*.☽.*
Holding my breath,
we passed through the lobby of his building. I almost felt like melting next to him being so aware that several eyes were still watching us right now. I didn't do anything but look at the ground but Baekhyun however he never did the same thing. He never looked down the whole time on our way inside. He wasn't making an effort to hide his face. He didn't have any intention. At all.
When we were waiting right in front of the elevator, I saw him took his phone out only to turn it off. After doing so, he asked for mine as well and did the same thing. I didn't ask him to justify his actions anymore. We both knew what it meant.
Shutting off the world. For now.
At least.
I was watching him the whole time, so the moment he met my eyes, I didn't make an effort to look away anymore. It was almost as if we were talking in silence, reading each other's expressions. He was also staring at me with loving eyes and it seemed to have taken all my anxiousness away. Then we heard the elevator.
There was a subtle smile on his handsome face as he gently took my hand and led me inside.
***
We got inside the empty elevator, I watched the doors closed before my eyes. My brain was so aware of how good his warm skin felt in my hand. So good, I'd forgive myself for not thinking straight. Coherent thoughts are nowhere to be found.
He held my hand in the street.
He kissed me in the street.
My attention darted to our intertwined fingers before I slowly looked up to him. For some reason, he seemed at peace though I knew a lot was going on in his mind as well. I was about to open my mouth to speak but the elevator doors opened once more, revealing a two immediately shocked women. Seeing how their eyes immediately started to pry, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable all of a sudden.
They got in and stood right in front of us but couldn't seem to help but glance at Baekhyun. I even saw one woman's mouth fell open while openly staring at him. The other woman paid attention to me though, her curious eyes instantly making me more anxious. I ended up looking away. However, right at the same time, I felt Baekhyun squeezing my hand. I knew fully well that he was urging me to look at him, so I did. The moment I met his eyes, he gave me a reassuring smile.
I heard a couple of gasps inside the elevator.
We were still looking at each other when we heard the elevator. Checking the floor indicator, it said we were already on his floor. Leading the way out, we excused ourselves between the women as we got off the elevator.
Oh my god! That is Byun Freaking Baekhyun.
So, it's true that he lives here?
Wait is that his girlfriend?!
Their remarks sure did reach my ears even when we were already a few feet away from the elevator, taking our way to his unit.
***
Still holding my hand, I followed Baekhyun until we got inside his unit. We were both silent as we stopped in front of the glass wall in the living room. I watched him focus on the view in front of us, so I did the same thing. I stared at the buildings at first before the occupied streets below caught my attention. The cars that seemed like toys form up here reminded me of what happened a while ago.
"Baek..." I uttered.
"Hmm?" He answered but his eyes never left the view.
"Did we..." I nervously gulped, momentarily closing my eyes. "Did we really just...just hold each other's hand in the street?" I continued, turning to look at him.
He gazed at me for a moment before I saw his lips form into a smile and nodded. The soft expression on his face as he gave me the confirmation was heart-warming.
I felt like crying all of a sudden.
"Are you..." I hesitated, trailing off trying my best to steady my voice since my vision was already starting to blur. "Are you happy we finally get to do it?" I added, this time smiling while my tears well up.
His beautiful eye smile made my heart beat faster.
"Yes." He replied, nodding once more. "Very." He added, his smile growing wide and even more beautiful.
Oh my god. For some reason, this whole conversation was really making me emotional. I blinked my eyes and my tears unstoppably rolled down my cheeks.
I heard him let out of a soft laugh as he gently pulled me closer, his hands stopping at the curve of my waist.
"I can still remember the time you took me stargazing and you mentioned about wanting to hold my hand in the street." I told him but momentarily paused to wipe my tears. "And that one time you took me to your secret place and promised me that one day, you'll be able to do it."
As his hands left my waist, he brought them to my head to tuck my hair behind my ears.
"Or the time you got drunk and told me how you want it just as bad as I do." He replied, his tone affectionate.
The look in his eyes was melting my heart.
"I thought we'll never get the chance." I said, biting my lower lip, hoping to resist my crying.
"Well, we just did." He replied, his voice sounded very satisfied and thankful as he took my hand to his mouth and kissed it.
I let out of a soft laugh as I wiped my tears before I felt his own hands helping me with my tear stained cheeks.
"I'm sorry for acting like a baby crying over this right now." I apologized trying my hardest to stop from crying because I knew just how much of a fool I looked like right now.
He chuckled, as he motioned to cup my face with his hands.
"You're right." He agreed. "You are a baby." He added, gazing at me with loving eyes. "My baby." He finished as he leaned closer to plant a kiss on my lips.
Baby. Hearing it, I felt like crying even more.
Right after detaching his lips from mine, I slipped my hands around his body to hug him. Honestly, all of this seemed so unreal right now. And I was just so thankful I didn't board that plane and that I chose to stay and be with him.
"Did I ever tell you how much I love your hugs?" He said, leaning closer to my ears.
His lips, slightly touching my ear left a ticklish feeling. I couldn't help but smile as I hugged him tighter. What I did must have pleased him, he ended up letting out of a soft laugh.
"Will you do me a favor and hug me every day from now on?" I heard him say as he also went to hug me tighter.
I nodded, biting my lower lip.
"Shall we go glue our bodies together?" I asked, wanting to make him laugh.
He did. He laughed and it sounded so good in my ears. Music. Music to my ears.
"That won't be necessary baby." He replied.
"Why? I thought you love my hugs?" Confused, I leaned away so I could meet his eyes.
"Well, I do. Yes but...there's still a lot of things I'd like to do with you apart from hugging so..." He paused and winked at me.
My face started to feel warm, totally aware of what he meant. I knew I should've gotten used to his words and his ways by now but somehow I still felt a bit shy whenever we talk about this stuff.
"Oh, hello Strawberry." He muttered, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I immediately held my face with my hands and honestly I wasn't surprised with how warm they were already.
"I thought I'll never see you blush again." I heard him before. "Thank god you love me so much and did not board that plane." He added, his tone teasing. "If you did, I'm pretty sure I'd never eat strawberries again."
I shot him a questioning look.
"Well, strawberries aren't the same without you."
I bit my lower lip, trying to stifle a smile.
"Liar." I muttered. "You can't resist strawberries." I added, giving his arm a light tap.
I attempted to step away from him and break free when he refused to let me go by pulling me closer, his hands tightening around me.
"No. Your hug duties aren't done yet Miss Park."
My lips automatically formed into a curve as I leaned my head against chest.
Honestly, I'm just so glad this Baekhyun is back.
***
Later on, I noticed how he started clearing his throat and cough from time to time. He also told me that he felt dizzy, so I led him to the couch and fished for the medicine I bought for him earlier. I also ran to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. When I came back, he was lying with his eyes closed.
Aww, my poor sick baby. I silently thought.
As soon as he felt my presence, his eyes flew open and got up to sit. I bent my knees on the carpeted floor as I handed him the pill and the glass of water.
"How do you feel?" I asked, my voice revealing how worried I was as I took the glass from him and placed it on the table behind me.
"Better." He muttered. "A hundred times better now that you're here." He added, his handsome grin giving me the butterflies.
I just had to resist the urge to hit him since I knew he was sick. He looked pale so I brought a hand to touch his forehead and found it a bit hot.
"You need to take care of yourself Baek." I told him, concerned. "Please tell me you will."
I looked intently at him and noticed how the corner of his lips turned up.
"No." He answered briefly, there was a glint of teasing in his eyes. "I won't." Moving his head sideways.
My eyebrows furrowed, confused with his response.
"Why won't you do it?"
"So you'll do it for me." The smile on his lips grew as he urged me to sit on his lap. "I just love it when you take care of me."
I couldn't help but chuckle at his remarks. He was being sweet, I know.
And I was falling for his every word.
I missed this.
I brought my hands to his face and brushed his hair away from covering his forehead. His eyes were focused on me as if memorizing every detail of my face as I did the same thing.
"I'll take care of you and you don't have to get sick for me to do it." I replied, caressing his cheeks with my thumbs. "So please, don't get drunk again nor have yourself beaten up by some losers when you can definitely kick their asses off in a split second." I nagged, I couldn't help it.
He chuckled as he held me by the waist, pulling me closer.
"Okay Mommy." He stated, burying his face against my neck.
We stayed that way for a little while before I told him to lie down on the couch once more so he could rest. He did what I told him to do before I turned away so I could clean up the table and place the pills in the medicine box. However, I wasn't even done with it yet when he reached for my hand, getting my entire attention.
The look in his face was soft so when I faced him, wondering.
"Don't do it again." The gentleness in his tone was kinda overwhelming.
I didn't say anything but waited for him to continue and enlighten me.
"Disappearing like that." He added, a subtle frantic look evident on his face this time. "You almost gave me a heart attack."
I motioned to sit right next to him as he adjusted his position to give me space. I tilted my head down to stare at our hands before looking at him.
"I'm sorry Baek. I didn't wanna to wake you up earlier." I reasoned out. "You're sick and I..."
I stopped talking when I felt and saw him taking my hand to his mouth and give it a kiss, his eye never leaving mine. Gosh, it took every ounce of energy I had to resist the butterflies in my stomach.
"When I woke up and found your side of the bed empty, I..." He paused to take a deep breath. "I thought you weren't really with me all this time and that I was dreaming."
"My side of the bed?" I replied, wanting to distract him from being sad.
"The other half of my bed will be yours now." He told me with a subtle smile, the mole right above the corner of his lip taking my full attention.
Hearing this from him, my lips formed an upward curve as well as I felt the growing blush on my cheeks. We both stared at each other for a brief second before he gently pulled me closer to him, making me lie against his chest.
"It's not like I'm gonna let you get away again anyway." He added as he wrapped his arm around me.
Up until this moment, I kept asking how on earth do I deserve him? In fact, I was busy contemplating on this thought while listening to his steady heartbeat when I heard him spoke once more.
"Are you scared?"
I could sense that he was somehow hesitating and for some reason, I kinda felt like he had been meaning to ask this question.
I am. Of course, I am. I'm scared of the aftermath of the revelation of our relationship to the public.
Closing my eyes, I nodded.
"It'll be a life if I say I'm not." I answered in all honesty.
I felt his chest move up as he took a deep breath then caressed my head.
"We'll be alright." He said in a gentle voice. "We will be alright."
"I believe you." I replied as I momentarily looked at him.
His beautiful lips formed into a beautiful curve again.
"Baek..." I hesitated.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for taking me back." I said after a moment's reflection.
"No, thank you for coming home to me." He replied in a soothing tone, his every word sounded like music to my ears.
I was so mesmerized by how handsome he looked and overwhelmed by the heart-warming feeling this moment was giving me right now. I didn't dare stop myself from adjusting my position so I could reach for his lips, giving it a firm kiss.
I felt him smile.
"Look who's getting braver." I heard him say, his lips barely touching mine.
I knew he was teasing me for initiating the kiss like he always did whenever I did it, so I hit him on the chest causing him to winced and overreact.
"Just shut up and kiss me back Baekhyun." I stated, my cheeks hot.
He laughed, obviously amused until I felt him attempt to get up.
"What are you doing?" I asked, flustered as I ended up sitting on his lap once more since he sat up. "Where are you going?"
"Let's go to the bed." He answered. "So I can give you all the kisses you want back and more." His eyes, though still teasing were serious. "A lot more."
Oh my god, is he being serious right now?
However, he seemed to be when he got up, taking me in his arms. I shrieked when as he did it so swiftly, I had to instantly wrap my arms around his neck.
"Are you serious?" I asked, gulping.
He smirked.
"Why? Are you scared you might get sick too?"
No words. My brain wasn't able to come up with a single word to respond to him as he looked undeniably handsome in my eyes right now.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of you when you get sick." He added, the hint of amusement evident in his tone. "I maybe best at it, who knows."
That smirk he did again.
"I'll shower you with love, smother you with kisses until you get better." He stated.
I knew I was falling for his antics again but his skin felt hot, nudging me back to reality. He's sick and he certainly need some rest.
"Baek." I muttered. "You're hot."
"Oh yes, I am." His reply was quick with accompanied by a cocky smile.
"Listen Baek." I groaned as I held his ear, giving it a gentle squeeze to get his attention.
I saw how his eyebrows furrowed a bit, his smile disappearing.
"It's not that I'm scared of getting sick too. It's just that..." I stared at him intently. "I need you to take a rest for now." I added. "You're obviously not feeling well."
He, miraculously didn't ague when I honestly expected him to. He must not feel really well that the next thing I knew, my feet were already on the floor as he gently put me down. I watched his shoulders slump as he sat on the couch again, titled his head to the right. Avoiding me.
Of course, he was sulking. A big baby.
I observed him for a whole minute but he didn't even looked at me once. So, I tried to interact with him by hesitantly and gently kicking his foot with mine but to my disbelief, he immediately moved his foot away.
My eyes widened as he was obviously playing hard to get.
I let out of a sigh as I sat next to him but he moved away, putting about a foot of space between us. I stared at him unbelievably, trying to stifle a laugh. He was being ridiculous right now and I knew that he knew it fully well.
"Baek." I uttered. "Look at me."
He didn't as he continued to look at the opposite way. I sat silently by his side for a few more seconds but he didn't really pay attention to me at all. I even ended up tying my hair into a loose ponytail next to him without him noticing.
"Okay, since you don't wanna talk to me nor even look at me..." I trailed off, deciding to let him be for a while as I attempted to get up. "I'll go..."
The next few words I was about to say totally disappeared into thin air when he, without a warning, stopped me from leaving by laying on my lap.
Startled, I could only watch him. His eyes were closed, his hands folded on top of his chest. Pretending to sleep.
The temptation to run my fingers through his hair was strong but he suddenly spoke.
"You can't go anywhere." I saw how his lips opened to mouth the words. "Don't even move an inch away from me." He opened his eyes and looked at me. "Do you understand?" His beautiful, soft looking lips forming into a slight pout as he spoke.
Damn, that little pout.
"B...but you're ignoring me." I reasoned out, trying my best to sound serious.
I waited for him so reply but no words came from him. He went back to close his eyes instead.
"And you're still ignoring me."
My eyes never left his face for a second. I watched every detail of his handsome face until my attention fell on his adam's apple moving as he swallowed.
It's so hot. Then I recalled how he looked in the bathtub last night. Oh god, Park Hae Won, I scolded myself. I shook my head sideways as I tried to dismiss my inappropriate thoughts right now.
"I'm not ignoring you." I heard him say, distracting me from my not so modest thoughts. "I'm trying my hardest to forget how beautiful you look right now."
Right then, it was my time to gulp.
"You have no idea how much I want to untie your hair and pin you against the wall at this instant."
He was so straightforward, I hate him.
I knew he still couldn't see me but what he just said turned the little butterflies in my stomach into birds and kinda made me blush so I turned away, wanting to hide the growing pink tinges on my cheek.
"But damn, this is not helping." He groaned as he, without a warning, sat up then stared at me.
He wasn't blinking, I swear. It made me nervous.
"Seriously?" He said in a gentle voice. "You have the audacity to blush while I'm suffering?" He let out of a sigh.
I couldn't speak, I just couldn't with the way he was gazing at me right now. Then, as if in a swift slow motion, I felt him grab me. His hands went to cup my face, his warm lips crashing against mine in an instant.
I was taken aback, yes I definitely was but oh my god his experienced mouth was too irresistible I just had to kiss him back. However, after a couple of seconds he detached his mouth from mine to plant a small but firm kiss right in corner of my lips.
Hearing him taking a deep breath, his breath fanning my face as his mouth was merely an inch away from my skin. I knew he was trying to stop himself.
This must be torturing him right now.
He moved away a bit though his hands were still holding my head steady.
"You're so cruel." He told me, his eyes boring into mine. "You shouldn't have kissed me back."
Oh.
I was still trying to form coherent thoughts in my head when he instantly let go of me, got up and started to walk away.
I was so confused but I heard myself asking him a question.
"Where are you going?"
I watched him stop and turned around to face me again.
"I'm gonna go look for strawberries I can actually eat."
My eyes grew wide at his remarks.
"Since my favourite strawberry is declaring that she's off limits." He sounded so serious and a bit frustrated before he turned around once more to walk away.
Was he mad? Like, seriously?
Then I thought, I might have been really cruel for kissing him back when he was obviously trying to hold back.
But really, what am I to do when I'm so weak for him as well?
Who can resist Byun Baekhyun anyway?
***
I found him sitting on his bed, leaning his upper body on his headboard while he started at his phone on the table which I just noticed was vibrating non-stop. Of course, he'd be getting calls after what happened. Then another moment later, he stretched his arm to grab his phone to turn it off once more.
"I turned it on only to tell Mr. Yoo to buy us something to eat..." I heard him say and found him looking at me.
For a moment, I didn't know what to say while I walked closer to his bed and sat on the edge. I saw how his forehead creased before he reached for my hand to pull me closer to him. I didn't protest and the next thing I knew I was sitting between his legs, leaning against his chest. He's being more clingy which I have noticed happens when he's sick.
"What are you gonna do Baek?" I asked, unable to stop myself. "What are you gonna tell them? Will you be okay?"
"I'll release a public statement soon."
My heart started to beat wildly with what he just said.
"If my company fires me...then, I'll have to look for another one. But if no one wants me after this...it's fine. Maybe it's time for me to take a rest and live a quiet life with you."
I felt sad with the thought of him not being able to do what he was born to do. But then, we both knew what to expect the moment we gave in to what we felt for each other.
I filled my lungs with air and he must have noticed it, he ended up wrapping his arms over my shoulder to hug me from the back.
"Are your parents mad?" He asked, his tone just as sad.
I nodded.
"Do you think they'll kill me?"
My lips automatically formed into a smile due to his exaggeration.
"Maybe." I replied, my voice unable to hide the fact that I was smiling.
"But why do you sound so happy about it?" I could almost hear him pouting. "I'm offended."
I couldn't help but laugh. I was laughing yes, but there was something inside me that was so anxious about my parents. And the moment it got the best of me, I stopped smiling.
"I told my mom that I didn't want a life without you." I blinked my eyes a couple of times as I try to convince myself to continue. "It's true. Yes, if I leave I would have a quiet life but then I knew in my heart that I didn't want any of it if you're not in it....and yes, I also know that choosing to stay and being with you will be crazy. My privacy will be invaded, people will say horrible things about me and that I'm sure I wouldn't be able to walk in the street without people's prying eyes all over me but if you're so willing to go through everything you have to go through just to be in this relationship then I will be just as willing too."
He was quiet for a few seconds and all I could hear was his breathing.
"Sometimes I ask God if I deserve you." He stated. "Just thinking about how much you're putting in the line here..."
I gently took his hands off me so I could face him.
"Don't worry..." I smiled at him. "I also keep asking God if I deserve you too." I added as I slid my arms around his waist to hug him.
"We'll be alright." This time, it came from me.
He planted a kiss on my temple before he surprisingly rolled us over to the bed, we ended up facing each other without breaking the hug. We stared at each other for a whole minute before I noticed how his eyes turned droopy.
"Go to sleep Baek." I said as I brushed his hair away from his eyes.
"Will you still be here when I wake up?" He asked, his voice sounded as sleepy.
I also saw how he blinked in slow motion, indicating that he was about to nod off any moment from now.
"Mm." I mumbled as I nodded. "I'll be the one you'll see first when you wake up." I assured, smiling at him.
"Really?" He asked, now with his eyes closed.
Oh, he sounded and looked so soft.
"Really." I answered as I leaned closer to plant a soft kiss below his right eye.
After the kiss, I saw how the corners of his lips formed into upward curves. I also placed a hand on his cheek, my thumb caressing his soft skin gently.
Watching him sleep right now, I could only pray that things wouldn't be as bad for him. I hope that for some miracle, his fans will support him so he wouldn't get in trouble with his company.
But then again, I knew that whatever happens, I'll never leave his side again.
***
11:37AM
Mr. Yoo arrived with plenty of food. He also brought supplies and I helped him store them in the fridge. While we were doing it, I noticed how he kept smiling. I even heard him humming so I literally had to stop what I was doing and give him a curious look.
"Oh." He muttered when he finally noticed the look that I was giving him. "I'm just happy you two are back together Miss Park."
Of course, he was. I was aware of how much he liked us to get back together. Not to mention, he had been very supportive since day one. I was happy that he looked pretty positive about it but I was also very curious about something.
"Mr. Yoo..."
"Yeah?"
"How is it?" I asked. "I mean how's the public taking it?"
The look on his face suddenly changed to worry and it made me feel uncomfortable all of a sudden.
"Well..." He hesitated. "Baekhyun didn't tell you yet?"
My heartbeat raced. Scared of what I might find out.
"He turned his phone off...mine too. So, I don't really have any idea of what's going on outside."
"I don't really know if I should be the one to tell you this Miss Park. Maybe you should just ask Baekhyun."
I didn't like the idea of giving Mr. Yoo this burden but I didn't want to wait anymore. I was also so scared to open this topic with Baekhyun.
"He's sick Mr. Yoo."
I saw how the man's eyes grew big.
"What? Is he okay?"
"Yes, he's sleeping now." I said, nodding. "So, please tell me."
He cleared his throat.
"Well, photos of you two are all over the news right now. There were different videos taken this morning, hundreds of photos I supposed. It's even on TV. Baekhyun's name is trending on all sns and portal sites...there are also photos of you anywhere as well. Some official news blurred your face but there were fans who uploaded your photos taken today and I am pretty sure they've already found out about you and in no time, I'm certain that some of them will bother you Miss Park."
I expected this, of course I did, right? But to hear that it's really happening now, I just. I couldn't fully digest everything.
"Those photos..." He added. "The ones that were sent to his house last time..."
The ones that were from Eun Chan.
"What about them?"
"They were released online as well."
Oh god. Of course, Eun Chan wouldn't just stand still.
"But they won't really matter that much now since the two of you just openly showed your affection towards each other in public."
I suddenly felt immensely shy at the mention of what happened this morning. Somehow it had a different tune coming from someone else. And that smile on Mr. Yoo's face wasn't helping.
"What about Manager Kang?" I asked, wanting to change the topic right away.
Mr. Yoo suddenly felt silent, the smile on his face disappearing as well.
"D-did something happen between him and Baekhyun?"
He closed the fridge and faced me. He looked a bit hesitant whether to tell me but I remained staring at him, making an effort to let him know that I was waiting.
"Baekhyun found out about him talking to you that day."
Oh. My heart suddenly felt heartbroken knowing that it wasn't really Manager Kang's intention.
"Do you remember that night Baekhyun got beaten up at the bar?"
I nodded.
"Manager Kang and I insisted to take him to the hospital but Baekhyun was being hard. He said he didn't need anyone taking care of him and told the both of us to leave him alone. Manager Kang also insisted to stay behind and try to talk him out of it. He told him to think straight because he was destroying his career and himself along with it. But then, Baekhyun being totally not himself that time yelled at him and said things like he didn't want anything anymore. He said he'd quit."
I had to blink a couple of times to process everything Mr. Yoo was telling me. It was really saddening to think that Baekhyun and Manager Kang went through something like that.
"Then all of a sudden Manager Kang said that your decision to leave him was right. That all your sacrifice would go to waste because he was too coward to face the truth that you became the bigger person by choosing to walk away for his sake." He titled his head down. "And right then he told Baekhyun that he talked to you that day before you broke up with him." He trailed off to clear his throat. "Baekhyun got so mad he almost punched Manager Kang if I didn't stop him."
"Oh my god." I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand.
"He told him to get lost and that there wasn't a need to check on him anymore since he'd make sure to destroy his career that Manager Kang was so protective of."
I suddenly felt so guilty, I had to sit on the stool to give myself time to think. All this time, I thought Manager Kang was still looking after him.
"I never saw him since that day."
My heart was definitely breaking with this realization. He was like an older brother to Baekhyun. He was the only one Baekhyun ever trusted in the company. What Baekhyun felt must've been unimaginable and Manager Kang...he was just trying to protect him.
"It was my decision to leave Mr. Yoo." I uttered, my eyes on the counter. "Yes Manager Kang talked to me but I was the one responsible for it. He was also having a hard time..." I paused to take a deep breath not knowing what to say or how to explain it. "What's gonna happen to Baekhyun now?" I asked, turning to face him. "Who's gonna help him now?"
Mr. Yoo remained silent.
"Is he by himself now? Is... he going to face his company and everyone alone? Oh god."
I bit my lip, pre occupied by the very thought of Manager Kang leaving Baekhyun.
"Oh god Baekhyun." My heart continued to ache for him. "What if I call him? What if I tell him...beg him to come back?" I asked in an obvious panicked voice.
Mr. Yoo shook his head.
"I don't think that's a good idea Miss Park." He answered quickly. "It's would be best if we let them fix it by themselves. I mean, they've been together since Baekhyun started his career and their relationship has already gone beyond work. They're like brothers so, I hope they can still work things out."
I really hope so. I silently thought. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if they never reconcile.
***
1:33PM
Mr. Yoo left about thirty minutes ago and I had just finished cooking. I lowkey scolded myself for letting Baekhyun go to sleep without eating anything to think that he was sick. After setting everything on the table, I proceeded to his room.
The room was dim since I turned off the lights a while ago. I immediately heard him coughing as soon as I got in so I hurriedly walked and got on the bed to check on him.
"Baek." I uttered as I hurriedly placed a hand on his forehead and found it really hot. "Oh god, you're still hot."
He continued to cough, unable to respond which got me more worried. I also noticed how he was sweating a lot. I gestured to check his back and realized that his shirt was wet.
"We need to get you changed." I said before getting off the bed.
It was a bit too dark inside so I decided to switch the lights on. I turned to him and saw him flinched due to the instant light. I felt sorry but I need the lights on to locate the closet which I easily found. I pulled a thin, plain white long sleeves and went back to the bed.
He got me startled when I found him already sitting on the edge of the bed, his bare feet on the floor. His head was tilted down, his shoulders shook due to coughing. His hair was dishevelled and revealed his pale face when he looked up to meet my eyes.
My heart sank at the sight.
I walked towards him and cupped his face with my hands. His droopy eyes bored into mine and his warm face was made me sad.
"How do you feel?" I asked.
I saw how his lashes moved as he blinked before his mouth slightly parted to speak.
"Good." He muttered, one corner of his lip turning up.
Though worried, I couldn't help but be amused by his answer.
"Liar." I replied trying to stop myself from adoring how he looked so cute right now. "I'm going to change your shirt okay?"
Right after he nodded, I tugged on the hem of his grey shirt to pull it up over his head. I briefly looked away to pick the long sleeves shirt I got from his closet on the bed. I was about to get him dressed again when he startled me by putting his arms around my waist, resting his head on my stomach.
"What's the matter?" I asked right away.
He shook his head. "Nothing."
He's being soft again and how my heart reacts to him being like this is crazy.
"I just want to have you close like this for a few more seconds."
Oh. My heart fluttered at the sound of his deep and a bit raspy voice. My hands gently landed on his bare shoulders before I proceeded to brush his hair with my fingers.
"You must be hungry." I said.
I felt him nod again.
"I wanna eat strawberries." Then he motioned to look up to me.
I chuckled, he wouldn't just let the strawberry thing get way easily. I gazed at him and I felt the need to plant a kiss on his nose so I did.
"Let's get you better first and I'll buy all the strawberries in the world for you." I told him, smiling. "Okay?"
He shook his head as he let go of me and proceeded to make me sit on his lap, draping his arms around my waist this time.
"No." He disagreed. "You don't have to do that..." He added and with the way he was mouthing the words, I was certain he was being all pouty again. "My favourite strawberry is enough for me."
I laughed aloud, my both hands gently squeezing his ears at his remarks.
"I'll eat you like this." I heard him say before I felt his mouth on my arm giving it a gentle bite.
Instead of protesting, I burst out laughing once more. Although he was obviously sick, he just couldn't let his antics go.
"How are you still a flirt when you're sick?"
A cheeky smile painted his pale face.
"I'm a flirt for you twenty four seven, you should know that by now." He reasoned out as he pulled me into a hug, his forehead leaning against my shoulder. "Doesn't matter when I'm sick or whatever."
My smile grew bigger. This man, really.
"And I missed flirting with you like this." I heard him say in a muffled tone.
Ah, so heart-warming.
***
6:36PM
We were both on the couch in the living room. I had just finished feeding him with the soup I made. He was now lying down, my lap as his pillow. He wasn't asleep yet but we weren't really talking. It was as if even the silence between us was enough. I was also so scared to open my mouth and blurt out stuff we shouldn't really be talking right now.
"Let's go back to the hiking place." He said but with his eyes closed, breaking the silence all of a sudden.
"Mm." I uttered, nodding. "I miss that place too."
Then I saw how his lips formed into an upward curve, sending my forehead creasing.
"You know, I haven't really forgiven you for kicking me down there that time."
I instantly got what he meant and felt embarrassed right away.
"Did it really hurt?"
"Like hell." He answered, pursing his lips before opening his eyes. "I should have sued you not for my hand but for kicking my toot." He trailed off and there was an instant hint of teasing in his eyes.
That crazy beeping tone he imitated. Oh my god.
"My god you're crazy Baek." I replied failing to stop myself from smiling.
"But if it's the only way..." He trailed off to cough. "To meet you then I'm willing to go through that again."
I was about to open my mouth to reply when we heard the doorbell. We both stared at each other and honestly I kinda tensed with the idea of someone visiting him.
"Who could it be?" I asked briefly as I helped him sit.
"I don't know." He shrugged. "Could be my parents, Soo Ah... Kyungsoo...or Mr. Yoo since they're the only ones who know this place." He replied nonchalantly.
The next thing I see, he was already up on his feet. He looked at me one last time before leaving to get the door.
As I waited for him in the couch, I couldn't help but feel so anxious. Whoever it was, I was pretty sure he or she would tell us about what's happening outside. I mean, I knew I already talked to Mr. Yoo this morning but why do I feel extra nervous right now.
Get your shit together Park Hae Won.
About a few seconds later, I heard a pair of footsteps approaching. I saw Baekhyun first before another man followed suit. I instantly made an eye contact with his visitor.
Manager Kang.
***
Manager Kang sat right across Baekhyun and I. He looked pretty uncomfortable just like we all were. I told Baekhyun I'd go so they can talk in private but he insisted for me to stay.
"You're sick?" Manager asked after hearing Baekhyun cough.
"Yeah." He answered. "Sucks to be me, right?" He added casually but not disrespectful.
I threw silent stares at the both of them who fell silent once more. Then Baekhyun turned to me and there was something in the way he looked at me. It was as if he was asking permission but he seemed apologetic.
"I'm sorry..." He finally said when he turned to Manager Kang again. "Hyung."
Did he just say sorry to his manager?
I saw how the older one's face looked surprised as well. Baekhyun's apology must have been very unexpected.
"Sorry I pushed you away." Baekhyun continued. "I was, I was just not in my right mind at that time."
Manager Kang remained silent before he tilted his head down and took a deep breath. He also brought a hands to cover his eyes. Was he crying?
I suddenly felt like crying as well seeing all of this. I knew I only got to know them not a long time ago but I could sense how much comradeship they both have developed all these years.
"Forgive me Baekhyun." He finally uttered, looking up to look at Baekhyun before he turned to me. "I'm sorry too Hae Won."
Oh god, no. My little heart can't take this.
"I hope that you forgive me both. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it was the right thing by talking to you that day." He paused to sniff. "But then the way Baekhyun reacted to everything just proved me wrong. The way he was so unhappy and miserable without you to that extent...I was a fool. I'm sorry."
My heart was breaking in a whole different way hearing all of this from Manager Kang.
"Manager Kang, you don't really have to apologize to me." I replied, trying my hardest not to choke my words due to the lump in my throat. "We were just both trying to protect Baek..." I paused to look at Baekhyun beside me. "We both thought we were doing the right thing..." My lips formed into an upward curve when I faced Manager Kang once more. "And honestly I just...feel so guilty that you two have to go through all this difficulty just because..."
I felt Baekhyun squeezing my hand, taking my full attention with it. His eyes looked misty as he shook his head momentarily staring at me before he turned to his manager.
"We were just all very confused that time...I knew my irrationality has gotten the best of me too and it might have scared you both. When she broke up with me, I was so bitter and angry. I was so mad with the world and everyone to the point I despised my career for robbing me of something I want the most in life. I felt hopeless, defenceless so when you told me that you talked to her to break up with me I just lost it. I knew I've thrown you very mean words Hyung..." He momentarily stopped to cough. "I'm sorry, I regret every word."
Tears were already welling up my eyes the second time he apologized to him. And when I saw him attempt to stand, I supported him. We both walked towards Manager Kang who also stood on his feet. I saw them exchange hesitant looks before Baekhyun spoke.
"We're both so lame trying to be this dramatic, you know that Hyung right?"
Manager Kang chuckled at his remarks before they both hugged each other. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but feel happy. Tearing up, I smiled at the sight of their reconciliation.
"By the way..." Baekhyun stated when they were both facing each other again. "I'm not apologizing just because I need your help after the scandal I caused this morning."
Manager Kang laughed.
"I'd still insist to help you with it even if you refuse, that's why I'm here." The older one replied.
"Stop." I exclaimed, interrupting them.
They both stared at me, wondering.
"Are you guys trying to make me jealous right now?" I blurted out, wanting to make the situation lighter.
The look of wonder and surprise on their faces only lasted for a split second because they started laughing the next moment. Baekhyun draped an arm around me and I ended up wounding my hands on his waist hugging him while we both face Manager Kang.
"Don't worry, you're the one I love." He told me.
"Get a room, you two." Manager Kang intercepted.
Baekhyun and I both laughed.
"I'd love that idea Hyung but...she doesn't want me because I'm sick and I might pass the virus to her." Baekhyun casually told his manager.
I, on the other hand, was a bit flustered with the fact that he just told him about it. I pinched his side and he groaned and got me and his manager laughing once more.
***
8:04PM
They both started talking about work a few minutes later and I started to feel anxious again. This was the crucial part and I didn't really know if I would like to nor I was ready to hear anything job related talk. But then again, I guess I was already a part of everything and it was best for me to be aware of this stuff.
"They called me right after the photos spread online. They told me that you have lost your mind." Manager Kang said looking at Baekhyun who was now beside him since we were all sitting on the couch.
"So, did they mention about terminating my contract already?" It was Baekhyun.
My heartbeat doubled as we both waited for Manager Kang's response.
"Not yet..." He answered. "I'm pretty sure they won't terminate it just yet because you're still not done with your tour."
Baekhyun and I exchanged looks.
"However, things will drastically change Baek. Because of your relationship being publicized, your tour is already gonna be affected. You know how some of your fans will react... and by some, I mean a lot of them. We'll have to check the number of ticket refunds for the concerts if ever. If that happens, sponsors might pull out." He took a deep breath. "The company's stocks also started to drop this morning."
It was Baekhyun's turn to fill his lungs with air by taking a deep breath.
"I will go there tomorrow. I'll meet with the higher ups."
"I'll go with you."
I was surprised with his answer. He sounded very sure and determined.
"Are you sure?"
"They're going to summon me anyway. I'll take responsibility of my actions. I knew the risk I've taken and how things are going to hurt my career."
Manager Kang nodded at his remarks while I grew tensed right next to Baekhyun.
"You're on every news since this morning. Of course they've blurred out Hae Won's face on TV and some official newspapers but the unedited photos have spread online. You okay with this Hae Won?"
I had to blink twice when Manager Kang finally looked at me.
"Well..." I hesitated. "It's not like I haven't thought about this possibility yet." I added.
Baekhyun held my hand once more as he gave me a reassuring look.
"Okay." It was Manager Kang. "Just remember, never talk to any press about this no matter how persistent they are. It would be best if you stay away from social media for now. They could be really harsh this time and throw you hurtful words. If something bad or weird happens, please let us know right away."
I had a hard time processing what Manager Kang just said but I end up nodding.
"I'll look after her. I won't let her go out alone too." Baekhyun said in a serious tone. "I'll talk to Mr. Yoo as well."
"Let's just hope for a miracle that the public will take it easy on you both."
None of us answered. It was as if everything I used to picture out was finally happening now. Everything was dawning to me now and it was sending shivers down to my spine.
"By the way...I talked to Ara this afternoon." I heard Manager Kang say.
Hearing her name again and recalling how our last encounter was made my heartbeat run wild.
"She said she decided to go back to Paris. She'll be leaving the country tomorrow."
She's leaving? I didn't expect this.
"She also wanted me to tell you that she's sorry for everything. She wanted to apologize to you both personally but given the situation we have right now, she knew it's best to just keep her distance."
I felt Baekhyun let out of a sigh of relief while I end up holding my breath.
"She already had an interview with a broadcasting company earlier this morning as well. She must have also seen the news about you and decided to clear things up so it won't get worse."
"Why is she doing this Hyung?" Baekhyun asked, sounding confused. "Are you sure she doesn't have any agenda behind this?" He added briefly before he coughed.
"You know her Baek. Deep inside she's also a good person. I'm certain she was just brainwashed by Publisher Kim and the others. They used her and the way she feels about you to try and convince you to break up with Hae Won before. Maybe in one way or another, she got carried away because she still loves you and the thought of you being with Hae Won now might have hurt her pride."
Baekhyun tilted his head down.
My mind suddenly recalled the first time I met Ara. How she spoke so gentle, how her eyes seemed to be free of any disguise. The way she cried and begged Baekhyun to take her again. She totally changed right after that day. Manager might be right. I don't know.
"Her interview will be broadcasted tonight. I think it will be on any moment from now." Manager Kang said standing up to take hold of the television's remote control.
***
We waited for about ten minutes before we saw Ara on the TV. She was in a room, looking as pretty as ever. She's dressed in a light blue ruffled top, jeans and beige high heeled shoes. Her hair was done in a neat ponytail. Gosh, she looked like a real life doll, I'd never wonder why people like her for Baekhyun.
There was a female host with her in the room. They started saying their greetings and in just a matter of time the host told Ara that she can now say whatever she wanted to say.
"Hello Everyone. This is Kim Ara. I chose to appear in front of you right now to clear some things. Just to set things right, I am doing this on my own freewill."
"I know that we are all aware of the issue I got involved with a few weeks ago. The photos of me and Byun Baekhyun taken that night in Paris that circulated on the internet was nothing but a...major misunderstanding. He and I were in Paris for a Magazine Photo Shoot for a charity project." She paused to smile."
Seeing her this way and hearing this from her right now, I didn't know but it kinda tugged at my heartstrings.
"The team went out for dinner to celebrate and I think I drank too much I just got carried away and it happened. I might have hurt and caused confusion to some and I sincerely apologize for my recklessness. I was so embarrassed when the news came out I even asked Baekhyun not to speak about the issue, so please I hope no one blames him for not saying a word about it."
My eyes darted to Baekhyun who seemed to be so engrossed.
"You might also wanna ask so I'm giving you an answer now." She smiled beautifully. "I knew about his current relationship and I'm happy for him...actually for the both of them."
Oh my god Ara, my heart ached watching her pretending like this. I couldn't explain it, like after everything she's done to me and Baekhyun, I just pity her.
"I've met her and she's an amazing woman. Baekhyun deserves to be loved by someone as caring and supportive as her."
I gulped at the same time she kinda subtly did on TV.
"To our fans, I know you guys will be upset but please remember that Baekhyun and I are also humans. We have things and people we want and love that you might not end up not liking but I hope we don't cross the boundary of being disrespectful. It is the words of those we value the most that hurt us and the people we love. Sometimes, it's actually the hurtful ones that we remember the longest."
Her eyes were misty by the time she stopped talking. She even had to look up to stop the already visible tears from falling.
"Baekhyun has been working so hard." She swallowed, turning on to the camera once more. "I was a witness to that. He's got such a big heart for his fans and always tries his best to make them happy. Believe me that man even forgets to take care of himself at times because he wants to offer us the best."
She took a deep breath.
"I guess what I'm trying to say here is...is that we, his fans and supporters including me, we owe him a lot. We owe it to him. All these years that he had made us all happy just by simply existing. It's time for us to give back all the love he poured over us by supporting him. We all deserve to be happy, and he honestly and clearly does too."
Baekhyun leaned his back against the couch. He must feel so moved by Ara's words. Out of all people, we never expected to hear this from her. The next thing I knew, he brought a hand to rake his hair with his fingers before the same hand covered his eyes.
He was tearing up.
And I couldn't blame him. He was so mad at her and now, she's on TV clarifying things. She even has to lie and set her real feelings behind just to make up for the things she's done to the both of us. This seemed unreal, even to me.
I guess Manager Kang was right after all, deep down she was a good person.
***
I left the two of them to talk more about their visit to the company the next day. I went to the bathroom only to look on the mirror for a few minutes. My heart was beating wildly behind my chest. I still couldn't believe everything I heard from Ara.
She just...oh my god, I can't imagine how hard it was for her to say those things when the truth is she still loves Baekhyun very much.
That familiar sinking feeling in my heart resurfaced. Then, as if my mind wasn't in chaos yet, I remembered how my phone was still off up to now. Honestly, I'm too scared to even turn it on.
***
When I came back to the living room, Manager Kang was ready to leave. As soon as I walked in the room, Baekhyun spread an arm for me, signalling me to stand next to him and when I did, he pulled me closer.
"You sure you'll be fine?" Manager Kang asked Baekhyun when we walked him to the door.
Baekhyun nodded right away.
"Don't worry, I have everything I need here." He answered, looking at me with a beautiful smile. "And luckily she's also the best nurse." He added as he went behind me and draped his both hands over my shoulders.
Manager Kang chuckled before he turned to me and honestly I was a bit embarrassed with the way Baekhyun was so showy in front of his manager.
"Don't dare leave him again. He's just a total wreck without you." He told me in a teasing tone.
I felt my cheeks being hot when I felt Baekhyun's lips on my temple.
"She's stuck with me. For real." He told his Manager the next moment.
"Okay Mister Head over heels in love." The older one replied, unable to hide his amusement.
He was about to get out the door but he turned to look at us both once again.
"By the way, it's going to be a tough fight... but I'll be with you all along."
I felt something in my soul when Manager Kang said it as I mouthed a thank you.
"Thanks Hyung." Baekhyun stated.
***
10:45PM
We were already on the bed and had just finished checking on his temperature which had somehow improved. I thought his fever already died down as well as his coughing though I still hear him clearing his throat from time to time. We were facing each other with minimal space between us but it was as if he wasn't contented yet. He pulled me closer until I already had his arm as my pillow.
"Baby..." He muttered.
"Hmm?" I responded, looking up to meet his eyes.
"I'll write a letter to my fans tomorrow."
For a moment, I didn't know how to feel about what I heard.
"Are you nervous?" I asked him.
He nodded right away.
"Some of them will hate me I know, but as long as there will still be people who choose to stay by my side, I'd be thankful. No matter how few."
Aww, Baekhyun. I was suddenly so sad that he has to go through this. I hugged him tighter, I didn't want to say anything else. I wouldn't be able to say the right words anyway.
"And as long as I have you."
These were the last words that were spoken that day.
***
7:13AM
The next day, I found myself alone in his bedroom. I woke up and he was gone. I was sitting on his bed with my phone on my hand. My hands were sweaty and a bit shaking as I tapped on the notification that says Baekhyun posted something.
I was so nervous. I didn't know what to expect. I mean, I knew it was going to be a letter to his fans but I was so anxious. I prayed over and over again last night for a miracle that his fans will remain loyal after this news. Oh God, please.
When I was finally on his Instagram profile, I found out that there were two new posts from him. The first one was a familiar photo of me, it was the one he sent me last time. The one he candidly took up at the old hiking place. It was a side view photo of myself, my eyes closed, my hair dancing with the wind as I faced the wondrous sunset view. He kinda edited it to it appeared to be a slight silhouette.
I checked on the time stamp and found out that he posted 4:17AM.
Did he even sleep?
I swallowed hard before I brought myself to read his first letter.
"Hi everyone, this is Baekhyun. I am personally writing this letter so I could let you guys know what's been happening to me lately. You must have seen the photos and have heard the news so I want to officially confirm it. Yes, I am in a relationship with this amazing woman."
"Truly, I apologize if this has come as an ultimate surprise to everyone who supports me but...I am not sorry for loving and being with someone who makes me the happiest. She is the one I always wanna come home to. She is my home."
""I have been meaning to tell you for the longest time and I have always dreamed of the day for me to tell you guys about her. She's just amazing and makes me feel like the luckiest man alive. She loves me in a way I wanted to be loved and even more than that. My wish is to have a life with her and with you guys. I hope you can give me a chance to live that dream."
Gosh, that was...did he just officially tell the world about me? My hands were slightly shaking. Oh Baekhyun. I...was too overwhelmed, my heart felt like exploding. Tears started to pool in my eyes and before I knew it, they started to roll down my cheeks already.
I had to take a few deep breaths before I was finally able to compose myself so I could read the next post. And the most recent one was a concert shot the audience, his fans. Their light sticks looking extremely beautiful.
"To my fans, my beloved fans,
You know how much you all mean to me. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for your love and support. We have been together for a long time too. Some of you have been with me since the beginning right when my name didn't mean anything yet. I remember my very first performance and the feeling I had when I saw my first supporters. That memory holds a special place in my heart. All these years, I have worked hard to repay and give back all the love that you have given me, not just because I feel obliged to do so but because I love seeing you all happy. I love putting smiles on your faces. Nothing is more rewarding than seeing your happy faces when we see each other, may it be during concerts or any other performances. You have given me so much strength and joy. I am grateful, I will always be."
"Even with this news, I am hoping that you guys can support me and wish for my happiness as I wish for your own as well. I know this might be a lot to take in but I want to be honest with you guys. As I am writing this, alone in my living room, I kept praying that I won't hurt you. But if inevitably do, I sincerely apologize."
"I will not go anywhere and if you would still allow me, I'd still be the same Byun Baekhyun you have known all these years. I will work even harder to be worthy of your trust and support. I owe you guys a lot, and I'd love to continue to make you proud in the future too. I hope you'd give me the chance to."
All my love,
Baekhyun.
***
I could feel it. His overflowing love for his fans and the people to love and support him. Even at this trying times, he was still being careful with his words so he won't hurt anyone.
I'm convince he's an angel. I wasn't surprised when I found myself crying again. Oh my heart really goes out for him. He must have stayed awake all night, though he was still a bit sick so he could come up with a heartfelt letter for his fans. He's too precious.
Where is he? I looked around as I felt that familiar sinking feeling behind my chest. I suddenly want to give him a hug. I want to assure him that everything's gonna be okay though I am not honestly sure about it. I just want to comfort him right now.
It might be the very thing he needs right now. I was panicking, not really knowing if I should get off the bed and start looking for him. I was still a crying mess too.
And maybe I was just too preoccupied that I wasn't able to hear anything coming from the bathroom because the next moment I knew, he was getting out of the bathroom. He was half naked, beige sweatpants, barefoot...wet hair that he was trying to dry using a white towel.
His eyes were on the floor at first but shifted to me the next moment. He looked pretty startled to see me. I must look so terrible, crying...my phone on my hand.
"What's wrong baby?" He asked.
However, instead of answering, I got off the bed and ran towards him right away. There was a loud thud when I finally came crashing against his body. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I tiptoed so I could give him a very tight hug.
I felt his body stiffen, he must still be surprised by my actions.
"Hey...hey...why are you crying?" I heard him as I felt his hands gently rubbing the back of my head.
"I...love you." I said, almost choking because I was really crying so hard again. "I love you...I love you...I love you."
I heard him smile.
"Yes, I know that fully well love, but do you mind telling me what's going on?"
I let out of a few sobs before I let go of him only to momentarily meet his gaze before I cupped his face with my hands. Oh, god...how I love this man. In a split second, I felt myself tiptoeing so I could reach his lips. I kissed his smooth, warm lips. I felt him kissing me back in no time. My tears continued to roll down my cheeks but they weren't a priority.
The kiss was starting to increase in intensity. His mouth turned aggressive and needy and I was making sure to keep up with his pace. Suddenly, I forgot that I was crying as I felt like drowning. My legs turned jelly, I had to wrap my arms around his neck once again. I was so carried away with how good this felt right now, his hands all over me. I was so preoccupied I just felt myself pushing him, my bare feet moving forward until I heard another loud thud followed by his groaning that caused me to open my eyes.
To my surprise, we were inside the bathroom and he was pinned right against the wall now. I felt his eyes on me and I swear I almost forgot how to breathe when I saw his handsome grin.
"I see you want to pin me against the wall too." He teased, his voice deep and raspy.
My face suddenly started to feel hot. Very hot.
"I..." I uttered but immediately paused because my throat felt dry all of a sudden.
"Baby, believe me I wanna do it but my body still feels a little bit swollen, I'd have to turn you down." He stated.
My eyes grew wide. What? What did he just say? I was speechless for the next few seconds before he chuckled.
"But then, like you said it's impossible for me to resist strawberries." He teased, a cocky smile on his lips. "Especially when it's..." He trailed off as his eyes bore into mine.
This was driving me crazy.
This was driving me crazy.
This was driving me crazy.
"...my favourite strawberry in the world."
~♥~
AN: Oh, this was a seriously long chapter. I hope it all made the long wait worth it. Anyway, feel free to share your thoughts and let me know what you think about this. ^^
Strawberry for the win.
Paige