Beyoncé Giselle Knowles
"Mommy you don't have to do that." Normani said as Ms. Andrea put her hair up.
Mani was having the baby now and I was so scared. This would be my first daughter and I had been practicing how to do hair, how to care for a baby girl 'cause I'd never done that before. I'm terrified.
"We don't mess up our hair for nobody girl, not even this baby." She said, making Mani laugh.
It was the first time she had laughed in days. Plum Plum was being difficult and she was prolonging her pregnancy.
"Why you just standing over there like that?" My mom asked and I shrugged.
Now that Chas was walking, he was at 'that' stage. He's always in some shit and he's up under Normani all the time. He can put a few sentences together but he knows how to get his point across.
"You scared?" She asked.
I nodded. "Terrified actually. When she gets here, I'm not going to know what to do. All I know how to do is raise boys and now that I'm finally getting my baby girl, I don't know what to do."
"Is she scared?"
"Not at all and that's the scary part about it. She had Kordei and she's all like superwoman, she can do it all."
Arielle walked over to me with Kordei on her hip. He was holding the camera and smiling at me.
Since he's three now, he thinks he's grown so he thinks he can hold a camera.
"How are you feeling Bey?" Arielle asked.
"Uhm, are we gonna show her this?"
"Yes, when she's 18."
"Okay. Hi Princess, you're on your way now and guess who's scared? Me. I hope I do well with raising you and when you go off to college, I never want you to forget me." I said and put my hand over the camera.
I walked over to Normani and Ms. Andrea, kissing Mani on her forehead. She smiled.
"Did you talk to Heaven?"
"Yes I did."
"Arielle come here." I called and she walked over, turning the camera back on.
I asked the doctor if we could hear that baby's heartbeat. She put the gel on Mani's tummy and rolled it around.
When I heard Heaven's heartbeat, I smiled widely and I knew the camera could hear it as well.
"That's your heart baby."
"Momma, I have a heart too?" Kordei asked from behind the camera.
"Yeah baby, you got one too."
"Where?" He asked, unconvinced.
"Ginme your hand."
He held his hand out and I put it on his heart. When I took my hand off of his heart, he smiled at me.
I turned to Mani and she was crying softly in the cover.
I crawled into the bed next to her, kissing her forehead. "You okay?"
"The contractions aren't that far apart anymore." She blew out her breath hard then laid her head in the crook of my neck, I knew she was crying.
"You want epidural?"
"It didn't work with his ass, I don't think it'll work with her."
"Try it."
"You been telling me that since we met."
"I'm for real Normani, I need you to try it so nothing goes wrong."
She nodded her head but didn't say anything.
"Is that a yes?"
"Uh huh."
I got up from the bed and went to get the doctor. I told her that Mani needed some epidural so she walked back in the room and gave it to her, apparently.
While I was outside, I saw Sydney walking down the hall with Chas on her hip.
We were awaiting a trial for full custody and a restraining order but until then, Sydney was still apart of my son's life. As of right now, I make his decisions for him and when he's older, he can figure the entire mother thing.
"Wassup man." I took him from her, completely ignoring her. I kissed his cheek and took his bag from her and started to walk back into the room but Sydney put her hand on my shoulder, pulling me back.
"What you want?" I asked her.
"I'm sorry for lying on you, just please don't take my son away from me." She pleaded.
"Girl, I don't trust a word you say at this point. You tried to take me away from my family 'cause you wanted some money. You don't even want your son!" I shouted then consoled a scared Chas.
"Yes I do-"
"Bruh, give it up. You said it yourself, you wanted to abort him but your little boyfriend wanted the money that I could provide. What was your move? Put me on child support? Girl, I take care of mine."
I wanted to call her out her name so bad, I wanted to curse this bitch out but I couldn't. I just wanted to keep my son and love him more than I know she won't.
"I want my son Beyonce."
"Stay right here." I nodded and walked back into the room.
"Hey my baby!" Mani yelled and held her arms out for Chas. I gave him to her and kissed her.
"Let me see your phone baby."
"It's over there." She pointed while bouncing Chas up and down on the bed.
I took her phone and went back out, going to the recording that Normani had took. Since she wants to be such a liar, I can catch her in her lie and it's definitely her so she can't tell the judge otherwise.
Before she could say anything, I put my hand up and told her to just listen, putting the phone up to her ear. Once she understood what it was, her eyes widened and she tried to snatch the phone from me but I pulled back, pushing her away.
I saw Julius on the other side of the hallway, raising himself off of the wall but I put my hand up, stopping him. I didn't need him right now.
"Who is that?"
"Bitch, now I know damn well- are you for real? You know that's you. You're his only mother Sydney." I said.
She sighed. "What do you want?"
"I want you to know that you won't be getting any money from me, that I take care of my children and lastly, I want you in court on the third."
"You and your so called wife, y'all won't make it. You out here trying to make everybody happy when she doesn't even appreciate you-"
"Bitch and you do?! She doesn't appreciate me but she's had my son and is in the middle of having my daughter. Willingly, not for fucking money!" My fingers started to shake and I knew it was a matter of time before I snapped.
I raised my hand to call out for Julius and she flinched instantly. Somebody already beat her ass.
"Auntie BB!" I heard from behind me.
I turned around and picked up Julez, who had ran over to me. He was getting so big to be a seven year old. I don't spend enough time with my nephew, I should take more time out just for him.
"Hey baby, how are you?" I asked, kissing his hair.
I looked up at Solange and she mouthed something while looking at Sydney and Julius.
"What?" I asked her.
"I'mma beat her ass-"
"Beyonce bring yo ass here!"
"You in trouble." She snickered and we all walked into the room. Normani looked mad but I don't know what for, I haven't done anything. "All y'all, get out."
As soon as she said it, everybody left but our mothers took their time, pissing her off even more. They know damn what they're doing.
When 'everybody' left, Normani pulled me down to her by the collar of my shirt. "Why was she here?"
"She was dropping Chas off."
"I gave that bitch a chance, I gave her more than I should've and she keep crossing fuckin' lines. I'mma beat her ass if I see her again, I better not see that bitch."
I didn't know whether to beat her ass, listen to her, or wanna fuck 'cause that was so sexy. I don't think she understands how attractive she is when she's mad.
I nodded my head and she let me go, looking away from me.
"Baby." I called.
"What do you want?"
"I'm sorry."
"Okay, I don't care." She rolled her eyes and I sat on the hospital bed beside her before she told everyone to come back in.
While they filled the room again, I was trying to get back in Normani's good graces. I laid on the bed beside her and kissed her cheek to her lips. She tried to look away from me but I grabbed her face, making her look.
"Baby, I'm sorry, she was just coming to drop him off."
"Like I said, if I see that bitch again, I'mma whoop her ass." She shrugged her shoulders.
"You going to court with me?"
"Maybe, I don't know. I don't want to see her, period. I'm going to throw my fucking shoe at her."
"Your shoe baby? Your shoe?" I chuckled and she nodded.
I rubbed her belly while I kissed her lips repeatedly. She started breathing hard and I felt Princess start kicking.
"That hurts." She whined.
"You're bipolar."
"It huurts!"
"Hush, stop talking. It won't hurt if you stop talking." I said, rubbing it more.
She nodded but started rubbing my dick which is so nasty 'cause that is not what we're here for and after she has Princess, we can't have sex.
"Normani stop." I said, moving her hand.
"Uh uh, it's mine, I do what I want. If you insist on rubbing my stomach, I get to rub your dick. Shut up." She whispered.
She reached her hand inside my joggers and closed her eyes, trying to sleep. I don't get it when she does this, she likes to rub my dick or just hold it in her hand while sleeping. And that's exactly what she did.
"Y'all are disgusting, this is what Heaven has to see when she's 18." Ashlee said, walking up with the camera.
"She's sleep." I said.
"That don't make it better, if she's doing that while she's sleep, that's nasty." She said, I shrugged my shoulders.
"That's your sister."
"And you're the one that did it to her so." She trailed off then Mani started whining in my neck.
"What's wrong baby?"
"She's coming, I can feel it." She whined more.
"Okay, mommy can you go get the doctor?" I asked and she nodded, running out of the door. I don't know why she's running.
"You want me out of the bed?" I asked but she shook her head.
"I don't know why I asked you, I have to. You need this whole bed." I got out of the bed and she whined, reaching out for me.
I grabbed her hand and kissed it. She wasn't making any noises or anything but she was staring up at me with a worried look on her face.
"What's wrong?"
"Her head is big baby."
"So was Kordei's but you had him anyway." I shrugged.
"You're such an asshole." She whined, still looking at me. From my peripheral vision, I could see Arielle still recording us. That girl is still recording us.
"I'm your asshole though."
I tried distracting her from the doctor between her legs, telling her to push. She squeezed my hand harder and harder while she pushed once. She dug her nails into my hand while pushing too.
She didn't scream or do any of the things that she did with Kordei. His head is probably bigger than hers.
When I heard my Princess screaming loud, I couldn't help but look. She was crying and screaming so hard.
"Is she okay?" I asked.
The doctor nodded his head and handed Princess to the nurse who went to weigh her and clean her up.
"Mani." I called and looked at her. She was crying so I wiped her tears away. "You okay?"
She nodded her head but she refused to say anything. She wasn't like this when she had Kordei so I pondered on what was wrong with her but I just couldn't pinpoint anything besides the fact that Sydney was still apart of our lives.
When they brought Heaven out, they handed her to me and I smiled down at her, a tear rolling down the side of my face. This is my daughter and it was an amazing feeling that I got to experience.
The joy that I felt now was overbearing. I could honestly and wholeheartedly say that this little girl is the best thing that has ever happened to me and she hadn't even been in this world a full ten minutes. It felt like it was just us two in the room, I just wanted to protect her already.
I'm so scared for her future. I'm so scared for all of my children and my fiance. I don't want anything to hurt them and I fear that I'll be the one to do that.
•••
Five days. Five days of uncertain feelings.
Heaven was here and Heaven was healthy but I can't say the same about Normani.
After having Heaven, she got quiet and she just wasn't being herself in general. I asked her what was wrong but she wouldn't tell me and I fear that I'm losing my fiance, that I'm losing the love of my life over something that I don't even know about.
She would hold Heaven but she would never speak to her. Everything about that just hurt me, I don't understand why she won't speak to us. She won't even talk to her mother and I've tried talking to her about it but she told me that Mani had never been like this before.
Right now, my mom was holding Heaven and entertaining all of my kids while I tried to get Mani to tell me something. I needed to know what was going on in her head.
"Normani." I called but she just stared at the wall. Her hands twitched but she wasn't crying or anything. She just stayed still. "Baby."
"What?" She answered. At least it was something.
"Can you tell me what's wrong with you?" I asked her.
She shook her head and I heard her whimpers. I moved to the other side of the bed and I saw the tears that now ran down her face. Instantly, I wiped them away.
"Tell me what's wrong baby."
"I miscarried." She mumbled.
"No you didn't. Heaven is here."
"She had a twin and the doctor told me that he might not make it."
In complete shock, I crawled into the bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her, letting her cry into my chest.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You didn't want another boy anyway, I didn't think you would care plus we had enough going on, I didn't want to add onto the problems."
I lifted her head so that we were looking right into each other's eyes.
"I care and we'll get through this entire thing together. You're never alone in this baby." I kissed her forehead and looked over at my mom with a worried look in my eyes.
I'm so fucking scared.
*********
Nah y'all, this one really made me cry 😭.