Credits to: toby-wallace-is-life
I know that what I'm doing is wrong, and I'm only bringing harm to myself, but I can't let go. Being with him is like an adrenaline rush, it's exciting and unpredictable. He makes me feel a way I've never felt before, until it all ends and I'm sent into an emotional rollercoaster, only to pick myself back up and run back to him no matter what.
The situation I'm referring to is my on-off relationship with Sweet Pea, a fellow Southside Serpent. I fell in love with Sweet Pea the day I met him on my initiation. He came up to me after my Serpent dance and we hit it off, only to start a relationship a few weeks later. Things were great, until the arguments picked up and we decided to call it quits. For weeks I avoided him, to heartbroken to see his face, but after one drunken night at a party, I fell right back into his arms, only to be left a week later. It's a constant struggle, one part of me never wants to see him again whilst the other part cannot get enough of him. I constantly long to be in his embrace, to feel his warmth, and that is my downfall.
I arrived at a party hosted by Cheryl Blossom, which I did not want to attend but my best friend, Toni Topaz, insisted that I came for appearance sake. Surrounded by drunk and horny teenagers is not exactly my idea of fun, but I'm doing this for Toni.
"You came!" Toni exclaimed running towards me and enveloped me in her arms. "We were wondering if you were going to show." She said and it's then i noticed Cheryl had joined us too.
"Wouldn't miss it." I said and tried to offer a reassuring smile but I don't think i was doing a very good job.
"Just know that your ex bae and that traitor are here together." She said referring to Sweet Pea and Josie.
I don't know exactly what they are, but I do know that they're more than friends and it made me sick to my stomach when I heard the news that they have something going on. In all the time of mine and Sweet Pea's on-and-off relationship, no one else has been introduced into our complication. Josie is the first girl Sweet Pea has ever pursued a romantic relationship with other than me.
"I'll be fine." I told my friends with a tight smile. "I'll deal with it." I said but I couldn't even reassure myself.
"Well, let's go get some drinks." Toni spoke with a wide smile.
"I need the bathroom, I'll find you." I said and as they disappeared into the kitchen, I made my way upstairs, hoping to avoid socializing for a few more minutes.
As I made my way upstairs and pushed my way through crowds of people, I spotted a familiar figure in the hallway.
Sweet Pea had his hands placed on either side of Josie's head as she leaned against the wall, wide smiles on their faces as they chatted with each other. I felt my eyes start to burn and i felt a small tear roll down my cheek. I don't know how long I stood in place and stared but Sweet Pea glanced in my direction and did a double take, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.
Without even thinking, I bolted down the stairs and pushed my way through people until I was outside of Cheryl's home. I leaned against the wall and caught my breath for a few minutes.
"Y/N." I heard a voice speak and i whipped around to see Sweet Pea standing a few feet away, hands in the pockets of our signature Serpent leather jackets.
"Not now, Sweet Pea." I spoke, but of course he chose to ignore me.
"Look, what you saw in there-"
"I said I don't want to hear it." I interrupted and wiped the fallen tears off my cheeks. "I can't do this anymore."
"Do what?"
"Whatever game we're playing with each other." I said with a sigh. "This needs to end."
"You don't really mean that." He said in a harsh tone.
"I'm not going to do this to myself anymore, Sweet Pea!" I exclaimed and sent him a glare. "Not anymore." I spoke before running off, ignoring his cries for me to come back.
Credits to: toby-wallace-is-life