As our lips touched, I felt nothing. There were no electricity, no spark, not even a tinge of excitement. It was nothing.
When the director said 'cut', and Diana and I moved away from each other, all I could think about was that kiss that James stole from me.
Unlike the emotionless kiss I just had with Diana, that kiss was different, it was the exact opposite.
It was exciting, my heart pounded, and I felt that spark all throughout my body. It frustrated me, it drove me crazy that I felt all of those emotions when he stole that kiss form me that night.
James didn't say anything, he uttered no explanation, and it only confused me even more. He drove me back to my condo in silence, but the loud beating of my heart was deafening.
I couldn't accept what was happening to me, I couldn't understand why I was feeling that way towards him. And I couldn't understand why he kissed me.
He was supposed to be in love with Teo, so why was he playing that game with me? What was he trying to prove? Why was he messing with my head?
I went back to my tent and saw a few messages on my phone, all from Cathy Chua. Despite James' protest, I continued having contact with Cathy Chua, there was no way in hell I would let those two meet.
The crazy notion that Cathy Chua would give in and listen to James was preposterous. James is the total package; smart, rich, out-of-this-world kind, very handsome, sexy... Fuck, I just called him sexy...
What I'm trying to say, is that only a total lunatic of a girl would take a pass on him. And after meeting and learning how forward that Cathy Chua can get, I was convinced more than ever that she would not let him go, she might shackle him if needed just to keep him.
Cathy Chua was inviting me to go clubbing that night, and I was thinking of a great excuse that wouldn't make her suspect that I was getting really tired of being around her. I'm not being mean, but I just had dinner with her a couple of nights ago.
"Ethan..." The production assistant entered my tent. "The director wanted to shoot a few more scenes on location since the weather is so nice today. Will it be alright with you if we extend the shooting for a few more hours?"
"Yeah, sure, I have no plans today anyway." I said instantly. At least I have an excuse to avoid being with Cathy Chua.
I've been out with Cathy Chua more than I would like to be, and I was hoping that it would gain some media traction. Our pictures started surfacing on the social media, but the rumours weren't that strong for the mainstream media to cover it.
I was very careful not to show Cathy Chua my real colours, I tried so hard to act like James when I am with her. I didn't even send her any mix signals. If she falls for me and breaks the engagement herself, I want her to think that it was because of an unrequited love. I didn't want to be involved with another love triangle.
My phone rang again, at first I thought it was another message from Cathy Chua, but it was from James instead. 'Where are you? Are you on set?' he asked.
'Yeah, why?' I replied nervously.
'Where is that? Until what time are you shooting there?' He replied back.
'Why are you asking?' I asked him back. I had no idea what James was trying to achieve. Why was he even asking where I was?
'Just tell me. You know, I can ask Pam instead.'
'You don't know Pam's number. Wait, do you?'
'I got it from Teo.'
Darn it. I gave Pam's number to Teo in case of an emergency and he couldn't contact me. Since Pam is my PA, and she knows almost all of my schedule, I thought it was a great idea at that time.
'Wait, why did you get Pam's number, what for? Tell me first why you want to know where I am.' I replied back.
'Never mind, I know where that is.' He replied.
Oh fuck... What is he trying to do? I can't see him now, not when I am still not over that kiss he stole from me. Shit, why aren't we shooting somewhere far away today?
'You can't go here. Do you want to fuel the rumours going around about you and Diana?' I texted him.
James didn't reply, and it was frustrating. Why is he acting so stubborn all of a sudden? If another rumour about him and Diana go around, I was afraid that his family would keep a tighter leash on him, or worse they might speed up his engagement, and I was already trying so hard to break that up.
The sun was setting and we were still filming on set. It was only then that I learned why James kept on insisting to know where I was.
A van parked near the set and a crew walked out with loads of refreshments from a very famous coffee shop franchise. Everyone was confused and surprised when one of the production assistants approached them and asked what it was for, one of the crew replied 'Mr. Andrada's biggest fan sent for the whole crew.'
That replied solicit ohh's and cheers from the whole crew. Everyone looked delighted. I mean, who wouldn't be. After a long day of shooting, those coffees and cakes were just what everyone needed.
Of course, no one was the happiest, but me. I mean, a fan sent it in my behalf; that was like the biggest compliment there is.
At that time, I still had no idea who it was, and I was afraid that it might be, but when my phone rang and showed James' name, I began to realize the truth.
"So, did I send enough? Did everyone get some? Do they like it?" James asked the moment I answered the phone.
"Are you kidding me? They love it." I couldn't help but smile. "What is all this for, James? Why spend so much money on me?" I asked him.
"I just want to thank you for trying to help me. I mean, I know you're putting your reputation and career on the line just to help me get the freedom that I want. I appreciate it, Ethan, really, thank you." There was something in James' tone that made me feel very suspicious.
"James, what the hell did you do?" I asked him.
James just chuckled. "Nothing... yet. I mean. I talked to Uncle Raphael, and he said he'll support me if ever Granddad does to me what he did to him. I mean, he knows exactly what I'm going through right now."
"Oh god, James, what are you trying to do? I told you, leave it to me. You won't have to marry that woman, you won't have to sacrifice anything; not your freedom, not your family..."
"But I will be sacrificing you." James said.
That stumped me. His voice, that loneliness in it, told me that he cared for me, and it made me confused.
Confused about what I meant to him, what he meant to me.
"James, I swear, if you do anything rash, I would kick your ass. Look, I couldn't live with myself knowing that you got disowned by your family because of a series of events that I stupidly started. So please, before you do anything, just... let's talk it through."
Why do I even care so much about him? I mean I could've stopped at apologizing for the trouble I caused. I don't have to care this much, I don't have to go through all this trouble just to help him. Fuck it, why can't I stop caring about this guy?!
After the shoot, I met James in a restaurant. "Are you hungry? I already ordered some food." He told me as I sat down.
"You..." I hissed at him. "Are you out of your mind? I told you, leave it to me. I'm so close in getting Cathy Chua, can't you wait a little bit more? What about your studies? If you got disowned by your family, who'll pay your tuition? It's not that easy to change the lifestyle you're used to."
"Ethan, relax." James told me with a smile. "I saved enough money to start a small business, I still earn money from the YouTube videos we make, and Uncle Raphael said he would pay for my tuition."
"That's not the point here, James..."
"Why are you so worried about me?" He suddenly asked me. "Didn't you used to hate my guts? Why do you care so much what happens to me now?"
That's exactly what I was asking myself too.
"I don't know." I told him honestly. "Don't ask me that, because I don't know why I care for you so much myself."
"So you care for me." He said with a smile.
Fuck, that's not what I wanted to say.
I cleared my throat and drank some water. "I thought we went over this already, I thought we agreed that you'll let me handle things."
"I don't like the way you're handling things." He told me with a straight face.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Didn't you have a dinner date with Cathy a few nights ago" He said. "Stop it, if she finds out what you're trying to do, she'll ruin your career."
"Wait, how did you know about that? Are you having me followed too?"
"That's not important." He told me.
"Yes, it is." I insisted. "James, how did you find that out?"
"What if she really falls for you, what are you going to do? Are you going to keep on pretending to like her? Even if she does fall for you, we're not sure if that is enough to break our engagement. For families like ours, it's not that simple." He completely ignored my question.
"Look, I'm not trying to make her like me. I'm just doing my best to gain her trust, then after that, I could easily find some things that would disappoint your parents; that would make them disapprove of her."
"Her family's influence is all that matters to my parents." James countered.
"Reputation is important to your family, you said so yourself. If I find out something disgraceful, then..."
"If the Chua's find out what you're doing, then you're done for." James countered again. There's just no winning against this guy.
"Oh god, James we're getting nowhere!" I complained. "Do you want to marry that woman or not?"
"Of course not." James replied.
"Then, that's it. You're not marrying her, you're not getting disowned, so just, for heaven's sake, let me do my thing."
"But what about you..."
"For once, stop being so nice. Stop thinking about other people, think about yourself, your own happiness. There's nothing wrong with being selfish once in a while." I told him.
That's how he lost Teo to Damien because he was so nice and all he could think about was the happiness of his cousin. If I were him, I would have fought hard to get what I want, but his James, he is the nicest guy alive.
It's amazing how he grew up like that while his family is practically a mess.
We were in the middle of our meal when we got a call; James from Clark, and me from Axel. It was probably for the best that they did not know we were together, so we acted as such.
"What? What do you mean Teo got stalker?" I asked Axel over the phone.
"Alright, I'm going back." James told Clark and then looked at me.
"Yeah, I'm free now, I'm going there." I told Axel over the phone.
We left the restaurant in a hurry, and I could see the worry in James' face. Was it because Teo is his friend, or was it because he still had feelings for him?
After hearing what that crazy bastard sent to Teo, I was enraged, I wanted to find him and punch the hell out of him, but then I saw James. I've never seen him like that before. He looked very angry. Like all the kindness left his face and was replaced by loath.
It made me feel sad.
He obviously cares for Teo, but he can never be more to him than just a friend.
We arrived at the condo and as James and me, as we walked down the hall towards their unit, my attention was caught by something else.
Someone just moved in on the unit across Axel and Teo's, I knew that because there was a food delivery man buzzing on the door.
The door was opened by this beautiful girl, she was holding a paintbrush with her gloved hands. "Peter, it's the food!" She shouted.
James was already opening their door when this tall and handsome lad, maybe a bit older than we are stepped out and took the food from the delivery man. I saw his face, and there was something very familiar about it. He resembled someone, I just couldn't remember who.