It was my first taping day after my revelation about my relationship with James. It was regretful, but our relationship remained ambiguous. I mean, I haven't properly confessed to him yet, so he hasn't answered me as well.
James was busy reviewing for their upcoming final exams, I knew that and I was doing my best not to disturb him, but it was really difficult to hold back. I wanted to call him and text him, but I also wanted to give him space to concentrate on his studies.
I just finished shooting a scene when I saw a commotion from afar. An imported car parked near our location and I saw some Cathy Chua alighted it.
Some production assistant tried to stop her, but her bodyguards made sure no one could touch her. She walked straight towards me, not caring about the cameras around.
Without saying a word, Cathy Chua slapped me. "That's for making a fool out of me." She said angrily.
Her slap stung, but it didn't faze me. "I was expecting to get that sooner." I replied.
"Was it fun, ruining my engagement?" She asked me sharply.
"That engagement was one-sided, James had no intention of ever marrying someone he barely knows." I replied back.
"And who should he marry? You?" She scoffed.
"Don't act like a jealous lover, it's not like you really liked James in the first place. You wanted to marry him because of the merits that marriage would give you. It was a business deal for your families, right?" I replied to her.
"So what if it's a business deal?" She scoffed again. "Well, I don't expect commoners like you to understand how people like us live." She said mockingly.
"You're right, I could never understand people like you. Why do you think you're so high above everyone else?"
"You're thrash." She said angrily. "Did you have fun; playing me around, making a fool out of me?"
"What about you? Do you people get a kick out of trying to control other people? Do you really think you're so much better than you can do whatever you want in the expense of someone else freedom?" I replied to her. "Sure, I'm thrash, but you people are much worse."
That comment only aggravated her more, and another stinging slap landed on my cheek. "I won't let this slide."
"Go ahead." I told her. "You can slap me as much as you want, it won't change a thing; James would still never marry you."
She scoffed at me. "Do you really think you two can be together? His family won't let it happen. I won't leave you two alone either. Enjoy your fame while it last..."
"Ahh, that's right." I interrupted. "Your father did threaten my career. When do you think he would make his move?" I asked sarcastically.
"You don't have to wait for long, I'll make sure to end your career." She said angrily.
I scoffed at her. "Can you though? I may not have as much power or influence as your family, but I have great friends." I smiled at her. I looked around me and saw people watching us. Some were trying to take photos and videos but Cathy Chua's bodyguards were stopping them. "Take your bodyguards and leave, if you don't want to be caught on camera, then you shouldn't have gone here in the first place."
Cathy Chua left, angrier than before.
"Are you alright?" Diana approached me.
"I'm fine." I replied as I rubbed my cheeks.
"You should really learn to keep your mouth shut at times." She told me. "Sometimes, it's better to just keep quiet. It's not like you always have to win a fight to win the war." She told me.
I chuckled at her. "I'll try that some other time."
Despite Cathy Chua's threat, I became busier than ever. That whole week I was doing photo shoots and interviews for various international magazines. Who would've thought that being honest to my feelings would bring so much luck to me?
If there's one downside to all of it, it's that I was too busy to even talk to James. I wanted to make our relationship clear, I wanted to know where we stand, but I haven't got the chance yet.
My commitments would be done either late at night or at dawn, I couldn't bring myself to be selfish and call James, because I knew he was busy and tired studying for exams.
One particular night, after a tiring day of shooting, my van was nearing the condo when something caught my attention. There were several men in black suits standing by a black van just outside the condo building, it was a suspicious sight and somehow I couldn't help but feel that they were there for me.
There was a very valid reason for me to be paranoid. I was sure that they were monitoring me, I just didn't know who sent them; the Chua's or James' grandfather.
Since those men haven't really done anything besides watch everyone who would come in and out of the building, I thought it was for the best decision to just ignore them.
Mr. Hernandez called me to his office that week, and I was surprised to see James's mother in there. Mr. Hernandez left and gave some privacy when I arrived.
Nothing good would come out of that meeting, I already had that mindset.
"I'll be direct to the point." She said. "Don't drag my son with your publicity stunts. Do you know what kind of trouble you caused just to get attention?" She sounded really condescending. "Stop seeing him, stop using him, stop confusing him." She added calmly yet firmly.
"James has a mind of his own. He should be able to do whatever he wants." I replied. "He should be with whoever he wants to be with?"
"And you think that it's you?" She asked mockingly. "James is in a rebellious phase, I'm sure this would pass. So, don't take advantage of the situation. If you think you can use my son to get ahead in your career, you're sadly mistaken.
"Have you ever considered James' feelings?" I asked her, keeping my calm. "When you force him to marry Cathy, he was miserable. James has many things he wants to do; why can't you let him decide for himself what he wants to do with his life?"
"Like what? Making videos on the internet? What kind of future would that give him? Taking over the family business is the only he'll ever be successful."
"You're underestimating him, James is more capable than you think, why don't you trust him?"
"You don't have the right to tell me how to raise my son." She rebutted. "You're the one who's going to make him miserable, so don't go near him. Because of you, James could everything. Do you think love and freedom are enough to buy everything he needs? Wake up, kid, James doesn't have any future with you." She told me. "This would be my last warning to you." She said as she stood up. "You don't know what I and my family are capable of, boy." She threatened.
"What the hell is wrong with this week?" I sighed after she left. "Really? Whose side are on?" I asked Mr. Hernandez when he came back.
"What do you want me to do? Those people are threatening my business? Not all of my talents have powerful backers like Zoey Lopez like you do if I didn't do what she wants..." He reasoned out.
"That's exactly why people like them kept abusing their money and influence because everyone else is so afraid of them that they do whatever they ask." I replied. "I'm busy as it is, so please, if it's not work-related, don't call me here." I told him.
Days passed and I was starting to get more frustrated. I had no idea how long I can last without clearing things up with James. I was itching to know what our status is, but I didn't want to pester him for an answer.
I did say I would give him some time and space to think, and I promised that I would be patient, but I was starting to doubt that maybe he doesn't feel the same way for me.
Everything happened so fast for me too, I didn't expect that I would really fall for him. I should've known that when I started caring for him, for his happiness and his freedom, I was already beginning to feel something deeper for him.
I could've fought my feelings then if only I knew. I could've just ignored his dilemma and minded my own business.
In the end, I was the one who dug my own grave.
During one of my photoshoot for a magazine, I was asked about my current relationship with James. "What made you decide to reveal everything to the public? Weren't you worried about how it would affect your career? Did you have any doubts about it? Do you have any regrets?" The interviewer asked me.
"Sure, I was worried about my career. I mean, for the past years I worked really hard to get where I am right now. I faced many rejections and many failures before I can reach this point, so I wasn't just worried, I was afraid. More than being afraid of what would happen to my career, though, I was afraid of losing him to someone else." I replied with a smile. "James is the kindest person I know, he would sacrifice even his own happiness and freedom for the sake of those who are important to him. I think a little scandal in my career is just a little dot compared to what he had done for me."
"If you don't mind, may I ask the status of your relationship?"
"That's... We're still in the courting stage. By that, I mean I'm still courting him." I replied honestly.
"He still hasn't replied to your confession?"
"I told him to take his time. I'm not the ideal person to be with, in many ways, and I don't want him to regret being with me. Sure, I would be more than happy if he reciprocates my feelings, but James had been through a lot, and I want him to choose what he thinks would make him the happiest. He deserves it."
"It sounds to me that you're in love." The interviewer teased with a smile.
"Am I that obvious?" I replied with a chuckle.
The interviewer smiled back at me. "I'm sure once he read this interview, he wouldn't be able to say no to you any longer."
I wasn't busy the following Sunday, and I couldn't wait for another week, so I decided to pay James a visit. I was being impatient, I admit that, but the situation was killing me.
Near James' condo building, I saw the same looking van and the same looking men that frequented my place this week. That's how I became sure that it was his family that sent those men.
Are they making sure that James and I don't meet? Isn't this a little bit overkill? We're not Romeo and Juliet, for crying out loud!
As I was walking towards the building, I saw Teo walked out of the condo building. His eyes were swollen and he looked really gloomy. Did he cry? What the hell is Damien doing? Did they just fight?
I was expecting Damien to run out after Teo, but he didn't. How I wished he did so that things wouldn't be as complicated for me.
Instead, it was James who followed Teo outside.
Honestly, James was the last person I was expecting to see. I expected either Axel or Clark to follow Teo instead.
When I saw James walked out of the building - I wouldn't lie about it, - my heart sunk. I was hit by the sudden realization that James still cares deeply about Teo.
The worry was very evident in James' face. He could never hide how much he cares for Teo. Somehow, I felt really jealous about it.
James stood behind Teo and slowly placed a hand on Teo's shoulder.
Teo turned around slowly and when he saw James, he leaned his head on James' chest.
When I first met James, I already knew that he liked Teo, but it was the first time that it really got to me.
Is this why he couldn't give me an answer yet? Or is this his answer? Is he choosing Teo over me?
I was starting thinking; maybe the reason James couldn't really return my feelings was that deep inside he was still longing for Teo. The truth is, I don't have the confidence to hear his rejection, but I also didn't want to force myself to him.
I'm not like his family. I won't force him. I promised to protect his freedom, after all.
Honestly, I never really understood how both Axel and Teo can date the same sex, it was confusing to me. That's right, I had a closed mind. Because of my work as a model, I've met countless attractive people, both male and female. Sure I can admit to seeing another guy as attractive, but not enough to make me want to date them.
That all changed when James came barging to my life.
Ever since that night, I started to feel weird.
I couldn't get him out of my head, I couldn't help but feel excited while thinking about him.
That's why when he placed his arm around Teo, I felt a sudden pang of pain in my chest.
Teo is my friend, but I still felt really jealous of him.
I wanted to turn back and just leave like I was never even there, but people started recognizing me and a small crowd started to form around me. I smiled at them and agreed to take a few pictures.
James finally saw me, and he moved away from Teo slowly. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't understand. Was it regret, guilt? I don't know.
I smiled wryly at him.
Soon, it was not only James who was walking closer to me, but also the men in black suit roaming around the building.
James' eyes widened as he saw the men walked towards me.
I didn't know what to do. Should I run? Where should I go?
That's right, I decided to never run away. So, instead, I walked towards James.
I don't care who stands in my way, I don't care if I get rejected, I'll continue walking towards him.