× WARNING ×
× depression, suicide, violence are mentioned in this chapter. If you aren't the type who can handle such topics, I advise you to skip the story after this until the second (•••) is shown. Just scroll down and pay attention to the symbol.
P/S: Nahee's being cheesy.....
[edited with ProAid Writing as of December 11, 2021]
———
"You're my boyfriend and I'm your girlfriend."
Her statements surprised him, making he swiftly gazed at her. He observed her faint smile. Her dimples were barely visible.
Jungkook felt his heart thumped fast, it was hammering against his chest rapidly the moment he heard her answer. He had been in the agency for almost 4 years, but he had not met a woman who admitted that he was her boyfriend.
This girl had really made him speechless this time.
"I can trust you and share my story with you, can't I?"
The only action he made was a nod. He was still speechless at how Nahee seemed to take him seriously, although they knew their relationship was only under a signed contract.
Jungkook could not stop himself from having her voice and her smile lingered in his mind when she said her words earlier.
Nahee started her story before exhaling a breath.
"My father died when I was 18," she paused, suddenly remember her father's laugh when he witnessed his children having a childish fight. His deep voice played in her ears as though he were around. It was rare to see her father had negative thinkings, they often saw him laugh just to cheer them up.
"He didn't die because of a sickness or an accident," she continued and then sighed before adding more words. Jungkook studied her expression as she told her story as his curiosity about her father getting more and more heightened.
"He was murdered. My father was murdered," she said.
Jungkook's heart clenched after knowing how his girlfriend's father died. There was the urge inside for wanting to hug her, to comfort because he knew how it felt.
He then noticed Nahee curled her hand into a ball tightly.
"My mother got depressed and grieved for his death for almost a month. A month felt like a year... She hardly ate or spoke to us. She hardly left the house and interacted with our neighbours."
Mentioning her mother, tears left her eyes, rolling down to her cheeks. She remembered how her mother scolded and yelled at her and her brother when they attempted to feed her. She remembered how her mother pushed the food that she tried to give her. She remembered how she cried, thinking of her mother and her state, remembering how her brother often comforts her. She remembered, despite Namjoon comforted her... The sobs she heard from her brother's room, knowing that he cried too and not wanting her to know.
Kim Namjoon might have looked tough, but deep inside, he has soft spots for people he loves.
Jungkook could sense that she was whimpering and sobbing, but she seemed trying her best to endure them by biting her bottom lips.
"Miss Nahee, you don't have to talk about that if you can't."
"No, it's fine. I can," she insisted with a trembling voice. Jungkook let out a soft breath and nodded. Nahee smiled when she got his approval.
Then, there was a long silence.
"He was murdered during a burglary."
Silence again...
"At my house..."
Jungkook was shocked.
"Not at the house I live in, I mean," she said as the last remark had her voice slowly decreasing. She felt like she could read his mind. She was remarking his thoughts, just in case he thought the tragedy happened in the house she currently lived in.
"We're fine. We just came back from shopping that day. I even remember appa bought eomma a necklace in celebration for their 22nd anniversary. And as usual, after coming back from shopping, we talked like how other happy family does. My brother and I had a childish fight, appa laughed and eomma just tried to stop us. Until..." She halted. A flashback of the tragedy played in her mind, and Jungkook got more interested to know.
"... three masked men barged into our house." Nahee heaved a sigh, relieving the urge to sob.
She added, "the burglars were after my mother's necklace. They snatched it from my mother and my father just couldn't let it go. He bought it for her for their anniversary." She sniffed at the end of her words. She continued, "my father then got shot. Accurately at his heart."
"Appa!"
The voice of her and her brother shouted for their father, and the scenario of their father collapsed on the ground played in her mind.
Her sobbings ended up becoming more visible.
"Nahee," Jungkook got up as he said out her name, and then crouching in front of her. He took her hands and softly caressing them to comfort her. It was not like he could hug her while she was sitting on the swing.
Jungkook sighed. "You can stop," he said, half whispering.
She wanted to share the nightmare in the past, but she did not expect that things would end up like this. Maybe she had one step mistake which led her re-imaging the nightmare.
The image of one of the burglar pointed his gun at her father. The image of the burglar pulled the trigger, a loud bang produced after a bullet left the gun's muzzle, voice of her brother and her calling for their father. The image of her father collapsed on the floor as the burglars ran away with the necklace, dreadful image of blood dirtying Mr Kim's shirt, her brother tremblingly held his phone to call an ambulance and her mother and she cried as they told Mr Kim to stay awake.
Wiping her tears as they made eye contact, he smiled softly at her.
"You've done well," he said. "You'd help your mother to move on. You must've gone through a very hard time and you should be glad that you still have your brother and your mother."
She calmed down and tried to speak. "Thanks, Jungkook."
Her words made Jungkook's eyebrows frowned and asked, "for?"
"For listening to my worries. I've been keeping it for so long and it's been bothering me."
Jungkook let out a soft breath as he curved his lips a little, showing his sympathetic look to her. It was nice to have someone thanking you for listening to their worries, however, seeing how Nahee bravely told his past to him, he thought he should tell her too.
"Want to know mine?" He asked.
"If your story is sadder than mine, you better not. Unless you're like me, your side of the story has been bothering you."
She slipped into her mouth. Nahee just thought the way she uttered her words was wrong. If he wants to tell his story, no matter if the story had bothered him long or not, then she should let him. Her emotions almost ruined everything. She mentally slapped herself for that. But she hoped that Jungkook not to take her words seriously.
Jungkook chuckled, "no. My story doesn't really bother me. But..." He paused.
He smiled and added, "you're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend."
Nahee felt something was striking inside her. She realised Jungkook imitated her intonation just now and the way she spoke of her dialogue. It made her smile. She let out an airy laugh when both of them made eye contact.
"I can trust you and share my story with you, can't I?"
Nahee giggled when she felt the resemblance of intonation. She responded to Jungkook by showing him a nod. She wiped the stain of her tears, drying her cheeks and was ready to listen to Jungkook's side of the story.
Jungkook went back to sit on a swing beside Nahee. He swung it for a while, giving the creaking noises from the rusty metal that connected in the supporter. Then, he reflexed his thigh muscles to stop the swing from moving.
"I lost three important people in my life," he paused. "My father and mother. They died when I was fifteen."
Nahee's eyebrows frowned when Jungkook only revealed two people.
"Who's the third?" Nahee questioned.
"My girlfriend," Jungkook replied with a bitter smile. Nahee gasped.
"I'm sorry." Jungkook shook his head and smiled, telling Nahee it was okay.
"My parents died in an accident." He paused. Jungkook chuckled and added, "my life is cliché. Are you sure you want to know?"
"I'm ready to listen," Nahee said. Her comment made Jungkook to widely grinned at her.
"Well..." There was a silence for a moment. Jungkook moved the swing again for once, breaking the silence with the creaking sound of the metal above him. "My parents died because of an accident. My girlfriend..." He paused as his mind replaying the smile of the girl he used to love.
It was painful to remember one thing about her. Even just one little thing.
"Ex-girlfriend, rather," Jungkook muttered and bitterly chuckled.
Expecting for his next revelation, she observed his features, memorising them as though she would need them one day. She knew it was not the right time to do such a thing, but she could not help when there was too much silence surrounded them.
"She committed suicide." For the second time, Jungkook's revelation was shocking to Nahee.
He hung his head low. There was a pang of immense guilt in his heart. He could not stop his former girlfriend from doing such a sin. He lied when he said his nightmare didn't bother him much. He just wanted to hide it.
His nightmare was all about his former girlfriend.
•••
It happened when they were 18 years old. The girl was motherless. Remembering her father was an abuser, it was a depressing view when he once had witnessed her father abusing the girl. Her hair pulled, her cheeks got slapped several times, her body getting kicks.
He was very young back then; he did not dare to go inside and rescue her from the abuser. He only let his tears flowed down from his tear duct.
Her wailings because of pain were ringing in his ears. Yellings from the older man had never failed to echo around the dirty, fragile and old apartment to reach to him from far. It's strange that the neighbours had cared less about what happened in their area, neither helping the girl.
But there was nothing he could compare to himself. Perhaps the community around the area was also as afraid as he was when he was there, but still pitying for the girl's luck.
Bruises could be clearly seen, although she applied a thick foundation or compact powder on her face and arms. He was sure there were more bruises hidden under her clothes. It's painful to know her in that state.
How long had the girl endured such violence? He had no clue. He once rescued her, trying to get her out of the hell. In his mind, he wanted to be her hero.
But his attempts often miserably failed. The girl's father would make reports, telling the police that Jungkook tried to kidnap his daughter. He once got jailed, but luckily, his cousin bailed him out.
And what happened next, when he left the jail, he went back to his girlfriend's house to make another attempt to take her out. But sadly, he saw the girl had hung herself. A rope connected to a ceiling fan and its loop tightly engulfed her neck. Her face showed no sign of blood. Pale and lifeless.
He remembered how his hands trembled, releasing the girl from the loop. He remembered how the girl weakly landed on the floor. He remembered how he carried the girl on his lap. He remembered how his tears continuously left his eyes like heavy rainfall.
"Ga-Gaeun-ah..." He stuttered.
He remembered how desperate he was, wanted her to open her eyes. Slapping her cold cheeks softly, doing the breath aid from mouth to mouth, pumping her chest next. He even pleaded.
But failed.
Failed, failed and failed.
His efforts for her only showed him despair. It hurt him. The girl died in front of his eyes.
That became his nightmare.
Nightmare...
Nightmare...
Nightmare...
•••
"Jungkook."
The female's voice startled him. He buzzed.
"Huh? Sorry." It was the only word that left out Jungkook's lips at the moment.
No trace of tears though, unlike Nahee, who still had her eyelashes damped. After telling his side of a nightmare, he had been staring blankly on the ground as if he just took himself to the nightmare. There was another feeling like he just fell from a tall building, causing his brain a failure to work.
"Are you okay?"
"Erm, yeah."
Nahee sense that Jungkook lied. From the way he told his story, he just ended up being dazed.
She felt sorry for the death of the girl; she felt sorry that the girl had lived with an abuser. It saddened her to know that Jungkook had once seen his girlfriend being abused, he had seen how she died. His story sounded more depressing than hers.
She had her brother by her side when managing their mother. And Jungkook? From the way he told his story, he had gone through them alone.
But why? He has his cousin, didn't he tell Seokjin what happened? Or he didn't trust his cousin enough to tell? Could it because he was waiting for a time like this? Did he hide some more of his story?
The questions which kept on playing in her mind suddenly gone when Jungkook's voice echoed in her eardrums.
"It's getting late." The sight of Jungkook pushing his phone into the pocket of his black jeans inserted into her vision. When he told her about the time, it was not like she cared. She will be alone at home, anyway.
"Your mother is going to get mad if she sees you come home late, isn't she?" Jungkook uttered as he lifted himself up.
Nahee sniffed, pulling in the snot. She told, "my mother's not at home."
"Your brother? Older brothers are always over-protective."
"Tsk, he's annoying," Nahee scoffed. Jungkook laughed at her comment as he noticed her face scrunched as well.
"So that's why you tried to go home alone through the alley?"
"Don't remind me that!" She scolded and Jungkook laughed again. She glared as she watched him laughing at her.
'Man, seeing me cried and yelled at you isn't enough?' Nahee mentally scoffed.
"Let me send you home then," Jungkook offered.
It was not like Nahee could reject his offer in this kind of condition. She stood up.
"Let's go!"
Jungkook chuckled at Nahee's blunt honesty. He often got women would reject his offer. It was surprising to see Nahee who was so honest with her thoughts. He watched as Nahee marched, leaving him at the playground.
Somehow, the girl seemed had amazed him again. He was not the type who would share his secrets so quickly. Perhaps the girl had this power whereas she could charm someone.
He shoved his hands into his pocket and trailed Nahee, who was on her way to his car.
**********
The silence in the car was not as awkward as before, yet there was no music tuned or deejays ranting from the radio. Only silence.
Weird, but they had plastered smiles on their lips. Nahee had been smiling while observing everything that went past the car. Jungkook had been smiling as he drove the car. He also stealthily made glances through the side-view mirror on Nahee's side to see her.
Weird, just a few minutes ago, they just cried, being emotional while sharing each other's stories. They had a deep conversation.
Weird, the silence this time was comfortable. But Jungkook broke it. He wanted to hear her voice before he drops her at her house.
"Nahee."
Nahee turned her head to see him. "Yes?"
"Do you mind if we drop our formalities?" He asked. Nahee raised up her eyebrows, looking at Jungkook as if she was asking him if he really wanted to do that.
Jungkook chuckled, seeing her expression. Nahee also chuckled and said, "well, we should drop our formalities. Why not?"
"I'm your boyfriend, you're my girlfriend."
"I am only seeing you as my best friend," Nahee joked, and Jungkook scoffed.
"Who said she's my girlfriend just now?"
Nahee playfully shrugged, "you got her words wrong, perhaps. She could've meant the gap word between girl and friend."
Jungkook then exaggerating a fake sob. "I got friend-zoned?"
The girl laughed out loud at his expression, formed dimples on two sides of her cheeks. Her laugh was contagious that Jungkook followed suit.
**********
Jungkook pulled the brake, creating the creaking sound in between them. Nahee sighed after she made a glance at him. Then she smiled.
"Thank you."
Jungkook chuckled, "you don't need to thank me. I'm your boyfriend."
Nahee chuckled this time. Remember how deep their talks were that she just created something—they thought—meaningful for both of them.
She then looked at the time that was displayed on the dashboard. It was time for her to go inside the house.
"I'm leaving," Nahee said as she picked up her bag and books, slung it on her shoulder and carrying the books in one arm.
She poked out one of her feet out of the car but she remembered something suddenly.
The hug...
She put her books on the dashboard and wrapped her arms around Jungkook's shoulders. It took aback him as Nahee hugged him tightly.
On this occasion, Jungkook felt Nahee was spoiling him. He loved the warmth and comforting hug. It comforted that almost all of his grievance washed away.
He wrapped his arms around Nahee as well and rested his head on her shoulder. When she felt it was time for her to let him go, she tried to pull away, but Jungkook stopped her.
"Stay like this a little longer," Jungkook said. His voice was hoarse.
The girl softened the moment she heard his voice. She wondered why did it sound pain? Why did it sound as if he hid in a corner of a room, crying for someone or something?
They were only a few days old in the contract relationship, so she did not want to assume something that she did not know other than the pasts that Jungkook shared to her that evening.
Her hand reacted naturally, placing it on Jungkook's back and softly patting him as she tried to deliver the message that everything will be alright through the action.
The action made him hug Nahee tighter. There was the urge inside him about wanting to cry. But he endured it, burying his face in the crook of her neck and tightly closed his eyes.
"Jungkook?" Nahee called worriedly, surprising Jungkook in the embrace. He knew he should pull away by now.
Finally, he let her go. He hung his head low and scratched his cheekbones; he did not realise that a tear just left his eyes. But then he controlled his emotion. He chuckled and looked up.
"Sorry," Jungkook muttered under his breath. "You should go now."
Nahee was unconvinced by the tone and expression that Jungkook let out. She heard his hoarse voice a few moments ago; she saw his meek eyelashes now. However, not wanting to assume many things about him, she nodded her head and left the car even though there was a tug in her heart, telling her to stay more.
She pulled the handle, letting the door open and said, "take care. Good night."
Jungkook smiled at her as the door slammed shut. He waved at her when she looked at him as she approached the gate. She waved at him as well.
The man then left, pushing the brake after changing the gear. He pushed the acceleration pedal.
He thought Nahee amazed him a lot that day. He chuckled when he remembered Nahee wailing and yelling at him. And also, she had made him trusted her, sharing their past for each other.
Time by time, he liked her more and more...
... that he almost forgot that they were contracted boyfriend and girlfriend.
________________________
|| A/N ||
Remember the meme I posted in the first chapter?
Imagine Jungkook exaggerated his sobs like that in front of Nahee XD
And one thing I want to say is that Jungkook and Nahee are humans too, okay? And as humans, we can't get away from how angsty or crazy or depressing our lives are. Get it? But anyway, romantic-comedy the genre of this book, yes it is (─‿─)
——
Supporting cast info (will not add the cast in the OPENING):
Kang Gaeun (강가은) (fictional character)
— Jungkook's girlfriend during highschool
— Died when she was 18 (hung herself)