⚠Trigger Warning: graphic mentions of miscarriage⚠
Normani Kordei Hamilton-Knowles
"I personally don't think you're pregnant Mani." She said and I stood up to brush my teeth.
When I was finished, she wrapped her arms around my waist, placing her hands on my stomach. "You're not pregnant."
"How do you know that though?" I asked. I know what I felt and I thought that I was pregnant, why doesn't she?
"'Cause I know my wife and I know your body, you're not pregnant." She said.
"Explain the throwing up and the pain in my stomach then."
"I can't explain it, I'm not no doctor but you can't just diagnose yourself with pregnancy. That's why we're going to the OB/GYN tomorrow so we can see if you're actually pregnant."
"Do you want me to be pregnant?" I asked, skeptical of her answer.
"That's not the point Normani, the point is, I don't think you're pregnant but we'll see." She shrugged her shoulders.
"Hm. That's funny."
"What you mean?" She asked. She moved her hands off of my waist and turned me around so we were looking at each other.
"I'm just saying. It's funny how your answers align up. If I would've asked you a year ago, you would be real happy about the situati-"
"You don't know that."
"Yes I do, nigga I asked you if you wanted to have another baby last year and you said yes so I do know. Don't ever cut me off again unless you got your shit together." I rolled my eyes but she just smiled. I'm not smiling, I'm pissed off 'cause she's acting the exact same way that she acted when I was pregnant with Kordei.
If I actually am pregnant, what the hell is she going to do then? Her ass should've just told me that she didn't want anymore kids the moment she found that out instead of letting her pull out game be weak as fuck and end up with more kids than she wanted. Period.
"What you smiling for? Every time there's an actual situation, you start laughing, what the hell you so happy for?" I asked, clenching my jaw.
"'Cause I know what I'm talking about and you can say whatever you want but I'm not worried about it. Say what you want Mani." She kissed my temple and left me there in the bathroom with her stupid ass. Why would she leave me in here by myself?
"Guess who dumbass won't be getting no more pussy for the rest of her life?" I mumbled, rhetorically.
I walked out of the bathroom and was instantly greeted to my children and my wife, playing around in our bed. It was a cute moment, I couldn't help but to smile even though I was mad at her, I took a picture anyway.
Heaven ran out of the bed and ran over to me, hugging my legs. Heaven and I didn't have the relationship that her and Beyonce had but that's still my baby girl, I still love her.
I picked her up and kissed her cheek. "When the hell did y'all come here?"
She shrugged her shoulders like she didn't know what I was saying which I believe she didn't. I hugged her and laid down on the bed, lifting her into the air.
"Wassup baby girl?"
"Heyyy!" She yelled then squealed when I took my hands off of her, throwing her in the air then catching her afterwards.
I could see Beyonce looking at me, staring at me and I knew that she knew that she was in the doghouse so fuck her sexy ass stares right now.
The next day when the time came to go to the OB/GYN, I was still pissed off at her even when she tried to make me comfortable or tried to do everything she could to make sure that I was alright with everything. I was still pissed though, it doesn't matter what she does right now.
"Baby, you can't still be mad at me." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and placed a kiss on my temple.
"Well I am."
She sucked her teeth. "For real, I'm serious."
"I'm serious as well, why you think I'm playing? You basically told me that you doubted that I was pregnant and I get that part but the part I don't get is you acting like you're not ready for another kid when you were the one that told me that you wanted more. I never told you that so the fact that you were lying or are lying is just pissing me off. What's up with that Bey?" I asked, turning towards her.
Luckily, I don't have to worry about being too loud since the kids were with my mom.
"I never acted like I didn't want another kid, I was just telling you that I don't think you're pregnant. If we do have another child, cool, I'm fine with that but if we don't that's cool as well. It doesn't matter to me and if you felt like I was acting that way towards you, I'm sorry and I been trying to tell you that all night but you weren't listening. I already know how it is with babies for us and the situation still hurts but if we have a baby or not, I'm fine with anything."
She placed her hand on my cheek then pecked my lips. "I never meant for it to come out as disrespectful."
"It's okay." I smiled against her lips, my attitude disappearing.
It was like that with Beyonce. One explanation and I was back into her arms but I damn sure ain't stupid. I dare her to fuck up.
She held my hand when we got to the OB/GYN and inside the office. I didn't really want to change into that ugly ass gown but apparently, I had to. So Beyonce held my clothes and the doctor wasn't even in here at the moment.
"I'm getting tired of this shit, I don't even know if I'm pregnant and I gotta change." I sucked my teeth.
"Calm down baby, it's not that serious. You already know how the doctor's office goes."
"I know but damn, I gotta keep doing this shit and it's annoying." I rolled my eyes.
When the doctor came in, she was smiling and I could tell that Beyonce had an attitude about it and I don't even know why. She always does that, anytime there's a doctor around, she's mad.
"Hi, why are the two of you here today?" She asked.
I started to talk but Beyonce cut me off quickly. "We're here to see if she's pregnant."
She looked between the two of us but I already knew what was up. Beyonce was jealous for nothing and now I can see that I'll probably never see this woman again.
"Uhm okay, is there any reason as to why that you think she might be?"
Before she could say anything, I told her that I'd been throwing up for two mornings and some nights prior and that my stomach had been hurting.
She nodded her head and she told me that I had to pee in a cup so I did and she took it so now Beyonce and were waiting in here. She just sat there on her phone, didn't even say a word to me. I don't even know why, what did I do to her?
"Baby come here." I reached out for her.
"Huh?" She looked up from her phone, squinting her eyes at me. "What you said?"
"I said come here."
She walked over to me then placed a kiss on my forehead. "What you want?"
"Nothing, I just wanted you to come over here, like why you not talking to me?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous." She mumbled.
The doctor came back in with some papers in her hands. I couldn't read the look on her face when I wanted to, I wanted to know if she was happy that we 'were pregnant' or if she was sad that we 'weren't pregnant'. I could tell that Beyoncé had grown more nervous than she was before just by the way she stood up with her hands on her thighs.
"Do you want them or..." She lingered and for the first time, I looked at her name tag. Jordan.
"You can read 'em." Bey said.
"Okay, you're not pregnant-"
"So why was I throwing up and all that?"
"If you'd be quiet, maybe she would tell you. Be quiet Normani." She said and I glared at her before flicking her off, making Jordan laugh.
"Y'all are cute."
"Thank you." Bey said. "Can you tell us the reasoning for her throwing up?"
"There are some cases of the flu, this one, where she may not look sick but her immune system is sick so she could be feeling well some days but others, she could feel like, excuse my language, shit. That virus causes her to throw up and makes her stomach feel hard because of what she's eating in certain areas. She isn't pregnant."
"Like I said." She mumbled.
"Beyoncé, make me slap the shit outta you."
"Didn't I say that though?"
"Shut up. So you're saying I'm sick and I don't even know it?"
"Yes. It's not airborne or anything but seeing to it that the two of you are together, she may be sick as well." She said.
"What you mean?"
"If you two have kissed or anything, you could be sick as well." She said and I smiled.
"Good. So if you take care of me, I'll take care of you."
"Cute."
•••
"I'm sick so you should show me some love." I said, rolling over onto Bey.
She was paying more attention to her damn game than she was to her sick ass wife. I didn't even know I was sick but I don't care, as long as I don't look like shit, I'm cool. I'm not used to this throwing up shit though.
"Move Mani."
"No, tell me you love me."
"I love you with everything in me, now move." She said, patting my butt.
I shook my head and climbed on top of her, leaning down to her. She couldn't even see the TV anymore so I knew she was going to be mad at me. She loves that damn game.
I kissed her lips and she sucked her teeth. "I swear to God, if you get me sick-"
"I'mma get you sick either way so it don't matter, I'mma be all up under you either way." I said.
She tossed the controller and grabbed my ass, kissing my lips. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"This sick shit is weird, you don't even look sick my nigga." She said.
"'Cause I'm not."
"But you be throwing up and shit, that's so nasty."
"And you gon' take care of me or you won't be getting no pussy for the rest of your life." I turned my head to the side and she turned me over on my back, kissing me.
"If I want it, I'mma get it."
"Don't say that, that shit sound sooo rapey."
"It do though." She said and we both started laughing. "That shit sound mad weird."
"Then don't say it again. Now back to our conversation."
"What was it about?" She asked and started smiling.
I smiled along with her, placing my hand on her cheek.
I was relieved that I'm not pregnant but at the same time though, I might have wanted another baby but I felt like we weren't ready right now. When we are ready, we'll have another baby.
"When are we going to get the kids from your mom?" She asked.
"Monday morning since they don't go to school Monday." I said and she nodded, leaning down to kiss my cheek and neck. I rubbed her back. "Did you actually want another baby?"
"With the scare of Angel, not right now. I'm too scared to have another baby and even though it's been 5 years, that shit is still so scary. What if we miscarry again? That's scary." She said and I smiled.
"We?"
"We in this together babe, whatever happens to you, happens to me so you should already expect that. Angel is really our angel and I don't wanna lose another baby." Her voice cracked.
"Baby, don't cry, don't cry." I lifted her face from my neck and saw her crying.
She hasn't cried that much over the death of Angel and at first it scared me but I could see that it hurt her as much as it hurt me.
"That shit hurt babe."
"I know, it hurt me too, so bad and we're still 'working' on it. I love you." I wanted to lighten the mood or something.
"I love you more."
*************
I won't say much cause I know what's about to happen y'all 🌚