"When you feel the need to love,
let me be the one you're thinking of
'cause I will make it so right.
Forever and ever.
Baby I will always be there for you.
You just run to me 'cause
There'll never be another no
There'll never be another for me
I will always be there you baby ah."
I smiled while Beyoncé sung to me in my ear. She thought I was sleep but I'm not and she sounds amazing right now.
But I felt so guilty that the smile didn't last long. I cheated. I didn't mean to but I did it and I regret every moment of my existence as of now.
I love Beyoncé so much, it hurts to think that she's going to leave me which I know she is. What I did was a mistake, I didn't mean to but I had to take ownership of my own actions.
Dinah knows but she wasn't on my side whatsoever.
Flashback
"Are you for real Normani?! I really don't think you understand the intensity of your actions this time. Why would you do that?"
"I don't know DJ. I need you right now, I'm so scared."
"You should be Mani. I know I'm not in y'all relationship but I thought y'all were doing good man, what happened?"
"Nothing! And that's why I feel so bad about it, she didn't do anything to deserve what I did to her. She's gonna leave." I cried, wiping the stray tears off of my face.
"She better leave yo ass-"
"Dinah!"
"What? You of all people should know that I'm not one to hold my tongue. You were in the wrong, you're still in the wrong and you deserve to be left Mani. She'd be stupid if she didn't leave you."
"I love her DJ."
She pulled me into her and wrapped her arms around me.
"What the hell you go and do that for Mani? You're so fucking stupid. You said she was doing amazing in bed, she treats you like a princess, and your son? That's her heart. When he's hurt, she's hurt. I just wanna know why."
"I don't know. I was drunk but I knew what I was doing. I really don't know."
"You better tell her or I'mma do it."
Flashback Over
And that was a week ago so I may be out of time to tell her.
Every passing day, guilt grew in my heart even more. She was so happy and knowing that I could take all of that away from her in a matter of seconds, hurt me.
"Good morning baby."
When I turned in the bed to look at her, she was smiling and the sun was now beaming down at her. She's so beautiful.
"Good morning."
She pressed her lips against my cheek then got out of the bed, opening our room door.
Baby boy was sitting at the door in his diaper and pajama shirt, he hates the pants for some reason.
He reached up and she picked him up, kissing him on his cheek, making him smile under his pacifier.
"I missed you. Why you didn't come sleep with us last night man?" She asked and he just shrugged his shoulders high. Their connection was admirning and adorable. My dumb ass just threw all of that away.
I watched them with my knees up to my chest. I was about ready to cry, I'd realized that Beyoncé was the best thing that had ever happened to me besides the girls and my son.
"Why you crying? You okay?" She looked genuinely concerned.
I nodded my head and both of them crawled into the bed, sitting on both sides of me. Kordei copied my movements, he tried to make himself cry as well.
"Aye, you stop." She flicked his bottom lip and he pouted, crossing his arms. Now he was actually about to cry.
Beyoncé forced me to look at her, her face had softened by now.
"What's wrong baby girl?"
"Nothing. Y'all are just really cute."
She looked at me suspiciously before nodding her head and taking her hand off of my face.
"Come here baby boy."
He crawled over to her fast, she took him into her lap and pulled me into her too.
"Hugs always work."
But they don't.
Dinah Jane POV
"She hasn't told her yet? What the hell is she waiting for?" Nicki asked, closing her eyes.
I knew she was stressed about the whole situation. Bey is her best friend and I know she wouldn't like to see her hurt. Mani is my best friend and I know she's hurt by it too but she doesn't have the right to be. She did it and she claimed that she had no reason for it, she cheated for nothing.
"Nah, I think I'm just about to tell her-"
"Not your place baby, stay out of it."
"But it is my place! It should be your place too, that's your best friend and Mani did her wrong, for nothing. Bey didn't do a thing for Mani to cheat on her!"
"First of all, don't raise your voice at me. Second, I get it but it's still not your place. It's not your relationship. You already told Mani how you feel about the situation, you can't do anything now." She said, making me roll my eyes.
"My nephew."
"Bih my best friend!" She yelled, scrunching up her face.
Beyoncé Knowles POV
Normani isn't herself. She doesn't cry for no reason and she definitely doesn't ignore me but she has been. She just started crying out of nowhere this morning and the ignoring started a few days ago.
I miss my Mani. I don't recognize whoever this is.
I don't like being ignored by Mani. It just makes me feel like I've done something wrong.
She was in the kitchen, feeding Kordei. When she looked at him, there was so much joy. I enjoy my family and one day, I would be more than happy to expand it. If that's okay with her.
"Babe?"
She looked at me but she didn't speak. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. I hate seeing her cry.
"What's wrong? You been acting weird, are you okay?" I picked up Kordei out of his high chair, wiping his face free of the food debris.
"You're a good woman under all that toughness you try to portray."
"Thank you."
She stepped closer and put her hand on my cheek.
"I got something to tell you."
"You're so dramatic, just tell me."
"Stop smiling. You're making this so much harder than it already is."
I stopped smiling.
"Do you love me?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Promise you won't get mad."
"I promise."
"I cheated. I slept with someone else and I feel so bad about it-"
After that, I blocked her out. I didn't need nor did I want to hear her anymore.
Yes, I believe her. There's no reason for her to even tell me that.
It hurt, it hurt bad and this is why I didn't ever want to have a relationship, I wanted to just hurt her. I never wanted her to hurt me but she did! That shit fucking hurt. She had my baby.
This is why she's been denying me sex? Because she's been having sex with someone else?
"Who is it?"
"I'm not telling you, you're not going to do something bad to him."
"Normani, you must think this is a damn game-" I censored myself for the sake of Kordei.
I went to lay him down in his room but he refused to let me go so I stayed in his room with him. I think it was better than way anyway, Normani and I don't need to talk. We won't be able to talk without me knocking her damn head off.
Kordei is the only good thing that came out of this 'relationship'. It's over now, there's no doubt about that. I refuse to get cheated on then stay with her.
He had his head laid down beside me, he had his arms wrapped around me. He was trying to be as close to me as humanly possible and it was cute.
Normani Kordei Hamilton
And I was being ignored, I knew she was going to leave me and that hurt the most. I couldn't blame anyone else, I could only blame myself.
I looked in the door of Kordei's bedroom and they were both laid down on his bed. He was asleep and she had small tears running down her face.
I went to wipe them away but she only slapped my hands away with a glare in her face.
"Don't touch me."
"I'm sorry. You promised you wouldn't get mad." I pleaded with her.
"I'm not mad. I don't know how I feel right now Normani, I just need you to get out my face."
"Can we please talk?"
She carefully stood up off of the bed and pushed me out of the door, closing it quietly after the both of us.
"What? What do you want from me?" I could see her about to cry. I didn't want her to cry, I never wanted to make her cry.
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to-"
"How do you not mean to have sex with someone? What you tripped and fell on his dick? It wasn't a fucking accident, you knew what you were doing! I wanted to love you so bad Normani and this is what I was afraid of. This shit hurts me to the core, you don't understand. " She was genuinely hurt and just seeing her like that tore me into pieces 'cause I caused that hurt for her.
"Baby-"
"I refuse to take a cheating. And to think I was going to make you my wife." She shook her head then slumped it to the side. "I won't do this with you."
________________
I already know y'all gon' cuss me out 😂