KABIR
"I am going to have something!The girls take so much time....." Manik starts off but Aisha and Priya walk down the stairs. "Finally!! Congratulations man !" Manik Announces and in return gets a smack from Aisha on his head. " Woman! That's my hair!" Manik frowns.
"Where is Aditi?" Manik asks the question that was troubling me too. All my ears to Aisha I heard her say " She is coming." When? Is my question lady!
"Want something to eat?" Manik offers Aisha and she nods. They look at me and I nod to the negative. Both of them walk in the kitchen. I was really looking forward to see how Aditi would look like.I had overheard Priya telling Rohan that they had got their dresses from Diana's shop and I knew that Diana knew exactly how to bring out the beautiful girl out of the simple girl with ponytail. Looking at my watch I stood by a rack. I glance at Rohan and Priya who are complementing each other and I notice that Rohan can't get his eyes off her.
For the thousandth time I looked at the top of the stair case and found no one there. Well I don't know why but I want to see her first. So stupid! I look back to my watch seeing the second's hand moving slower than its usual speed! I think so but I know it's just that I am getting impatient.
"Aditi!" Aisha exclaims. The moment I look up to the staircase I am taken aback. She looks incredible. I am so stunned that I stand straight blankly staring her.She is wearing a black long dress which perfectly shows her perfect curves. She has got dark chocolate hair almost similar to black falling down her shoulders till her chest. Does she still smell like lavender?
Manik and Rohan compliment her. Carefully she walked down the stairs at times making eye contact with me, however I stand dumbfounded. She is so attractive! I want to tell her that but thoughts mere thoughts, no words fall out.
"Let's go!" Aisha exclaims.
Hey! No. How about Hi! Yeah that's a good start Kabir! You look damn beautiful. I mean I can't take my eyes off of you...... NO. I will sound so desperate. You look nice! Yes! That's perfect. I plan out what to say exactly.
Walking out of the house I turn back to finally tell her that she looks 'nice'. She hits my chest.
"Clean shaved, I like it!" She says looking at my face.
"Thank you coffee!" I say instantly with a grin. She is so embarrassed and looks down. Maybe she did not want to let it out. I look at her for an instant and turn around to walk out. Shit! I didn't even say what I planned to. Instead I was so cocky and that, 'coffee!' was so damn cheesy! Face palming myself I walk to the car and get in the Driver's seat.
Aditi gets into the seat behind me. I purposely adjust my rear view mirror to see her. Our eyes meet. Awkward! I must drive safely.I re-adjust the rear view mirror and drive safely to our venue.However I enjoy looking at her.
Every time I look at her I am left with no reason as to why looking at her brings smile on my face,moreover why I want to see her. Even in the class when she caught me looking her way I got panicky. But playing smart is my way. I started acting as if I was playing with her and irritating her. Yeah she must have thought that I was some crazy man!
After years I acted so funny screaming 'spider' at Mr. Jha. The next moment I think about how she was crying because of me! I broke me apart seeing her in such a condition. I knew irritating her would stop her from shedding anymore tears.
Stopping the car Manik all of a sudden acts like a gentleman. It pisses me off! But why should I care not that I would ever do something like that to her. Well I can! There is no harm in acting so caring! But I am very bad at showing my feelings and most of the times I screw up things. Like there was this time in class 5 when I wanted to purpose a girl but before I could even give her a slight hint that I liked her she declared me her brother! Yeah one childhood bad memory. My friends kept on laughing and I joined hem soon when I told them this.
I am brought out of my thoughts when I hear Manik telling about his love life. "Bro!enough!" We've already reached to the grand entrance. I have been to such kind of elite parties often and they turn out to be same as always- 'Boring'
Yeah this is the moment! She is busy talking to Manik and not looking at me. Should I ask her to dance? Well, not that we are a couple but....technically she is wearing black which matches to my black tuxedo. So aren't we together? Oh!! That's such a stupid logic. I just want her to enjoy this type of party. Not that I like her or something. I tell myself.
So finally we face each other. I look past her and see Mayank approaching us! No way we can't fight today! He looks me and gives a smirk then walks to Aditi! No way! Mayank you want to fight ;I am ready but don't do that! Or else I will..... "Would you like to dance with me?" He said that! I owe him a punch. Why the hell is he acting all sweet?
Aisha you are right! He must have some evil plan behind that fake smile. No.no....Aditi don't go with him. There I screw up things again. I hate her! why did she go with that jerk?
I sigh. I am no one to her. I don't have any right to stop her to go with anyone.It's not her fault.I was pretty late.She is dancing with him. "What's wrong with Mayank? He is purposely making Aditi dance." I frown on hearing Aisha's words. I closely watch Mayank and Aditi when Tia loses her balance and falls on me. Hitting my chest I smell a lot of perfume.
"Oh! I am so sorry! Kabir" She apologizes .Her hands moves up from my chest to my shoulders and she takes a step towards me.
" I must make it up to you! What you say!" She says licking her lower lip! Gross! Looking past her head I see Mayank limping and walking away from Aditi.
"Get a slow song played." I face Aisha whose face of disgust changes to a grin. She knows me well! "Oo.... dance!" Tia begins but pushing her at a side I walk towards the dance floor. Standing before her she looks at me with amazement in her eyes. I look at the DJ and he plays a slow songs. The lights got dim and the people who were dancing like hooligans a while ago got on the dance floor with a date.Slowly I grab her soft hands and bring them up to my shoulders. Wonderstruck she looks into my eyes. Ilove surprising her!
" I don't know how to....dance." She whispers into my ear.
"Open your heels." I tell her.She looks at me raising her brows with wide eyes.
"Trust me!" I say still holding her hands. Her cheek rises slightly forming a half smile on her beautiful lips. While she looks down and opens her footwear I unintentionally inhale the same lavender smell. I think I will get addicted to her smell after this night.
Looking at her again I say, " Get on my feet."
"What? No." She whisper shouts.
" Its a form of dance. Called...called.... 'Close Waltz'" I make up a lie. She looks at me with a confused look but gets on my feet. I hold her by her waist and she crosses her hands around my neck. Our noses remain a few centimetres away.She isn't very short even without heels.
We stare at each other's eyes. " That's so romantic!" I hear a girl somewhere around but I don't want to know who it is.
This is wrong! I can't like her.Worst of it I can't let her like me.Can't let her get hopes that I am a lovable person! But somewhere deep within I don't want to stop. I am not right for her.She deserves someone better,someone who can give her time. How much ever I want to stop myself I can't. I give up! I want her.She is so attractive but I don't want her to hate me because after I get her in my bed I won't be around the next day. I never am! I have done that with many girls and never regret about it. She isn't everyone. Rohan knows that I am not the type to love someone. Moreover there is no use of any such relationship in which I can't devote my time.
After years I am happy. It's nice to be with her. Her smile is so contagious. "What's wrong?" Aditi asks me.
"Nothing." I say with a short smile. I am so selfish! She is my distraction! She is my distraction from that the bad past I had. When she is around I forget all about the dark times. I forget that no one in that huge house loves me. "I am tired." I hear her. Saying so she places her head on my shoulders. She is in my arms. I know I have a silly smile on my face. It's like the one a kid has when he gets his favourite chocolates, maybe!
"Let's go." She looks up in my eyes. I don't want her to leave. I don't want our closeness to vanish. "Hmm." I simply say. She gets her hands off my shoulder and doing the crease of her dress wears her footwear. Her one hand still holds my arm and I just look at her. The moment she is done with wearing her heels our friends approach us.
"What a dance! Guys...."Aisha says with a smirk. Everyone smiles at us except Rohan. I know what we will talk about the next time we are left alone. As we walk out Rohan offers Aditi to drive in her car. I know it's for her betterment, so that she does not get hurt later but I just can't stop myself from getting pissed off.
Next day is a Sunday and just as I expected, Rohan shows up at my house at 8 in the morning. " Hey" I casually say completing my work out session. " You know why I am here for dude!" He straight away comes to the point. I don't speak a word. I don't want to talk about it.
"If it would be some other girl I would not interfere but this is Aditi and she is my friend." Rohan says with concern in his voice, but this pisses me off.
"What do you mean?...." I begin just to be cut off by him.
"Are you ready to love her? Ready to give her time? Ready to let her in?"
I remain silent because I don't have any answer to his questions. I myself is confused.
After a pause Rohan sighs and takes a step closer to me. "Don't give her false hopes. Don't use her. She isn't one of the girls who will get in your bed. Kabir, are you ready to love?"
His question make me look at him. I frown and the fear of falling in love haunts me again. We look at each other for few seconds and then breaking the silence, Rohan let out a breath and spoke up, " You know what to do now. I don't want to see her hurt." Said so he walks out of my room. "Ughhh...." I frown and hit the wall with my fist.
A sudden pain is felt on my knuckles. I care less of the physical pain but the fact that I need to stay away from Aditi. Love is a bane. It's a tsunami which drowns everyone trying to touch it.
"Love her?" I say to myself. Truth can be so bitter that you don't even want to face it at times. This is one truth, I am sacred to end up hurt. A tear falls down my cheek and my memories as a kid flashes in my mind. All the screaming and yelling echoes in my ears. Aditi's eyes with tears flashes in my head and immediately I decide, "She deserves better."
Monday, I avoid her. Avoid her eye which seems disturbed, ignore her talks.
Thenext day I do the same. If I want to makeher hate me just to keep her happy I am ready for it. I went to the extentthat I got up abruptly, faking a phone call when she came in the cafe. Thingsseem pretty normal after few days. She starts to avoid me too. It hurts.
Presently we drive in the parking of the Paradise High, one of the elite hotels in the city for an art exhibition. Priya's painting is also being put on the wall. Since kindergarten we all knew she loved painting. Aditi wore a white summer dress and Aisha a floral jumpsuit. We all dressed up pretty casually with me having a black leather jacket on top. As expected Aisha sat in the back seat behind the passenger seat while I drove.Smart girl, I can't even see her.
Going in we met Priya in a black off shoulder top and black pants and Rohan. He insisted Priya that he should come before everyone else just in case she needed something. There were various rooms with outstanding paintings displayed beautifully on the white walls. Soon people gathered Priya and we left her to enjoy her attention. Looking from painting to painting my eyes landed on Aditi. She had her hair tied to a pony. Suddenly my eyes land on the lower of her back and I spot a red stop.
Shit!I mentally panic.Aisha is not around and Priya is busy with the crowd.I look back at her, the silly girl is all engrossed watching the paintings. Without thinking for a second I walk we long strides to her. Standing right behind her I whisper her name in her ears.Immediately turning around she looks at me with astonishment.
Before I could say a word she frowned and pushing me aside walked to the next painting. She is so stubborn! I again walk to her again. She senses me coming and moves again. "That's it!" I am fuming. For the fourth time I walk to her and she opens her mouth to speak. Before she could I whisper yell at her, "Don't. Speak. A. Word!" Her eyes go wide and gently placing my hands on her shoulder I push her slightly against the empty wall and corner her.
Sighing, I speak up, "Your dress got dirty."
"I will take care of it....I don't need your help...." She begins with a frown on her face.
I cut her off , "Aditi it's not....I think you got a...stain"
Her eyes spread with horror. I don't even want to imagine how she must have felt.
I look around but do not find Aisha or any of our friends. "What to do?" She looks at me with her dark eyes and gulps. "Don't worry......I am always there..."I speak with the last line very softly.
Taking a step away from her I open my black jacket. Bringing it down between our waists I look at her. She is trying to comprehend what I am planning to do. Sliding a hand behind her waist with the jacket I tie a knot with the arms of the jacket around her waist. In doing so our hands brush past each other and I wonder if she noticed it. Looking back to her I take a step away and create space between us.
"I'll drop you home." She thinks for a seconds and then nods. I walk ahead of her. I practically run to the valet parking. The moment she stands next to me the car arrives. Taking the keys from the parking staff I quickly get in the driving seat. Aditi gets in the car carefully holding my jacket to her dress. Pressing the accelerator I speed up out of the hotel premises. I glance at her once when she tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.
She is constantly looking down and shakes her hand. She must be nervous. Speeding up I stop the car at her door. She looks at me for a second with a confused look. I smile and give a short nod. With a short smile she gets out the car and rushes to the main gate. I do not budge from my place.
Turning back she closes the main gate and our eyes meet. I look at her with a smile. She just blankly stares at me then rushes inside. She is already gone and like a crazy fan I am still standing out her gate. Something is seriously wrong with me!Letting a deep breath out I drive away from herhouse. Its Aditi again I think about before sleep overtakes me.