Chapter 24
The Staircase to Heaven
I kind of just sat there…waiting…waiting for the torture of this kiss to end. It needed to end now.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…
Finally Seth pulls back. He doesn’t even look me in the eye. Great. He’s feeling the awkwardness and tension as well. Again we end up sitting there. Not looking at each other and twirling our thumbs.
The white paint on my mother’s wall is a darker shade than the shade of white on the couch. The colourful throw pillows have at least three different shades of blue on them namely turquoise, electric blue and navy.
Thos were just some ‘interessting’ observations I made whilst I was stuck in the awkward post-kiss/mortem silence next to Seth.
“Well, I’ve got to go. I’m tutoring someone tomorrow in the morning.” He finally pipes up. He gets up rubbing his hands up and down the front of his jeans.
“Oh, that’s great. Yeah, you should go get some sleep.”
I am silently jumping up and down with joy. The awkwardness has finally ended (is this how it will feel when high-school ends?)
With that I practically bolt to unlock the door and speed walk up the stairs whilst ushering Seth up them. He needs to get out of the house. The general icky-ness I feel after that situation is murdering me.
We pass my mother who is still sitting on her orange armchair reading her newspaper; oblivious to the horror that just occurred in her treasured formal lounge.
“Seth, honey, are you leaving so soon?” She looks at us quizzically over the bridge of her black cat-eye reading glasses.
“Yeah, he has tutoring.”
“Sorry, I have to tutor someone.”
We say it at the same time and it basically sounds like this over-eager jumble of words pouring towards my mother like a verbal avalanche.
“Okay?” She whispers rather skeptically.
“Thanks for having me over ma’am” He says politely.
“It was really only a pleasure. You weren’t even here for an hour. You are welcome any time you like. Also, it’s Veronica. Ma’am makes me sound like a drill sergeant.” She flashes him her best ‘motherly’ grin and softens her whole demeanor.
My mother sure knows how to lay it on thick and Seth is no better. These two could butter up anything. I’m pretty sure that between these two you could provide enough buttered bread to feed Europe.
I stand in the background and try to make like a chameleon and blend in. for a moment I convince myself that it just might work.
Come one body…be a chameleon. Be a chameleon.
I watch silently as my mother and Seth progress to the door and continue their merry little conversation of fake flattery.
They seem really into their discussion.
In fact I think that I have been forgotten about. Would I really have been that lucky to avoid an uncomfortable good-bye with Seth.
Oh no wait, here it comes…
“Bye Riley. See you soon kay?”
I walk apprehensively to the door and pray that Seth is not the type to kiss a girl in front of their mother. Thank the elements he is not and opts for a quick and short good night hug.
Don’t worry- the hug might have been short but it still had a life-time’s supply worth of- you guessed it- AWKWARD.
With that he finally gets into his car and leaves. Inwardly I breathe a massive sigh of relief. He’s gone. He’s actually gone.
Then the most obvious thing in the world strikes me.
Just because he is gone for now does not necessarily mean that he is gone forever. I an going to have put some serious work into thinking about why that first kiss was so freaky. I don’t know what to even say about it anymore. Maybe I can talk to Sandra about it tomorrow and she can help shed the light on the situation.
Also, honestly, I am too damned tired to try and come up with theories, answers and conclusions. My body is practically screaming out for sleep and my eyes are all droopy.
I make my way up the stairs and all I can think of is that Led Zeppelin song Stairway to Heaven because of how right it is. This staircase is my Stairway to Heaven because my warm, soft bed is on the other side.
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“Why do we even need guys? We have our beds to love us. And things are never ever awkward with our beds.” I state as I burst into Sandra’s room. I really needed some girl advice on what happened and since she was the only one of my friends who had dated I went to her.
That and I needed to return her car, which I had now had for a grand total of three days.
“What happened now?” she asks exasperated, “ I swear I should just starts a ‘help-for-Riley’ hotline.” He face is twisted into a self-satisfies smirk.
“Thanks. Nice to know that you care.” I tell her before flopping onto the foot of her bed.
“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How’s my baby?”
“Gee, I’m actually not that great thanks for asking. Yes I would like to talk about it. Thanks for offering to listen.” The words are positively dripping with sarcasm.
She looks at me with a look that tells me she means business.
“Your car is fine.”
Finally she stops smirking and starts to actually smile.
“Good, now what were you complaining about?” Oh, so that smile she had on earliar was purely sadistic?
I take a huge breathe in before exhaling and going on to tell her everything that happened after Seth and I left the party yesterday. Every teeny tiny detail -including my whole fight scene in which I turned my boyfriend into a human punching bag.
“So…you physically abused him and he still kissed you?” That was the first of a long line of questions from Sandra.
“Yes,” I admit sheepishly.
“The guy’s a saint,” she mutters under her breath before continuing her interrogation with, “And the kiss was awkward?” She asks with raised eyebrows.
“Aha. Like kissing my grandmother.” I tell her nodding my head up and down vigorously. I can’t help it- in situations like this I use my very abstract and predictable sense of humour as a shield. I came to the conclusion that I was Chandler Bind from Friends eons ago.
“So was it sloppy-awkward or like kissing a family member awkward.” She asks as she attempts to dissect the situation and find out what happened.
“Familiar awkward. I was literally like kissing my best friend.” I say dead serious.
“Okay- moving past the best friend thing; do you think it was just awkward for you because it was your first time kissing a guy?” She asks me in what can only be described as a slightly hopeful tone.
“You forget I’ve kissed Ryan before.”
“Oh right. How was it compared to Ryan?”
I mentally kick myself for bringing up Ryan. I generally hate talking about him. He hasn’t talked to me for two months. Ever since Seth and I started dating. Oddly enough I actually miss him irritating me and nagging me. It feels like I’ve lost a huge part of my life…well I kind of did.
I lost what could have potentially been a really good friendship.
I do some soul-searching before answering Sandra’s question.
“Ryan was ten times more enthralling that Seth I am sorry to say. I mean Seth is a really good boyfriend. However, if I am going to be honest I feel like with Ryan my body was reacting everywhere. I had a million things going on and I was completely captivated with him. With Seth, well…you know how that went.”
That feels like the most honest answer I could possibly give.
“Riley, have you ever though that you might be with the wrong person?” Sandra asks me wearily.
“Yes, then I remember that Seth is such an amazing guy who really cares. He is reliable and responsible. He cares for me. These are all the things Ryan just hasn’t got. Ryan would have broken my heart by now. Seth actually tries. When I think of this that is when I begin to realise that I made the right choice.” I tell Sandra and even I can hear the conviction in my own voice.
I agree with that fully, I never regret the decision I made by choosing Seth over Ryan.
Sandra just raises both her eyebrow before shaking her head and looking at me with almost sorrow.
“What’s that look about?” I ask her thoroughly confused.
“You seem so conviced what you did was right but you made a decision with your head. You completely forgot your heart.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t think” I ask her skeptically.
“No, I’m saying that in matters of the heart you listen to your heart and in matters of the mind you listen to the mid. In matter of love you listen to both.”
“That’s what I did.” I protest.
She just laughs at me.
“It may you seem like that now but I disagree. I made the same mistake. I used my head too much and forgot that I had a heart, which I was toying with. In the end I just caused my heart more pain because my head over complicated things. Now I am still hurting. I just hope you didn’t make the same mistake. Love is a primitive game. We have to play it as primates; by using our instincts. I hope that one day soon you will realise what a mess you are causing out of a simple situation because you refuse to listen to what your every instinct it yelling. ”
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After my emotional talk with Sandra during which she essentially made me question every life decision I had ever made in my life I went home and began to reflect.
I sat in my room thinking over every decision I made throughout this whole situation and for some reason I couldn’t see what she was harping on about. I had made the right choice…I had made the smart choice.
For once in my life I had finally done what was right for me.
I can’t understand why Sandra just couldn’t see that as well. I don’t know why she was planting all these seedlings of doubt in my mind.
Just then I get a text message. I look over at my phone and see that it is a message from Selena.
That’s strange.
I type in my pin and open the message. It reads:
Outside. Open for me. It is urgent.
That’s very strange. Selene is not generally the type of person who would invite herself over.
I run downstairs and open up for her. Her black BMW convertible rolls down the drive and parks in the bay next to Cassie’s car. The next thing I know Selena gets out of the car in her typical neon, bedazzled hoodie and black jeans with converse.
Something about her looks wrong though. She almost looks like she is guilty.
She comes up to me and gives me a rushed hug and hello.
“We’ll go to my room. That way we will have some privacy,” I tell her. I instantly pick up from her body language that something is very wrong. Her movements are hesitated and jumpy.
We climb up the stairs to my room and I shut the door as Selena takes a seat at the foot of my bed. She has this weird look on her face- almost like she wants to be sick.
“What’s up doc?” I ask her. Though I might appear happy I am actually very worried for her. I have rarely ever seen Selena in this state before. It’s new and uncharted territory for me and I am busy trying to analyze how I will deal with this situation.
Selena sits there struggling to get out what she has to say.
“Selena, it’s okay. Just tell me and everything will be fine. We will all work together to make it better. You know that you can count on us to fix it. We will be there for you. We won’t let anything happen to you.”
I can almost feel my maternal instincts kick in. Selena is honestly like a little china doll that always needs protection because otherwise she would be smashed. I won’t let anything hurt her.
By now I am practically freaking out because I see how affected my whatever the hell has happened Selena is.
“Riley. I am so sorry. I would never do it intentionally. I didn’t so it on purpose. I came straight here. You need to know that it was not intentional. I’m not that type of person. I care about you too much to jeopardize our relationship like that,” Selena lets this all out in one breath. Her eyes are wide and she is grasping onto my arms in a frenzied fit.
Now she is scaring me. It looks like she is about to have a panic attack or something.
“Selena. What is going on?” I demand slightly more firmly.
“Just promise me we will still be friends?” She practically begs me.
“Yes, yes. I promise. Now tell me what happened so I can help you.”
What in the world could she tell me that was so bad it was put our friendship in danger? She looks like she is about to start bawling on the floor.
“Riley. Seth and I kissed this morning.”
Author's Note
Sorry for the lat eupdate. I didn't save my work and therefor when my macbook died i lost what ever i had written for chapter 24. Then i just didn;t feel like rewriting because i was feeling kind of dejected after losing the first one which was really funny,
Also, school was really stressful and i'm sorry but that deos come first for me.
Thanks so much to those of you who still read this story after all the drama revolving updates and still vote for it reguralry, It has officially reached 100 votes. This migth seem minimal but for me it was an amazing achievement...thanks so much you guys.
This story was dedicated to yoitskats because she was my 100th vote but i am gping to giev a shout out to all my voters and to all the peopel who constantly support this story.I JUST WANT TO SHOW THESE GUYS HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE THEM. THANKS SO SO SO MUCH> I WUV CHU<3
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If i left anyone out please let me know. It's late at night and i'm a genuinly forgetful person so don;t take offense and just let me know.
I also wanna thank all of my silent readers. You guys are fanstatsically awesome. thanks so much for reading all the way through and showing your support. I wuv chu guys. Please can you guys vote as well. All the people above did it and they are still alive so....please?!?
Thanks so much to all you amazeball peeooppllleee. I WUV CHU ALL MY BOOBOO"S
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