My hands been trembling after I red the last page of her diary, I was wrong.
--
"Mom, I think I'll stay longer." I speak to mother once whe end the dinner. She look up at me and smiling. Of course she is happy. This is what she want.
"But how about J?" I look up at mom now, biting my lips, thinking. And I have no option.
"He'll stay here with us."
--
"Its nice to see you." Greet some old face smiling at the glorious Jungkook and the great Miyeon which has her hand around his hand.
"Its nice to see you too, Mr. Kim." Greet Jungkook back at his prof. His ex prof. He used to be humiliated because of his nit really smart brain in front of other people and look who prof greet with smile widening. Its him. Jeon Jungkook.
"You two look good."
"Thank you, prof. You look healthier now." Miyeon said and smiling happily. And Jungkook see her smile, smiling back content.
"Can we excuse ourself?" Ask Jungkook and the prof nod.
He was searching for his friends. Since he arrived there was no trace of them. But when he look at the corner of the food table he smiles to see Rosé picking her food seriously with Jimin who's patiently holding the plate for her on his hand. They look good together. Its best for them to stop hooking up. Its best for her to be with her love one.
"Hyung." Said Jungkook and walking toward them, he can clearly feel his fiancé hesitant to follow him. But he ignore it. She needs to be friendly with his friends. His family.
"Wow. Jeon Jungkook." The short man smiling and put the plate while began to hug on him. "You grow taller."
"No. It just you who is shrinking- ouch Rosé." He complains when he feel heels on his shoe. Man this woman is dangerous.
"What are you talking again?" She threatening him and he gulp.
"Nothing. Just wanna ask where is the rest?" He look around to avoid death stare from Rosé.
"Jennie and Yoongi hyung and also Hoseok hyung who is third wheeling now right there." He pointed at the crowd where the friends of him talking. "Jin hyung and Jisoo there." He got prof to talk with him and Jisoo. "Namjoon was preparing for his opening speech and Tae said that he will be late."
"Oh." I said and then looking at where Rosé stare at. Its his fiancé. Its no new that they hate his choice. Even after 2 years. They cant do that. "How about we-"
"Fuck." Jimin cursed and looking the entrance where the crowd made and Jungkook deciding to see there to. And his heart just missing the beats. "Lisa."
--
"Of course you'll come with Tae." Yoongi approaching the girl who's standing holding her glass, and there are so many eyes watching her with curiosity. The things happen 4 years ago still fresh on their mind. They want more to know.
"What?" She asked and look at his face. Smiling. And he cant resist to smile and hug him. He missed her. So much.
"Nothing. Just welcome." He said caressing her hair and from there she can see how Jennie stare could kill her. "Where have you been?"
"I am back."
"Where?"
"Somewhere."
"You still cant forget about that?" He asked still feel disappoint that she is still hesitate to believe in him. In them.
"You still cant forget about me."
"Will never." He beams and she close her eyes to feel his warmness. This is the man who's willing to sacrifice for her sister. The man she should respect and protect from now on. "How's the life?"
"Breathing. You?"
"Just waking up." She chuckled and freeing herself while hitting his bicep.
"Koala."
"Lovely Koala."
"I know." She smile again and take his hand. "What about Jen?"
"Just back from Paris a year ago." She nods. "Mad for Jungkook' engagement." She shook her head.
"Cant stand her over protective side." He nods agreeing with her
"I am doing good. With hoseok. And also Namjoon will be getting married after Jungkook."
"Right? I am happy."
"Yet you act like you don't care."
"I think its inheritance from you."
"Shut up." He cuts her words and still try to listen to Namjoon speech in front of them. "Jimin and Rosé, they will engaged in 4 months. Thanks to you."
"Good for you."
"Jin and Jisoo, how I say that, she, she proposed to him years ago and they, live together now." Yoongi starring at the couple near them. "No commitment."
"If only you know the story."
"And you know?"
"How if I do?"
"Should I make you drunk to spill that shit?" She chuckled. "Okay. Jungkook, that brat being crazy. He proposed to Miyeon, his childhood friend. I cant understand. And he just lying to himself, act like he loves her."
"He might truly love her."
"He can pretend that it was you, but no... she is far from you." He beams again. Sadly.
"What should I do then? Playing him again?" She jokes and immediately looking back at Yoongi when he stares at her in silence.
Shit no.
"Can you?"
--
I look at her from far, with the skin against mine on my hand, I feel lonely.
Lonely dog.
I miss her and want to talk to her. To see her from close. To touch her. But she looks happy with Yoongi hyung, it should always been him. I hate it.
"I need to go to toilet." I told my fiancé and she nods.
"I'll wait." She muttered and I walk calmly, as I reach the cubicle I loosen up my ties and splashing my face with cold water.
Wake up Jungkook. She doesn't want you. She just came for the reunion. Not for you.
You have fiancé, love her.
Don't repeat the same story.
Only a stupid donkey fall for the same hole.
I make sure to look decent. And with a last look I was out from the toilet. That's when I see her back figure. Holding her phone on her ear she talks in Thai. With the cutest voice that I missed the most.
"Take care baby, you'll be fine. We'll gotta meet soon."
And she has someone just like I did.
I guess.
--
"What the fuck?" Taehyung said once he opened his door of his condo and find someone. "Lisa."
"Yeah. Now let me in." She demand and he nods. Grinning like a child winning his first game. "Nice place."
"How."
"I was looking for new place to live." She said and he look at her in anticipation wishing that its in his building. "Around here."
"You look amazing. Wow its been 4 years."
"How's life?"
"Good."
"You know you can have better if you decide to play save 4 years ago."
"What?"
"Payment. You pay your sin with a great sacrificial." He looks at her in confusion. "You still don't know?" He ask him with a disbelief look and he shook his hand.
"I just came to shatter your calm life then." She said and then walking around to reach the door to go. "Jisoo, your crush since elementary school.." he hold his breath, its been long time the topic spoken by anyone. As if everyone already forget that he likes Jisoo.
"She loves you but you decide to be an idiot. Great payment indeed right?"
"You talk bullshit right?"
"Believe what you want to believe." she then open the door to walk away but he walk behind her to the elevator. "Idiot."
She said before the door of the lift motioning to close and he hold it.
"Why'd you lie?" She look at him questioning his words. "4 years ago. You'd been lie. You don't tell them I rape you. You told them you sleep with me."
She looks blankly reminding the pain in her heart and those regret eating her again. "Well, it kinda hurt more for them when I told them I willingly fucking you."
"You are bitch."
"I am."
"So what you want coming here?"
"To look for help." She beams and then walk outside the elevator to talk to him agaim. She needs him.
"Help for what?"
--
"He doesn't even spare his gaze on you?" Tae said from my side when we choose to dance on the dance floor with a slow song. Romantic they said.
"Your job to make he spare his gaze on me." I clutch my hand on his shoulder. And he groans.
"You sure it will make everything better?" He asked again and I mock him.
"See someone better than me to save him?" He look at her and shook his head. "Great. That's why you should obey to me."
"Lis." He call my name and I look up at him again. His gaze on me and for the first time I see how he become more mature and more handsome now. "Have you pay your sin?"
"I did." I beam and lean my head on his chest. Wanting to hide my trembling lips and watery eyes. I am afraid that I will cry here. "Thrice."