Songs:
Ed Sheeran - Who You Are
Sia - Breathe Me
MisterWives - Reflections
The Neighbourhood - No Grey
One Direction - Clouds
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The frigid weather outside has me trembling as I step into the apartment. The warm air is nice until I take a deep breath and realize I can hardly breathe, my chest aching. My head was pounding and I had a knot twisted in my stomach, the urge to throw up still present.
Niall stomped by from down the hall, brushing right passed me and into the kitchen. I bit my lip to hold back my tears and carefully slipped my feet out of my snow covered boots, walking slowly into the living room. Rory looks up at me peacefully from the little swing he's poised in, his fingers in his mouth again. I smile and brush his hair back with my fingers, running my hand down his little chest next and feeling it rise with the breaths he took.
"Shay."
Turning around, I morosely glance at Niall in shame. I tense as he takes a step closer to me, his jaw still tight.
"Let's talk while he's being good."
It sounds more like a demand than a request, but I'm not about to argue with him over it. He takes the lead down the hall and silently strides into our bedroom.
Placing a kiss to Rory's head, I make sure he's alright before grabbing the monitor just in case and following after Niall.
When I walk into the room I close the door most of the way behind me, wearily glancing towards an angry Niall. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, his eyes on the floor. His big hands are clasped together on his knees, knuckles cracking as he squeezes them.
Blue eyes glance at me intensely as I step forward. I sit on the bed, but on the opposite end, keeping a safe distance between us.
"Why didn't you tell me you were engaged?" His voice is full of gravel, thick with an emotion I couldn't decipher.
"Technically, we weren't really engaged, Niall. Julien says things purposely to make people angry. That's what he does."
"It didn't seem like he was lying to me."
"Are you really going to believe him over me?" I was hurt that he was practically excusing me of lying about what I was telling him.
"How am I supposed to believe you, Shay? You kept him a secret from me."
"That's because I never wanted to say his name again." My throat tightens drastically and I quickly look away to force my eyes from Niall's. I stare at the window, wiping frantically to my cheeks as a few tears spilt down.
"Why? Did he hurt you?"
I wanted to throw myself in his arms and sob, telling him everything, confessing all the truth all over again but I couldn't bare it. I couldn't speak the words again, no matter how hard I tried. I trusted Niall with my life but it scared me to speak out again.
"Shay?"
"It's nothing, Niall."
I shot up from the bed, bringing the sleeve of my shirt up to my face. I wiped my tears off quickly, attempting to walk out of the bedroom when Niall grabbed my wrist.
He pulled me towards him too easily, bringing me between his legs. I stood there, completely still, my body quivering as he took my hands in his. Niall brought my knuckles to his mouth, planting a kiss on each one. He was quite deep in a thought, his eyes unblinking and locked on my skin.
"I want you to tell me the truth," he began slowly, and I squeezed my eyes closed as more tears helplessly began to fall at his words. "Or I'll find out myself."
"You can't do that!" I cried, ripping my hands free and stumbling back. I tripped back into the wall behind me, my knees nearly giving out as Niall stood up. His eyes were dark and his eyebrows brought down in a deep frown.
His big body seemed even larger when he was angry. He was intimidating and it was scaring me just how worked up and pissed off he was right now.
"I can, and I will if you don't tell me yourself."
"Please Niall, don't" I begged him, reaching my arms out to him. He avoided me by pushing my arms away, denying me his comfort as he glared at me.
"Last chance." He demanded coldly, no remorse shown on his face. It hurt me even more to see that he didn't care about how upset this was making me.
"No, please."
He shook his head as I dropped to my knees, begging him not to do this as it was hurting me so immensely. He stomped out of the room as I screamed for him to stop, slamming the front door behind him.
I ran from the room and tried to chase him down, but by the time I opened the apartment door Niall was gone. I was sobbing so hard I barely recognized the familiar cry of my son's, but I had no time to comfort him yet as I turned back around and bolted to the bathroom, throwing up everything in my stomach.
My head was throbbing, stomach wrenching as I threw up again and again. My shaking hands clutched the sides of the porcelain bowl, sweat dripping down my brow. I felt dizzy, my hands clammy with moisture. Rory was still crying but it didn't matter how badly I wanted to get up and comfort him, I could feel the bile rising in my throat once more.
Situating myself on shaky knees on the cold floor, I closed my eyes and heaved the last of anything that may have possibly been in my stomach with a wince until I was choking on air.
The pain I felt in my chest however was 10 times worse than my stomach was currently feeling.
Time after time again, Niall proved to me how capable he was of ripping my heart to tiny shreds in the blink of an eye.
Niall's POV
I stormed passed the bellboy and the receptionist in an apartment across town, my fists clenched at my sides. I was so beyond angry with her, she was delusional to believe that I wouldn't find answers on my own. It was my place to know what the fuck had went down with the mother of my child and that Julien bloke. God damn, he pissed me off and I didn't even know him.
"Sir!! You can't just barge in here like this!"
I ignored the pestering woman chasing me down the narrow hall, her obnoxious heels clicking all the way along. I was surprised she hadn't tripped and fallen over already.
"Shoot!"
A body stumbled into me, knocking me off balance and sending me into the wall. Spinning around, I watched as the woman clutched onto my arm to keep from hitting the ground. With one glance downwards, I could see her ankles bent at an odd angle due to those stupid heels. I guess I spoke too soon.
Gasping, she straightened out, and I yanked on the sleeve of my jacket with a glare as I fixed the wrinkles she created with her death grip.
Catching her breath, she flicked her hair out of her eyes and wearily smoothed down the pantsuit jacket she was wearing. I could tell she was fumbling for an apology but I was too angry and hell bent on my mission to care.
Just as I turned to walk away and continue down the dimly lit hall, the woman grasped my arm once more; intentionally this time, and I had the urge to curse her out.
"What?" I snapped in a frustrated growl, eyeing the persistent woman with narrowed eyes. She seemed tense by my reaction, but even though it was clear I was very mad, she didn't seem to particularly care.
"You can't just storm in here," she repeated, releasing my arm and elegantly smoothing down the stomach of her suit jacket once more. She looked to be in her late twenties at least, maybe early thirties, with hazel eyes and thin lips.
"I can do whatever I'd like to." I spat, my jaw tensing. "So if you'll excuse me."
"Wait! Sir...."
I could hear her walking quickly to try to keep up behind me, though I wasn't about to stop again. Reaching the end of the hall, I glanced left, then right, then left again, before deciding on taking a right. I had no idea how to get around in this place. I just knew he lived somewhere on the top floor and I was completely prepared to knock on every single door until I found him.
"Who are you looking for? I can help you...."
Fuck, was she still here?
"I'm fine."
She practically catapulted herself in front of me, slamming her hands down on my chest to stop me from walking. It almost scared me how intense she looked, angered by my refusal of listening to her. It immediately reminded me of Shay and pissed me off even more.
"Tell me who you're looking for or I swear to god I'll call security and have your ass kick-"
"Alright, alright" I gave in, rolling my eyes as she obnoxiously folded her arms in front of her.
"How do I get to the top floor, for starters?"
She pointed in the opposite direction, so I followed after her as she lead the way. I didn't want this rude bitch accompanying me but I guess it was better than having security get involved.
She led me up one flight of stairs before we came to a row of elevators.
"Who puts elevators on the second floor but not the first?" I scoffed.
The woman glared at me from the corner of her eye, crossing her arms once again.
"My father, actually. He designed this building, but I'm in charge of everything that involves it. Now, are you going to tell me who you're going to see?" Her eyes pinpointed me to my spot, small lips curved in a cocky smirk.
Rolling my eyes again as she pressed a button in the elevator, I tapped my foot repeatedly against the floor.
"I'm looking for Lucas Stewart."
"Lucas?" Her eyes softened drastically, teeth sinking into the side of her bottom lip. My eyes followed her fingers as she nervously fiddled with the hemline of her jacket. "What, um, what business do you have with him?"
I noticed the change in her tone immediately. She was no longer talking like she had control, but more fearfully, or something. "Why, do you know him?" I fired back, watching her fidget uncomfortably.
"W-well of course I know him!" She gasped, continuing to fiddle with things in her fingers. "He lives in my building."
I knew she was lying. She was probably sleeping with him or something, but that's none of my business.
"Yeah, okay." I rolled my eyes, almost laughing as she shot me yet another warning glare. "Well how do you know him?" She asked accusingly.
I stared ahead at the doors, blowing her question off.
As soon as they opened I bolted out, my new friend chasing after me quickly. She lead me to a door halfway down the hall, and I immediately noticed just how nice this building was. Why was it that Shay struggled but her brother was living the high life? He was only two years older than her, there was no way he could be that well off on his own.
I pounded on the door with my fist, grimacing as the annoying woman stood beside me. Why was she still here again?
The door swung open, and I had to stifle a laugh at who faced me with wide eyes, her jaw hanging open and nearly hitting the floor. This was definitely a bit of a shocker.
Rachel.
Well, would you look at that.
She fumbled to yank messy bed sheets tighter around her body, and I grimaced at the realization that this would be the second time now I've seen her half naked in the matter of a few months. The dark haired woman beside me was just as shocked as I was, but when I glanced at her I knew something was wrong when her bottom lip quivered.
Oh, for fuck sakes...
"Who is it?!"
Before Rachel could answer Lucas came running to the door, adjusting loose basketball shorts on his hips. He was shirtless, and had a bear claw tattooed on his left peck. I stood silently as he glanced between Rachel, myself, and the woman that was very upset standing beside me.
"I... I, uhm.. I'll go." She choked, turning on her heel. I spun and watched as she bolted as fast as she could down the hall, probably trying to hide her tears from the rest of us.
"Tina!" Lucas screamed, clearly not caring what his neighbours would think as he ran down the hall after the woman. They disappeared around the corner, and I slowly turned on my heel back to face the door.
Rachel smiled embarrassingly, scratching at her messy hair.
"Well, funny seeing you again." She smirked as I stepped around her and into Lucas' too neat of an apartment. I hadn't seen her since she was at the apartment about 3 months back, taking her shirt off in my living room. Rachel walked off to what I hoped was to get dressed as Lucas came huffing and puffing back into the apartment.
"What the hell would you bring her up here for?!" He hissed, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. I didn't even want to know what he was up to with these two women.
"Hey man, I didn't know. And I didn't have a choice with her, she followed me."
"Great." He mumbled, rolling his eyes and sighing. Rachel walked from down the hidden hallway then, in the process of zipping up her sweater. She smiled at me once more, like she was proud of something as she strutted over to Lucas and leaned up on her tip toes. She pecked his cheek before mumbling a goodbye, waving to me too as she left.
As soon as the door was shut Shay's annoying brother was back to glaring at me.
"You know, I never did like you, but this just topped it off."
"Don't blame me that you got caught two-timing." I chuckled, plopping my arse down on his couch.
Lucas' dark eyes lit up in anger and he clenched his fists tightly. "What the fuck do you want?" He snarled, yanking a t-shirt on that was laying on a side table.
"I want some answers."
Clearly curious, Lucas walked into the living room and sat on another sofa across from me. "I'm listening."
"Ran into someone earlier today," I began, rubbing the stubble lining my chin. "Julien."
Lucas let out a breath, his eyes narrowing; as if he was searching for more information.
"I want to know what happened with him and Shay."
"Go fuck yourself."
He shot up off the couch, standing tall over me. I got up right after, not understanding what the huge issue here was and why no one was willing to tell me anything.
"If you want to know so badly, ask her. It's not my place."
He stormed passed me and towards the kitchen. Deciding to follow him, I walked into the kitchen, not letting him off that easy. When I entered the doorway, he was plopping ice cubes into a glass and pouring scotch.
"Little early to be drinking?"
His head turned towards me slowly, a look of disgust adorning his features.
"Worrying about my sex life and now this, what is wrong with you?" He brought the stubby glass to his mouth and heavily gulped down two pulls on the dark liquid.
"Why don't you just tell me what I'd like to know and I won't tell Shay that you're fucking her friend."
"Blackmail now too?" He laughed bitterly, slamming the glass he held down onto the counter. I heard the front door open and slam closed, moments later who I knew as his roommate Josh appearing in the doorway.
Seeming to sense the tight situation, he coughed awkwardly and asked his friend if everything was okay.
"We're cool." Lucas mumbled, eyeing me wearily as if to tell me to shut my mouth. I didn't have a problem doing that, if this was as bad as everyone was making it out to be, I didn't really want anyone unnecessary hearing about Shay and her ex fiancé.
"Alright." Josh sighed, chewing on the ring through his lip before walking off somewhere else in the apartment.
"Get out of my house." Lucas mumbled, picking his glass back up.
Rolling my eyes, I brushed passed him and out of the kitchen. It was obviously a mistake coming here, her dickhead brother wasn't going to share any family secrets with me today.
"Niall."
I turned my head back before I could close the door, matching Lucas's hard stare.
"Stay out of her past, if you know what's good for you."
He shut the door in my face with a slam.
A/N:
Second update in 2 days damn I'm on a roll
COMMENT OR IM NOT UPDATING AGAIN FOR 3 months
KIDDING BUT PLEASE COMMENT
Picture of Tina included as well btw