I took a quick bath after arriving in my dorm. I got only one hour left before the orange code becomes effective once again at hindi pa ako nag-aagahan.
Hanggang dito sa cafeteria ay nanatili pa ring lumilipad ang isipan ko sa atrium extension. Paano ko ba naman magagawa ang sinabi ni Axel kanina kung dahil dito ay mas lumalim lang ang hukay ng mga katanungang gumugulo sa isip ko? And what did he mean by it won't do me good? I need answers to these. Really.
Ilang buwan pa akong mananatili rito sa Heartfilia and I could not just act and pretend everyday that what happened a while ago did not really happen. Like it was just some part of hallucinations. Mababaliw naman yata ako kung ganoon. I have already opened my mind with these questions and I could not just set these aside.
"You seemed to be so tired already Leigh, what's up?" napaangat ako ng tingin sa taong nasa harapan ko and it was Mariane. Tipid ko lamang siyang nginitian. I did not know what to say. I was not even sure if she was aware of the weird thing that was happening here in HA.
I heard her heaved out a deep sigh after taking a sit.
"Para namang palubog na 'yong araw dahil diyan sa mukha mo Leigh. Kakasimula pa lang ng araw oh. Come on, girl! Cheer up. Kailangan mong masanay sa Heartfilia. Matira matibay dito," she told me as she let out a sigh again.
"Masyado lang siguro akong naninibago rito sa Heartfilia, Mariane," tanging sagot ko sa kaniya at tipid ko lang ulit siyang nginitian.
"Ginugulo ka na ba ni Chastity?" pag-uusisa niya at iling lamang ang tanging naisagot ko. Agad naman siyang nangalumbaba at tumingin sa kawalan na para bang ang lalim ng iniisip.
"By the way may nasagap akong tsismis kanina Leigh," aniya at umayos ng upo. I just stared at her and waited for her to continue what she was saying.
"Drop?" she asked and I nodded.
"There were students who saw Nazaire and Axel punching each other outside the H Atrium. Iyong sa likod ng mga dorm," patuloy ni Mariane at agad nitong nakuha ng buo ang atensyon ko. "You know what was funny? Those students who witnessed them fighting did not know whether to call the detention or not," aniya habang pinipigil ang pagtawa.
Does this girl have an idea about the chaos inside the atrium extension?
"Pero alam mo Leigh. Nakakagulat 'yon. Those three, I mean Justine, Axel and President Nazaire, never fought each other. Ito ha," she said as she snapped his fingers, "Base lang sa obserbasyon ko, parang magkapatid na ang turing nila sa isa't isa. Kaya nagulat nga ako kanina nang marinig iyon. At first siyempre, hindi ako naniwala but I saw it with my bare eyes. I saw Axel came out from the clinic with bruises," pagtatapos niya at nagkibit-balikat na lamang ito bago sumandal sa inuupan.
I did not want to conclude but was it because of me? I mean dahil nakapasok ako sa atrium and Nazaire thought that it was Axel's fault? Oh come on! Natutop ko bigla ang aking noo na siyang nakaagaw sa atensyon ni Mariane.
"Bakit Leigh? May problema ka ba? Masama ba pakiramdam mo?" nag-aalalang tanong niya at hinawakan pa ang noo at leeg ko para tingnan kung may sakit ba ako.
"Wala Mariane. It's just that, I don't know. I'm crowded."
"Crowded? With thoughts? Dahil ba sa UNATEX? Nako Leigh, stop overthinking. Saka ka na mag-overthink kapag naglabas na ng schedule para sa midterms. Chill your ass out first," she said as she tried to lift my mood up.
"Anyway Mariane, maiba tayo. Nagreview ka na ba?" tanong ko sa kanya nang maalala na may quiz nga pala kami sa first subject namin.
"Engineering Mechanics?" pagkokompirma niya at agad ko itong tinanguan, "Hmm. Konti lang. Nahihirapan ako. It sucks. I did not even know why I followed my parents and took engineering."
"Bakit? Ano ba dapat ang gusto mo?"
"Mass Communication Leigh. I wanted to write. That's my great dream. To be a well-known author. Pero looks like matatagalan pa ang pag-abot ko sa pangarap ko. Ikaw Leigh? Electronics Engineering ba talaga ang gusto mo?" tanong niya sa akin.
"Uh-huh. I am a stubborn daughter. My parents wanted me to take nursing."
"Oh... Buti pinayagan ka?"
"Not really. When they learned that I enrolled under the engineering department, they left me here."
"I'm sorry to hear that Leigh," paghingi niya ng pasensya.
"Nahh it's fine. Nasa Australia sila ngayon and I'm all here, alone."
Naputol na ang pag-uusap namin ni Mariane nang tumunog ang bell at agad na kaming pumunta sa aming classroom.
Our three subjects for today went on. Nang matapos ang panghuli naming asignatura ay agad kong nilapitan si Fiarrah. I could not let another day pass again without talking to her.
"Fiarrah," tawag ko sa kaniya at agad niya naman akong hinarap.
"I was right. Lalapit at lalapit ka. Save your questions. Let's go," aniya at naglakad na palabas ng classroom. I stood still, unmoved. What did she mean by lalapit at lalapit ako?
"Aleighna," she called out at doon lang ako naglakad palapit sa kaniya.
She brought me in an empty room. Sa tingin ko ay hindi na ito ginagamit. At first, I hesitated to enter, pero wala na rin akong nagawa dahil sa mga binitiwan niyang salita.
"If you want your queries to be answered, this room is the best place. We cannot stay outside."
"I have a limited time Leigh. Since I let you attend the meeting that was supposed to be for the class president's only, the SCB had been monitoring me and I'm pretty sure that they know that we are here right now," agad niyang panimula nang makapasok kami sa classroom na iyon.
"But do not worry. This room is soundproof and there is no CCTV camera here since this room is already unused," she continued.
"Okay Leigh, alam kong napapaisip ka kung bakit ikaw o kung bakit kita pinapunta sa meeting. Leigh, I want everything to stop. The moment that you enter Heartfilia and go against Nazaire, I saw you as a hope. I want everyone here to stop sacrificing Leigh I want a normal life!"
Pareho kaming nagulat ni Fiarrah nang biglang kumalabog ng malakas ang pintuan. Tuloy tuloy ito at walang tigil at para bang handa nang sirain ng nasa labas ang pintuan.
"Leigh listen," pag-agaw ni Fiarrah sa atensyon ko at nababakas ko na ang pangamba sa kanyang mukha,"If it happens na hindi mo na ako makita rito, please don't fail me-"
Agad na napatigil si Fiarrah nang marahas na bumukas ang pintuan at nagdulot ito ng nakakabinging ingay.
Iniluwa ng pinto ang dalawang lalake at hindi ko sila nakikilala. Pero agad na nanalaytay ang kakaibang kaba sa akin.
Matalim na tiningnan ng isa si Fiarrah at ang isa nama'y natuon ang pansin sa akin.
I tried to stay still kahit na nanalaytay na sa buong sistema ko ang kaba na ibinibigay nitong dalawa. Hindi ko rin halos maintindihan kung bakit nararamdaman ko ito. They were just students, too. Biglang napako ang tingin ko sa kanang dibdib ng isa. He has a golden badge. Ibinaling ko ang tingin ko sa isa at ganoon din siya. Higit na umigting ang kabang nararamdaman ko dahil rito. It was so rare seeing students with a gold badge. Everything about them screams authority. Just by their presence alone, parang aatras ang kung sino mang kakalaban sa kanila. Sila ba ang pinakamataas? Dahil tindig pa lamang nila ay tila sumisigaw na ng kapangyarihan. Looks like they are higher than the royal blue badge, than the SCB but how? Estudyante lang din naman sila katulad namin or... is this what I think they are?
"Orange code ngayon, what are you guys doing here?" tanong ng isa na siyang nagpabalik sa akin sa kasalukuyan.
Sandali kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko habang sinusubukang isipin itong nasa harapan ko at ang panibagong pangyayari na kinasasangkutan ko.
Is this even possible? Na may iba pang grupo ng estudyante ang namamagitan sa school personnel at sa SCB officers?
"Nagre-review and you came banging that door ruining the peace that this room gives us," seryosong pahayag ko habang pinipigilang kumawala ang kakaibang kaba na nararamdaman ko.
At the back of my mind is the big question that these two is giving me. Who? Are? They?
"Totoo ba iyon?" baling niya kay Fiarrah at tanging pagtango na lamang ang naisagot nito.
She seemed so nervous. Are they the ones monitoring her? Damn! I can now conclude that everything here in Heartfilia is a mess!
"Nasaan ang mga libro niyo?" tanong pa ng isa and that was the the shallowest and most unbelievable question that I have heard since I went here!
"We do not always have to depend on the book and that's one thing Heartfilia Academy should learn. Excuse us," ani ko, because seriously, of all the questions that they could ask us it just ended up to be this.
Kinuha ko na lamang ang bag ko at hinila si Fiarrah palabas ng room na iyon.
Nang marating kami sa groundfloor ay saka lang ako nakahinga ng maluwang at sa tingin ko ay ganoon din si Fiarrah.
"Saan mo nakuha ang mga palusot na iyon Leigh?" tanong niya sa akin at kumpara kanina ay mas maayos na ang mood niya. Kibit-balikat na lamang ang tangi kong naisagot at bahagya kaming natawa pareho.
"Pero Leigh, seryoso, that's all I can tell you. I need to go," aniya at mabilis na humakbang pero bago pa man siya makalayo ay agad kong nahawakan ang braso niya.
"Fiarrah, their badges," ani ko dahil hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula.
"They belong to the highest," aniya kasabay ng pagtanggal ng pagkakahawak ko sa kaniya at mabilis na naglakad palayo.
I was again left all alone in the middle. Dumbfounded and still clueless.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit dito ako sa library dinala ng mga paa ko. Pumwesto ako sa pinakasulok kung saan malayo sa ibang estudyante. I need to think farther. I need to go deeper and beyond. My entire system would not just calm down. Paano ko magagawang balewalain ang lahat ng ito kung sa bawat pagtatanong ko at pag subok na makahanap ng sagot ay panibagong tanong lang ang natatanggap ko?
"Lowrie!" bigla akong napaangat ng tingin nang marinig ang boses na iyon. It was Chastity. "Ilang oras mo ba balak na makipagtitigan diyan sa bintana? Do you really want to have the last warning now?"
"Bakit hindi mo gawin?" I dared her.
Kung tama ang hinala ko, hindi nila ako mabigyan ng pangatlo at panghuling warning dahil ayaw nila akong papuntahin sa detention office ngayon.
"I would really love to stay in the detention office now," dagdag ko pa na siyang nagpabago sa ekspresyon ng kanyang mukha.
Bahagyang napaawang ang bibig niya at bahagya rin siyang napaatras. Walang ano-ano ay iniwan ako ni Chastity. And that was my confirmation!
Kagabe ang sabi niya, iba ang pamamalakad sa detention tuwing nakataas ang code sa academy. At kanina lang ay nakakita ako ng mga estudyante na may gold badge. The SCB officers were also roaming around to check if there were violators. Nakita ko si Nazaire kanina habang nakatingin ako sa labas. Ang ibig sabihin lang nito, ang mga gold-badged students ngayon ang namamahala sa detention.
Nagmadali akong tumayo nang mapagtanto ang bagay na ito. Dire-diretso lang akong nagtungo sa 7th floor kung nasaan ang detention office. Habang naglalakad ay ramdam ko ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso ko.
I was not sure if my conclusion was true but if I really wanted to solve the puzzle that Heartfilia Academy was giving me, I must do this.
"Hmmmmmmmm," agad akong nagpupumiglas nang may biglang humila sa akin at nagtakip ng bibig ko nang makarating ako sa 6th floor.
Hindi ko alam kung saan niya ako kinakaladkad but damn! This one holding me was just too strong! Isang tao lang ang pumasok sa isip ko. Si Nazaire Bernards! Pinilit kong tingnan kung sino man ang taong ito ngunit dahil sa dilim ay hindi ko siya makita o mamukhaan man lang.
Ang huli kong nakita bago kami balutin ng dilim ay ang pagpasok namin sa tila isang secret passage. Patuloy pa rin ang nagpupumiglas ngunit hindi ako makatakas sa pagkakahawak niya.
"Fuck! Who are you!?" agad na sinabi ko nang alisin niya ang kamay na nakatikip sa aking bibig. Pero hindi niya pa rin ako binibitawan.
"Leigh calm down! Si Axel to!"
Bigla akong napatigil sa paglalakad nang marinig siyang nagsalita. It was true. Kilala ko ang boses ni Axel and it was really him.
"I will tell you, okay? I will tell you what you deserve to know, but please! Please owe me and stop afterwards!" ramdam ko ang frustration sa boses ni Axel.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ko ito sasagutin. Nanatili pa rin ang pagkakahawak niya sa akin ngunit hindi na ito kasing-higpit kumpara kanina. Kadiliman at katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin. Ngunit tila nag-uunahan ang mga tanong sa isipan ko na gustong-gusto nang magkaroon ng sagot.
I came back to reality as soon as I heard him open a door and slammed it hard after we entered.
"What the hell you think you were doing?" he said out of frustration while loosening his tie.
Ginulo-gulo rin ni Axel ang buhok niya at sinundan ko na lamang ang pigura niya habang naglalakad patungo sa isang silid. I guess it was a kitchen, dahil nakakarinig ako ng tunog ng baso.
Pinagmasdan ko ang kabuuan ng silid kung nasaan man kami ngayon. Its entire wall was gray. Wala itong kadise-diesenyo maliban sa ilang painting na nakasabit. Mayroon din dito isang mahabang sofa. At first I thought it was his room but there was no other doors here that indicates a room except for the one where we entered.
Oh crap. I forgot about the other door that Axel went through. Pero kung tutuusin mukha lang itong isang sala. No other rooms. No television. Just a sofa. Just three paintings and just the kitchen.
"Leigh hindi mo ba alam na isang suicidal act ang ginawa mo?" naagaw ni Axel ang atensyon ko at agad akong napalingon sa pinaggagalingan ng boses niya.
"No one is allowed to go to the 7th floor. You should know that Aleighna! Hindi mo ba binasa 'yong laman ng brown envelope na binigay sa iyo during your first day here?" patuloy niya pa.
I could feel his frustration.
"Orange code Aleighna, and whatever code we have as long as there are stickers, do not dare to set your foot on the 7th floor. Hindi namin hawak ang detention Leigh. Hindi ka namin mapoprotektahan. Hindi namin kayo kayang protektahan oras na sumuway kayo sa mga araw na may coding ang Heartfilia."
"Why do you have to protect us?" tanong ko na siyang nagpatahimik sa kanya. A long silence then enveloped us. I looked at Axel straight into his eyes but he stared away.
At this point of time alam kong may mali sa Heartfilia Academy at tama nga ang hinila ko kung bakit hindi nila ako mabigyan ng third warning, na kung tutuusin, mas higit na doon ang violations ko. Isang napakalaking violation ang pagpasok ko sa atrium extension but they set that aside. It already came from them that that place is off limits from the Heartfilia's students. And even if entering the place is intentional or not, I still broke one of the rules that they imply.
They knew that once I got there, magtatanong at magtatanong lang ako and maybe, just maybe, I would find the answers there.
"From time to time nililibot namin ang buong campus," he continued without minding my question, "We have to make sure that no one is going against the HA's rules and if there is, we have to make sure that it remains there at hindi na makarating pa sa kanila."
"Who are they?" singit na tanong ko sa kaniya kahit may ideya na ako na ang tinutukoy niya ay ang mga estudyanteng kulay ginto ang badge.
Ibinalik ni Axel ang tingin niya sa akin at ang mga binitiwan niyang salita ang nagdala ng kakaibang kilabot sa akin.
"The Imperium," matalim na saad niya, "hindi ba't nabanggit na sa iyo ni Louise ang tungkol sa isang estudyante rito na pinatay last year. That's true. He did not commit suicide. He was killed. Marami nang alam ang taong 'yon Leigh! He was about to go to the highest authority but he did not make it. He was caught in the middle of his way and it was too late for us to save him."
Isang malalim na buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ko. Tila nanlamig at nanigas yata ako sa kinatatayuan ko.
"Then wh-why are you telling me these things? For me to get killed like him?" Nauutal na tanong ko. Ewan ko ba. Bigla na lamang akong kinakabahan.
"Of course not!" napaatras ako dahil sa biglang pagtaas ng boses ni Axel.
I did not expect that a jolly Axel Belmonte could raise his voice that high. Parang nakikita ko na naman ang Axel na nakita ko sa loob ng atrium extension. The fearless Axel. The monster-like Axel.
"Leigh, sinasabi ko ito ngayon sa'yo dahil gusto kong tumigil ka na. I want you to stop letting your curiosity control you. I can feel that you are concern with the students here in Heartfilia but Leigh, you have to put in mind that your duty as a student council is bound only in Karringstyn University. And once you are here in our territory, everything is on our shoulder. Aleighna, kung gusto mong makabalik pa sa Karringstyn, start distancing yourself from what is happening inside this premises."
Mahigpit kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko habang pilit na iniintindi ang mga binibitawang salita ni Axel. Bakit ba sa halip na maliwanagan ako ay panibagong katanungan lang ang naidulot nito sa'kin?
A question suddenly came out from my mouth. A question that I never thought I would ask.
"Who are you?"
Isang tipid na ngiti ang ibinigay sa akin ni Axel bago sagutin ang tanong ko.
"I am one of the keepers Aleighna," aniya. Hindi ko maintindihan ang ibig niyang sabihin. Keepers of what? Gustong-gusto ko itong itanong sa kaniya but I failed to do so. Tila nawalan ako ng lakas ng loob as soon as he looked at me straight into the eyes. He was full of sorrows, of pain and his soul looked so tired.
"Aleighna Lowrie, in behalf of Justine and most especially, Nazaire, I am begging you to stop. Huwag mong sisirain ang pinaghirapan naming tatlo. Please do not make our sacrifices go for nothing. We want these things to end Aleighna, so please," kitang kita ko ang pagsusumamo sa kanyang mga mata. Hindi ako makagalaw sa kintatayuan ko, "distance your self. Dahil sa oras na makialam ka pa ulit, hindi na sila magdadalawang-isip. Lalong-lalo na si Weiss."
"A-axel," nauutal na saad ko habang pilit ko pa ring kinakapa ang mga gusto kong sabihin at itanong, "a-anong nangyayari rito sa Heartfilia Academy?"
"It is worse than you think it is. This is the reason why the SCB never wanted this academy to be part of the exchange student program. Ayaw namin ng may ibang nakakapasok dito dahil ayaw naming may iba pang madadamay. For three years, kinalaban namin ang kagustuhang ito ng board but this year, hindi na kami pinagbigyan pa ng mga Heartfilia and that is why you are here," paliwanag niya na lalo lang nagpagulo sa aking isipan.
Pero bakit ngayon pakiramdam ko ay isang napakalaking gulo ang papasukin ko kapag nagkataon?