I have a bunch of lizards in my backyard so this is kinda-not-so-much personal experience lol. Sorry in advance for this being most exposition Andy being really terrible.
STORYTIME!
They just moved in the neighborhood. The weird Queer couple that makes the best casserole. Everyone in the neighborhood knew exactly what they were dealing with the second they moved in. First of all you got your normal essntric gay man. That's Patton, the sweetest thing alive. He cooks all the best foods and dreams of being a Dad one day. The only reason people can't label the relationship as "gay" or "homosexual" is because his partner. His enbyfriend. Virgil was a non-binary lover who was kind of emo but wrote the best songs. They both opened their own child daycare in the community center, right next to the Kroger's and the Verizon.
They were sweet and kind, but a lot of adults were scared of them. The kids loved them and some accepting parents became their friends, but a lot of neighborhood people worried that they were trying to turn everyone gay or push their agenda on everyone. That wasn't the case at all. They just wanted to be married and lead a happy life in a place where their marriage and adopting children together was legal. They just wanted to live the small community life they dreamed of.
Today was Sunday, the two closed their daycare center on Sundays to give respect to those that are religious and to give Virgil a much-needed break. Virgil gets drained easily, especially from their childhood. The two of them lay in their backyard in the grass, holding hands. They stare up at the clouds and watch time pass by. This is exactly what the two of them wanted. What else could life give them other than a child or seven who needs them? Patton really wants a big family. Patton is a family man. However Virgil simply isn't ready to take care of so many kids. Virgil was thinking about the very subject when suddenly they jerked to a sitting up position. Patton was confused.
"Virgil? What's wrong baby?"
Patton sat up and then he saw. There was a lizard in their lap, on its back and flailing to be flipped around. Virgil was panicking and trying to help the lizard of their leg and back into the grass, but the lizard didn't seem to want to cooperate. Instead of falling the way Virgil wanted it to, it toppled the other way and fell between Virgil's legs. Patton tried to contain his giggles, but it was no use. Patton started laughing, causing the non-binary pal's face to go entirely red in embarassment. Sometimes Virgil's face goes red for no reason, so this wasn't uncommon to see. Virgil fumbled to stand up, trying their very best not to step on the lizard and crush the poor thing to death. Virgil moved to the side and sat back down in a hurry. The Lizard was still, tiny abdomen quickly expanding and constricting. Poor thing must have thought it was going to die. Patton decided he would play with the Lizard.
"Hello Mister, Madam, or non Gender Specific Lizard! What are you doing in our backyard? Do you have a family we can return you to or were you just so awestrucken by my Significant Other's beauty that you couldn't help yourself?"
Patton grinned when he heard Virgil try to dismiss the thought. Virgil always hated it when Patton complimented him like that. Virgil also loves being called "Significant Other" and "Enbyfriend" over the other gender neutral titles. The other sound too cliché or sound too much like a meme. Their words not Patton's. Patton laid down on his stomach, facing the Lizard. His glasses were a little bit foggy for no reason, but that's okay. The tiny reptile looked at Patton with its tiny bead eyes. He looked up to see Virgil crawling on the grass over to Patton, careful not to scare their tiny friend, and mimicked his position.
"Or did you confuse me for my lovely husband and try to use me as a stepping stool to get to him? I would have done the same thing in your shoes Mister, Madam, or non Gender Specific Lizard."
It was Patton's turn to giggle. He swayed over towards Virgil and pressed a kiss to their cheek. The lizard must have no idea what's going on because it was still frozen like a poor deer in headlights. While the Lizard has distracted, Patron Tried to use his index finger to stroke the little friend's head. He got caught, failing at the little game of red light green light, and the Lizard jumped like a cat when seeing a cucumber behind it. The lizard scampered away, trying to get away from the giant scary Hoomans. The couple laughed and entwined their hands at their sides, creating yet another memory together in this new house.
"Patty Cake? I'm going inside to go make some iced tea. Do you want one or should I make you a chocolate milk?"
Virgil knew their boyfriend too well. Patton didn't say a word. He just gave them large sparkly Steven Universe eyes. Virgil sighed with a smile and stood up, letting go of Patton's hand as they went inside the house to go make some drinks for this gorgeous day outside. Patton waited for Virgil to go back inside before rushing off to the other side of the yard. There was a giant bush where Patton knew lots of Lizards were. Virgil hasn't discovered the secret stash of Lizards yet, but Patton thought he could scare his lover when they got back outside. Patton snickered as he say the perfect candidate. Tiny baby Lizard on a glossy dark green leaf. Patton stuck his hand out underneath the leaf and cooed to the tiny baby lizard as though it was a child.
"Hey sweetie Lizard. Do you want to help me play a prank on the love of my life? Do you? Yay that's awesome! I hope you don't mind if I take you with me for a second, do you sweetie Lizard? I'm sure you don't mind! Come with me!"
Patton plucked the leaf off the bush without disturbing tiny baby lizard that's probably the size of his pinkie in length, width, and volume galore. Patton sneaked over to the back door of their two bedroom, two bathroom, one story, painted baby blue house. Now all Patton had to do was wait for Virgil to walk through the door. Patton was practically shaking with excitement. Patton became a Chihuahua. Patton heard the squeak of the door opening. Virgil carried a glass of chocolate milk in one hand and an iced tea with a lemon on the glass in the other. Patton giggled softly to hi self and jumped out in front of them, cupping the Lizard in his hands. He beamed a smile that would make the sun envious and presented baby sweetie Lizard to his enbyfriend.
"Virgil! I found our child! This is Sweetie Pumpkin Sanders!"
Virgil almost dropped the cups out of surprise. Virgil jumped a bit and focused on the lizard in his hands. Once Virgil figured out what was going on they snickered and shook their head. Of course Patton would try to "prank" him. Patton was just that pure. Virgil leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Patton's temple, refining his grasp on the cups so they aren't slipping out of their sweaty palms. Sweetie Punpkin Sanders has a cute ring to it, but Virgil wasn't ready to be a parent. Virgil wasn't ready for the responsibility, even if the responsibility is for a Lizard. Maybe in a year or so after they get used to children in the daycare they can rescue any orphans they find. They just hoped Patton could wait that long.
"Put sweetie back where you found them. I'm sure their parents are worried sick."
Patton slumped and walked away, going to the opposite side of the yard that Virgil suspected. Patton put the tiny lizard on a leaf in a bush that Virgil didn't really notice before. Patton dragged his feet back over melancholically and held out his hands. Virgil chcukled and handed the man his chocolate milk. Virgil pulled two chairs from the patio and sat down in one. Patton sat down to his left. They held hands and watched the sky sitting in their chairs, sipping drinks and letting time pass by. Just one man and one gender neutral person sharing a lovely domestic life in a small neighborhood with LGBTQA+ rights.
This was exactly the life they wanted.
1436 Words
Thanks to Pengi11 for inspiring me to do a fluffy domestic oneshot about a non-binary Side. They have a lot of good works So you should go check her out!
Everyone deserves to live the life they want. If someone wants to be a stay at home parent, it isn't degrading. They want to be at home taking care of children. Some people don't want extravagant jobs. My dad always says this: "nobody does a damn what I did at my job five years ago, but my kids remember that their mother was there for them when they were sick. A stay at home mom (dad or gender neutral parental unit) is the most called for job in the world. There's no shame in being there for your family". I don't want to be a stay at home wife, but I'm hopping whoever I marry wouldn't mind being one. As a physics student I should be able to make enough money to provide for a family so finances shouldn't be hard to deal with. I want a loving family to grow up smart and with care. You should be proud of your dream no matter what it is. You should follow your dream no matter what it is. Be PROUD of your dream. Internet hugs and blow kisses!
~Eva