My amazingly talented friend Pengi11 and I have this game where we both put in one story idea and we both have to write it. This one is her prompt. I'm so excited for this game! Are you guys ready?
STORYTIME!
Patton was in a tough bind. Yes, that was a pun considering he wears a chest binder since he's trans. Or is he? Ever since he met hsinother two college roommates that are sharing the apartment with him and Logan, he wasn't so sure. Patton never had severe dysphoria like Virgil did with transitioning to become Non-Binary. Virgil had chest surgery and had their bottom parts completely removed. The worst dysphoria Patton ever had was havin go too big of a chest. He doesn't mind his lower half and is perfectly fine as long as he's binded. What if this is all fake? What if he's been lying? What if he really isn't trans?
Patton hugged a pillow close to his body and sat in the room he shared with Logan. The way the apartment worked is that there was two bedrooms, a living area with a kitchen and dinning area attatched, three bathrooms scattered within the three previously stated areas, and a shared balcony off the living area. Patton had his knees bent upwards and his back kept the door closed. He wasn't wearing his binder, and he hated it. He hated his chest. His brain was screaming at him to put it on, but his heart was too confused to listen. He jumped when there was a knock at the door.
"Patton? You've been in there far too long to be normal. Please let me in."
Logan. His boyfriend. The man who has been with him through absolutely everything that has ever happened to him sicne eighth grade. Patton whimpered to himself. Should he let him in? Sipuld he block him out? Patton couldn't bring himself to do so. He didn't have the time to put on his binder, then why even bother with a shirt? Patton just hugged the pillow close to his chest and opened the door. There he was. His eyes instantly dragged down to his chest. The idea must have clicked quickly in his head, because the one word he said next explained exactly what Patton was going through.
"Dysphoria?"
Patton nodded weakly, fighting back the powerful urge to break down in tears. Stupid female body. Stupid doubt. Stupid insecurities. Of course he's a boy! ...right? Patton was so confused and unsure. He was going through the "am I really gay?" Phase but the Trans version. Patton stepped back and Logan closed the door behind him, pressing his own back against it to prevent any unwanted visitors walking in on the two of them. The two clearly need to have a talk to put Patton's mind at rest.
"Logan... what if I've just been lying to myself? What if I'm not a boy and I'm just... messing around with my mind? You won't like me because I'm not a boy and everyone will get mad because I lied to them. Am I a boy, Logan? Am I a boy if I don't have lower half dysphoria like Virgil did?"
There it was. The elephant in the room. That was something Logan was really appreciative of. Patton doesn't play hints. He tells the problem as it is and it helps Logan objectively and logically find a solution to help his lover. Logan listened to Patton's nonsense with a prominent frown on his face. Patton was a boy. He didn't have to have lower body dysphoria to be a boy. He has upper dysphoria and he even had his brain scanned and matched in an attempt to appease his family which only was half successful. 98% match and he got his father's support. Logan clicked his tongue, trying to figure out what words to say for comfort. He never really was good about dealing with emotions.
"So even after the brain scan, your unbearable upper half dysphoria, dealing with endless transphobia throughout the duration of Highschool, and buying yourself hormones that you've stsrted on a month ago, you believe you're not s boy just because you don't have lower body dysphoria? Preposterous. Patton, you've experienced so much and your gender identity was something you were so confident in, regardless of how you feel about what's in between your legs. Don't think about Virgil for a moment. They have nothing to do with you. Deep down in your heart, what are you?"
Patton closed his eyes, trying to find whatever his heart was telling him. His heart was being swayed with Logan's words, being enlightened out of the confusion tornado that struck. Logan was right. He's been through so much just to figure out who he was. He was proud of being who he was. He has a chest binder, hormones, a brain scan, and has an appointment to fix his top for good in a year or less. He was finally going to live in a body he loved and felt like himself in. His heart was sure again. Patton was a boy.
"I'm a Boy."
Logan nodded, feeling a phantom smile tug at the corner of his lips. At least, Patton was sure and happy again. It's such a relief to see him smile and feel comfortable in his own skin again. Logan looked around the room. Patton still wasn't wearing his chest binder. That would drive him mad soon. Where was that pesky little doodad? Ah, on the dresser. Logan walked over and took it, brining it back over to his boyfriend. While he was figuring out how to put that back on around his chest to make him flat again, Logan picked up a yellow shirt with a smiley face in the middle. He handed that to Patton too, which he graciously put it on.
"Now, shall we? I want to take my boyfriend on a date."
Yeah, a date sounds nice and uplifting. Patton stood up and held the door open for his boyfriend, like a gentleman. Logan nods and walks through, waiting on Patton to close the door behind him. Logan reached out his hand and Patton took it. Is this me? Yes. This was him. Patton was 100% a boy. He knew that for certain. And nothing will ever change who he is.
1051 Words
Yuck. This should be better if it's going to be for the game. This is stupidly short. I'm sorry, I'm unfamiliar with how dysphoria really feels like so I had trouble describing it. I know it isn't pleasant and I hope anyone struggling with body ysphria finds a way to be better.
If someone's a boy, they're a boy. If someone's a girl, they're a girl. If someone's both or neither, that's what they are. Accept them, love them, and let them be them. It's that simple.
Internet hugs and blow kisses!
~Eva