"A female editor? Who cares? That sort of thing happens all the time. It doesn't mean they're dating each other," Aiden stated. He strummed absentmindedly on his guitar while Blue continued to play the same note repeatedly. "If you don't stop that, I will murder your face."
"With yours?" they smirked.
"Aw, you're back," he teased. "Seriously, get over it. I know it- I just know that his relationship with his editor is purely platonic, because no man would just pull away the person they like after being kissed by a different person without having real feelings for them. If something was going on between those two, he wouldn't have thought twice about me kissing you."
"Don't know if I agree with that."
Aiden threw his head back and groaned loudly. "Come on, Blue. You need to stop throwing yourself into this funk. There's nothing going on with the two of them. He likes you. He loves you, he said so."
"Just because people say they love you doesn't mean they actually mean it."
"Andrew is not Hayden," he countered, earning a glare from Blue. "Seriously. You are holding this man up to an impossible standard, because your heart was broken by a guy who was too big of a coward to break up with you in person. Not all guys are going to break your heart."
"Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to wary," they defended.
"No," he sighed. "You're right about that. There are a lot of guys out there who would do that to people, but that doesn't mean all guys are going to do that."
"So I should just throw caution to the wind and allow someone to potentially break my heart again? Sorry, but no."
"Blue," he groaned, "I understand it, alight? I don't fully get it, but I understand that you went through a lot with Hayden. I don't blame you for not wanting to deal with Andrew if you don't like him. But whenever you're freaking out over something, you always tend to rant and talk about nothing but that because you want to talk your feelings out. That has to mean a part of you likes him. Admit that, and I can actually help you. I can't help if you give me nothing."
Blue hated to admit that they were feeling romantic feelings for someone again. A part of them definitely liked Andrew. It wasn't love, but their feelings were stronger than a crush. Maybe it was due to the fact that he loved them rather than liked them. There was still doubt due to their brother, but it was possible to move on after loving someone for ten years. There was no reason why he couldn't fall out of love with Luke and fall for them.
The moment they agreed that a part of them liked him though, where were they supposed to go from there? Did that mean the two automatically had to be in a relationship? Was the fluttery feeling in their chest due to the excitement of potentially dating him? Blue liked him, but he loved them. They knew they wouldn't be able to reciprocate those feelings that quickly, and they didn't find it to be fair to Andrew to date him when a tiny part of them was still in love with Hayden. And they didn't think it would be fair if it was the other way around due to Luke.
But Blue couldn't lie and say they didn't like him, so they told Aiden.
"Then do you think your scatter brain is going insane because you know that he doesn't have anything going on with his editor, but you are looking for a reason to not be with him out of fear?"
"Yes," they whispered. "But she has a key to his apartment, and she's the only person on his team who does. She's always visiting. She leaves chocolates, drinks, and snacks behind every time she comes over, and I don't think it's supposed to be a platonic gift."
"What about the fact that he doesn't take good care of himself? You told me he goes days without sleeping and that he never ate any actual meals or stuff before you came to live with him. Maybe she comes in to help take care of him. Maybe if you agree to date him, he will take back the key," Aiden suggested.
They shook their head. "I don't want to inconvenience his team if they need the key for convenience or something," they mumbled.
"Dear Lord, make up your mind," he groaned. Jumping up from the couch, he yanked Blue up by their arm. "Come on. We need to get you out of here."
"No, Aiden, I don't want to go back right now. She's going to be there, and if this is just my mind spiraling down the rabbit hole, I would much rather ignore it until I quit thinking about it."
"There is no way you will get over it. All you are doing is overthinking everything, and you will eventually dig yourself into a hole and die," he proclaimed.
"Quit being dramatic."
"Says the person who is actually being dramatic," he snapped. "Admit it, Blue. You are just trying to find a reason to not be with him. If you didn't actually want to be with him, then I would drop it, but now you're driving me crazy, and I need for you to admit it before I go insane."
"Fine! I want to be with Andrew, but a part of me also doesn't. Granted that part is the side of me that is afraid of going through everything all over again, but can you blame me? I was engaged, Andrew!"
"I know."
"Engaged! We should be married by now, but we're not, because he left me. I let my school grades fall because of him, and I do not want to ruin my music career over this guy," they scream-cried. They whimpered. "I thought Hayden would never be the type to leave me, but he did. Andrew can say he won't leave me, but how do I know he means it? How do I know he will actually stay with me?"
"You don't." As much as Aiden wanted to be supportive in that moment, he knew he couldn't lie. Blue needed to hear the truth, and as their best friend, he had to be the one to say it like it was. "I know that I have no intentions to ever cheat on my future partner, but there is no guarantee that I one day won't. It's all about desire and whether or not you have the desire to do something wrong.
"Right now, he has no desire to leave you, and you don't have any either. Does that mean that will always be the case? No, and that shouldn't be your reasoning for not being with him. Let it be something about the now versus something that could potentially happen in the future. You're going to get hurt by everyone in your life eventually. Don't let that stop you from taking a chance with someone that you actually like."
Blue took a step forward into Aiden's chest. They didn't wrap their arms around him, but he held them close to his chest. They placed their hands on his torso and sniffled. "It's hard," they whimpered. "I don't know what to do, because the doubt's still there even when I don't want it to be."
"What if I came over to your place and met the woman? I can see for myself if there's something going on or not. Would that make you feel better?" he cooed.
"A little," they mumbled.
Aiden chortled as he kissed the top of their head. "Come on. Let's get you home before Andrew freaks out again. Not a good quality."
"He promised to work on it."
^^^
"Blue," Marcy beamed as she carried her coffee mug out of the kitchen. "Lovely to see you again. I didn't think I would get to."
"Did you finish rehearsals early?" Andrew questioned from the couch.
Before they could answer, Aiden stepped forward. "We have a few things to work on here."
"What-"
"Hello, I'm Aiden, the best friend," he introduced to Marcy and kissed the back of her hand.
She snorted. "Lovely to meet you. I brought doughnuts if you'd like some."
As Aiden made a run for the kitchen, Blue remained planted by the door. They wrung their hands together behind their back and stared at the hardwood floors. When they finally did look up at Andrew, they spotted him smiling at them before looking away. They noticed he was wearing a formal black suit, and they noticed Marcy was dressed up in a red evening gown. "Are you two going out tonight?"
"We have a workplace meeting at a restaurant," Andrew groaned. "Sorry I won't be here for dinner."
"It's cool. Aiden and I will order in or something," they smiled reassuringly.
"He's staying for dinner?"
"You heard the man. We have business to do. Besides, he's my best friend, so it shouldn't matter," they firmly responded.
Nodding his head, Andrew agreed.
The two looked back at the boy, who stood by the kitchen island with half a doughnut already in his mouth, He narrowed his eyes on the two as he stuffed his face, mainly glaring at Blue.
"We should get going," Andrew muttered to himself, staring down at his watch.
"Of course," Marcy agreed as she set the mug on the counter. Walking up to Andrew, she snatched her purse off the couch and chuckled. "Your tie is crooked," she stated before helping to readjust it.
Blue could not look away from her. Let go of him, they thought. That was supposed to be their job. At least they wanted it to be. Making sure he was well taken care of, healthy, all that jazz. And he would do the same for them. They wanted it. They craved it. But when Marcy touched him, it seemed like that reality was a distorted dream.
Blue only snapped out of their daze when Andrew held up his hand. They were ready, squeezing their eyes shut as they were prepared for him to ruffle their hair and kiss their cheek goodbye. But he didn't. Marcy called out his name and exited the apartment, and Andrew left, trailing his feet behind. The door closed.
"Moron!" Aiden yelled as he threw a doughnut at Blue's back. "How could you possibly deny his love when he looks at you with those eyes? He is clearly in love with you."
"Don't say that. I don't want to hear that. In love...too soon. Way too soon," they shuddered and denied. "I don't want to hear it."
"But you have to admit that he loves you. Did you see the way he stared at you from the moment you walked in?" He snapped his fingers. "Gazed. That's the word. He had that, sort of, longing, weird gaze thing where he only notices you and is waiting for you to notice him as well. He wants you bad."
"Shut up," they groaned.
"Did you not see his eyes?"
"I don't want to look at his eyes."
"Well, you should, because then you would clearly see that he only has eyes for you. Anything that may be going on between those two is clearly mumbo jumbo you made up in your head. He wants to be with you, and you alone," he smirked. "He loves you. You love him, too."
"I like him."
"Yeah, if only you could see the way you look at him. It is beautiful," he sighed heavenly. Shoving another doughnut into his mouth, he slurred, "work...now..."
"What work? We finished?" they groaned as they followed him into their bedroom.
"Finally," Blue exhaled as they flopped back onto their mattress. "I never thought we would finish. How many musicians did we watch?"
"Fifty-six. But we at least have twenty who are talented. I say we should ask them to audition in person for us, and then we can decide from there who we want to be in the band," he responded.
"I know we're not looking for any lead singers at the moment, but I really liked Rain. Her voice was a cross between Hayley William and Hayley Kiyoko. And her energy- I swear, boy, I could feel it seeping through the screen and awakening something inside me," they moaned.
"Relax. That's Andrew's job." Blue threw a pillow at him for that comment. "Okay, seriously, though, I like her too. I wouldn't mind switching to guitar if we hired her, as long as she is able to let me sing sometimes."
"It could be like Fleetwood Mac," they suggested. "She can play piano or something. I can do drums-"
"No, no. You can stick to piano. We can have her sing, and then when I sing, she can do tambourine or play a second guitar. God knows we could use one. Then we would just need a drummer and a bassist, and we saw a few promising people," he claimed. "What do you think?"
"I don't see any problems with this. It can definitely work," they concluded. "Should I email them, or will you?"
"I got it." Standing up from the floor, Aiden flopped onto the mattress, hovering over Blue. "You've got your hands full right now."
"With what?" they scoffed.
"You know what," he smirked, poking their side.
They let out a loud giggle. "Don't."
He continued to poke their side. "You've got a man to seduce, don't you?"
"Aiden!" they laughed exceedingly loud. "Stop it. I can't breathe."
When he finally pulled away, they were both out of breath due to their laughter. They continued to laugh and smile at one another, but all smiles faded as the bedroom door slammed open with Andrew on the other side.
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