Song title from:
The ultracheese
LOS ANGELES
September 18th, 2013
20.30 p.m.
Talaskas POV
"What a prick!" Matt yells through the phone, I draw the phone away from my ears and bring it back when he finished yelling other swear words.
"It's alright Matt, really. I mean, sure it sucks knowing his ass wasn't loyal, but his dick didn't belong to me I guess."
"Well after how you treated him when you guys were together, he should have your name tatted on his arse! You were a fuckin' angel, Tal! What the fuck?" He yells again.
"Ah, there's been problems for the last couple of weeks Matt. Everything just sort of, got to us, you know? It still doesn't feel real, it's so weird."
"What? Being cheated on?"
"No. Being the one that got dumped." I laugh loudly. It was true. Not to sound all arrogant and full of myself but my whole life I've always been the dumper in relationships, which probably says a lot about my commitment issues.
"I thought you were the one that dumped him? With your whole breakfast in bed act?"
"Yeah, but. He's the one that left me first, you know, by putting it somewhere else."
"Oh... Do you want me to kick his arse Tal? I'll do it, I promise."
"Shut up, you can't even take me."
"What're you talkin' bout? I take you out all the time!"
"Yeah, with your disgusting ass farts dumbass. I swear I've never known anyone that could cup their farts in their hands and bring it to someones face before you."
We share a laugh. I hung up a couple of minutes afterwards, not wanting to disturb him and Brianna's honeymoon to Bali. Besides Matt and Rhea, I haven't really told anyone else. I didn't even feel like telling my publicist, Harry probably already did his. Rhea bathed me with pity and food, and even offered to literally bathe me since I haven't had one since the day Harry left. Too much energy to do it. I'd rather wake up, brush my teeth, eat whatever Rhea had cooked or baked for the day, watch Netflix, then sleep for 10 hours.
This is a healthy way of mourning a breakup right?
If it isn't, fuck it. I deserve a good couple of days without everyone on my ass all the time. With that in mind I slump back in my bed, pulling the sheets over my head and turning the reality tv show back on play on my laptop.
Not long afterwards, there was a knock on the door. Thinking that it was probably the 10 pound of bacon I had ordered online last night, don't ask why, I leave the person be expecting he'll probably just leave it on the doorstep. But the knock came again, so I yelled Rhea's name signalling for her to get it. She yelled me to do it and I yelled back saying her door was closer by 5 inches. An exaggerated groan came from her room.
I resumed my duty of finishing a whole season of '90 day Fiance' in a day. Not even a minute after Rhea answered the door, she interrupted my binge again.
"It's for you, Fran!" She yells. For some reason she was the only close acquaintance of mine that liked to call me that.
"If it's the 10 pound bacon I ordered online, just leave it on the kitchen count-"
Miles appeared at the door of my room. Alex following behind him. They both stare at me in confusion.
"You ordered 10... 10 pounds of bacon, love?" Miles asks, his arms crossing against his chest.
"I'm, I'm hosting a party... a bacon party."
"Dear lord, he really screwed you up, huh!" Miles laughed loudly and jumped on my bed next to me. He was wearing his usual black jeans paired with his usual black leather jacket, a white tee underneath.
"Matt told you guys?" Al layed down on the edge of my bed, his head dangling down from the corner. It was odd seeing him back in my room, considering what happened the last time he was here. Everything in my room had remained the complete same, but Al and I were now completely different. Miles took his leather jacket off and threw it to the chair in the corner of my room.
"He called me an hour ago, told me everything. Damn Tal, d'you repel guys or something?" He said through a smirk. I reply with a small chuckle. Al pushes himself on his elbows and looks my way.
"The girl he was shagging wasn't even close to you, Tal. All stick-like. Ugh!" He groaned in disgust, plopping his head down on the bed again. It was now that I notice what he was wearing; a short-sleeved(rolled up a little to expose his biceps) pinkish red shirt with the top buttons unbuttoned as usual.
"Ironic since all your current and previous girlfriend are all models, Al!" I joke, throwing a pillow his way. He catches it just in time and hugs it to his chest.
"Yeah well, at least they aren't related to the Kardashians aight."
We share a laugh.
"You know, I thought things were finally getting better. Like, shit, I finally got you guys back. And on the same exact night, suddenly everything just took 15 steps back. WHAT A CRUEL WORLD!" I yell mellow dramatically, throwing my head onto Miles' shoulders. He leans his head on mine and pulls me into a side hug.
"Fuck him, Tal! Fuck it all! You're better off anyw-" He pulls away from the hug and pushes me away.
"You haven't showered in two days."
I puckered my lips together and directed my attention to my hands, slightly embarrassed. Laughter still escaped my lips though.
"You know me too well bitch." I laugh.
"Oh my god, I thought it was those scented candles that smelled weird!" Alex jolted up laughing hysterically. "Damn, Tal, you need a shower!"
"What?! Do I really smell that bad?!" I laugh loudly.
"No, I'm kind of used to weird smells. Waking up after 2 days of straight clubbing doesn't leave you with the best stench. But girlll, damn you gonna get to that level if you don't get your arse in the shower!" Miles teases.
"Yes! Please get her to shower!" Rhea yells from her room.
After Al and Miles' continuous comments of my body odor, I finally give in and take a shower, leaving the two English lads in my room with The Strokes vinyl playing. I make sure to clean myself thoroughly and even wash my hair despite my laziness to having to dry it. Stepping out of the bathroom in only my towel, I casually enter my room again to find Alex and Miles casually talking. They're eyes went to my direction and immediately they jolted away.
"You two act like you haven't seen any of this." I tease as I open a drawer and put on a pair of underwear. They both try to focus on any inanimate object in my room.
"Oh yeah that's true." Miles chuckles and spins around to check me out. I put on a pair of short adidas. "Perv." I joke.
Miles and Al kept me company for an hour or so, we talked about so much. Miles' new girl, Alex' new girl, the new album their working on together, plans we made to go bowling with the rest of the guys. Miles fell asleep, his arms hugging my body close to his. This wasn't a weird position for us, trust me.
The conversation continued to drift between me and Alex.
Alex' POV
22.56 om
"Yes, Exactly! He's so stubborn! We had a fight about microwaving aluminum foil and he wanted to prove me we could do it, so he fucking ripped a large piece and crunched it into a ball, throws it into my microwave, and I shit you not presses 3 minutes! Three! I just stood there staring at him thinking this guy's really gone mad! The microwave exploded, no surprise there, and I yelled at him an hour straight as he went online to buy me a new one!" I laugh at Talaskas story from the swing chair in her room.
"Miles didn't go mad. He is mad. Something's seriously not right in the head with him." I say. Talaska laughed lightly, trying not to move too much considering Miles had his arms around her as he slept soundlessly. I wonder what his new bird would think of this. Knowing Miles though, this didn't mean anything at all.
Talaska and I have been conversing for the last half hour or so, without Miles. It was the first conversation alone since the awkward talk we had at Matt's wedding party. All the awkwardness had disappeared and it felt like the old times truly- which scares me because the fact gives me too much joy. After all those drunken/high out of her mind calls, I was finally having a real conversation with her. Not even through a phone, but in real physical form.
The lights in her room were off but the natural city lights and night sky coming through her window illuminated her room enough for me to see her mouth as she talked. See her lips twitch, her nose scrunch up, her smile exposing her teeth; two fangs not in line with the rest though it added so much beauty to her in some peculiar way, I could see her laugh and see the lines on her face appear and disappear with every expression she gave me. I could see her. She was here. Finally.
A loud phone ringing interrupted our conversation.
"I think it's yours."
She gestures to the ringing coming from my jeans. I stand up and pull it out of the front pockets of my jeans, reading the caller from the flashing screen- Arielle. To be completely honest, I felt no desire to pick it up. I didn't want anything to come between my and Talaska's talk at the moment. So I locked my phone and put it on silent, tucking it back in my pocket and sitting back down.
"Was that Arielle?" Talaska asks, her fingers playing with Miles'.
"Yeah, she um, sent me a text a while back asking when I'll be home. I texted her back." I lied.
She nodded, a faint smile on her lips. I never knew what her small smiles meant.
"You should probably get going then?"
I checked the watch on the bedside table next to her head.
11.20
We had been talking for more than hour, hmph, I didn't even realize.
I felt bad for leaving Arielle for the night, especially since she had cooked us some fettucini or something but, I had to come here. I finally had a good reason to see Talaska again. But after our whole hour-ish long talk, it suddenly meant nothing as I was now threatened to having to leave, without actually being able to really talk to her.
I stared at her for a while before standing up and making my way to the door. Before I could even register what I was doing I stopped and walked back in front of the swing chair. I turned around and faced her, Talaska's face confused.
"I hated your calls... you know that right, Tal?" Her eyebrows furrowed deeper and closer together.
"What?"
I adjusted my weight on my right leg, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. It took a moment for me to answer her oblivious question.
"You used to call me. A lot. After, you know. After everything happened between us."
"I don't, I don't-"
"You don't remember, yeah, yeah I know. You were always either drunk to oblivion or high out of your fucking head." I let out an ingenuine chuckle.
"I'm sorry, Alex. That must've,,, I must've been a bother or something, I'm really embarrassed,"
I snap my gaze at her and bulge my eyes out.
"A bother? You were a bother even before those calls, Tal. I thought about you everyday... from the moment I woke up and the moment I fell asleep. And whenever you called me up like that... for fucks sake it, it was the worst fuckin' feeling I've ever had... Knowing you were fucked up and, and, just out of it. But I couldn't do anything... I hated your calls."
We were silent for a moment, and I regretted even bringing it up. We had agreed to start fresh and here I was, reliving the past.
"Honestly, Alex... I think a part of me knew about those calls. I remember waking up sometimes and just hearing, like an apparition? I don't know like, some ringing of just your voice in my head. And it sounded so clear that... I knew it couldn't be from memory or from a youtube music video." She left out a small laugh at the last bit.
My eyes never left hers. Miles' presence even disappeared, his low snores with it fortunately.
"I'm sorry Alex. For having to make you go through that. I never, I never wanted to make you feel that way. Even after everything."
My eyes scan her face and finally end up choosing to focus on her fumbling fingers. I gave a small nodd and smile.
"I know."
Silence crept in and I found myself sitting back down on the chair. I felt like crying for some reason. There was an overwhelming feeling of just overwhelm-ent.
"Al." She called out to me in the mere darkness.
"Hm?"
"Don't get mad but, I haven't actually listened to you guys' new album." She says, I could hear the small smile on her face coming through.
"Hah? What'd you mean?" I let out a laugh.
"You were practically gushing over it that night around the fire! Saying shite like how you loved the beats and guitar solos!"
I was beyond confused now.
"I just made all that up. I mean, all your albums have sick beats and guitar solos. You really should've guessed I hadn't heard it by my compliments, dumbass."
"Well, they sounded so, so genuine!"
"Thanks, I'm considered a pretty well actress." She teases. I laugh along and shake my head.
"Didn't want to listen to my voice or summet?" I ask her.
"No not that. I just, I wasn't ready to hear all your new songs, about like your new love or some shit... I wasn't ready for that." From the minim light the moon offered me, I could catch a glimpse of sadness on her face. But she masked it fairly well.
"You really think it was 'bout... Arielle?"
She didn't say anything. So instead I push myself off the chair and make my way towards her. Stopping right in front of her I bend down and pat Miles' arse pockets, feeling what I was looking for in the left side. Pulling them out of his jeans pocket, I pull a desk chair in front of a very confused Talaska and plug the earphones into my phone. Miles was somewhat of a freak, he didn't believe he needed to wear underwear everyday but he did believe he wouldn't be able to function if his earphones wasn't always with him.
I searched up our newest album, feeling a bit odd doing so, and after making sure I had the volume and everything set, I brushed away Talaska's hair from her left ear and stuck the earphone in gently. She seemed slightly fazed by my action and I myself was too.
I leaned down a bit, my elbows on my thighs so I could be at the same height as her face. After a deep sigh, I pressed play and the first song came on. She immediately jolted up at the tune- any hint of sleepiness leaving her face. She liked it. After it ended, I paused before the next song could came to play and recited every lyric in the song and how it all had an interrelation or analogy with her.
The second song came on and I did the same. The third. The fourth. The fifth. The sixth. To the twelfth. In the midst of my explaining the last song, a strand of my hair fell out of place and ended up dangling in front of my forehead. Before I could brush it backwards, Talaska disentangled her fingers from Miles' and brushed them back for me.
My sentence hit a sudden halt from her actions, but a flicker of light from her eyes that bounced from the dim night light snapped me out of my trance. A quick gulp and I was back to explaining. She stayed silent and listened intently to what I said. Only slightly nodding her head as the music played.
After explaining the last time, she smiled and directed her gaze at the ceiling.
God, she was beautiful. In fluorescent lighting and dim lighting- whatever lighting she was in. However though, I always thought of her as the light, radiating it off herself. She was enigmatic in every way, and I'm not sure if that was a good or bad thing.
She shut her eyes for a moment and sighed before turning her head back at me, the same smile I never know the meaning to on her face.
"The album is gonna get #1. Like usual."
I laugh and ball my hands nervously together, my elbows still on my thighs, leaning me down to her height.
"What'd you think, love?"
Her smile grew bigger.
"I love them all. But uh, song 12, that was really something else."
I stayed silent. She did as well for a moment.
"Alex. I was yours. Even when it was over, I was still yours... But now,,, now your Arielles."
Her eyes seemed glossy, but they looked back up to the ceiling before I could actually make sure.
"I love you, and I always will. And I'm beyond super flattered you made a whole ass album about me. Me!" She continued with a small laugh, mine following behind.
"But, you should get going now. She's waiting for you at home. She makes you happy Al. And that makes me even happier... Friends, Al?"
It scared me how disappointed I was at her words. My disappointment had just made me realize that her response wasn't what I was desiring for. What did I expect? For her to listen to the lyrics and my explanations and suddenly she's mine again?
In a messed up way, yes. Yes I was hoping that.
But I knew that wasn't going to happen.
"I love you too, Tal... Friends. Always." I agreed, knowing too well that wasn't what I actually wanted.
Her smile came back along with the redness of her cheeks as she looked back at me.
I got up and pushed back the desk chair, a small sound escaping from the wheels causing Miles to tense in his sleep a bit, his body calmed back down again as he pulled Talaska closer in his embrace.
And the last thought I had when I left was how I wished I was the one holding her.