Lance laid me on the bed, and pulled down my jeans, before he hovered over me; reattaching his lips to mine. I moaned, as his kisses then began to trail down to my neck.
His hands caressed down my curves, grasping the hems of my panties and beginning to pull them down.
"Lance, wait." I said, grabbing his hand before he could pull them any lower.
This didn't feel right, I couldn't do it. Even though Danny and I are just friends right now, this just feels wrong.
"What, what's wrong?" He asked.
"I can't do this." I told him, and gently pushed him off of me. "I'm sorry."
"W-why?" He asked. "You were just into it."
"No. I- I just can't." I said, pulling my jeans back up to my waist. "I'm sorry."
"But tell me why."
"Because I'm still in love with Danny!" I snapped. "I know you don't understand, and I don't expect you to. I can't do this with you, I don't wanna hurt you."
"How would you hurt me?" He asked.
"Because it's always gonna be him. I'm always gonna choose him. I can't even kiss someone else without thinking about him. He's stupid as hell sometimes and does stupid shit. But he has my heart and because of that I'll never be able to give you 100% of me. I know you're a really good guy Lance, and I know you've changed. But give that to a girl who wants you and only you. I'm too wrapped up right now, and I don't wanna be in a situation where I have to choose." I said. "Danny did some fucked up shit to me, but he's not all bad. I know he's not lying when he says he's in love with me. Before all of this, the pregnancy and everything; we were amazing together and I believe we still could be if we try. It's just me and him now. Me and Danny, it's undeniable that we just work, we always have. I can't explain it. I know damage has been done but it's not permanent, we're trying to fix it. He's doing a lot to prove himself to me, and he's been there for me during this whole healing process I'm going through. I can't get caught up in this in the mean time..I'm sorry Lance, I'm attracted to you, yeah, but I just don't love you in that way anymore..I'm in love with someone else and I don't want to waste your time."
I expected him to be upset, yell at me and tell me how stupid I am for still wanting to be with Danny after what he did. But he did none of that. He just sat there and thought about what I said, then slowly nodded his head. Shortly after he got up and picked his shirt up from the floor, putting it over his head.
Before he left out of the room he bent down, kissing my cheek and left out the room.
"Lance.." I said, and he continued walking down the stairs. "Please don't be mad at me."
I followed him and grabbed onto his arm.
"Dawn, I'm not mad. It's fine. I get it." He told me. "I want you, but only if you want me and only me. Not someone else. It's no hard feelings, I'll text you. Okay?"
"Okay.." I replied, and watched him leave out.
I could tell he was still hurt though, but I'd rather tell him straight than lead him on. There was no way I could have sex with him, it just didn't feel right to me. Fucking two niggas within the same week? I'm just not that kind of girl. Even if the other nigga is my ex, it's still not right to me.
I was actually kind of disappointed cause I started to actually enjoy the friendship me and Lance had. I thought we were on the same page in terms of knowing we just don't work anymore; and that our break up was for the best. I just hope he could try to get over those feelings he has for me, because I have feelings for someone else. Feelings that won't allow me to peruse anybody else, even if I wanted to.
__
"Hey Andrew!" I said, walking into the studio. "Where's Danny?"
"Hey, he's on his way, running late as always." He shrugged.
Danny had asked me to help him with a song he's been working on, even though now I'm an artist myself, I still write for other artist as well. It's not solely what I do anymore, but I'd never give it up completely because I still love writing for other people.
"Typical." I chuckled, as I sat down in the seat beside him.
"You been okay?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I've been alright." I shrugged. "Taking things one day at a time, I'm gettin' better."
"Glad to hear that.." He said. "Danny told me lil man looked just like him."
"Yeah, he did." I smiled, remembering Adrian's face. "Just like him.."
"I'm sorry everything happened the way it did.." He said. "But for the record, I always liked you and Danny together."
I raised my eyebrows in shock. "What about him and Jade?"
He scrunched his face up and shrugged. "Honestly, at first I gave her props for holding him down, but once she got the tattoos and shit, I started to feel like she had a motive. Like she was doing too way much for a nigga she literally just met at one of his music videos. They were together fuh like two weeks before he got locked."
"..What?" I asked. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah." He shook his head. "Yo, lemme show you something."
He made a few taps on his phone, and turned it around to show me.
"Who's that?" I asked, looking at the picture from his phone.
"Thas her and her baby daddy while he was in jail." He told me. "He was locked up when she met Danny. She was supposed tuh be holding him down, but once she met Danny, she left him."
"Why?"
"Why you think? Danny is a famous ass rapper with tons of money. That's why she held him down while he was in jail instead of her baby father. She knew once he got out he'd spoil her and take care of her daughter. Her baby daddy ain't have much to offer her."
"Listen I don't like Jade, and I ain't defending her. But we can't just jump to these conclusions. We don't know exactly what happened."
"Think about it this way, you meet a nigga and you date him for two weeks, he gets locked up. You gonna hold that nigga down for a whole year? Get his name and face tatted on you? All this for a nigga you only knew fuh two weeks?"
"Hell no." I shot back. "That's fuckin retarded."
"Unless you got a motive. She went mad hard to make herself look like she was loyal to Danny. I don't know why he believed it. If she wasn't loyal to her baby daddy she ain't gonna be loyal to a nigga she only knew for two weeks unless he got something she want. Clout and a shit ton money. She literally asked him to buy her a car after only a few days of knowing him."
"And he bought it?!" I asked.
"You see she riding around in a G-Wagon right?" He chuckled, and put his phone down.
"Holy shit, how the fuck didn't he see what was going on?"
"Danny still getting used tuh fame he's only been famous fuh two years now and he was locked up for one of them. Sometimes he gets blinded by good looks and a fat ass cause he ain't used to it yet. Iono if he sees it now or not, it doesn't take a fuckin genius to see that bitch is a opportunist. I ain't sayin she don't care about him at all but you think if Danny wasn't who he was she would be with him? Hell no."
I sat there stunned because as much as I didn't like Jade, I never second guessed her love for Danny. I was honestly disgusted that a woman would go that far for money and clout. There is nothing loyal about her, and that's what Danny would emphasize on the most. But maybe that's what he was talking about when he said he overlooked a lot of shit about their relationship. He seemed like he didn't wanna tell me exactly what he meant, I don't know why. But I'm not gonna bring it up to him.
"Wow.."
"Why you shocked? Bitches do it all the time." Andrew chuckled. "Thas why I ain't feel bad fuh her when he started cheating on her witchu. You seem more genuine than her anyway, you wouldn't have a reason to use Danny anyway, you got ya own shit."
"Yo, whassup." Danny said, walking in and plopping down on a seat. "What y'all talkin bout?"
"Nothing important." I told him, casually. "You ready?"
"Yeah." He said, standing and got inside the booth; putting on the earphones.
______
Danny's Point Of View
After the studio session, Andrew left, me and Dawn stayed behind, talking.
"So..." She said, closing her notepad. "How you been?"
"I been iight." I shrugged. "I'd perfer tuh have you there wit me though. My house feels mad empty now."
She continued putting her things away and didn't say anything.
"Come back tuh my house." I groaned. "Please?"
"Danny.." She sighed. "We can't."
"I just have the worse time sleeping witout chu.." I sighed.
"C'mon...don't say stuff like that." She complained. "You just know all the right things to say. I'll give you that."
"I ain't tryna seduce you..I'm tellin' you how I honestly feel." I said. "I just miss havin you around, thas all."
"I miss being around you too.."
"So why we doing this 'friend' shit?" I asked. "This shit is a joke, we got too much history tuh be playing these games. It's pointless."
"It's not pointless." She defended. "You said you understood."
"Yeah but this shit is harder than what I thought. We can't be friends and you know that, we don't know how tuh do that. That ain't us. Ion wanna be friends."
"Danny you make it sound so easy, I'm still questioning myself, like if im doing the right thing. I'm just- I'm still scared. You fuckin hurt me, you can't expect me to be over that overnight."
"You hurt me too." I shook my head, and looked away.
"Because you hurt me first." She defended.
"I know I hurt you, but you hurt me too Dawn. You said a lot of shit in that track, alotta hurtful shit. Then you did it to purposely embarrass me in front of the world. Worked with my enemy and shit. I know you did it tuh get back at me fuh what I did but that don't give you no pass. It still hurt me, but I ain't holding a grudge over it."
"I didn't know it would hurt you that much..you always act like you have tough skin so I thought it wouldn't bother you."
"I have tough skin when it comes to trolls and shit, yeah. But when it comes to you? I'm soft as fuck. Maybe I deserved it, but that doesn't mean it would hurt any less. The shit I did to you was in private, but you violated me publicly and made me a laughing stock as if niggas don't got enough shit tuh say bout me."
"I'm sorry Danny.." She apologized. "I really am."
"It's all good. All I'm saying is we both did shit to each other, why can't we just move past it instead of dragging it out with this friendship shit?"
"Because I don't completely trust you."
"But you not even givin' me the chance tuh show you dat you can trust me. How ima gain ya trust by being friends witchu? Shit don't make no sense."
"Fine." She sighed. "You make a good point, fine."
"What that mean?" He asked.
"It means..-I don't know." She said. "Let's..lets try."