-•-TAEHYUNG-•-
"You're really handsome.." She stroke my hair and smiled.
She's really beautiful..
I'm lying here in my bed while she's just standing beside me.
"Don't get drunk again, huh?" She chuckled and pinch my cheeks.
How much I missed her.. I missed her sooooo much. Damn.
"Of course!" I answered and smiled to her.
But.. Why is she crying?
She kissed my forehead and she stands up..
"W-where are you.. going?" I stuttered.
"Just always remember that I love you okay?" She smiled and kissed my forehead for the second time.
"Bye, Kim Taehyung.. Bye.."
I woke up with the sun light on my face.
Aaagh!
My head hurts! Damn!
I massage my temple to lessen the pain...
And then I remember on what happened last night..
Damn!
I should be happy right now that were already divorce! But fck! Why is there in my heart that WHY DID I DO THAT?!
I'm so fckng confuse..
An of course, I'm so tired too..
I can't stand looking at Jaeyeon at the hostpital.. She really look weak and tired..
I yawn for a second and stretch my body... and I just feel that there's nothing in my top.
I grab a shirt from the floor and wear it. I'm so hungry..
I look at the clock and then I saw it's already 11am.. And then, suddenly my eyes were landed to calendar..
And then I saw MAY 02 was encircled..
My heart races as I realized what date was now.
Fck that shit.
I quickly went outside of my room and went to her room to check her.. I went to the bathroom of her room but she wasn't her.. I went to the kitchen but no.. I went to the garden but there's no sign of her...
Where is she?
Oh my god..
I forgot all the things I told her lat night.. I gripped my hair in suffocation.
God! What have I done?!
I went to the living room, hopeless.
And then I saw a cake.. A cake with 4 candles. I came closer and then I saw..
"4th Anniversary.."
A tear roll down in my face as I realized what have I done to her...
Today is should be our 4th anniversary but we didn't even celebrate it because were already divorce last night.
I sit in couch in frustration. I face my palms and cried silently..
Why..
Why did I do that to her..
Why do I hurt her?
Why.. Why..
I look at the cake again and I realized that there's a folded paper beside it.. and our ring..
I pick it up and unfold it. It's her handwritten..
"Hello Yeobo~
Last, last last year. The day when we got married. I'm so happy back then. I'm so thankful that I'm going to marry a guy like you, not because you are an idol but because you captured my heart.
At first, I want to give up for fighting my love for you, but my conscience told me to don't give up. So I did.
It's been a months since you loved me back then, I'm so thankful with that though.
Every moment we had, every second we take, It's already treasured in my heart and in my mind. And I don't have any intentions to erase it.
And the year passed, many trials we'd have been through, but luckily we solved it with TRUST with each other.
Many things happened to me, to you, and to us. The moment that I got a coma, the moment when Kookie has a feeling for me, the moment when we both arguing, the moment when we trapped in our trip, the moment when we are always watching movies with Oppa's, the moment when we exchange 'I love you's'. Everything! It's still in my heart and in my mind and it won't ever erased.
I'm so thankful that I'd married a guy like you. A guy who always make me alive everyday. A guy who always takes care of me. A guy who always makes me blush. A guy who always makes me smile. A guy who always annoyed to me. A guy who always makes me fall in love everyday. A guy who taught me how to love. A guy who I was confused to, what is love? And HE's the reason why I knew the meaning love. And HE's the reason why I smile everyday and makes my day completed.
After 3 years, we are already engaged. Too fast you know? You proposed to me when our anniversary was. I'm so happy on that day. It's so UNEXPECTED. Really.
Many months had passed and your best friend is back. She's JaeYeon, right? We are always arguing because of her. No. I didn't blame her. No. I'm not.
JaeYeon. because of her you were always lack of time for me. You've always choose to spent your time with her than to me. Yes, I'm jealous because I'm your fiancee. I have rights.
But, she's always scaring me. She's always hurting me not mentally or emotionally but physically. She's always giving me bruises. She said that if I tell you that she's the one who made it (my bruises) she's going to do something bad against you and my Oppa's. I'm so scared because I don't want you guys to put in a trouble. And all I can do is to shut my mouth up.
It's been a month since we are not talking too much. I'm pregnant. Yes, that's true. I'm really am. I'm 3 months pregnant but, when I'm going to say it to you, you were always refusing it. Always saying that You are tired. You didn't own this child. I don't know how to tell you this. And when the days were approaching and JaeYeon already knew about my pregnancy, she stab my stomach and cause that our baby died. Our soon-to-be-daughter or son died. I'm so hopeless. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick. I don't know how to say it to you, and now this is the only way to open it up to you.
Only Jungkook and Suga Oppa can understand me. That I didn't even s*x with another guy. But, why.. why you're not believing on me? Why do you kept believing to lies?
JaeYeon. She's the reason why Suga Oppa's Jagiya and Suga Oppa broke up. She's the reason too of broke up between Jungkook and Coleen. I hope that she's not the reason why'd you are tired of loving me. I hope so.
Everything passed, and now. I mean..
Yesterday, I tried my best to be brave and more gave more self-confidence to myself. I ask you if you'd still love me, but you answered, 'NO! I NEVER LOVE YOU! AGAIN!! I'M TIRED!' I'm so done. I felt like a thousand of people stabbed me in my heart. I lose my love ones. He don't love me anymore. That guy the most I love, was tired of loving me.
Why did you give up? Why you didn't let me explain?
Our promises. Our promises that we made was broken though. They says that "PROMISES WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN." I think it's true because you broke our promises.
And now, May 02, it's already our anniversary. Our 4th anniversary. I'm happy that were got into 4th year. But I think that this will be our last anniversary.
Here, I gave you a freedom. I leaved. I know you need some space and I need too. I need some fresh air. I think this is enough for you.
I want you to forget me. I want you to love someone else. I want you to open your heart to those people who deserves your heart and love. I want you to do a good job, make your fans be proud especially your hyungs and family.
Don't do anything bad that can affect to your career, okay? Don't do bad things.
Taehyung ah, always remember that I'm always here beside you. We are always here in your side if you need to cry on or to lean on. If you have a problems, don't ever hesitate to talk to me or call to me. But not now, I'm broken. I'm broken too. I need some spaces.
I know it's hard to move on if you love someone else in almost a year or if you love someone that you love with all your life. You are the only one that the first I love. You're right. You are my first love. You're the only one who prove to me what love is.
They says that "FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES.." But, I think my first love already died cause of tiredness of loving me..
Anyways, want to hear why I leave? Here~
I leave because, I don't want to push myself again to you. I don't want you to learn to love me again. I don't want you to waist your time to me. And I want is, to spend your time to your truly love. I'm not tired of loving you. I'd never. I just give you a freedom.
I hope this is enough for you. I know this is all you want. And now, I set you free. And I'm so thankful that I have a past like you.. Like a nice guy, sweet guy, You're almost perfect but it's not already perfect when you're not opening your heart.
Sorry for breaking our promises that I won't leave you. I hope, you'll understand my side.
Be happy, okay? That's all I wanted for you. To be happy. I don't want you to looked weak.
I think, this is the end.
Always remember that I LOVE YOU so much and I'm always here for you, no matter what. And I never tired of loving you. I leave because I don't want to push myself into you.
Be open to others. Open your heart and make your hyungs and family proud. Always do a good job, okay? I'm always watching you. I'm your ARMY, right?
Every moment we had, It will treasured in my heart and in my mind.
Don't worry.. There's no any presence of Soyun will appear. And THIS IS WILL BE THE LAST.
Annyeong! Kim Taehyung! Annyeong!
Love,
-최 서연 (Choi So Yun)"
I hold my breathe as a tear roll down on my face.
I cried silently.. I'm so fckng doomed right now.. There's a guilt and regrets in my heart that I shouldn't do that... that I hurt her, always make her cry.
Why now?
I lift up my head when the door of our house opened. All my co-members came with the pity in their faces.
"K-kookie ah.." I called him. He looked at me with anger and madness.
"WHAT?!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!!" He gritted his teeth and clench his fist.
I bit my lower lip, I want to hold my cry. I don't want them to see me regretting everything.
Jungkook hold my shirt up and look at me with his gritted teeth. "YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH SHE SUFFERED JUST FOR YOU!!!"
He punch me. I heard my hyungs panics and quickly get Jungkook away from me.
I deserve more than that.
•••T O B E C O N T I N U E D•••
KYAAAH! How was is it? :D