They said it. The confession Blue was not ready to make seemed perfect to say in the moment because it was honest and true. With that being what they wanted to hear from Andrew, they knew they had to tell him. Maybe that little bit of reassurance would allow him to open up to them and be vulnerable. As long as he was in their presence, he would never have to cover up himself. They wanted to be the person who could read him so well they would be able to hand him a tissue before he felt the need to sneeze.
Based on the way Andrew smiled at them, they knew it was the right thing to say. "I'm so happy right now," he murmured, a couple tears poking at his own eyes. "I never thought I'd live to see the day."
"You didn't think I would fall for you?"
"Not so soon." Sitting on the couch, he sat Blue on his lap. "I thought it would be a while. You told me you were afraid I was still in love with Luke, but I'm not. I'm falling in love with you, too."
"It's not that I am, it's just that I think I am," they shyly mumbled.
"Ah, but that still means you are the road to loving me, isn't that right?" he teased, nuzzling his nose in their neck. "Maybe you already do love me. Do you?"
"Maybe," they murmured.
"Do you want to be with anyone else but me right now?"
"No...Do you?"
"Not in the slightest," he stated passionately as he planted his lips on theirs. They wrapped their arms around his neck, pulling him in close as they licked his lips. Opening his mouth, Andrew stood up, and Blue wrapped their legs around his waist. He carried Blue to the bedroom, threw them on the mattress, and slammed the door shut.
^^^
"Oh, my gosh," Andrew mumbled under his breath. Blue blinked their eyes open, surprised to find Andrew awake before them. But when they glanced at the alarm clock on the side table, they knew he wanted them to sleep in again. It was eight forty in the morning, and he was supposed to be asleep for another twenty minutes. But his phone was pressed to his cheek, and he was staring at the door in shock.
"Yeah, that's great," he stoically responded. Glancing at Blue beside them, he shook his head softly as they stared up at him quizzically. "See you soon." He hung up the phone.
Blue assumed he would tell them the news. Instead, he crawled back under the covers and pulled them in close, kissing behind their ear. "Go back to sleep. It's the weekend."
"You're always up at nine. What was that phone call about? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," he mumbled into their hair. "I've been nominated for a Lambda Literary Award."
"What?" Blue rejoiced as they shot up out of his arms, smiling down at him in awe. "You won?"
"Nominated," he chuckled. "I won't know for a couple of weeks if I won or not."
"Andrew, that's incredible. I...I-I don't know what kind of reward that is, but still...just...wow," they exhaled. "That's amazing."
"Yeah." Nudging them by the arm, he attempted to coax them to lay back down with him. "Just sleep some more. I'll make breakfast."
"Okay," Blue groaned as they watched him crawl out of bed, "why aren't you more excited?" They sat up on the bed, the blanket falling onto the floor. "This is a big deal. You were nominated- Don't walk away from me, mister," they complained as they followed him into the kitchen. "You should be excited."
"I am excited," he shrugged. Taking a bowl out of the cupboard, he asked, "Is cereal good? Maybe some oatmeal?"
"Maybe you should be more excited about being nominated for a book award. Unless there's a reason not to be." They gasped. "Is this the equivalent of a Razzie award? Oh, Andrew-"
"No, no," he chuckled. "It's an LGBT book award."
"You write about the LGBT community?"
"Yeah. Didn't you read the book?"
"Which one?"
"Blue Moon." It was his most recent book, published six months ago.
"Kinda," they dragged out. "It...it was more like I got ten pages in before I fell asleep and then woke up almost late for a concert."
"See," he exclaimed. "I told you. You are stressing yourself out with your school and music work. You need to take a vacation. Isn't there one coming up?"
"Labor Day Weekend?" they pondered. "I think I have four shows in three days-"
"Blue-"
"Take better care of yourself. I know, I know." They groaned, slumping onto a kitchen stool. "I just...I need the work."
"I know."
"This is my career we're talking about. I need to- Wait a minute," they snapped. "We are talking about you, not me-"
"But we should be-"
"Excuse you," they sassed, "but I was not done talking. Now tell me why you are not more excited about this book award. It's a big deal, right?"
"Yeah. So?"
"So?" they mocked. "Be excited, you dumbass! I don't care if this is your millionth award. You should still be excited and grateful that you even got one. Be excited!"
"Over the fact that I'm not going to win?"
His tone was not harsh, gentle and timid in fact. Yet the impact hit them strong, an unsettling feeling pitting in their gut. Blue watched him grip the counter, his back turned to them as he mumbled under his breath, counting to ten. It broke their heart, but they weren't sure if approaching him and holding him would be the right way to go about comforting him. They sat still, silent as they watched, waiting for any signs that he may need help.
When he finally did turn to face them, his face was once again calm and sturdy. He looked the same way he always did. Blank. "I've read all the competitor's books. They're all incredible and deserve to win more than my book does. If my book won, I'd be robbing any one of them of a victory they deserve."
"Why don't you feel you deserve it?" they questioned, slipping off the stool.
"I was moved to tears by their work. It was beautiful. Everything about it was beautiful, and if I won...it wouldn't be right."
"Andrew," they cooed. Walking up to him, they wrapped their arms around his neck, burying his face in their shoulder as they ran their fingers through his hair. "You deserve to win. Your book was nominated for a reason. You should be allowed the chance to win fair and square like everyone else. Your book is amazing."
"You didn't even read it."
"But you wrote it," they stated. "I may have only read, like, two of your novels, but I've read your magazine articles and parts of your...boys love novels," they grumbled, earning a chuckle from him. "Your writing is beautiful. I love it so much. You deserve to win just as much as any of those other authors."
Andrew leaned in, kissing the top of their head. "You should eat something before you head out. You're meeting with Rain today, right?" he questioned as he turned back to his bowl of dry cereal.
^^^
"How has the reading been going?" Aiden questioned as he flopped down onto the couch next to Blue.
They lowered the book slowly, glaring in his direction. "It would be better if you shut up."
Aiden playfully winced. "That hurt." Snatching the book from their hands, he threw it on the coffee table. "Take a break. Clear your mind for a moment."
"I don't remember what page I was on," they deadpanned. "You couldn't have bookmarked it?"
"Blue," he groaned, laying his head down in their lap, "entertain me. Why are you even reading those books?"
"Because they're up for the same literary award as Andrew, and he doesn't think he deserves to win. So with our uneventful weekend, God bless Rain for being with her family and Andrew out of town for a business meeting, I've been reading them all so I can see which one I would want to win."
"And do you think his could win?"
"Any one of them could win," they scoffed. "They're beautiful, funny, heartfelt. I could write a million songs based on all these books alone."
"Yeah, but...Andrew's in particular. Could he win?"
"I haven't read that much of it yet, which I am currently blaming you for," they teased, "but so far...I'm speechless. It's deep...riveting...I can't put it into words. It's just...deep."
"You said that." He smirked. "So what are you going to get him?"
"Get him?"
"You know," he grunted as he sat up, "a gift to congratulate him. What are you going to get him?"
"Reassurance?" they suggested as they held up his book.
"No," Aiden deadpanned. "Why not give him yourself?"
"Myself?"
"He writes those boys love novels, right?"
"Yeah. They're his fantasies or some shit." Blue paled, staring into Aiden's hopeful eyes in a panic. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No! No way. That stuff is nasty as hell. I am not doing shit for him."
"Imagine how happy it would make him."
"Why should I sacrifice my comfort zone just to make another person happy? I don't mind pushing the boundaries a little bit, but what I would be doing...it would make a mockery of my character. I wouldn't ask him to do that for me. Why should I do it for him?" they snapped.
Aiden shrugged. "To make him happy."
"You're pathetic," they snarled.
"Okay, but why not give him yourself."
"He already has me," they deadpanned.
"Yeah...but make it sexy. I know what you can do with-"
"We agreed to never bring that up again," they gritted, slapping him on the shoulder. "Respect the Bro-Code."
"Sorry. Sorry," he laughed. "But why not? He loves you, right?"
"It's not just about myself or himself anymore. I can't be looking to do something out of my own interest, I have to think about him now as well, and he has to do the same for me. That is how a relationship is supposed to work. I don't mind going out of my way to think about him as well, but I will not sacrifice myself, nor my comfort, for him, alright?"
Aiden nodded.
"Now, if we're not going to rehears, I'm going home to finish this book before he comes back from his business trip," Blue stated.
Groaning, Aiden ran his fingers over his face before he stood up. "You know I love you, right?"
Smiling back at him, they nodded. "I know. You could never be a bother to me for too long."
^^^
There was a feeling in Blue's heart they weren't accustomed to experiencing. Emptiness, yet of a different nature. One that came when an incredible book ended, one where there was nothing left but a hollow shell over there being no next chapter or next page. The book was over. A beautiful book, sure, but one they wanted to continue forever and ever.
How could Andrew think his book is not worthy enough to win? Blue pondered. Such raw intensity, one with an ending not many romances seemed to obtain. One where two characters were meant to fall in love but not end up together. An ending so few people had attempted, and one even fewer could pull off.
They had to make him understand that they were proud of him, how no matter the outcome, Andrew wrote a book that would change lives, including their own. Boy falls in love with another boy, and vice versa. The two are in love, but due to realistic conflictions and dreams, they grow apart and end up with someone else, their actual "soulmate."
The whole book caused Blue to wonder if it was true, that someone who was in love with someone else for so long could slowly grow out of love with them and fall for someone new. It happened to them as well as Andrew. And the fact that the book was titled "Blue Moon" almost seemed too on the nose for their liking. The book was inspired by them.
Somehow, in the year that they had truly gotten to know Andrew, and the nine months since the kiss, he wrote a book, published it, and it was about them. They could not help but admire the passion that must had gone into the book. It was no wonder it was so brilliantly written, as it must have come from a strong place of care and honesty, where he dedicated all his time to. They were touched.
Aiden's suggestion for a gift popped back into their head. If Andrew wrote such an enticing tale about his romance for everyone to fall in love with, surely his fantasies of business and pleasure would be something they could do in order to congratulate him on his nomination. He made them feel warm without his knowledge, and they now wanted to make him feel hot.
Andy grabbed Blu by the hair...
...thrusted his fingers...
...straight in the ass.
Pounding the living daylight...
...moans of fiery pleasure...
...cocked...
...loaded...
...mouth...
"Hell no!" they screamed as they chucked the book across the living room. Surely there was another way to praise him for a job well done.
The book bounced off the door as it opened, flopping open to a random page as it hit the ground. Andrew stared at the book wide eyed and up at Blue in exhausted fury. "Are you serious right now?"
"I didn't know you were going to open the door right then and there," they angrily defended.
Sighing, Andrew leaned over to pick up the book, causing Blue to blush as they stared at his butt, the same butt he wanted disgusting stuff done to. They shuddered at the thought.
"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't toss my books around vicariously," he stated in passive aggression as he slid the book back onto the shelf.
"Sorry," they mumbled, folding their arms across their chest.
Glancing at him under their lashes, Blue watched him plop down on the couch, propping his feet up on the table. He threw his head back, pinching his nose to rub away a forming headache. Long flights were rough, especially ones with plenty of turbulence and crying children. He was thrilled to be home where it was quiet, but he instead had to be greeted with a book targeted at his face.
"Rough weekend?" they murmured as they stepped over to behind the couch.
"Yeah," he whispered.
Risking a chance, Blue placed their fingers on his shoulders, massaging him gently. He moaned, lolling his head forward so they could gain better access. Smiling in relief, they sat on the back of the couch and dug their fingers into his neck. They wanted to make his life less stressful in any way they could, as he always did the same for them, but they would have hated to impose while he was already tired and frustrated.
"Thank you," he hummed.
Seeing it as an opportunity, Blue crawled over the back of the couch as they continued their massaging. Inching down to the nape of his neck, they pressed a soft kiss to his skin. He gasped, surprised they took initiative. He was the one to always take charge. In no way was he complaining, though a part of him was worried and concerned over Blue's well-being, almost afraid they had done something upsetting while he was away.
"Blue?" he asked, struggling through the moan he tried to surpass.
"Yes?" they questioned, continuing kissing up his neck to the back of his ear, gently blowing on the lobe.
"Why are you doing this?"
"I wanted to congratulate you on your nomination," they murmured in his ear, using their forefinger to guide his chin so they could gaze into his eyes. "Your book was amazing," they added before kissing his lips delicately. Pulling them to straddle his lap, he groaned as they thrusted forward, igniting him. "Let's take this to the bedroom," they smirked, leaning in to kiss him.
Despite the pleasure of the kiss, Andrew pulled away. "No, Blue-"
"Shit, did I do this wrong?" they panicked. "Dammit, I knew I couldn't be streamy like the books," they personally scolded as they climbed off his lap and scuttled to the kitchen.
"No, Blue, it's not- Did you say my books?" he questioned. "What books? I never wrote something like this."
"It was the setup to one of your boys love novels or whatever," they grumbled as they pulled a drink out of the fridge.
"And you chose to do that...because?"
"You write out your fantasies. Isn't that what you wanted?" they mocked.
"I have never thought about actually doing anything I wrote before, though I certainly wouldn't mind if it was with you," he smirked.
"Did you not see me throw your book across the room?" they bit. "And were you not the one who just stopped it?"
"Blue-"
"Weren't you?"
"Because I don't want you to feel like you need to give me sex as a prize for winning a stupid nomination," he explained. "I love having sex with you, because it is something I do with the person I love. It shouldn't be about a present or some shit."
"But it can be," Blue emphasized as they slammed their cup on the counter. "Andrew, face it, your book was incredible. It made me laugh, cry, and feel things I had never felt before. You wrote a book about falling out of love with Luke and in love with me, didn't you?"
He didn't say anything.
"I've read one of your romance novels before. It did not obtain the same raw passion as "Blue Moon." This book was real, and you clearly spent a long time on it to make it beautiful, because it was about us, didn't you?" they questioned, pleading for the answer.
Slowly, he nodded. Walking up to Blue, he took their hands in his. "I did," he agreed. He gazed into their eyes, running his hand through their hair. "If you are in it, I will treat it with as much love and care as possible, because you are the only one I ever want to treat in such a way. I love you, Blue."
"I-"
A ring. One from the landline planted on the wall. Andrew knew what Blue was going to say, and he wanted to hear it, but Blue knew it was no longer the right moment. Claiming to love him as a phone rang was not the way he deserved to hear it. And right after would be the same. Once the call ended, they intended to kiss him and drag him to the bedroom where they would tell him after sex, but the moment was long gone as Andrew glanced at them from over his shoulder.
"Blue, can you go up to your room for a minute?" he questioned, leaving no room for discussion.
Normally they would have wanted to stay, make sure he was alright based on his frazzled expression and tired eyes, but they knew it was serious if he was silently begging for them to oblige. They couldn't find a reason to argue, resulting in them pacing in panicked strides across the bedroom carpet.
When he finally knocked on their bedroom door, Blue asked, "Well...what happened? Is everything okay?"
"That was your brother," he stated. "He's moving back to Chicago."
"Already?" they questioned. "He just moved out to-"
"He wants you to move back in with him."
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