We let each other go and ran to the livingroom where Benji was. He was crying because he got stuck in the chair with his leg. Omg, how could I let him be alone for that long?! I'm a terrible mom, I can't focus on boys right now! Or uh, men! I have to lay all my focus on my little boy! I hate myself for this.
I was still in those horrible thoughts about what could have happened when I saw Robert comforting Benji. My little boy were smiling through his watery tears looking at Robert who took the back of his hand to wipe the tears of Benjis face.
I just stood there taking in the moment when Robert looked up to me and smiled.
"See his fine, it was just an accident that will not repeat. Right bud?" he said looking down on my son who was chewing on his hand. Benji looked up at Robert and nodded.
I looked at my son seeing him chewing on his hand must only mean one thing: FOOD.
We were sitting at the diner table eating some meatballs and spaghetti, because that's Benjis favorite food. We were eating in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence but we were just enjoying our food. And then Robert spoke up:
"So meatballs uh? It's a swedish food speciality right?" he said by putting two meatballs in his mouth at the same time. Which made Benji laugh.
I smiled at Benji who was still looking at Robert while he was doing some funny faces at my son while eating when I answered him.
"Uh yeah kind of. Maybe not a speciality since I've heard that people in italy also eats it. But I think they call it something else? Oh anyway, almost every kid in Sweden loves meatballs, and so does this little champ." I said nudging Benjis cheek.
"How come you guys moved from Sweden to Los Angeles? I mean, it's a pretty big move." Robert asked.
"Well, when I was 7 my mom passed away and my family was devastated. It took a really long time for us to heal again. I had a rough time in school since my dad wanted to move away from where we lived our lives. He didn't want to be reminded of all the pain that was around us so he decided to move to a bit smaller city up in the north of Sweden. We lived in there for about 9 years. And by that time I had gotten myself a boyfriend, and uh..." I started to look down
"Benjis dad?" Robert asked carefully not wanting to push any wrong buttons.
"Yeah...I don't feel like mentioning his name, because it's still to painful. I can still picture that day when he closed his eyes for good...Eh so... when we met everything was perfect. He was so kind and respectful towards me. We were dating for about 2 years and when I found out I was pregnant, I was so scared that he would be breaking up with me, not wanting to have this child. It was tearing me apart for weeks since I was so scared to tell him. I thought he was going to leave me because even though my age, I couldn't help myself to get an abortion. After a few weeks I grow my "balls" to tell him that I was expecting his child. And for my big luck he was so happy. He actually cried, and I've never seen him cry before. That was the moment when I knew that he was the one. He was the one I was going to marry and grow old with." I said looking at Robert showing a tiny smile.
I continued...