I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting him to come the next day, that's for sure. I thought he would just text me once or twice, then forget about me. I guess he meant it when he said he wasn't going to lose me. It doesn't matter anyway. He never would have lost me.
I would've loved him for a million years like I promised when we were together.
"I'll love you for a million years." I promised. He shook his head and smiled. "What happens when that time runs out?" He asks me and I just give him loving eyes, responding with, "Then I'll love you for a million more."
But that was a year and a half ago, only 999,999 years to go, but then I'm going to love him again, like I promised. I bet he forgot that thing I said, I don't blame him. As cheesy as it sounded, I meant it. I know, I know I can't live for a million years, but I'll be in the afterlife wondering where he is.
Ryan visited me at night. I let him inside and now were on the balcony, looking out in the distance. Like I do every morning except I'm not crying and I don't have my chai coffee.
The moon blasted against my exposed skin, making my insides tingle. Or it was just the presence of Ryan next to me. I gripped the wood railing to give me something to do because it's too quiet and I can never stay still as you know.
I bite the inside of my cheek and sneak a glance at the angel that stands next to me, watching the birds fly. He looks like a golden god, just like I said in that interview we did long ago. When they told me about the virgin thing and Ryan said, "not anymore." That was him. He stole my virginity. Well my gay butt sex virginity.
"So how's Dan?" I say out of the blue. It doesn't hurt to be polite, right? Even though it breaks my insides.
He hums and taps against the wood railing. "Good. He's not mad anymore." He said and looked over at me. I purse my lips and nod, looking away from him to avoid any thoughts.
A hole shock went through me which almost made me fall when Ryan placed his hand on top of mine. I looked over at him in confusion, my heart pounding like a drum. He doesn't look at me, just has a little grin and squeezes my hand a little before just resting on top of mine.
I glance down at our hands, they look perfect. If only I was his and our hands were laced. I bit the inside of my cheek and looked away, awkwardly checking out things while blushing. What is this?
Ruining things, a drop from the sky trickles on my nose and I finally have an excuse. "It's gonna rain. We should probably head inside." I point out and motion to the door with the hand that is not being held.
He just nods and brings his hand back to himself before walking inside. I just watch and look at my hand, imagining what it would be like to have another hand with it all the time. Ryan's hand. I sigh to myself and head inside.
I was looking for Ryan and then I found him in the living room, playing guitar. My guitar. The one that I used on Honda Civic tour.
"Wanna jam?" He asks and hands me a guitar as well. I nod and go sit down next to him, careful not to invade his space. I place the guitar on my lap and begin to strum, he does as well.
I forgot how fun jamming was with him, it's always a mystery. Except this time there's no thought to it, just strums. Back then, we'd always have to write an album or think of patterns. Now it's just normal, no stress. No love.
He began to strum a familiar chord and then the next. I listened to that song so many times that I instantly recognize it. I stop my strumming immediately and shoot my eyes up at him, he's focused on playing the right thing.
Is he fucking serious? My eyes moist and my stomach bubbles with anger. Does he really have the balls to play that? Did he think I wouldn't recognize it? I slam my guitar on the couch and rush out onto the balcony, in the now pouring rain and the dark. I don't even care if I made a scene. That crosses the line.
Fucking asshole, playing Northern Downpour in my house.
TEAM DAN
OR
TEAM BRENDON