Harry doesn't even wait 24 hours before messaging Tash, convincing himself that writing to her the moment he got home was far too pushy and judging by what Jamie had told him about her luck in relationships, he really didn't want to make her run from him. He had written and rewritten the message a hundred times before lunch the next day before he finally settles on something simple but open ended so that she may feel the need to respond.
*Hey, it's Harry, how do you feel about Chinese food?*
*Hi! Well, apart from the fact it's probably my favourite food in the whole wide world... I guess I'm impartial.*
He grins at his phone, her text coming through merely moments after his and he is a little relieved that she's not the type to play long drawn out games of making the other wait and playing hard to get.
Although he's been sleeping with woman who he meets out or that come into the bar, he hasn't actually dated anyone for the best part of a decade. The odd one or two dinner dates that Alice had set up being the exception, but he was so disinterested in pursuing anything past that night that he really didn't give a fuck how he acted or how he was received.
*Free tonight?* He sends, panicking the second he hits the button that he should have been more charming or friendly or something.
It takes a few agonising minutes for Tash to respond and it has Harry pacing up and down his living room in anticipation.
*Sure!* Is all she writes and Harry finds himself fist pumping the air out of pure exhilaration.
*Pick you up at 8 :)* He typed and deleted the smiley face four times before groaning into the air and cursing under his breath at how ridiculous he was being.
Tash's last message saying *Grovely :)* has him chuckling, relaxing his muscles momentarily before anxiety crashes through his body again.
-
At 7.55pm Harry is knocking on Tash's door with a shaky hand.
"Shit," she hisses, inwardly cursing him for being early and equally at herself for running late. What she doesn't know is that Harry has been outside the building for half an hour, anxiously watching the clock on his phone tick each agonising minute by until he couldn't physically stand it anymore, telling himself five minutes early is better than being late.
She is quickly swiping her lips with a stick of her favourite lip balm and messing her hair with her hands as she throws the pile of clothes from her bed into the closet and closes the door behind it.
"M'sorry I know I'm early!" He proclaims at the same time she yells, "I'm running a little late!"
Her breath hitches when she sees him. He looks breathtakingly handsome, tight black jeans and boots adorn his bottom half while a charcoal t-shirt that looks impossibly soft drapes from his torso, a cross pendant hanging from his neck and a tan fedora hiding his messy curls.
In one hand he holds a sweater and in the other a single white rose, no paper or packaging, just causally twirling it in his fingers by the stem before holding it out for her to take.
She's genuinely taken aback, the gesture seeming so unpretentious and not forced and his face is so apprehensive it almost looks scared.
"Harry, that's really sweet, thank you," she tries not to sound too emotional by the simple act when in fact she feels a little teary. "Come in, sorry about the mess, I'll be two minutes."
She's running around trying to find her other black boot that matches the one already on her foot. Her necklaces hang in the v neck of her black silk slip dress and her heavy boots and huge grey knitted cardigan a complete contrast to her delicate figure and dress.
Harry is trying not to stare at her legs, the skin of her thighs coming more into view as she bends down trying to search for her missing shoe. He distracts himself by looking around the little apartment screaming of her personality and he feels like being inside here is the most fascinating insight to woman living in it. It feels so authentic that it almost seems like an extension of her.
"I love your place," he says honestly and hears her talking about how much she loves it too but her words are being drowned out as he holds his breath and looks at the polaroids on the wall, pictures of her travels and friends, some newer, some very old.
Harry can't help but follow her into the small bedroom nook that is next to the living room, more photos and books, a single fedora that hangs on a hook almost identical to the one on his head.
"I was going to wear it but I think we might look a little odd!" she breaks him from his thoughts that were starting to cloud his mind with the speed they were traveling around in his head.
"I don't mind," he says honestly, watching her reaction closely but she just giggles and shakes her head.
"You have a lot of pictures up," he says matter of factly causing her to stop zipping up the boot she found under her bed.
"Guess I'm sentimental." She shrugs, gauging his serious tone and he just nods back.
"I am too." He admits, and his stomach tumbles as he thinks about the photo shoved in his wallet for the past seven years.
-
"Oh my god, these are so good!" Tash squeals, stuffing another dumpling into her mouth.
"Best in the whole city, I swear, I think I tried them all!" Harry is feeling relaxed as the noisy Chinese restaurant bustles around their little booth. She has a strange effect on him, her presence making him hand shaking-ly nervous but eerily calm and self assured at the same time.
They sit side by side and probably unnecessarily close, their legs touching and their shoulders brushing with every movement. He can smell the perfume on her skin and he wonders what she wears in order to smell so intoxicating.
Harry has removed his hat out of politeness and runs a ring clad hand through his unruly curls. He watches as she talks with her hands, always so animated but never enough to be annoying or overbearing and he finds himself smiling at her contagiously adorable giggle.
He can't deny how drawn he is to her and part of that is because of how carefree she comes across. Although her rambling sentences often give away that she is feeling nervous as well, she has an ease about her that is comfortable and that he really likes being around. She's so completely aware of who she is and that is something he finds incredibly sexy, something that he loved most about his high school love.
Harry ordered far too much food but he insisted, making sure she had everything she wanted. Her face lights up every time she tries something new on the table out of the little bamboo steamers and he tries to stifle his smile as observes her quietly, not wanting to make her self conscious.
"You have to try this one!" She exclaims shoving her chopsticks into Harry's face and not giving him any option other than to open his mouth and take the dumpling from her.
Normally, he loathes couples that feed each other in public, constantly making remarks a little too loudly about being able to use your own hands or not being an infant but there's something about Tasha that just seems natural, it's not cheesy or suggestive, she's just genuinely excited about the dumpling.
Her eyes widen as she waits for his reaction and he chews slowly and looks at the ceiling as if he is trying to solve a riddle.
"Yep, that's bloody good," he decides out loud and her uninhibited cackle is his ultimate reward.
He wants to pull her towards him and kiss her, to feel her lips on his and taste her tongue but for the first time in as long as he can remember, he doesn't want this to be a one night thing, he needs to take this slowly.
He can feel her whole body stiffen when his hand rests on her leg and he picks up a dumpling, "These ones are my favourite," he tells her, holding his chopsticks out to her and he shamelessly watches her mouth as she opens it to accept the food.
She rolls her eyes back in her head and dramatically leans back against the padded bench before groaning into the air.
Harry bites down on his bottom lip, trying not to openly laugh out of pure joy, and instead squeezes her knee with his finger tips.
"Are you always this happy?" He asks her, wondering if he's being nosy but he honestly wants to know. She seems like one of those people that is always sees the bright side of life no matter what and that is something the wishes he could do.
"Umm, I dunno, I mean I try to be as positive as possible, I think negativity can be really toxic but I have bad days just like everyone else." Tash tells him as she pushes her empty plate aside and kicks her knee onto the bench to turn to face him front on.
"What about you, Harry, are you happy?" Her question seems innocent enough, especially considering Harry just asked the same of her but the rawness hits him like a ton of bricks.
"Umm, I think I try to be, but ultimately, well... maybe not," he mumbles and Tash has to lean towards him to hear what he is says.
"Why is that?" She says so seriously he suddenly feels like he is under a spotlight.
He shrugs a little but when he sees the rejection in her eyes he decides for once to be open.
"I made a huge mistake when I was in high school, I was a fucking idiot actually, and I guess I feel like maybe... I just... don't deserve it," he admits, fiddling with his chopsticks and really hoping she doesn't push to talk about it any further in such a crowded place.
"Harry," she says softly, putting her hand on his arm and sending shockwaves through his skin. "We all make mistakes when we are younger, some larger than others and the fact you still carry it around makes me believe you really are sorry. Whether or not you learnt from it is the most important thing. Guilt like that will eat you alive"
He doesn't want to think about what happened anymore, the memories that haunt him on a daily basis rush through his mind. He wants to believe what she's saying, but he feels like he may never be able to right the wrong, to heal the pain he caused both for himself and for the girl he loved so much.
Tash runs her hand down the front of his arm and squeezes his hand in hers. Butterflies erupting in both their stomachs and Tash wonders if this is going to be her big mistake.
-
Once her hand was in his, they didn't let go, their fingers comfortably intertwined while they walked leisurely through the busy city streets to her apartment which takes far less time than either of them would have hoped for.
Tash's keys are in her hand as she leans heavily against her apartment door, Harry towers above her, his arm resting on the frame behind her. Her heart slams into her chest as his fingers reach out and gently tuck a messy curl behind her ear.
Her cheeks are burning and she feels an unstoppable smile touch her eyes. He leans with the intention to kiss her, his lips hovering impossibly close and he can hear her take a sharp inhale of breath before he stops himself and pulls away, his mind dragging him back down into suffocating doubt. He doesn't deserve this.
She sees his hesitation and her own insecurities, which she hates so much, starts to fill her head. She has been in bad relationship after bad relationship and she needs to start making better decisions in her life if she wants to get off this rocky road that goes nowhere. She knows it's too early to be talking about this with Harry but she needs to get it off her chest, if he runs, then it wasn't meant to be.
"Can I see you again?" he interrupts her thoughts with his raspy voice filled with lust and it sends a shiver down her spine.
She takes a moment too long to answer and Harry closes his eyes waiting for the rejection he's not sure he can handle.
"I want to," she starts, "but I have been known to always pick the wrong men, the ones who cheat and lie," her hands start to tremble as his eyes open and capture hers. "I know this is way too much information but I have to say it," she starts to ramble before taking a deep breath and slowing herself down.
"I'm not asking for anything but honesty, and if you think you can't give me that then I hope you respect me enough, or maybe just Alice and Jamie enough to end this here. As friends."
His brow furrows as he contemplates what she's been through, how many people have hurt her over the years and he feels the unfamiliar pinch in his chest of caring for another individual.
"I can do that. Give you honesty," he says sincerely and she watches as his eyes search hers before flickering briefly to her lips.
Harry leans in and she holds her breath as he presses a soft kiss to her forehead and then her cheek before running the tip his nose over hers. The touch of his skin sending a tingling current to the pit of her stomach and causing her core to clench and her knees to shake.
She feels strangely protected under the shadow of his wide brimmed hat, she can feel his breath on her skin and smell the cologne on his neck, her heart is thumping so hard she's sure he can hear it and when he pulls away from her, she resists the urge to groan at the lack of contact.
"I'll call you tomorrow," he promises, trying to gain as much composure as he can as he watches her chest rising quickly up and down and all she can do is nod as she watches him walk away.
A/N
How are we all doing??
Have to admit this chapter made me hungry! haha
Thanks for the comments and just a reminder to VOTE
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Love Ruby
xx