Fuckin' hell...why do I do this to myself? I ask myself after waking up and feeling that my head is throbbing. I glance round and everyone is still asleep except James who isn't on the sofa so I carefully remove myself from between Connor's arms and go into the kitchen.!
"Morning James..." I say as I yawn.
"Morning!" He replies and he yawns too. "Thanks for making me yawn!"
"That's okay! How long have you been up?"
"Meh about half an hour...maybe a little less...cup of tea?"
"If you insist...but I should be making you tea because this is my house and you're my guest!"
"Oh it's fine I'm more awake than you so it makes more sense for me to make the tea...are the others up?"
"Nah they're still asleep...but my head is killing me!"
"Same here but it'll be fine come lunch time!" James says as he fills the kettle and sets it to boil. "At least I hope it will!"
I laugh and go stand next to him before hoisting myself up onto the counter.
The two of us stay in the kitchen and talk for a while. James makes the teas and he even makes some buttery toast to accompany it! I do notice though that he never mentions anything about us or what's happened the last six months. Me being me I really want to ask but I don't because I know that it would be awkward and bring back awful memories! Plus people always say to live in the now and not in the then...at least I think they do?
Suddenly we hear laughter from the lounge and make our way through to the others who are now all awake.
"Mornin' guys!" James says as he sits on the and gets under guess duvet. He gestures for me to sit next to him under the covers when he notices that I have goosebumps all over my legs. I gladly accept and he pulls the duvet over me.
"Morning..." Tilly groans from Tristan's chest.
"Hangover?" I ask her and she nods as she makes a noise resembling a yes.
"Major!" Tris adds before kissing the top of her head. "But she's still beautiful!"
"Can always rely on you to compliment me the morning after." Tilly says as she hugs him tighter.
"Yeah you can babe don't worry!" Tris cuddles her back and the two look like they've been together forever!
"Ain't they the cutest!" Mil says as she's sat between Brad's legs and messing with his hands.
"Yeah but you two are just as loved up!" Connor replies and Milly's cheeks flush bright red.
"I bloody hope so, fuckin' love this girl!" Brad says as he takes Mil's hands in his and pulls her into a kiss moving his hands to around her waist.
"Well, I need a shower!" Con says sensing the kind of awkward atmosphere that's beginning to linger. "De can I use your shower?"
"Course you can!" I answer and he jumps up and goes into the bathroom.
A few minutes later Connor pokes his head out of the door. "De, how do I work the shower?"
"I'll come show you!" I shout back as I remove the covers and walk through to the bathroom.
I knock on an Connor tells me to come in so I do an he's stood there with a towel wrapped around his hips. I'm not going to lie to you here guys he has a nice body and I find myself staring for a second before I snap out of it.
"Er you just have to turn this to make the water run faster or slower, then turn this one to change the temperature." I say to him and I switch it on for him before walking out. I shut the door and feel that my face is burning.
"You alright De?" Mil asks me as she walks towards me.
"Yeah!" I reply rather lay and she just looks at me before walking into my room.
I go into the lounge and sit next to Brad who smiles at me and wraps me in a blanket.
"You look cold." he says and I smile at him as if to say thanks. When he looks back at the tele I look over at James who looks hurt, emotionally.
When Connor comes out of the shower he goes in my room to change and Brad goes in the shower. However, while she thinks none of us will notice Mil sneaks into the bathroom with just her towel on.
Tilly and Tristan openly go into the bathroom together and yeah we tease them about it but let them go after a while. Connor comes out of my room and goes into the kitchen but on his way he looks at me and jerks his head to tell me to follow him. So I wait a few minutes before going into the kitchen.
"What's up?" I ask Connor who is sat on the counter.
"The ceiling but that's not what I wanted to talk about." Connor answers and I laugh a little. "Do you remember anything about last night?"
"Er I remember poker and truth or dare but other than that no...why?"
"You don't remember anything else?"
"No! Why, did I do something?" Connor rubs the back of his neck and looks at his feet. "Connor come on you can tell me! What the fuck did I do?"
"Ugh Delilah we kissed!" he blurts before dropping his head. "...We made-out."
"Connor..."
"But you know what the worst thing is I enjoyed it...fuck Delilah I enjoyed kissing you..."
"Connor it's...it's okay...nobody else knows and nobody else has to know! Anyways we were drunk and I don't even remember it."
"De that's not the point I don't care if people know...the fact is that I shouldn't have kissed you and then enjoyed it because James still loves you!"
"...James what?.."
"How haven't you noticed? De he is mad about you and I fucking betrayed the bros before hoes rule...not that you're a hoe!"
"You better not be! Anyway Connor just put it out of mind by the next time we meet we'll have forgotten all about it...I know we will." I say this and go into the lounge where everyone now is. Connor hangs back in the kitchen before joining us all with a plate of toast for everyone. At one point I look up at him and he's staring at me but he quickly looks away eating his toast.
The time finally arrives for them to leave so they all grab their suitcases from my room before we all head out to the train station in the boys' car. Upon arriving at the train station we all pile out and go into the main section of Manchester Picadilly station where all the train times are. The boys' train arrives in another fifteen minutes so we sit on the floor near their platform. When the platform opens the boys wait a few more minutes before we all stand up.
"Well guys it's been great to see you!" Tilly says tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Right back at ya'..." Brad says as cheerfully as he can as he looks down at the ground. Tilly hugs James, Mil hugs Tristan and I go to hug Con but when I hold my arms out he takes my hand instead. Connor pulls me to one side where the others can't see us.
"Connor what the..." I begin but am interrupted by his lips meeting mine. My brain tells me to pull away but I don't and just let it happen. Before Con said that he enjoyed it and he was annoyed at himself for it well, now I'm kind of enjoying this one... Connor pulls away and automatically looks as if he regrets doing it.
"I'm sorry...I had to know..." is all he says before he walks back to the others and smiles at Tilly who has just finished saying bye to Brad. Milly has also finished saying bye to Tris and is saying bye to James so I go back to the group, slightly dazed, and hold my arms out to Brad and Tris who both run at me and embrace me with both arms. They crush me a little but I'm okay when they finish.
"I'm going to miss ya' little one!" Tris says. He calls me little one because I'm the smallest of the girls but only by linke an inch.
"I'll miss you too Tris but not for too long; we'll see each other again before you know it!" I reassure him and he smiles at me before I turn to Brad. "Brad..."
"Shut up and hug me!" he says before pulling me into another tight hug. He releases me and turns round to Milly who he hugs and lifts off the ground. Tris is spinning Tilly around in an attempt to cheer her up because she hates being away from Tris for long periods of time. I see Connor dragging his suitcase onto the platform as I go over to James who looks slightly agitated.
"James?" I ask him wandering why he's looking all over the floor as if he's lost something.
"Hello...oh sorry." he answers.
"There's no need to apologise...you lost something?"
"Er no...It's nothing!" I look at James and he's avoiding eye-contact at all cost but I step closer to him and look a him closely.
"James..." cautiously I place my hand on his cheek and he closes his eyes remembering us before he looks me straight in the eye. "I'm not going to say it..." I say as I feel a lump for in my throat and the tears threaten to well up.
"Then don't." when he says this I let out a sigh to help hold the tears back. "I'm not going to say i either because this is the only way I know that we will meet again, and, Delilah, we will meet again!" At this point it doesn't matter how hard I try the tears are guarenteed and to hide them a little more I throw myself at James and hug him tightly while James rests his cheek on my head and hugs me back. I feel him take a deep breath to hold back his tears. While I'm hugging him I see Connor looking back at me on the platform before he turns away and walks further along the platform.
When I pull away I have to walk away because I can't look at him...he loves me and I haven't told him that I'm dating a guy I don't love in that way and I kissed Connor twice...I'm such a bitch. The worst thing is...I still love him...
I look back to where I just came from and see James staring at me tears in his eyes but he turns back and walks onto the platform with Tris and Brad to join Connor. What the fuck do I do now?
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Not again for fuck sake! De and Connor...what's happening there I wander? Hate to be the spoil sport but you'll have to keep reading to find out!
Now guys if you don't already know I've published the first chapter of my new fanfic Just Talking about 5SOS and I also published a short text about the plans for publishing and stuff so I recommend you read that!
Thanks to everyone who ever voted for my fanfic and all of you who vote for every chapter you're the best! It is thanks to you that I continue to publish chapters and that I have begun to write a new fanfic so I hope y'all keep enjoying this one and enjoy my new one!
Love you heaps! Fin!