A/N: I know this isn't the really long Jinyoung one that you guys wanted but it's on the way I'm almost at the end of it and give me a few more days to finish it up and I've invested a lot in it so I hope you guys enjoy it! But in the meantime here's a pretty long Mark one that I actually really liked writing!
And as promised: here's my writing playlist, since I use Spotify a lot, the link I'm putting here is on Spotify so for any of you guys using the same music streaming app, there's a little insight to my brain when I'm writing. For those of you who don't have Spotify, if there's enough people that want it, I'll make one on YouTube too!
https://open.spotify.com/user/12186955887/playlist/0PtBXlZ7oiZCLGXXDBQp2H?si=UAFj-CqkQTiUceBlMXhqcg
Q: Favourite and least favourite GOT7 era?
A: Favorite is definitely either 'If You Do' era or 'Miracle' era based on just title tracks and concepts alone. As for least favorite, it's really hard but I would probably say 'Stop Stop It'? It's not that I don't like the song or anything, it's just... the hair guys, I mean the hair...
(Drop me any questions you want me to answer: KPOP, life, preferences etc)
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Epilogue
"I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up," he said.
"And it is my privilege and my responsibility to ride all the way up with you," I replied.
-The Fault In Our Stars
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'I'm on the way home don't worry,' you soothed over the phone, (E/C) still focused on the road ahead, although there were barely any cars visible .
'I feel terrible for not picking you up ugh,' Mark groaned over the phone and if you closed your eyes, you could almost imagine him pacing around the living room, waiting impatiently for you to get home.
'Pffft, you don't think I can drive Mark Tuan?" you laughed. 'Besides,' you reassured in your softest tone. 'You were busy I understand, okay? You need rest, you're exerting yourself way too much for your comeback,' this time it was your turn to be worried.
'Still, it's nearly midnight out there,' he protested.
'And I can take care of myself,' you replied. 'Now, if you want me to get back home earlier, then let me drive love,' you laughed, waving away his worried protests. 'I'll be fine,' you stated with a hint of exasperation. 'I love you okay? I'll be home soon,' you grinned, before putting down the phone and cutting his sigh short.
As exasperated as you might be of Mark's occasional over-protectiveness, you were still touched by how concerned he was.
Everything's going to be fine you consoled yourself, with a small laugh. What in the world could go wrong?
Ironically, that was one of the last thoughts that ran through your mind before headlights flashed from the intersection on your left as another car that was obviously going at way way faster than the determined speed limit, barreled towards you like an out of control animal. You couldn't differentiate the difference between your screams and the screams of metal tearing against metal as the vehicle plowed into you. Shards of glass broke apart slicing into the back of your head, your legs, your arms which, despite how disorientated you were, had the sense to lift to protect your face. But the rivulets of blood didn't bother you, until you felt the shard of metal pierce through your lower back, the pain unbearable, as if someone had taken a white-hot blade and shoved it into you. The heat travelled up your spinal cord, like electricity, reaching your brain where you held on to consciousness for all of 2 minutes before thankfully, your body was no longer connected to your mind, sweet empty blackness enveloping you in its inky arms.
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Mark's POV
Mark absentmindedly stroked Coco, as she wriggled on his lap, clearly still restless, like him was waiting for (Y/N) to come home.
You're overthinking. She said she would be back soon right? It's only been 2 minutes since she hung up don't freak out.
At least that's what he was trying to convince himself of. The rest of the members were still awake, Youngjae facing his laptop screen, fingers flying on the keyboard and mouse as he battled in his digital pixelated world, JB leaning back and listening to their latest title track, tweaking certain notes here and there, Yugyeom and Bam Bam were on their phones lost to the world, Jinyoung reading a book late into the night and Jackson was in the kitchen making some organic green tea late night drink which he claimed had incredible health properties.
That was when the peace was shattered by their house phone ringing shrilly demanding to be answered. JB who was the nearest, lifted his eyebrows in surprise, barely anyone called them through their house number, they usually just called them straight through their phones. Pausing the song, he reached out for the phone and it was clear that it was something important because his back suddenly straightened and his formerly sleepy eyes grew bright with a hint of worry.
'Um Mark,' he muttered, 'I think it's better if you handle this,' he said tight-lipped as he handed the cordless phone to the eldest member, before making a move to the kitchen to talk to Jackson.
'Hello?' he asked, wondering who in the world wanted to speak to him at nearly 1 in the morning.
'Are you Mark Tuan?' a cool female voice on the other side of the phone asked.
'That's me,' he confirmed. 'Who wants to know?'
'Ummm, it's just you were listed as (L/N Y/N)'s emergency contact?' she asked as if hesitant.
'Yes, what's wrong with her?' he asked, his voice rising with worry.
'Please sir we need you to take this calmly but (Y/N)'s been in a bit of an accident and we need someone to come in and sign her particulars for her,' she explained as slowly as she could.
A tap behind Mark's shoulder, showed a grim Jackson and JB behind him. Jackson's hand was outstretched, clearly wanting the phone. 'I'll take that,' he said softly and Mark saw a rare of glimpse of Jackson's vulnerability break through the cheerful joking facade he wore like a mask.
'S-sure,' Mark stammered his suddenly clammy hands pressing the phone into Jackson's which he noticed were shaking.
Of course Jackson would want to know, he was (Y/N)'s older brother after all and was fiercely overprotective of her.
'Hello?' he asked his usually husky voice wobbling a bit at the end as he attempted to calm himself down.
Stumbling in a haze, Mark grabbed the dorm card key, and a light jacket slipping his feet into sneakers and was about to leave when a hand stopped him.
'Don't,' JB said shaking his head.
'It's (Y/N),' he said pleadingly, wishing he could convey the feeling of utter panic and desperation to his leader.
'I know, you think I don't care for her as much as you do?' he asked softly but sternly. 'But rushing into things isn't going to help, let Jackson get the information he needs and then we can go see her,' he said firmly, which left no room for negotiation.
'I hope you're right,' Mark sighed, heading back to the living room where all activity had stopped, the rest of the members must have caught on with the tension in the room. Jackson was scrawling something on a piece of paper, his lips moving but Mark couldn't hear the words that he was saying. It was like someone had stuffed his head full of cotton wool, the world was blurry and nothing mattered. All that was mattered was her. He needed to see her before the worry and anxiety ate away at him like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode. He put his head in his hands, gripping his blonde hair tightly in his fists, as if the pain would help him concentrate.
Let her be alright, please
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Your POV
The light is blinding. Painful. Bright. Sharp. It hurts despite your closed eyelids. You struggle to go back to the empty spot in your head where you could feel nothing, but whatever the doctors had injected you with brought you back to reality with an almost painful force.
Cracking open your eyes, the bright light dimmed, they must have sensed your discomfort. You heard the whispers of voices around you, one which was unfamiliar, the other, you probably could have recognised even if you were dead. Your brother's husky voice reverberated through the room although he was attempting to be silent, you could still catch the whispered phrases.
'Lower back... pierced through... I can't guarantee,' a middle aged man was describing solemnly to a husky voice that could only belong to your brother.
'... permanent?' was all you heard in reply.
Your heart rate must have sped up at their words or you must have had some form of physical reaction because the heart monitor beside you beeped shrilly, shaking the two men out of their serious conversation, both attentions 100% focused on you know.
'(Y/N)?' you heard your brother ask, taking your hand which was icy cold and you felt him shiver at the touch, as if you were already dead.
'Mmmm,' you muttered, wincing as your vocal cords strained to work after hours of not talking. You cleared your throat and tried again, but your voice still came out low and hoarse.
'What happened? I remember the truck, the lights and then...' you trailed off, forehead wrinkled in confusion.
Jackson's concerned face contorted into something darker, his jaw clenched when you mentioned the accident.
'You got hit, by a drunk driver on the way home,' the doctor explained in a soothing tone, seeing that Jackson was in no condition to elaborate anything, he looked as if he would explode if he opened his mouth.
'And?' you asked, stuck between wanting to know and dreading to find out.
'A few scrapes and bruises, good thing, you kept your arms over your face, or else you would be scarred for life,' Jackson said, trying to inject some cheerfulness in his voice. That was your brother. He could probably see the silver lining in a solar eclipse.
'And?' you insisted, knowing that he hadn't old you the worst yet, he had a nervous habit of running a hand through his hair or scratching his neck when he was lying or keeping something from someone and since he was going it both now, you knew that something was up.
'That can wait for later,' he replied sternly. 'Now you need to focus on your recovery,' he insisted.
'Jackson,' you said in a dangerous voice.
'Fine,' he huffed. 'A piece of the metal...it broke off and,' he gulped unable to continue the sentence.
'It pierced your lower back, severing your spinal cord. Fortunately, it only affected your lower body, everything from the waist above will still function but I'm sorry, you're paralyzed from the waist down,' the doctor said softly, like comforting a child.
Jackson squeezed your hand, lending you strength as it took you time to digest the enormity as you watched your entire life be impacted by your condition.
Your throat felt tight with tears and it must have shown because the doctor hastily excused himself, closing the door allowing you some privacy with your brother.
'Do the rest know?' you choked out, tears already pooling in your eyes, threatening to spill over.
He shook his head. 'They didn't allow them in. Family only,' he informed.
'Ask them to go home, I don't want them to see me like this, especially not...,' you muttered, trailing off, his name hanging from your lips.
'Of course,' he said, sitting down next to you, your hand still in his. This was one of the times when you were grateful that Jackson was your brother, sure he was loud and annoying sometimes but blood called out to blood and he stayed the entire night with you, not sleeping as you cried and cried and cried.
Next Week
'You know,' Jinyoung said, putting down a plastic container full of rice cakes slathered in spicy sauce on your bedside table. 'It's getting kind of tiring to distract Mark, also, that CANNOT be good for you recovery,' he said his nose wrinkled slightly as he fed you some of the food, with a plastic spoon since your hands were pierced with so many needles and tubes, you could barely move them, even an inch in any direction. The members had come in rotation, everyday taking care of you, feeding you and just giving you some company.
All except one of course.
'I can't let him see me like this,' you said, the rice cake which you were chewing suddenly tasting like sand in your mouth.
'Do you know how he worried he is (Y/N)?' Jinyoung asked. 'If we didn't tie his hands and legs down I think he would have walked from the dorm to see you. As it is, our manager is giving him so much work, he doesn't have the chance to even slip out of the building.'
'You think I don't know that?' you glared at Jinyoung, your best friend since college. 'You guys don't get it,' you sighed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of your face. 'If he comes and looks at what I AM now, do you honestly still think he's going to want me?' you asked, looking at Jinyoung straight in the eye.
'That,' Jinyoung replied, absolutely shocked. 'Is one of the most stupid reasons I have heard in my 23 years of life and I LIVE with Bam Bam and Yugyeom,'
'Mark is going to love you in whatever condition you're in (Y/N), do you honestly think even for a second he's going to leave you because of what you are?' he asked, his tone serious. 'If you do, you're clearly underestimating how much he loves you,' Jinyoung shook his head, still unable to process your reasoning.
You shrugged your shoulders, looking out the window, wondering what your boyfriend was doing right now and despite your insistence that he not come, his absence still stung.
Next Two Weeks
You were helped out of bed by Jackson and you gritted your teeth, the feeling of powerlessness was maddening. The members rushed around, helping you pack your few scattered belongings, and all you could do was sit down in your newly paid for, shiny wheel chair, arms-crossed and unable to lift a finger to help. Whenever you tried, you were constantly forced back down by Jackson or overridden by the others.
'It's fine,' Jinyoung said as he swept up the collection of books you had asked him to bring for you during your stay.
'You still need to recover,' JB chastised you as he took your personal belonging, stuffing them in your handbag.
'Being Jackson's little sister makes you ours too,' Bam Bam said as he patted your hand which was gripped so tightly on the armrests they were turning bone-white.
Of course among the flurry of movement, as always there was one person missing, not because he wanted to but because he was asked to.
'Are we going home?' you asked your brother as he wheeled you out of the hospital room and hopefully this would be the last time you saw it.
'Yeah,' he replied being careful not to jostle you, as he made his way back to the car, the members trailing behind. When you reached the car, supporting you with one hand, opening the car door with the other and gently lifted you inside, making sure you were comfortable, in the front passenger seat while the rest of the members piled in, the metal wheelchair glimmering int he back and you sensed it out of the corner of your eyes like some sort of demonic apparition.
'It's good to have you back (Y/N),' Yugyeom sighed stretching in his seat, nearly hitting his best friend in the face as he did so.
'Thanks Yugs,' you smiled softly although your hands were clammy and sweaty. The last time you had gotten into an automobile, things didn't turn out so well for you. You wondered if the memory would forever be branded in your mind and if you would ever feel safe in a car again.
The ride home was silent, most of the boys catching some much needed rest. Seeing their sleeping faces another twinge of guilt ate away at you. They had been so busy for their current comeback and you just had to make things worse by being such a burden.
You also noticed the bags under your brother's eyes as he drove back to the dorm, his face lined with new wrinkles of tiredness and worry. He must have sensed your discomfort because he grinned his usual puppy like smile at you. 'Everything's going to be fine,' he assured you as best as he possibly could.
Averting your gaze, from your brother's sincere caring face, which only made you feel worse, you found yourself staring down at the now useless lower half of your body.
Fine. Sure. You thought to yourself.
Time Skip to Dorm
'Here's your new room,' Jackson said as he pushed you inside an unfamiliar space.
'Wasn't I supposed to be alone?' you asked quizzically, eye raised at the new living arrangements.
'Well,' your brother scratched the back of his neck nervously. 'Because of your condition and everything we thought maybe you would want someone to take care of you, for the first few weeks at least,'
His words, combined with the guilt you felt and the shame of being an invalid made you explode. Right at your poor brother who didn't do anything wrong, who was just trying to help, but your emotions were so unstable and out of control that you were like a ticking time bomb dangerous and unpredictable.
'I don't need your help Jackson,' you screamed attempting to lash out and forgetting about your wheelchair, nearly toppled over but your brother's arms were still here to support you. 'You think that because I'm in this thing,' you slammed the armrests of your chair, palms stinging. 'I can't take care of myself?' you shrieked. 'Well, I'll prove it to you, I don't need you or anybody else,' you growled.
'(Y/N),' your brother began softly. 'It's not that, we just want to make sure you're okay,' he explained but his words couldn't seem to enter your brain.
'Get out Jackson,' you sighed, weary from your outburst. 'I'm sorry. I snapped. I just need some time to think,' you sighed, putting your head in your hands, holding back the hot tears that were stinging your eyes.
'But,' he said, stubborn as ever
'Out.' you insisted and this time he understood, closing the door behind him with a soft click.
You knew that you had hurt Jackson with your words but being so consumed in your own grief you couldn't think. If this was what life was like, being carried around having to be helped to move about like a child was it worth living? And what could you do in the wheelchair? Nobody would hire you and you would be forced to rely on your brother's funds which made you feel sick to your stomach. It wasn't that you had anything against your brother's money, it was just, at 21 years of age, you saw your career, hope and plans for the future dissipate before your eyes when you were robbed the use of your legs and you didn't know if life could go on like this.
Time Skip
12:00 AM
You didn't really care how much time had passed, all you wanted to be was left alone, staring at the blank wall opposite you. Jackson must have told all the other members to steer clear because not even a single one had come to knock on your door asking if you wanted anything, but you preferred it that way. Your stomach's growls begged to differ but like everything else you tuned it out.
A creaking startled you slightly, the room had been noiseless for so long, the only sound, your breathing.
'I told you to leave me alone Jackson,' you muttered, not even bothering to turn around, ashamed to face your brother after what you had said to him.
'I'm not Jackson,' a soft exhausted voice replied, one that you recognized instantly, one that you hadn't heard in what seemed like forever.
'Hi, Mark,' you said carefully, not wanting to turn to face the love of your life, to see the hurt in those dark brown eyes.
A whisper of cloth was all you heard as he made his way to you at the window side, dragging a chair behind him and sitting down next to you. This wasn't exactly the dramatic reunion you had envisioned but then again, Mark wasn't one for dramatics.
'I missed you,' he said after a heartbeat of silence but as he reached out to take your hand, you pulled away.
'I,' you hesitated, wondering what to say, but your stomach was WAY ahead of you on that count. Releasing another rumble like a wild animal, you blushed.
'You're hungry,' Mark's brow furrowed in worry. 'Haven't you been eating?' he asked, immediately abandoning his chair to go and get you some food.
'Don't bother,' you sighed, resting your chin on your hand. 'I'll get it later,'
'(Y/N),' Mark protested softly. 'You can barely move,'
'I KNOW,' you snapped. 'I know I'm useless and a burden okay? I know,' you whispered at the end, turning back to the window before he could see the tears streaming down your face.
You heard a faint sigh from behind you before your wheel chair jolted behind, Mark was taking you somewhere.
'What the hell?!' you protested. 'Where are you taking me?' you continued asking, peppering him with questions as he rolled you out to the kitchen, leaving you at the dining table.
You heard metal clanging against metal and the sound of the gas stove being turned on. The smell of savory cooking ramen filled the air, making your mouth water and your stomach felt as if it was going to mutiny.
10 minutes later, Mark came back holding a bowl of steaming ramen, placing it carefully on the table, as he took a seat next to you again. A pair of chopsticks was clutched in his hand and he picked up some strings of noodles, holding them out to you.
'Say Ah,' he instructed softly and while reluctant, your stomach completely took over and you opened your mouth allowing him to feed you some noodles.
Soon enough your ravenous appetite completely decimated the noodles, not even the soup was left, Mark having fed you the broth by hand as well.
'That wasn't so hard was it?' he asked, a twinkle in his eye as he watched in satisfaction at your reaction.
'Thank you,' you replied in a small voice, unwilling to look at him.
'Hey, come on, look at me,' he pleaded from somewhere above. When you refused to you, he tipped your head upwards carefully with his fingers, as if you were made of porcelain.
'Jinyoung told me you know,' Mark said, his face thoughtful. 'Your worries. About us, I mean,' he explained as the fire rushed to your cheeks again. Wheelchair bound or not, you would find some way to murder Park Jinyoung before the night was over.
But pushing your murderous thoughts away, you focused on Mark again. 'And?' you asked curious but again, afraid to find out what he would say.
'I think,' he mused carefully. 'That even in this thing,' he motioned to your wheelchair. 'You are still the most amazing, beautiful girl in the world and the only difference know is that I get to make care of you, which means spending more time with you, which is also a plus point for me,' he grinned.
'And you're not going to mind?' you asked incredulous. 'That I'm going to need help pushing myself around? That I can't even get around without one of you to be there? That I'm never going to be able to get a job?'
'Well,' he thought for a while before replying. 'I could princess carry you everywhere if you don't enjoy being pushed around,' he said.
'I'm being SERIOUS Mark,' but despite the graveness of the situation he had managed to extricate a smile from you.
'There's that smile I loved,' he said triumphantly. 'And also, I'm being deadly serious (Y/N), I'll carry you everywhere if you want me to,' he insisted.
'You're really still going to be able to love me even though that I'm like this?' you asked motioning to your useless legs.
'(Y/N),' he sighed, taking your face in his hands. 'I would love you in any shape or form, crippled or not, you're still the best thing that has happened to me,' he replied softly before leaning in to kiss you.
After weeks, the tight knot of tension within you, melted at the touch of Mark's lips. He tasted of home and comfort and safety. He was Mark, as familiar to you as your own body, he was part of you and you were part of him and nothing was going to be able to stop that.
Maybe, just maybe things were going to be okay after all.