"Tangled in the past of a forever with my lucid dreaming; lost the warmth of my nightmares."
☆☆☆
MASON WILLIAM'S POV
She was back in my arms.
My darling, my love, my everything.
She was back with me and I won't let her go, ever again.
These past few weeks were like a knife repeatedly stabbing my cold heart.
My soul was filled with rapture, captured and hold by this little angel.
She has me in every way possible.
The way her cute little pink nose was snuggling in my chest, seeking closer to the heart that was hers and always will be hers, made my body shiver in delight.
Her arms were tightly folded around my waist as if she had also missed me, but not as much as I've missed her.
I buried my face in her throat, nipping at the warm flesh. The aroma teasing my nostrils in the most pleasant manner, making me sigh out in utter delight. I adore her smell...
Forest after rain yet so sweet.
My mouth watered, making me gulp.
"We need to talk", the sweet voice of my angel, vibrates against my chest.
I didn't want to let go of this moment yet. I'm afraid that if I let her go she'll leave me, but I won't let her.
I only hold her closer, making an 'hngrr' sound in approval.
"Did you really just growl? What are you? A dog?", she jokes, snickering in herself, looking as cute as ever.
Your dog.
Only yours, baby.
She retracts her arms from my waist and before I could complain and throw she already takes my hand into her tiny palms.
"Let's go", she cheers, taking the lead. I only follow her, smiling widely for the first time in weeks.
She could take me anywhere if only I'm with her, I'm happy.
She's my happiness.
☆☆☆
"You begin", we say together.
We were both sitting on my double king size bed in my room which she hasn't entered for a while. I saw her eyes darting off to the bed several times as if she was remembering some things.
I couldn't sleep without you, baby.
She probably doesn't know how many times I've snuggled into the pillow she slept on just because it had her smell on it.
"You can begin", I offer her.
"O-okay", she stutters nervously, a lovely shade of deep crimson creeps up her cheeks. "Soooo...."
"So?"
"I... you... how... URGHH! DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH LEAH?", the sudden change of voice makes me almost jump off the bed.
A relationship with Leah?
Wait.
"Who's Leah again?", I ask confused, deeply thinking back in the memories of my mind.
Her mouth gapes open in shock before her face rests into one of those scary scowls.
"That beautiful girl who always accompanies you to the meetings", she exclaims in a duh-voice.
Oh.
I always forget her name. I thought her name was Stephanie or Sarah.
"No, I don't have a relationship with her", I spoke a V forming between my brows. "Why'd you think that?"
Confusion is clearly written on my face.
"You slept with her, but you're saying that you don't have a relationship... OHW! Or is it as friends with benefits?", she states, thinking deeply.
"I-", she cuts me off before I could even say a word.
"I totally forgot it, you don't have friends so is it as... boss with benefits?"
Boss with benefits? I almost want to laugh at her naive self if it wasn't for me to be in shock with what she said.
"I slept with Steph-... Leah?", I ask, hurt tainted between my words.
"Everyone in the office knows about it. She even told it herself", she replies, not looking up to meet my burning hurt gaze.
I was lost for words. I needed a moment to place all my thoughts in order again.
"Do you believe that?", I ask her, narrowing my eyes.
"I-I...", she stops for a second, taking a deep breath before talking on a steady tone. "Yes, I do."
My heart was shaking madly.
"Why", the words only come out as a silent whisper.
Her big bewildered eyes look up, meeting my grey orbs.
"After you went to the meeting with her you didn't come back home. You were away for the whole n-night", she stutters and for the first time I could hear her voice crack in sadness and vulnerability. Her eyes started to water, but she quickly masks it.
The thought of her sad makes my heart ache in pain, but seeing her break in front of me was something else... it was beyond words. The unbearable pain I felt was unknown and unable to put in words.
"I didn't come home, because I didn't want to see you", I explain, going with my hand in my hair from all this frustrating shit.
"You d-didn't want to see me?", she breathes out, a tear escaping the corner of her eyes.
I quickly want to wipe her tear, but before my fingers can touch her skin she already pulls her head back in disgust.
My heart breaks all over again.
I immediately cup her face into my hands, forcing her to look up. More tears escape her eyes, flowing over her cheeks covered with freckles. She looked up with her sad green eyes and a pink bright nose.
"Yes, I didn't want to see you", I spoke, looking right in her eyes.
She closes her eyes tightly in disbelief as if she wanted to disappear from this world.
"D-don't please", she pleads in full vulnerability. Her breathing started to become uneven and heavy as if she would pass out any second now.
I was hurting her again.
Every single cell was shuddering in fury, all with me.
I had hurt the only important person in my life again. I had let her down again.
A flashback from her disgusted eyes are still haunting me.
"No, you don't you must think that this is Love, but it's not", she abruptly snaps, standing in the obsidian of the room.
My eyes were laying on the figure in the dark shallow, my heavy heart beat filling the room. I could only concentrate on the aching pain which was coming from all over my body.
I get off the bed, walking to her. I come to a halt right in front of her. We were only a breath away from each other.
I need to tell her.
"Princess", I breathe out, breathlessly, trying to regain all my courage, but she was my courage. "I'm so fucking in love with her."
After saying it she still won't look up. I take a hold from her chin, finally forcing her to look up.
My eyes bored right in to her forest green orbs which were only portraying the warmth of guilt.
"Let me rephrase this", she spoke her face now blank and emotionless. "You can't love me."
Her voice bounces in my mind, replaying it all over again and every time it's as if she's repeatedly stabbing a knife into my cold heart.
"Why?", I ask my voice cracking in pain.
"Because I'm not good for you!"
"You are! You are everything I want, everything I need! I am the one who doesn't deserve you!", I stammer out, hopelessness on the tick chore of my voice.
She doesn't want me? It's only normal. I'm the beast, no one could or ever will love me.
I'm not worthy of love.
"Are you leaving me?", I ask, distress eating me alive.
Please don't, I can't live without you.
"I...", she stops for a second. "I need time."
Those words were enough to turn my whole world upside down.
She really doesn't want me.
"Okay", I sigh out.
I didn't feel anything anymore. My body was numb, so was my heart.
My mind felt blank, completely blank.
"You're still my assistant so you still need to show up at work. You can still stay with me, but if you don't want it you can stay somewhere else."
My tone was cold and hard, but I didn't feel anything.
"Faye, just forget what I said earlier if it bothers you. It's nothing."
A rancorous taste spread on my lips, all by the appellation of her name: Faye.
"Yes, I didn't want to see you", I repeat, my hands dropping from holding her cheeks.
She didn't say anything back, her eyes overflowing with an ocean of tears.
A silence started to form between us. I wanted to cherish her, but she will never love a beast like me. It's only better for me to stay away from her.
She finally breaks the silence.
"D-don't you love me anymore?", she chokes on her tears.
The question completely takes me aback.
"Of course I still do", I immediately blurt out. "I didn't want to see you, because I was afraid I couldn't hold myself in and you would hate me. I don't want you to leave me."
"You couldn't hold yourself in?", she asks in between sobs.
"I was afraid another part of me will come out to claim you and do things you don't want to do", I try to explain.
Her mouth gapes open in shock and comprehending. She knew the other part was my beast.
"You still haven't answered my question", she points out.
"Which question?"
"Did you sleep with Leah?"
"No, I haven't", I answer truthfully.
The only one I would ever want to share a bed with is you, my love.
Her face rests in confusion. She was thinking deeply.
"I went to the gym to steam off after that I didn't want to come home so I slept in my car", I explain why I didn't come home.
She nods, but it seems as if something still bothered her.
"But... why did you give my bracelet to Leah?", she hesitated to ask.
"Bracelet?", I ask in confusion.
"The lion bracelet I gave you in my apartment", she replies, looking down in utter disappointment.
"I will never do that", I exclaim, checking my wrist which was...
Bare?
I couldn't believe my eyes. How did the bracelet I cherished most disappear. I knew something was missing.
A guilt trip started to form in the pitch of my stomach.
I've lost the first and only thing my love has ever given me.
"I don't get it", I utter in disbelief.
"So you didn't give it to her?", she asks, hope filling her lungs.
"Yes", I cup her hands in mine. "I'll never share something that's mine."
"And... am I yours?", her voice was silent to a sweet whispered chirp.
A swell grows in my heart.
"Do you want to be mine?", I ask, my eyes lingering on her full lips.
"Yes, I want to be yours", her voice was filled with longing and lust and those words were enough to give me a bit hope...
Maybe the beast could be loved.
My thoughts get cut off by the feeling of warm soft lips touching mine for a second, a soft peck.
I was completely bewildered. She has kissed me? A foolish grin grows on my lips.
I am the happiest man on earth.
My eyes were set on her bright red face. She was blushing madly in embarrassment.
My lips touch hers one more time, swooping her in my arms before claiming her lips into a sweet, sweet kiss.
Yes, she was mine.
Those weeks of torture were enough to drive me into my own craze.
I can't live without her.
Our lips part from each other before my voice whispers into her ear: "I love you, my princess."
☆☆☆
HI LOVELIES!
I have a really important question to ask.
Would your rather...
1. That I update far more, but the chapters will be short
Or
2. That I update less, but the chapters will be long
Question of the day
What is your favorite season?
Mine is autumn and winter. I really can't choose between them both.
Not important, but I just want to share...
I stayed home a couple of days, because I didn't feel well and in those days I felt bored as hell so I decided to watch some Thai lakorns/series, because it has been a while and when I was younger I had a crazy obsession with Thai series.
OH MY! Why are they so dramatic! I literally died out of laughter. Every plot from every serie is literally so dramatically set and Mario Maurer,oh I died, he's my new husband.
If you watch any Thai series we really need to get to know each other. I literally want to fangirl with someone and if you saw the yearly actors football from ch3 yesterday (oh my, Mario, my husband made a goal) Let's become best friends.
XOXO
LOVE YOU