Yes, this is the final chapter for Falling For The Good Boy.
Writing this has been an amazing journey for me, I thought that I'd write this in a type of venting journal thingy, just to get all of my thoughts out of my head but it's turned into so much more. I started writing this for me, and only me, hoping to gain something as I went. Now, I'm still writing for me, but it's not only me anymore. It's all of you guys, too. I can't thank you guys enough for all of the love and support.
I never believed that I'd get one hundred reads, ant now I have fourteen thousand. It's so amazing. I can't thank you guys enough for supporting me, I couldn't have made it through this book without you.
Through all of the blood sweat and tears, we pushed through to the end. And although you may not like it, I wanted to keep the story realistic. I might post an authors note explaining my reasons behind the events that I made happen. Would you guys like that?
Anyway, thank you again, SO MUCH for pushing through with me and supporting me, it's meant so much and I hope to keep your support through my new book.
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I decided to give you guys options of songs to play for this chapter because there was so many that I believed applied here.
Over by Johnnyswim
Holding on and Letting go by Ross Copperman
Sad Beautiful Tragic by Taylor Swift
In My Veins by Andrew Belle
This Time by John Legend
Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars
Thank you SO much for all of your love and support.
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~Five years later~
He bent down in front of me, on one knee, and held out a tiny, black velvet box. The top was propped open and a shining diamond stared back at me.
"What are you do-"
"Raelene Ammerman," he started, "I know I've never treated you how I should have, but I do know that I have loved you from the first day I saw you. I now know that it takes a lot for you to say you love someone, but I can not be more thankful that I get to hear those words every day. I'd love to hear them for the rest of my life, so will you do me the honor of letting me become your husband?"
It was impossible to say no to him.
"Yes, of course!" I threw my arms around his neck and he hugged me back tightly.
"You still need to put the ring on," he laughed and I pulled away. Both of our hands were shaking terribly and it took a few tries to get the ring on my finger.
I held my hand up so the candlelight from the table hit it just right and it shone like the diamond it was.
"Oh my God," I murmured.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." I kept my eyes on the ring, my words faint.
"Are you ready to go home?" he asked me. I nodded but didn't let my eyes move from the diamond on my finger. I felt his fingers wrap around my arm gently and tug. I stood up, grabbed my purse and followed my new fiance out to the car. He opened the door and helped me get in.
Since I graduated from James Cook University, only a year ago, I've moved back to Los Angeles. I moved into my old house with my boyfriend, now fiance, and his brother, my ex, lived next door. It was a little awkward, neighbor-wise, but my old boyfriend and I have moved on from each other.
"Get to sleep." He led me into the bedroom and tucked the blankets around me. I was about to protest, I was still wearing my dress, but I instantly fell asleep.
My mind was fuzzy but all I knew was that I had to repeat the officiants words, so I did. I'm not exactly sure what happened next, but I remember that I said 'I do' and so did the man standing in front of me.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."
The man facing me leaned in and I pushed my lips against his, revelling in the familiar feeling. There were cheers and screams and whistling from the audience and I felt myself smile. My new husband took my hand and we walked down the aisle together.
I woke up with a start, the vision of Blake's bright blue eyes quickly fading from my memory. I grabbed the arm of the man beside me, who rolled over sleepily. I needed to see those blue eyes. To reassure and comfort myself.
"Yeah?"
I was greeted by tired blue eyes, but not the ones I wanted to see.
"Sorry, just had a dream that startled me." I rolled back over so my back was facing James. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to remember Blake's bright eyes.
As soon as James' breathing was even, I crawled out of the bed, grabbed my phone, and made my way downstairs. I dialed the number I had memorized and waited a few seconds.
"Hm?" he grunted. My eyes fluttered closed and I leaned my head against the wall in relief and happiness.
"Can we meet?" I asked Blake. I hadn't talked to him since our break up. We were going strong, until that one night that sent me flying back to America and into my fiance's arms. James was there for me and I started dating him again.
"Yeah." I heard Blake yawn on the other end of the line and I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face. I ended the call and quietly slid out the front door, being as quiet as I could to keep from waking up James.
I walked down the familiar road and stopped at the park. It was weird. I was 23 and at a childrens park at one in the morning, meeting my college slash high school flame. While I was engaged. As soon as the last thought crossed my mind, I turned around but I caught a glimpse of a hunched figure sitting on the fountain.
My mind was wiped clear as I started walking to him.
He stood up when he saw me. I had to tilt my head up slightly to look at him and my heart tugged at the familiar gesture.
He knew everything, everything, about me, but we were so distant. I was engaged to someone else, he was dating Jasmine again.
I wanted him to hold me so badly, but I knew it would be wrong. We both knew.
"Are you okay, Raelene?" Blake asked. Just as it had every time before, my voice cracked as I answered.
"I'm great." I wanted to take the words back, or at least replace them with a stronger voice.
"Please don't lie to me," Blake begged.
"I'm really trying to be, okay at least. I know that everything should feel right, feel like it's all falling into place, but it feels like the opposite of that. I feel like everything is wrong and it's falling apart."
Blake reached out his arms, but they fell back to his sides a moment later. I hated that I wanted him to hold me, but more importantly, I hated how I'd feel like I was being put back together if he did.
I shouldn't have called him, I shouldn't be here. I ran my left hand through my hair, a habit I adopted from him.
"I-"
"You're engaged?" Blake interrupted me, eyes glued to the diamond on my finger.
I glanced down to my hand, which was being held my Blake's. His eyes were glued to the ring and I fought to pull it away. When I succeeded, I tucked my hand behind my back. I didn't want him to look at the ring that I always thought would be from him.
"Um, yeah. Yesterday."
"Oh," he whispered, eyes falling to the ground. "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Would you take it back? Us?" The answer was instant, I would always need the memory of him.
"I'd never take it back. Would you?" I ask, afraid of the answer.
"Some parts," he admitted. The silence, comfortable as always, was somehow deafening and I wanted to cry at how distant the two of us had become.
"In case you don't find what you're looking for, or you miss what we had before, or maybe if you change your mind, I'll be here." He breathed in deeply. "Jasmine or not."
I wanted to interrupt him, but a part of me needed to hear this.
"I know that one day I'll have to forget about everything and let it all go, but I need to hold onto the memories, at least for now. I'm not ready to forget about it all."
I was staring at his godlike jawline and he was staring at the stars in the sky.
"I found what I was looking for, but the sad thing is that I don't have it. It really sucks to have found everything you want, but you can't even touch it."
I wanted to listen to his voice go on and on forever, but I knew that we'd have to end whatever was happening, right here and right now.
"I love you," I whispered.
"Why did you leave then?" his voice was broken, and it killed me because I had only heard it like that so many times. I wanted to cry, but I was a woman for Christsakes! I wasn't a naive teenager any longer, but I felt like one with him.
"I know it's selfish, but I hope you miss me. Not in the way that I did better than you, because I've already had the best, so how can I do better? But in the way where you just want to see me because I know that I'm going to miss you like that."
I had barely spoken since I saw him, but just listening to him was enough. I didn't need to speak because he was saying these things for the best of us. Blake stopped speaking and I decided that I should say something right about now.
"Are you going to marry Jasmine?" Once I graduated college, Jasmine tracked me down and apologized deeply for her actions in high school. I still didn't really like her, but I didn't hate her as much as I did in the past.
"I'd rather marry you. Is there any chance that you'll change your mind about James? Because if there isn't and way that you'd change your mind, I'll try to move on as best I can. So is there?"
I kept my silence, knowing that there would always be a possibility that I'd leave James for Blake. Even considering everything that had happened, I'd take Blake back in a heart beat.
I don't know why I'm not telling him my thoughts.
"I made so many mistakes, Raelene. I know that now, I really do. I need you with me. Even tonight makes up for those five years when I barely saw you. I swear to you, come back and I'll give you everything I have. Everything. I know we ended on a sour note, but I want to make it up to you. Everything feels wrong when I can't talk to you everyday, the only thing that will make it right is having you there. I've broken so many promises, but the only ones that matter to me are the promises I made to you and Millie. I promised her that I'd never give up, and I did. I need to make it up to her. And you."
I had moved my eyes to the sky while Blake's started to search my face for any hint of emotion that I tried hiding.
I had fallen for the good boy, I just wasn't going to spend my life with him. It was sad how life treated us. We had everything we've ever wanted and it just backfires in our face, You meet someone who you are totally, completely infatuated with but you don't get to spend you life with them.
"Please come back to me. Please don't say no."
"I guess this is kind of the end for us, isn't it?"
"It's never over with us, Raelene. You know that."
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