Acting like nothing was wrong was difficult. I told everyone that I was just feeling a bit down after fainting, but the truth was, I was still bothered by what The World revealed to me. I acted all brave, but I was scared as hell. I don't know what to even think or do.
I should've been dead. I sighed as try hard to find some sleep that night. Is it alright for me to have fun with my friends like this, to be happy, to be with Damien, after knowing that my mere existence can bring disaster to the world?
"You idiot, that's the whole reason why Fate is helping you." A familiar voice said as warm blue light enveloped my room. "You should be happy, you should be with your love, if not, and then it defeats the purpose of this whole thing." The young agent of Fate said as he floated just above me. He was lying on the air, his chin resting on his hands, as he faced me.
"Is it true, that I should've been dead?" I asked. "That I died...?"
"It's more complicated than that. Fate did not bring you back from the dead or anything though, time was turned back and everything started all over again. Then, Fate made sure that things wouldn't turn out the same, that you wouldn't die this time around."
"I see..." I don't get it... it's confusing...
"You're alive now. Why worry about that?" He said as he descended slowly closer to me.
"You're too close..." I complained. That playful boy suddenly bounced away in the air and then sat on the side of my bed. "What about me spreading anomalies...?" I asked as I sat up.
"Gaia is in charge of keeping the balance of the world, let her worry about it, don't think about it."
"...but, what if I really cause disaster...?'
"Why are you so full of doubts, Fate is already on your side? I said don't worry about it, so just focus on getting your love."
"How can I not worry about it? The World just tried to trap me in that weird place forever."
"Gaia is being plain lazy. There are a lot more ways to regain balance, but the easiest way is to take you out." Take me out? So The World is really trying to kill me. "Fate would protect you, stop worrying! Really, Gaia can find another way to keep the balance of the world, so stop worrying about causing disaster or whatnot."
"Is it really alright?"
"You'll be very busy, from now on. Because I'll be spreading my anomaly all over." The boy mocked as he floated in the air and stood up in front of me. "What happened to that attitude? We all laughed and clapped when you said that, you know."
"I must've gone crazy that time... I acted brave and all, but I'm really scared..."
"Then go crazy all the time. There's no need to be scared, I'm here to help you."
"I should've been dead, no, I've died, but Fate revived me, that's why my destiny became messed up..."
"That's the gist of it... sort of..."
"Why, though? Why did Fate decide to help me? Why are you giving all these miracles?"
The boy chuckled. "Get your love, then everything would be clear." That was the last words he said before he disappeared.
Ignoring what The World revealed like Fate said was easier said than done, but it was my only choice if I wanted to stay sane.
When Sunday came, Axel and I made plans to go to the mall to watch a movie.
"What are you sulking about now?" Axel asked with a sigh as stepped in the elevator. "Is this because we're watching a movie without Damien?"
"I'm not sulking..." At least, I thought I wasn't. I mean, I was not trying to.
"Really? Because I would get hurt if you are. I'm glad that you and Damien are okay now, but I would still like to hang out with just the two of us, once in a while." He said as the elevator went down to the lobby.
"I get that; it's not like my world revolves around Damien, you know."
"Then why are you sulking?"
"I am not."
"You so are."
"I think Damien is mad at me." I told Axel honestly. "Last Friday, when they were at our unit, he was already acting differently."
"Really? How so?" He sounded a bit too enthusiastic about the whole thing.
"I mean... his face is usually bright, but he seemed a little gloomy. And yesterday, he was a bit quieter than usual... Did something happen when I was talking to Kuya?"
"Don't worry, I can bet all my games that Damien is not mad at you. So relax." He patted me on the back as we walked out of the elevator.
We waited for our cab that we hailed online in the lobby, as Axel complained about his parents not buying him a car. I get their point, once Axel has a car, he would go to as many clubs as he can in a weekend, then I'll have to take care of him. It would be tiring.
"Ohhh, I know that guy..." Axel muttered as he watched a man walked up to the receptionist.
"Who is that?" I asked him curiously. We've always been together, so I have no idea where he could have known that stranger.
"I think his name is Nelson." Axel stood up and walked towards the reception. "What is he doing here?"
"Nelson? Who exactly is he?"
"Clark's former friend." Axel replied. "They had a falling out, I think it's because of a girl. It's that guy's fault, I'm sure of it. Do you think he stole Clark's girl."
"Aren't you jumping to conclusions too easily?" Axel suddenly stood up and walked towards the reception. "Hey, where are you going?"
"I told Clark I won't pry him for details, so I'll ask Nelson instead."
There was no stopping him. I followed him, trying to convince him to change his mind, but it was useless.
That guy named Nelson was talking to the receptionist when we reached him. "He's not home? Are you sure? Can I know his unit number?"
"I'm sorry, we can't give out our tenants' personal information." The receptionist replied.
"What are you doing here?" Axel asked in a very brash tone.
Nelson turned and it took him a few moments before he recognized Axel. "You're that guy with Clark at the mall. What are you doing here?"
"I asked you first." Axel replied.
"I'm here to talk to Clark." Nelson replied after a snort.
"If I remember correctly, Clark doesn't want to talk to you." Axel replied.
"I know Clark, he'll talk to me eventually." Nelson gave Axel a sharp look. "And you? Why are you here?"
"Me? I live here." Axel replied.
"You live here?" Nelson sounded quite surprised.
"Stop bothering Clark. Just leave."
There was an obvious tension between the two, and Axel was acting very hostile towards Nelson. He said that Nelson hurt Clark, Clark is our friend, and I get why he would get angry at Nelson for that, but the level of his hostility against the man was far more intense than that. It was like he was the one who Nelson offended.
"Are you his bodyguard or something?" Nelson sounded angry.
"I'm his friend. And unlike someone else, I won't abandon him."
"Do you even know what happened between us?"
"It doesn't matter. You hurt him, you abandoned him, that's enough for me to know that you're a horrible person."
"Axel stop, let's go, our cab is here." I told Axel as our cab driver messaged me.
"Go ahead, tell the driver to wait for a while, I'll follow you in a bit."
I did as Axel asked and after about five minutes, he walked out of the condo and entered the cab. "The nerve of that guy."
"So, what happened?" I asked as the cab started moving.
"I made him go away. Clark doesn't want to talk to him, there's no reason for him to stay."
"He's right, though. We don't know what happened between the two of them, maybe all they need is to have a proper talk to patch things up. Maybe it was like what happened between me and Damien, maybe it was just a misunderstanding and..."
"That's different. You and Damien didn't really want to be apart. He abandoned Clark, he drove him away; that is clear. If he is a decent guy, no matter what happens, he wouldn't drive away and abandon a friend just like that."
"You sound so concern about Clark. Or are you just being nosy again?"
"I'm not being nosy, Teo. I'm just simply looking out for a friend."
"If you say so..."
The movie was great, but I didn't get to enjoy it thoroughly. I was still worrying about Damien. Was he angry or something?
Damien's mood started to go sour the night I fainted. We were eating dinner normally at first, and then all of a sudden he brought up Ethan to the conversation. "I heard you're a big fan of Ethan Andrada. Axel said you adore him." He said in a stern manner.
It wasn't a casual question, because he was staring intently at me. "I'm a fan, that's right. We're friends..."
"You're friends? So you're close with him." Damien added in the same stern tone.
"Axel is close with him too."
"We're what you call frenemies." Axel replied.
"He signed with Mom's agency, and he's a Filipino, so we naturally became friends..." I explained.
"I see... Naturally." Damien replied shortly. He wasn't touching his food. "I saw your picture with him, since when did you like taking pictures? You were even smiling so brightly. You must really adore him.
What is this? Why do I feel pressured? It's like I'm being interrogated.
"We don't even have a proper picture together, because you always shy away from the camera. Almost all of my pictures are stolen shots." Damien continued. "So why can you take a picture with Ethan willingly and not me? Are you closer to him? Do you like him better?"
He's mad. Why? Why was he so angry? I didn't want to be presumptuous, but I was starting to think that Damien was jealous of Ethan. If so, should I be worried or happy? I couldn't decide what to feel, because I'm not sure what Damien was feeling either.
I wanted to ask, but I was afraid.
"It's not like that... It's just that..." I was flustered. Suddenly words left my mind and I couldn't say anything.
Damien left out a sigh. "That was out of line, I'm sorry. Forget that happened. Of course you have other friends, it's not like your world revolves around me."
Everyone at the dining table was silent. Their eyes shifted as Damien and I exchanged words. I had a feeling that they know more of what was going on than I did. They might know the reason why Damien seemed to be angry better than I do.
How I would love it if he was really jealous of Ethan, because even if the reason behind that jealous is purely platonic friendship, it still meant that I am that important to him. And that was enough for me.
Yesterday, Damien didn't even contact me. He was at his Dad's restaurant, and seemed to be really busy. I didn't hear anything from him at all.
"Have you decided when you're going to confess to Damien?" Axel asked as we walked out of the theater.
"What?! Where did that question come from?" I was completely taken by surprise by his question.
"I think you should confess to him soon, like... today, maybe." Axel said in a serious tone.
"Are you crazy? I'm not ready for that? My heart can't take it. I'm still just starting to get close to Damien again after our misunderstanding, I can't jeopardize our friendship now. Besides, he's still in a foul mood, what if..."
"That's why I am telling you to confess to him." Axel said with a resolute tone. "Trust me, I know why he's in a foul mood, and I'm telling you, right now is the best time to confess to him."
"How so...? I don't get it..." My phone suddenly rang; it was Damien.
"Is that Damien?" Axel asked and I nodded. "What are you waiting for? Answer it. Tell him that you want to meet. The confess that you like him, that you really, really like him."
If I tell Damien that, how would he react? Would he keep a distance or would he accept my feelings? I doubt that things would be that easy for me, after all, The World is on the lookout to ruin my life.