KABANATA 18.
Banaag.
MAYBE I really appreciated Luthor’s presence. Kahit pa sabihing sanay na ako sa ganito, maganda parin pala sa pakiramdam na may kasama kang mag-celebrate ng Pasko. Mas maganda parin palang mag-simba ng may kasama.
Noong bata pa ako, noong mga panahong hindi pa naghihiwalay sina mama at papa, palagi kaming magkakasamang nagsi-simbang gabi. Sama-sama rin naming sinasalubong ang pasko at bangong taon. Sabay-sabay kaming kumakain ng Noche Buena.
We might not be as rich as Fita’s family, but we were happy. My parents are both chefs kaya palaging masarap ang mga handa namin noon. Masaya naman kami noon kaya hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari at… bigla nalang silang naghiwalay.
Hindi ako nakinig sa mga paliwanag saakin ni mama noon. As if I was interested then. I was just a child, all I want is a complete and happy family. Sarado ang isip ko non na making sakanila. I even stopped talking to them and just lived with my lola. My young heart can’t accept the fact that my parents lost their love even before I experienced it.
“What’s with the long face?” I turned to Luthor. Umiinom kami ngayon ng taho na binibenta sa labas ng simbahan. Kakatapos lang ng misa. Today is Christmas Eve and Luthor and I went to the church together.
Luthor being here with me is a big plot twist of this year. Or maybe, he’s the biggest plot twist of my college life. I never met anyone that affects my life as how Luthor does. I met different people before I met him. But all of them comes and go. But Luthor, he just came to… stay.
“Wala, may naisip lang.”
“Sus, gusto mo lang humingi ng isa pang taho eh.” Pagbibiro niya pa. I just laughed at him. Bibili ulit sana siya ng isa pang taho pero pinigilan ko siya.
“’Di ba sabi mo may pupuntahan pa tayo? Tara na.”
“Ay, oo nga pala. Tara!” Hinila niya na ako papalapit sa kotse niya. As usual, he let me play the songs. Kanina bago kami pumunta ng simbahan ay sinabihan niya ako na may pupuntahan daw kami pagkatapos ng misa.
Masyado ngang tinotoo ni Luthor ang pagsama saakin ngayong Christmas break. Doon rin siya natulog sa condo nitong mga nakaraang araw. Doon ko nga sana siya pinapatulog sa kuwarto ko at ako naman ang matutulog sa kuwarto ni Rafa but he insisted that he’ll just sleep on the sofa.
Pati ang pagtulog niya ay pinag-awayan pa namin. But eventually, he won. Alam ko namang wala akong panama sakaniya at desisyon niya ang masusunod but atleast I tried.
“Saan ba kasi tayo pupunta?” tanong ko nang napansin kong parang palabas na kami ng QC. He just smiled.
“Basta. You’ll like it there,” He looked at me. “Ilang oras pa ba bago mag-alas dose?” I looked at my wrist watch.
“Two hours pa.” Tumango-tango siya at hindi na nag-komento pa. Hindi na rin ako nag-tanong pa dahil alam kong hindi niya talaga sasabihin. At saka may tiwala naman ako sakaniya. It’s not like he’s going to take advantage of me. Hindi naman gano’n si Luthor.
He’s actually the most gentlemen among the boys that I met here in Manila. Mapang-asar nga lang. But so far, he’s been so good to me. Habang nasa biyahe ay nakinig nalang ako ng music habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana.
Nanatiling nakabukas ang bintana ng kotse ni Luthor habang nasa biyahe kami. Masarap kasi ang simoy ng hangin dahil December kaya sinabi ko sakaniya na buksan nalang ang bintana. Hindi naman siya umangal at siya na mismo ang nagbukas ng bintana ng driver’s seat at passenger seat.
Ang sarap sa feeling. Parang nag-road trip lang kami ni Luthor. Banaag by Munimuni is playing on the stereo. Nakikisabay kami ni Luthor sa pagkanta. This is one of my favorite moments with him. ‘Yong nasa kotse niya kami, just driving while listening to the songs on his phone. Little moments but it has a big effect on me.
“We’re here.” Napatingin ako sa paligid. Mukhang nasa labas na kami ng Metro. I’m not really familiar on the cities or provinces around Metro. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan kami.
Luthor turns off the engine at lumabas na siya ng kotse niya at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. Pagkalabas ko ay mas nakita ko ang paligid. Namangha ako sa ganda nito. The place is breathtaking! Para itong park na punong-puno ng Christmas lights. Or more like a street full of Christmas lights! It was beautiful. Napaka-comfy ng atmosphere rito at maganda rin sa mata. May mga tao rin doon pero hindi naman ganoon karami. Tama lang para ma-admire namin ang view.
May mga kainan rin dito at mga batang naglalaro. Families are gathered here but I didn’t feel any envy at all.
Parang gusto kong maiyak sa saya. Sa tanang buhay ko, wala pang nag-abala para dalhin ako sa ganitong lugar. Lalo na kung Christmas eve! Nakangiti akong bumaling kay Luthor nang tumabi siya saakin. He looked at me too.
“Bakit mo ako dinala rito? I mean, this is beautiful. B-but why would you bother?” He smiled before messing my hair.
“I just feel like bringing you here. I don’t want you to spend your Christmas Eve alone. I want to tell you that every Christmas is different. Hindi pare-pareho ang pasko. Last year’s Christmas is different from this year’s Christmas. So you have to celebrate it differently too.” I was dumbfounded.
Akala ko wala nang mas itataas pa ang pagtingin ko kay Luthor but he just proved me wrong. I always see him as a gentleman, a good brother and cousin, a good student, a man who has plans for his future, a very good friend. But I never thought that he’ll do things like this for me. I want to jump from too much happiness but I did the opposite.
In front of the amazing Christmas lights and the comfortable breeze of the December wind, my tears started to fall. No one has ever gone this far for me. I appreciated Luthor’s effort. I really do. I covered my face with my palm to cover my crying face. I probably look so ugly right now.
“Hey,” Luthor held my arm. Iniharap niya ako sakaniya. “Hindi mo ba nagustuhan? Sorry, I researched many places that has a beautiful Christmas lights decoration because I know that you like lights pero ito lang ang nahanap kong malapit sa Metro. Sorry kung hindi mo nagustuhan. I promise, babawi ako.” Lalo akong naiyak dahil sa sinabi niya.
Sa isipin pa lang na naghanap pa siya ng lugar kung saan ako dadalhin ay nakakataba na ng puso. His efforts make my heart warm. I felt him pulling me towards him. Ikinulong niya ako sa mga bisig niya. I cried on his arms like a baby. My tears ran down like there’s no tomorrow. It’s been a while since I cried because of so much happiness. And it’s because of the man who’s hugging me right now.
Nang kumalma ako ay kumalas ako sa yakap. Dumuko siya mag-pantay ang mga mata namin. Our faces were a few inches away. Napakurap-kurap ako. His eyes. I felt this feeling again. The same feeling every time he’s this near. The same feeling every time our eyes met. I felt it again.
“I’m sorry,” kumunot ang noo ko. He was still looking at me. “We’ll go wherever you want to go tomorrow, alright? Sorry kung hindi mo nagustuhan.” He said softly. Agad akong umiling. Na misinterpret niya ata ang pag-iyak ko.
“Hindi. Nagustuhan ko, Luthor.”
“But you cried…”
“But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t like it,” I smiled when I saw his brows furrowed . “Nagustuhan ko. It’s just that, no one has done this to me before. I’m just… happy.” Nagbaba ako ng tingin. Hindi ko kayang pantayan ang intesidad na ibinibigay ng mga titig niya. His stare was too deep and I can’t keep up.
Naghari ang katahimikan. No one was talking and I can hear his heavy breathing. I don’t know if it’s because of the December breeze or I’m just nervous. I breathing hitched when he held my chin and pull it up. My gaze landed on his brown eyes. Napalunok ako. His stare is just too much.
“You liked it?” He asked. His voice was deeper because of the cold weather. It sent a different feeling to me. I thought I already like his soft voice but I guess when it comes to Luthor, he can always pass your expectations. His deep voice sounds good on my ears.
Tumango ako. The corner of his lips slowly rose. Ginulo niya ang buhok ko saka ako inakbayan. Kusang kumapit ang kamay ko sa braso niyang nakadantay sa balikat ko. It was comfortable.
“Let’s eat. Anong gusto mo?” He asked.
“Kahit ano.”
“Okay, ako nalang ang pipili.” Sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa isang kainan. His arm is still around my shoulder as we walk. Hindi na ako nag-abalang tanggalin iyon dahil komportable naman ako. Nang makapasok kami sa kainan ay nalanghap ko agad ang mabangong amoy nag a,ing sa nilulutong mga pagkain. Agad na naglaway ang bagang ko.
“Hmm, anong mas gusto mo? Spaghetti or carbonara? O ‘yong ibang pasta nalang kaya?” Luthor was looking at the menu. Pinili naming ang mesa na malapit sa bintana. It was a two-sitter wooden table. Maganda ang loob ng kainan na napili ni Luthor. May mangilan-ngilan na kumakain din dito pero hindi naman punuan kaya nakakuha kami ng magandang puwesto.
“I like carbonara.”
“Carbonara then,” sinabi ni Luthor ang lahat ng order sa waiter. After ten or fifteen minutes, our food was served. Agad kaming kumain ni Luthor. Siguro pareho rin kaming gutom kaya’t walang nagsalita habang kumakain kami.
The food was good and I surely ate a lot. Ganoon din si Luthor na halatang busog na busog dahil hinihimas-himas niya pa ang tiyan niya pagkatapos uminom ng tubig. Mag o-order pa sana si Luthor ng dessert pero pinigilan ko siya. We were too full and I don’t think that our stomach can digest another food. We ordered two coffees instead.
“Thanks for today.” Nag-angat ng tingin saakin si Luthor. We are currently sipping our coffee. Magd-drive pa siya pabalik ng Metro. We need to stay awake.
“Thanks for spending the Christmas break with me.” I said, smiling.
“I want to spend Christmas with you, that’s why I stayed here instead of going overseas with my family. I hate the idea of you, spending Christmas alone.” Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. Luthor de Leon is the most thoughtful guy I have ever known.
“I really appreciated this, Luthor. Kung may magagawa lang ako para bumawi—,”
“A smile will do.”
“Huh?”
“Just don’t lose your smile, Spica. Just don’t lose that smile and we’re even.” Kahit naguguluhan ay napangiti nalang ako. It’s Luthor de Leon and expect the unexpected.
Ilang minuto pa ay inaya na niya akong umalis. We took a few pictures before leaving. He took a few pictures of me and I took a picture of him too. Of course we got a picture together courtesy of the taho vendor outside who really took nice photos!
I was scanning the pictures on his DLSR while he’s on the steering wheel, driving. The windows of his car are open while we’re on the road. His midnight playlist were playing on the stereo (which by the way, is my choice of songs because as usual, he let me play songs using his phone). Isa-isa kong tinignan ang mga pictures na nasa camera niya.
In fairness, he’s really good at taking pictures. Mostly, mga hayop at lugar (or events) ang nasa camera niya. Ang tanging taong nakita ko na may picture sa camera niya ay ako at siya. The photos from the UST Paskuhan are still here. I smiled while scanning the pictures.
“Saan ‘to?” I showed him a picture from his camera. It was a picture of a crowd. The shot was so good. It looks like it was taken from a gig. Tinignan niya ito bago bumalik ang tingin niya sa kalsada.
“It was from a midnight gig,” kumunot ang noo ko. “I was driving around the city when I saw a midnight gig at a bistro. It was good. Midnight gigs are the best.” Dagdag niya pa.
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa litrato. It was good indeed. I never attended any midnight gigs before. Ni-hindi ko nga alam na mayroon palang gano’n. Siguro ay maganda rin doon. I want to go to a midnight gig someday. With Luthor… or I can go alone if he’s not available.
“Inaantok ka na ba?” Luthor asked. Umiling lang ako dahil hindi pa naman talaga ako inaantok. Binuhay ata ng kapeng ininom namin kanina ang lahat ng senses ko. I put the camera on the bag and placed it on my lap. Hindi na rin sumagot si Luthor at nagpatuloy nalang sa pagd-drive.
I can see the familiar skyscrapers of the Metro as we continue the drive. Siguro pagdating sa condo ay manonood muna ako ng movie or series para antukin ako dahil hindi pa talaga ako inaantok.
“Spica,” I looked at Luthor when he stopped the car in front of a familiar bistro. “Do you want to attend a midnight gig?”
A smile slowly appeared on my lips when I realized why we’re in front of a bistro where bands usually perform. I excitedly nodded that made Luthor chuckle. Agad siyang bumaba sa kotse at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto.
“It’s your first midnight gig so let’s take a lot of pictures, yeah?” He said while getting the camera inside his car.
I jumped happily. I never thought that my wish will be granted this early!
---》
Banaag by Munimuni at the media section.
HAPPY 1k READS, LOVES!