbed a fistful of his hair, which resulted him in releasing a silent moan.
Just as the kiss was about it be deepened, I pulled away and waited for our breathing to calm down.
"I'm tired can we go to sleep?" I asked while I opened my mouth wide open forming an 'o' shape , as I stretched my arms all over the place and I let out a loud yawn. Reece leaned in and kissed my neck, "Okay princess." He laid me down on the bed, and I snuggled myself in.
My eyes started to close;in the background I could Reece taking off his jeans, then after climbing into the bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, so I snuggled into him feeling his hard chest. Reece planted a soft kiss on my head before whispering, " Goodnight princess". With that the need for sleep over took me as I drifted off to dreamland.
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So this is the re written version of chapter one, I'll be rewriting the other chapters aswell. (Don't worry the story will still be the same - minor changes only)
~Girlalmighty123