Viva La Pluto, Fuck You Scientists!
STORYTIME!
Logan worked at NASA down in Houston, Texas. He and his boyfriend moved from Gainesville Florida so he could work there instead of at the Kennedy Space center. As a physicist and astrologist, he makes good money and can provide for his family of four. His husband, Patton, and their adopted child named Emile. And who can forget their precious Pomeranian puppy Luigi? Patton named the dog, claiming that Luigi was the underrated Mario brother and they should give the dog all the love Luigi doesn't receive. Logan's boyfriend is silly, cute and childish, and that's what he loves about him. As long as he is smiling, everything is okay.
"Hey Papa? Can you teach me about the solar system again? I think my teacher was wrong."
Emile sat down on the couch next to Logan, handing him the pop up hook he and Patton made for him on his third birthday. Emile is a precious child in second grade now. He dreams big and wants to help others, like Patton, and is the smartest kid in his class. If he thinks his teacher is wrong, then something must be up with the education system. With a stay at home dad like Patton and a Papa like Logan, Emile can only be wrong once in a blue moon. But not to put any pressure on him. He can fail just like every other human can. Emile opened the pop up book to the sun and skipped through several pages to one about two thirds of the way through his space pop up book. Pluto. Logan instantly understood what was going on.
"Ms. Torres said that Pluto isn't a planet and that I was wrong for saying there are nine planets in our solar system. After class she said it was a dwarf planet and it was too small to be a real planet. But Pluto is trying its best! Pluto deserves to be a planet like everyone else! Is Pluto a planet Papa?"
Logan sighed. In the span of time from the day that book wasn't made and now, Pluto has lost its planetary status. The third criteria of the definition of a planet is not met in Pluto's case, therefore it isn't a true planet. However, Pluto is a dwarf planet like Valerie (Ms. Torres) had stated. His son looked so heartbroken. Patton, who was in the kitchen washing the dishes, walked out of the kitchen with his yellow latex gloves still on his hands. He also looked heartbroken. Logan never told Patton about the loss of Pluto as a planet, since Pluto has always been his favorite planet ever. It's time for science Space Dad to teach a lesson to his child and husband. And Luigi, who apparently just woke up from a nap in the corner of the room.
"That was before we discovered the angle of Pluto's orbit. See, Emile, Pluto orbits at seventeen degrees rather than the standard, therefore making the pathway elliptical. By definition, a planet must have a circular orbit around the sun with a cleared path. Since Pluto's orbit does not meet the criteria, Pluto is not a full planet. However your teacher is right about Pluto being a Dwarf Planet. Pluto meets the two other criteria for a planet. It is spherical in shape and it orbits around a star. In fact, Pluto has three moons: Nix, Charon, and Hydra. I'm sorry, but your teacher is right."
Emile still looked very sad and he slumped down on the couch. Logan glanced out of the corner of his eye to see Patton going back to the kitchen sadly to finish up the dishes. They did just eat dinner after all. Household chores were things Patton enjoyed doing, they helped him feel needed. Emile closed his little pop up book he's had since childhood and he sighed. There was a silence and Logan looked at his fsce, examining it. Normally in these long periods of silence is where his idealism and optimism shine through with a brilliant idea. He braved himself for whatever wouldn't run through his seven year old mind. He watched his fsce brighten up with a smile and his eyes go wild with excitement. He had an idea.
"Papa! You work at NASA, right? You can go in there and change the criteria for a planet making Pluto a planet again!"
A gasp and a sound of shattering from the kitchen. Logan whipped his head around to see Patton blushing and holding his hands out like he had a plate in them. Patton dosregsrded the plate and rinsed his gloves under the faucet before hurrying over. Patton had a grin to rival Emile's, as if they were fighting over who was the cutest most wholesome boy in this house. Logan felt his blood go cold. He can't just do that out of nowhere. He needs to bring it up and give a million good reasons why he should and a million bad reasons why the old one shouldn't be. That was a hyperbole. He needs at least ten reasons for both sides in essay format and he needs signatures of people who agree with the statement. Either way, it's a tedious process.
"Logybear! Didn't they change the definition of the planet back in 2006? If you can find the old definition and get that renewed in the science community then Pluto can be a planet again!"
He isn't wrong. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary a planet is a celestial body that revolves around a star, however that would mean several of the asteroids of the Kuiper Belt would also be classified as planets. What if they put a distance limit on what can be a part of our Solar System and what counts as debris? No, then a bunch of SJWs would go after the astronomic community for not being inclusive. Maybe they could modify the persmiters of the mass of a planet? Between 1.25g/cm^3 and 5.75g/cm^3 then change the parameters for the surface gravity to 0.5m/s^2 to 25m/s^2. Numbers like that should identify a planet, not a simple angle measurement. If any other dwarf planets from the Kuiper Belt meet those perimeters then so be it. Those seem like the most logical ways to determine a planet. The problem still stands: he needs this approved by the Astroglogists and Scientists of Space.
"It would be a hectic and harrowing job for me, constantly debating with others and trying to prove my points, however with extra work effort and help from the both of you I can do my best."
The cheers from his husband and son was all that he needed to hear. Hip hip hooray for Space Dad!
1124 Words
In the middle of writing this I had to go devein shrimp. It's gross but so worth it after the shrimp are cooked.
Everyone deserves to be accepted as part of the group. People just want to fit in and be happy, why would you deny them of that? By extension, you deserve to be accepted as part of the group. No matter what, we all accept you for who you are. (Unless you're a pedophile or something like that.) Internet hugs and blow kisses!
~Eva