(Honestly, I just want to keep making extra parts to some one-shots I loved because we all need some self-love in our lives, And I'm trying to get into the swing of making myself better and healthier of the mind, What better way than to revisit some of my own favourite one-shots cos I don't have many empty spots left before I start deleting update chapters... And then make more. But honestly like, Read some of my One-shots, Read some others by other people. I'm fucking good at this and I want to make more because I feel like some of the little worlds I've created are brilliant.)
Alex's POV
(6 months Later)
Walking into his old office suite was something I wasn't expecting to have to do at all, I mean at a time, He and I were close friends. I just sort of needed that time to get over myself and my own selfish ways. I might have been cool calm and collected about the situation but honestly. I was still a little cut up about it.
Ryan: "Why is this light on? Wait, Alex?"
Alex: "Hey Ryan."
Looking at the ginormous man in front of me kind of made this slightly harder than it needed to be. Letting out a deep breath I didn't even realise I was holding onto.
Ryan: "You've been gone for months. Wait don't get the wrong idea, I'm happy to see you... But you just kind of vanished."
Alex: "Yeah, I won't lie, That wasn't a good decision for me to make."
Ryan: "Why did you just leave?"
I was about to answer before I heard the Elevator open up to the reception, Hearing her voice cut through was a bit of a shit moment, But I was offered the job back here so I can't really just give up on a sure-fire job you know. I needed the money, I was still talking to Jay and he said he needed help with some things.
Ryan: "Something happened didn't it, Hang on."
As he walked into the room, Cut the blinds and turned the light off, The natural light coming in from the window illuminating the dead room.
Alex: "I..."
He put his finger to his lips quickly, Shutting me up before I sat there for a minute or so before he took his finger away and looked back towards the door.
Ryan: "It was Beth wasn't it?"
Alex: "It wasn't. Not entirely. I just didn't really handle things too well."
Ryan: "Explain what you mean by didn't handle things well?"
Without saying any words, I opened up my bag and just pulled out some paperwork I held onto and needed to show Jay. It wasn't a big thing... Ok to me it wasn't all that bad, But I had no choice but to get him to see it and read it out legally.
Ryan: "And when did this get done?"
Alex: "After what happened at Pax, I ran into Kath and we went and had some lunch as I hadn't eaten. I was glad she didn't mind walking with me, Even if she was in the mood for food or not I enjoyed the company. As we sat down and spoke and introduced ourselves properly. She found out from some people near us about what happened with Lachlan at Hyper."
Ryan: "This is all still fresh in your mind as if it was yesterday hey?"
Alex: "She and I talked about it, And how she tried to tell me the same thing you guys did, That he wasn't in a relationship, But I mean, I was confused and annoyed, to say the least, which is a completely fair thing to think about right? At that moment I felt like I was on the right train of thought. But when I was talking to her I told her how Lachlan and I had met, And she said she remembered that I would come along for dinner or to see Lachlan when he was at the Click house you know."
Ryan: "Who gave you the idea to do this?"
Alex: "Jay did."
Ryan: "He did, He told you to... Why would he do that?"
Alex: "It was the right thing to do trust me. He knows about the situation, He knows about the Anti-Depressants and he knows about the headspace I'm in."
Ryan: "Mate, You shouldn't be here then."
Alex: "I know, He offered me the job and I said yes, I need the money Ryan, Being told by a Shrink that I wasn't fit for work for a while until I get into a better mood at the least, Not as severe a level of depression is a horrible thing."
Ryan: "So..."
Alex: "I stayed in Sydney for a while, Moved in with a friend of mine and mum, The three of us were working together to make it work. Those two handled bills while I just focused on myself. It was a horrible thing to me, Sitting in my room and waiting for something, Willing it to happen and just hope that I'd wake up fine, That something would switch itself off and on again, Try and reboot the system. I was down there for the past 4 and a half months. I wasn't talking to you guys, I didn't message Lachlan or anyone. Jay actually reached out to me, Told me he missed having me around. I thought it was sweet."
He stood there in front of me for a little while before he moved behind me, Put his hands on my shoulders for a few seconds before he leaned down and just kind of awkwardly held me. I couldn't help but chuckle once before I got up out of my chair and let him hug me properly.
Ryan: "Do I get to be cliche?"
Alex: "I can't decide that."
Ryan: "It's good to see you again man, I might not have known you as long as Jay did but you were still an interesting guy to have around."
Alex: "Yeah thanks."
Ryan: "You said you had been down there for 4 and a half months, And Pax was 6 months ago. What have you been doing for the last month and a half?"
Alex: "I've been up here trying to find work, Trying to get myself back together. Literally ran into Tyler, That was an interesting chat."
Ryan: "You ran into the man who is double your height?"
Alex: "Shut up you are taller anyway. But yes, I literally ran into him. I thought he was gonna have a fit but he kind of just freaked for a second and then remembered me as that guy Lachlan likes, That kind of hurt a bit."
Tyler: "I didn't realise at the time, I only knew you by that, Well and Jay's mod but that hasn't happened much lately has it?"
The door was wide open and the guy was leaning against the wood just staring. I let go of Ryan and turned to face the man but he pulled me back closer to him, Just kind of keeping me in his arms. I guess he's had to look after someone in my position before.
Tyler: "I didn't think about what happened, I didn't click in about what happened, Jay filled me in that night and then literally threatened me to tell him where I found you."
Ryan: "Didn't take him long to find you did it?"
Alex: "He found me literally that night. Was walking around the Brisbane CBD just trying to find a cheap hostel for the night or something, I didn't have much money on me."
Ryan: "Did you know he was here?"
Tyler: "Jay filled me in to walk past when I saw the door open."
Alex: "No one has used this room in a while hey?"
Tyler: "It's been a while for sure, Lachlan moved into a bigger suite when Beth started dropping by regularly."
Ryan: "I thought it was her coming up the elevator just then, I'm glad it was you."
Tyler: "She isn't in today, Or at all. She recently moved out of the building, Though I'm sure she will be back one day at least to grab some of her stuff."
Bethany: "Talking about me Tyler?"
As she reared her head around the corner, I could see the smile on her face as she checked out the situation.
Alex: "Hey, Sorry I don't think we have met, My name is..."
Bethany: "You look familiar?"
Alex: "I don't think we have met If we have then maybe not officially?"
Bethany: "Perhaps, Are you taking over?"
Alex: "I think so yeah, I've got a bit of prior experience so when I saw the advert I jumped at it."
Bethany: "Getting a bit close to Ryan don't you think?"
I didn't even realise he had still been holding onto me.
Ryan: "Nothing too major, Showed me some paperwork he has and drew correlations with some people I know."
Bethany: "Uh huh, Right whatever that means."
Tyler: "You grabbing the last of your things?"
Bethany: "Yeah, Thought I'd go ahead and do it now rather than later."
Alex: "I'm glad I got to meet you at least."
Bethany: "Why's that?"
Alex: "It's just common courtesy to see the person who was last in the position I am now in. I think it's just a morality thing for me to be honest."
I heard Ryan snicker hard, Hiding his face in my shoulder while Tyler just let out a shocked gasp as he turned to face away from us. And now that I'm thinking about it... I could probably worded that better.
Tyler: "Nice to see you haven't changed mate."
Alex: "Uh, Definitely changed."
Jay: "Bethany you still here!?"
She turned to face the door and stepped outside, Tyler making a quick turn to see Jay walking up before he flinched, Stepped inside and slammed the door closed. Loud enough to cause both myself and Bethany to yelp a little, Ryan flinched.
Ryan: "Bit fucking hard don't you think?"
Tyler: "Open the window now, Alex get under the desk."
Ryan quickly opened the window before pushing me down to hide under.
Tyler: "Sorry, *Opens the door* I was only going to close it a little but it slammed from the wind."
Jay: "Must have been a fucking strong gust of wind, It's dead out there."
Lachlan: "Sounds more like you shit your pants."
Fuck, Fuck I knew this was going to happen, I know I prepared myself to get ready, I know my psychologist helped me to prepare for this. Dr Ziegler was good like that, Being honest and upfront with me as I told her my plans, My hatred of being at home unable to do anything. But I don't think any level of preparation could get me ready to actually face him. Not after what happened online, The rifts that happened between Jay and most of the boys. Ryan and Tyler staying on the fence but Jay and Lachlan kind of split a bit.
Jay: "Ah, Right...I forgot about that."
Lachlan: "Forgot about what?"
Bethany: "Something going on?"
Jay: "Nah, Just need to set some things up with the guys here, Get it ready and set up."
Tyler: "Come on let's get it done."
Lachlan: "Found someone already? Nice man good on you."
The two of them must have tried to patch things up over time, Would have been nice if he had told me, I was about to move before Ryan took a step closer towards the desk, Blocking me in... I got the idea quick now wasn't the best time to come out.
Bethany: "He's already in there?"
Lachlan: "What? Wait he's already here?"
Bethany: "Yeah, some guy I thought was familiar."
Jay: "You two have never met, I can guarantee you that."
Bethany: "Do you know him?"
Jay: "Yeah quite well actually, And you two had never met trust me. I'll talk to you both another time."
God, I forgot how fucking cute he sounds when he tries to establish dominance. The man is the shortest of the lot of them but the most solid.
Lachlan: "What, No I need to meet the guy who is handling my..."
Jay: "No you won't, You won't be seeing him as you have nothing to do with the job, He's working for me, I'm paying him, You two can go pack her shit."
Lachlan: "Jesus Jay grow the fuck up, We were close 6 months ago you know?"
Jay: "Yeah and look what happened? Take your whore, And fuck off."
Alex: "I'm not ready for this."
Lachlan: "What was... Jay, I'm going to give you five seconds to step the fuck aside."
Jay: "No. For his safety, I can't do that."
Lachlan: "I need you, To move the fuck out of the way, Or I will barge you over."
Jay: "I'll call the police for trespassing. I'm not letting you in there."
Lachlan: "Then when can I?"
Bethany: "This is a fucking scandal holy shit I need popcorn."
Tyler: "There was some down in the vending machine at the entrance."
Bethany: "I'll be back."
Lachlan: "Just head home Beth."
Bethany: "So something is going on here, You all know the guy yeah?"
Ryan: "So does Mitch, So does Kath, So does Grace."
Tyler: "Bethany, With all due respect to you, Right now this is an official hostile environment. And you don't work for us anymore, So legally, I am able to ask you to leave. I'll pack up everything in your office and bring it over later ok?"
Bethany: "I can't go ahead and get it now?"
Tyler: "Not this time, Right now, You can't be here."
Bethany: "Ok, Fuck I'm going. You all have something big to sort out I get it. Nice to meet you, new guy."
Alex: "Yeah."
The longest few seconds of my life, As we all waited for the distinctive sound of the Metal doors opening and closing, A few more seconds before hearing his fucking voice.
Lachlan: "Alex... Can I please see you?"
Jay: "I told you..."
Lachlan: "I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU TOLD ME I NEED TO SEE HIM!"
Jay: "YOU LOST THAT CHANCE WHEN YOU ABANDONED HIM!"
Ryan: "ENOUGH! The both of you, Seriously, Jay you fucking know better and Lachlan you are being an ass. Alex, Do you want to see him?"
I lifted my head up from facing the ground to catch him watching me carefully, Legitimately worried.
Lachlan: "Alex please."
Alex: "Hang on."
I moved out from under the desk and just kind of awkwardly stood up, Moving the chair aside and finally letting me see the situation in front of me. Tyler and Jay still standing in the doorway while Lachlan was just on the other side.
Lachlan: "Alex can I please come in?"
Alex: "Hang on I said, I need to try and think about how I'm going to word this."
Lachlan: "We can take as long as we need to ok?"
Jay: "You don't get too..."
Alex: "Jay please just drop it. I shouldn't have even hidden. I should have just stood up, I should have just stood up and taken the brunt of it."
Tyler: "No you shouldn't have. No one has to go through that again."
Alex: "But if I did, Then maybe..."
Lachlan: "Bethany would have still had been pissed, Jay would still not have let me inside. There was nothing that would have changed."
Alex: "I just. Think I should have handled it better."
I looked up and finally caught his eyes as he stared directly at me, And it was hard. So much has happened in such a short time that it all kind of slid into place properly.
Alex: "Jay can you please let him in, Tyler..."
Tyler: "Yeah I gotcha buddy."
Jay took that one step to the side as Lachlan tried to breach in, Getting stopped by Tyler.
Tyler: "Not so fast mate, Gotta keep the distance a little."
Lachlan: "Everyone knew he was here but me?"
Ryan: "I didn't, I found him not long ago. Just kind of sucks you all came in as well."
Alex: "I've been living with Tyler for a few weeks, He had a couch I could take, And before that, Jay took me in."
Lachlan: "That's why you stopped hanging out with us for a while, Citing "work".
Tyler: "I mean he has been getting money so that's all that matters, I told him he needed to look after himself but he was free to use the couch or the spare room if no one else was over."
Jay: "Do we want to take this somewhere else?"
Alex: "No need, You were all there, You were all aware of the situation, And nothing really got done."
Lachlan: "Things got done, I made sure it was cleared up."
Jay: "Someone didn't get the memo then."
Alex: "I kind of went dark after what happened, That really hurt you know."
Ryan: "I mean you two weren't officially together together."
Tyler: "Not helping Ryan."
Jay: "So, What now?"
Alex: "I need to start doing work, Everyone else out of my office."
Jay: "You don't even know what you are supposed to be doing."
Alex: "Well then get out and let me just fucking breathe yeah?"
It took them a few minutes but they did finally all get out of the room, Lachlan being the last one I saw before he closed the door behind him, My head hurts from all these stupid fucking rumours or facts or whatever it all is. Contradicting stories online, People trying to bring me or the boys down because of it. I left Jay's server and stood down as mod about three weeks after it all happened, Mainly to try and just let myself stop. Turns out he didn't fucking last long anyway, And now I'm sitting here in an office, Owned by these boys, Working on whatever it is I need to work on and I still can't get him out of my fucking head.
Alex: "This was a fucking mistake, I shouldn't have even humoured him."
Why did I bother, I've tried to pull myself out of this, I tried getting to know someone else but I couldn't stop having that blonde haired cunt in my head. Who the fuck gives him the right to put this much of a strain on my conscious mind? On the other hand, I think it was the catalyst that kicked the depression into overdrive. I was always down and unmotivated before that, Long before that, Down on myself for a multitude of reasons and yet still managing the most basic functions, Eat when I feel like it, Sleep when I get tired, Just... Function I guess in a way. But this kind of killed it for good honestly, It kind of just put things into place, or more so perspective.
Lachlan: "Alex can I come in?"
Alex: "Not really."
I'm pretty sure I just said no, But he still opened the door and closed it behind him.
Alex: "So how did you convince Jay to let you in? Or any of the boys?"
Lachlan: "Just was honest."
Alex: "I could have used that before."
Lachlan: "Yeah, I know."
Alex: "You two aren't together, You two have never been together, They said you had been dodging her for a while but she always came back in some way or another, Something always happened to have her come back into your life."
Lachlan: "Are you angry with me?"
Alex: "Yes, I'm angry with all of you. I've already chewed out Tyler last night, And I hit Jay a week ago."
Lachlan: "You what?"
Alex: "I punched him, Nothing was broken."
Lachlan: "Mate you can't fucking do that, Regardless of how you feel."
Alex: "So then why did you and the boys not do anything except verbally tell me that she had been avoided for a while, Not one of you did anything when the pictures would start to come up online, Not one of you said or did anything when you knew how I felt about you, No one tried to settle it no one tried to fix it or get the truth out there. For five months I lost my friends, I lost my mind and I lost you, Lachlan. Everything we had done, Everything we had said or lack thereof. I felt like an idiot you know, I felt like I was crashing a relationship, I felt like I was the whore trying to get in with the partner. I felt disgusted in myself and I hated it because I feel like, Having that happen might not seem like such a big thing to someone else on the outside looking in, But to me. I felt like, I was just a toy. I wasn't even as close to your friends but to you and Jay, I thought we, at the very least, were friends. Close with you, Close with Jay. But you both didn't even message me at all to ask how I was feeling or to tell me not to worry. You both let it run, Let the people think you finally had a girlfriend in the public eye. But you didn't and even when Kath told me that nothing was going on, I had to keep quiet, I had to stay by myself and just try to move on."
Lachlan: "Alex..."
Alex: "There weren't any indications, That you were seeing someone else, There weren't any indications that you were interested in anyone else. You would always be close to me, Invite me out. Hell, when we went for dinner with the Click crew you offered to pay because, And I quote, "I know you don't get paid till tomorrow but I want to see you." You have to understand that isn't something I can just sweep under the rug, After well over a year of just, Everything that happened. Maybe we weren't supposed to actually be together, And I'm glad we had this talk. I'm going to head out for a bit, I need to get something to eat."
I think, Aside from finally voicing all of these concerns I had in my head, Finally talking about all the issues running in my mind, And then slowly but surely figuring it out on my own, I think I was finally onto something for myself. A way to get me away from it all after the pieces began to slot together in my mind. But honestly, Even after all this time, Even after everything that happened. I knew for a fact that what I said was true. I knew what I said about him and his friends that everything was right, That they probably didn't care, That I might have likely just been a toy in his game. I hated everything I became after that, How down I was because of this, Regardless of whether it was what triggered it or not. Honestly, I think the worst part was the fact that neither Lachlan, Nor Jay, Nor Tyler, But Ryan, Tried to stop me Before he decided to come for a walk.
Alex: "I'm such an idiot."
Ryan: "I don't think so."
Alex: "You have to say that though, They are your friends."
Ryan: "Not really, I'm more just a camera guy for Lachlan, When not recording public shot videos, I don't really have all that much to do with him, And I only remembered you because Jay was still pissed at him and Beth."
Alex: "Who aren't together."
Ryan: "But got together, Lachlan wanted to keep up appearances while Jay and even Mitch told him he was a fucking idiot."
Alex: "Is this supposed to make me feel better?"
Ryan: "A beer will."
Alex: "It's 9 am."
Ryan: "And?"
Alex: "A beer is always better in the morning. Look Ryan It's not that I'm mad you walked with me, I get that, But A little part of me was hoping to get time to myself you know?"
Ryan: "Sorry mate, Can't do that, Once you get lost in your head it's fucking game over. The last thing you want to be When you are upset or angry or something, Is alone."