Hello Guuuuys! :')
I'm going to update today as a promise and to the readers who motivates me :') Mygod.. You don't know how much I love you guys. Really.. You really inspires me a lot :') Kyaaah! I can't mention you all but still, I want to thank especially @mitzieeeee, @jacquidafangirl, @BubbleteaCloudWolf88, @XoXoXiuMiMi, @Taetaeismybaebae for leaving comments ❤ and others! :) Kyaaah! I really appreciate it! A thousand % sure! ^^ and for the VOTES! ^^
And.. I'm so stressed on what's happening nowadays, despite my personal problems. The problem with BAP.. They leave TSENT and file a lawsuit.. THEY LEAVE TOGETHER AND IT'S #OT6! I'm always #ForeverWithBAP~ who's baby here? Let's still support our matokis. :') and let's celebrate the day of our Lee Minhyuk of BTOB! ❤❤❤ kyaaah!
Anyways..
Thank you all and I LOVE YOU ALL!
Sorry for the long A/N >\\\<
* * *
-•-SOYUN-•-
I blinked my eyes for a nth time but I didn't saw the figurine of a boy again. It disappears.
Sighs.
I went back to my bed and closed my eyes for the mean time.
Why am I hoping that it's him?
God! It's not him Choi Soyun! He has a family now! It's already 8 months passed, and then there's no any single of him! Even his presence! So don't wait too much! It may leads you in disappointment though you know that he will never came back.
I tried to sleep but still the sobbing and presence of the guy were familiar to me.
Where is he came from? I mean, yes he's from earth but how did he entered my house?
I grabbed my comforter and clasped my hands that were shaky because of nervousness.
Why am I expecting that it was Taehyung? How many times I'll put it my brain that he already has a family. That he's happy right now, without me.
I think this is the big lesson to me.
Sometimes, letting go of your love ones does it means letting the people be happy with someone else.
I hope he's really happy with her. If he's happy, I'm happier.
I prefer to sleep because it's already 3am. I need to wake up in 6am for the meeting at 9am.
* * *
My heart feels heavy, like there's an hallow blocks fell in my heart when I saw a two couple in front of our company.
They're so sweet as the boy sent her girlfriend, or should I say our employee in front of our company. How sweet.
Me? I'm going to work alone. I'm going home alone. How cool, isn't?
The insecure were killing me inside. Their eyes landed on me as they smile happily like they don't have any single of problem, or should I say, they've already solve it.
They solve their problem. How about us? I don't know either how to solve our problem. He's really really mad at me, to the point that he wants me to die. Crap.
I make a small smile for them. I don't want to be a rude in front of them. I shook my head before entering our company.
As I entered the company, the guard greeted me as I just nod as a response for him. He's nice tho, I'm always like these to anyone else, just nod of they greeted on me. I'm not in a mood, as always. But it's just, I can't make even a big smile when we've done our job well, when we reached the sales and our company succeeds.
I know many people were affected on me of being always-poker-face face in our company. They just don't know how much I suffered but still the agonies were still in my heart. Who is the person will forget those scenes anyways?
Sometimes, our faught were haunting and flashbacking in my dreams. Sometimes, it's the reason of my tears. Or should Is say, my night mare. It's really really a bad dream for me. A big bad dream of my life.
If I just fight for him, maybe were already fine and happy with my Oppas. If I just fight for him maybe, I'm not like these. If I just fight for him, maybe I'm always smiling non-stop, always happy, always crying because of tears-of-joy. If I just fight for him, maybe I was the one who was pregnant and having a happy family with him and our baby. And if I just fight for him, maybe were already reached our happy ending.
Sighs.
Sighs.
Sighs.
I'm always like this to stop my tears from rolling down. I don't want my employ---
"OOOOOOOOH!! I'M SO SO SO SORRY MA'AMMMM!!" One of our employee kneeled down in front of me and kept saying her sorry.
I put down my things and help her to get up but she's stopping me. God. The other employee were looking at us and starts murmuring.
"Please.. Get up.." I said calmly but still.. Ugghh. She's pissing me off.
"Please.. Get up.. I'm not mad. I won't fire you.." I said with the tone of madness so she will get up.
I just get my hanky and wipe the hot coffee that was already in my clothes. It's fine 'cause I still have my clothes in my office.
I'm serious. I'm not mad, I just don't want anyone will praise me as their God. Like, hello? Were just the same in here! People who's living in earth, inhaling oxygen, exhaling carbon dioxide. Eating same dishes, and taking a bath with the water. I'm acting like a CEO but I'm not taking a bath with bloods, wines, alcohol and starbucks coffee, okay?
And especially, I won't fire her for the single problem. I'm not like the other CEO will just fire them if they just do a little single mistake. She just accidentally bumped to me that's why her coffee were thrown on me, and now she's expecting that I will fire her? It will be my conscience if her family didn't eat.
"Thank you Ma'am.. Thank you.. Thank You.." She thanked non-stop. She's still wiping my clothes but i said I'm fine with it.
When I reached my office, I quickly went to the bathroom with my extra clothes and changed it. I feel my body were sweet and sticky. But I just wipe it with wet wiped because I don't have enough time to take a shower.
Asking why I have clothes & undies inside my office? Because sometimes, I'm sleeping here. I prefer to sleep here than in our house. I feel so empty and lonely in our house. And if I keep myself sleeping alone in our house, I'm just hoping that he will came back for me. But, I'm just hurting myself.
If you were hurting, does it means you still love that person.
Mygoodness. I don't have enough time to deny it.
* * *
"What happened?" I ask when the meeting done. Karen were panicking like it's the end of the world.
"NO!! NO.. I mean.. No.. No.." At first her voice were high then now she calm herself.
My eyebrow lift up. She's hiding something. I can sense it. "Come on.. Spill it."
"Uhh.. Oh.. Nothing.." She smiled and i just let her. I won't bother to know it. I'm just her boss, not a family to open up.
I saw a paper that was folded. It's color pink. And I bet it's from Jaeyeon again.
"Give me that.."
She look at her back, left and right and look at me, confuse. "What?"
"That.." I pointed at the paper pink in the top of her papers.
"No Ma'am.. I won't let you cry again.. Never.." She said proudly as she hid the pink paper.
Were just threatening like friends, she always takes care of me, anyways. I trust her and she trusts me too. Maybe it's fine if I opened up about us right?
Oh.. I forgot that I've already open it up to her..
"No, I won't.." because I'm always crying every night..
She sighs as a defeat and give the pink paper to me. I open it up and then it reveals the picture of them. With my Oppas who's happy with her.
I just get this paper to Karen to know how much happy they are while me, suffering here.
How life is being unfair nowadays..
•••T O B E C O N T I N U E D•••
I'm crying.. Omo.
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