Long time no update~ ㅋㅋㅋ how's my readers? ❤ Kyaah! Thank you so muuuch! ❤❤
Happy reaaaaading! ❤
-•-SOYUN-•-
Aches. Pains. Hurts. Hatreds. Broken.
All the negative feeling were in me! Were inside of me!
Why is these so hurt than losing a child?
Why is these so fckng hurt than what he's he doing to me like slapping or hurting physically?
Why is these needed to happened?
Is these necessary?
Is these really happening to all relationships?
I know that all of relationships has trials and consequences but these is so too much.
I've never expect that these is will be our trial and consequences.
Darn it.
Were already on the point that were going to married!
To the point that were going to have a baby!
To the point that we've already love each other! We promised each other!
But why he gives up so easily?
Why he gives up so easily to the point that he believe in lies not on me?
Why is these happening to us?
Is these what you called a karma for me? For us? Damn.
These is too much for my karma!
Karma on what happened in my parents and sibling..
Karma in my asthma..
Karma in my friends..
And now?
Karma in my love ones?
This is literally too much!
I'm not so blessed.
Yes, I'm blessed that I'm still alive through all the things and tragedy happened to me.
There's a part of me that I want to die. I want to suicide. I want to kill myself.
But I think that, doing all of those will be the solution to solve my fckng problem? Damn it.
***
I heard some screams and begging voice from outside.
What's happening?
I opened my eyes slowly as I'm recovering from the lights here in the..
Hospital?
I rub my eyes as I look around. Yeah. I'm in the hospital.
Wait.
Who brings me here? Does our maid did? Woah.
Wait.
What happened to me...?
Why am I in here?
"YOU'VE HURT HER TOO MUCH!! THAT'S ENOUGH KIM TAEHYUNG!!"
I heard Mom's voice shouted from outside. She looks like angry and full of hatred when she's saying those words.
"Please Ma'am.."
Wait.
That's voice were very really familiar to me! That's voice.. That's voice..
"Mom?" I called out. Damn. I'm so confuse on what's happening outside!
But I didn't get any single answered from Mom. Oow.
But, why is it take so long? And they went into silence.
What's happening outside?
Why is it like Mom were hiding something from me?
Or should I say.. Someone?
"Mom?" I called out again.
Why is she took so long?
I badly really want to know why am I here.
I tried to get up from my lying but I can because my back get hurts. I tried to manage my hand to get an apple in the side but I can't because of my hands has a dextrose.
I tried to get up again.. I want to walk outside and found out what's happening over there.
I get up but my head aches. I massage my temple so it can lessen the pain. Tsk.
When my feet touches the floor, the door open and then I saw a nurse with his paper board and a pen.
"Uh oh. Where do you think are you goin'? Huh?" He asks while looking at his paper board. He plays with his pen like he's thinking.
"Uhmm.. Where's my Mom?" I ask still hoping that I can feel the presence of my Mom..
"You're Mom? Ahh! She visited a while ago.." He nods while his pen were in his chin. "With two handsome guys.."
Two handsome guys?
-•-TAEHYUNG-•-
Uggggh!
I punch the wall in madness and so desperate.
I'm so fckng desperate!!
Damn!
What should I do?
What should I do? Even though her mom don't want me to win her back.
What should I do? Even though her mom says that Yunnie ah will leave this country! Damn!
"UUUUGH!!" I gripped my hair in madness.
I kick the table and the couch! Fck it!
Is these how is it feels when you're alone? Literally alone.
Alone that you don't have any wife?
Alone that there's no someone can handle you by a care and love..
Later on, I just heard a loud bang from the door.. When I look up, I saw Sungjae hyung..
"Hy--" He didn't let me to finish my sentence.
His teeth gritted. He clenched his fist.
His fist landed on my face that cause me to fell on the floor.
I can see that he's so mad. Mad because of me.
I can see the pain in his eyes.
I know, because he's Soyun's best friend. He's the first friend of my love.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!" He shouted in my face.
Yes, I know. And I'm regretting it.
I can't response. My tongue can't move. My saliva get dried. My throat get dried too.
He pulled up my collar and he put his hand on the air.. His hand that like a stone.
I fell on the floor when he punch me again harder. The pain and aches were not that hurt.
It's just like nothing..
It's more hurt in here..
In my heart..
"WHAT?!!" He pulled up again my collar and look at my eyes, so badly.
"WHY YOU CAN'T PUNCH ME BACK?" He bit his lip in madness.
"YOU'RE SO GOOD WHEN YOU WERE HURTING HER!!" He throw me away on the floor.
"BUT YOU CAN'T HURT A GUY LIKE ME? HUH?!!"
Ouch.
He's so fckng right.
Why I can't hurt him?
Why I can't hurt a guy like him when I've already hurt a girl.. An innocent girl.
He can't stop in punching my face.
Fck.
I don't care. I deserve more than a punch!!
The bloods were flowing down in my face.. I can't feel the pain...
Later on, he stops in punching me. He just throw me away in the floor.
I didn't mind the blood flowing in my face.
"You've believe in lies.. Not in the truth.." He started calmly while he's nodding..
"Do you know that she've never lied to anyone else?" I lift up my face to look at him.
She's a good girl. Very very good girl.
But why I didn't think about that?
I know that.. because when I'm asking her, she tells the truth whether it's negative or positive.
"Maybe she lied for good.. I mean.. White lies."
He breathe out heavily as he punch the wall and kick the table in madness.
"But Kim Taehyung.. You were together in 3 fckng years.. But why you can't trust her? Why you can't give her chance to explain? She loves you more than you've thought.. She can't do that having a s*x with another guy.. She's so innocent.. She can't tell me about on what's happening to her.. Because.. Because she's scared that I might hurt you.."
My heart skips beat. I froze.
She didn't tell her best friend that I'm hurting her because she's scared that Hyung might hurt me?
Why I even hurt a selfless girl? Why?!!!
She's scared that I might get hurt.. But I hurt a girl that scared that I've get hurt.
Damn!
Fck!!
"She's in the hospital right now.. She's confine.. She fckng hates that.." He said calmly but with hatred and agonies.
Yes. I know.. I know..
Because I'm the one who brings her there when she passed out.
But, she hates when she get confined?
Why I didn't know about that?!!
"She has a disease.. That disease can lead her in death.." He sit in the floor and rest his back in the wall.
I've get nervous in my body when he said it.
The guilts were haunting me again.
If were okay right now, I'm sure that she's so fine.. Remember?
When we've still together, I didn't let her to get hurt.. I'm always protecting her.. because I'm the only one she haves.
Disease?
Death?
"W-wh-what?" I finally speak. I stuttered.
He clenched his fist and massage it. He closed his eyes deeply.
"She has an asthma.. Her asthma isn't normal.. She can't breathe when she's just stressed, depressed, scared and nervous.."
Asthma?
Yes, I've already know that but I didn't know that she can't breathe when she's just stressed, depressed, scared and nervous.
That's why when we fought, she breathes so heavily and deeply. Every time she let out a sigh and she kept massaging the part of her heart.
I'm getting weaker..
I'm so scared..
I'm so afraid.
She've been hiding this disease since when we first met.. Since we got married.. Since I proposed to her.. Since we.. fought.
I just buried my face with my knees. I'm hugging my knees here in the floor like what Sungjae hyung's position but were not that close.
"DO YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S GOING TO LEAVE THIS COUNTRY JUST BECAUSE OF YOU!!?" He shouted in my face.
Earlier, he's mood was calmly when he tells me about Soyun.. But later on.. His mood changes..
Wait.
What?
She's going to leave this country just because of me? Damn it!
This is cannot be!! No!
I want to win her back!
I don't want to lose her!
Ughhh!!
Fck!
These is all my fault!!
•••T O B E C O N T I N U E D•••
I'm crying while typing this.. Omona..
Comment? & Votes? ❤