I can't focus in class this morning. I still think about last night, it's crazy. I even dreamt about our date. I told my best friend Anna a few minutes ago and she totally fangirled so she was sat to the other side of the class because we were annoying the teacher so much with our talk. But she still waves and winks into my direction across the whole classroom. And when I start dreaming, my eyesight becomes fuzzy and she laughs about that quietly. The guy Anna had to swap seats with is actually really weird and just sits next to me without doing anything. He's not paying attention but he's not doing anything else either, he just sits there all absent. The teacher obviously made Anna sit somewhere else so we can focus but I still dream and fangirl over last night on the inside. All those things Alex said to me, I would have never even dreamt about anything what happened before. As soon as the bell rings, I pack my stuff together as fast as I can and leave the class. By the door I wait for Anna. "I still can't believe it!", she shouts as we walk outside. "Shh!" I don't want anyone to know, either because they wouldn't believe me anyway or they wouldn't have a clue who Alex Gaskarth even is. "You don't want anyone to find out? Please! Why not? It's amazing! Anyone who likes him will be so jealous! Imagine their faces!", she shouts. "Seriously! You're my best friend, I don't want anyone to know, you're the only one who knows. Please, don't tell anybody." "Alright, alright." "Thank you!", I genuinely say. I really don't want anyone to know. We sit at a table in the back of the cafeteria and unpack our food. We both take our phones out too and lie them on the table. Mine suddenly starts to vibrate. My heart beats faster even though it's just a text but my eyes go wider as I see that it's from Alex. "Is that him?", Anna asks from the other side of the table. I can only nod and then she already sits next to me, staring at the display of my phone while the message is loading.
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'll pick you up at 8 again tonight. You choose where we're going. x
"Is that the cutest thing ever or what?", Anna squeaks. I shiver again, yes, it is the cutest thing ever. "Yeah", I reply and put my phone next to me, then I start eating. "Don't you wanna reply?" "No, I'll wait a few minutes, I don't want to seem weird." She laughs. "Oh, you're stupid." "No, I'm smart." "A genius", she adds sarcastically. "Here we are, guys!", she shouts and I turn around even though I just wanted to text back. I see Kristen and Greta walk into the cafeteria and they sit with us. I turn away from Kristen next to me a little so she doesn't see my text. I feel Anna's look on me because I know she wants to tell them. But I'm also sure she won't without my permission.
Yeah, 8 sounds good. But I don't need to choose, surprise me again! x
I actually can't wait. My phone vibrates again but I already know it's Anna who doesn't want to say something out loud because she knows Kristen and Greta are not supposed to hear it.
I'm so happy for you, gladly I'm not an ATL fangirl so I'm not jealous.
I put my phone away and laugh at Anna from across the table. She just grins. "So who are you texting?", Kristen asks. "No one", I fastly reply. She realises that I don't want to tell her and so she starts eating as well.
The rest of the break and the school day passes quickly because I spend the time in my mind. I think about later but I try not to expect anything from tonight because I might get disappointed then. I actually can't wait though. Last night was so great and he wanted to see me again so that means he likes me. Oh man, he actually likes me! I can't even ... believe it. It's just crazy. On my way home I realise that it'll only be like four hours until he picks me up. So I take a relaxed shower and let my hair dry by itself because then it looks best. I eat some lunch and tweet some stuff because I have so much time left. Tonight I can gladly be a little more specific while picking my clothes because I know that we're just gonna have dinner. Even though I don't know the exact place, it's not a problem because there is something I like at every place. After my hair is dry, I start to style it in the bathroom. I curl it and it doesn't even look as bad as it usually does. I feel confident about it and start to do my make-up. I keep it natural and just use a little eyeliner, mascara and lipgloss. Then I apply some powder and blush my cheekbones. I smile into the mirror, I look better than last night but still not good, in my opinion. But Alex made me a compliment last night which I will probably never forget. With done hair and make-up I go back into my room. I take a nervous look at the clock. Two hours left, I can't wait. I sit on my laptop again and talk to some people on Twitter until they start fangirling over Alex because he posted a picture of himself that everyone loves. I'm afriad to retweet it though because then he might see that I fangirl over him. Then I get an idea, I go to his account and look at his latest tweets. The last one is the picture and the one before is from midnight.
I had a great time tonight, I hope everyone's good. Goodnight, hustlers!
I can't believe it. He indirectly tweeted about me. He actually had a great time too. I become confident about tonight, maybe there's actually a chance of him really liking me. I paint my nails and watch some TV until the color is dry. As it is, I breathe in deeply and walk to the closet and open it with a sigh. I have one hour left to find the perfect outfit. I look around in my closet and find a white Nirvana top. I put it on with a black skirt and some thights, it doesn't look like I'm trying to hard but it's also really classy and casual at the same time. Now ... shoes? Last night I kind of realised that Alex is a lot taller than me so I might want to put on some high heels. But I'm not really comfortable in heels so maybe just some black ballerinas? Or some converse? I take a look at the clock. Half an hour left. But that should be enough time to pick some shoes and a purse, right? I feel so girly at this moment, I never really care about my look. But I'm going out with Alex fuckin' Gaskarth, dammit! I have to look as good as possible. I try on some black heels I got from Anna once, they make me look cheap. Vans look weird with the rest. I almost try on all my shoes. After posing in front of the mirror for the hundredth time, I decide to just wear grey ballerinas. I take a jeans jacket, my favourite black purse and go downstairs then. I turn on the TV and sit on the couch waiting. My heart is beating so fast, I really can't wait. I hear the door open. It's my mum, shit. "Sweetie, are you home?", she shouts. "Yeah!", I reply and turn the TV off, walking into the hallway. "Hi, you look pretty! Are you going somewhere?", she says with a smile as she takes off her coat and shoes. "Um ... actually I'm going out with...." "You have a date?", she interrupts me. "Do I know him?" "I don't know ... well, I went out with him yesterday night too. He..." I don't know how to explain. The doorbell rings. Oh, no. I prepare for the most embarrassing moment of my life - my mum meeting Alex. "There he is, I gotta go, bye!", I fastly say, kiss her on the cheek and run to the door. But of course she's not gonna go upstairs or something, she follows me to the door as I open it. And I know she's staring at Alex from behind me. "Hey...", Alex says with a smile. Then he recognizes my mum behind me. I turn around and see her face. She can't believe it either but she knows who he is. I hope she's not gonna say anything embarrassing or tell him about how I'm such an ATL fangirl. I look at her, pleading that she understands the look I give her. "Hi", she says and smiles at Alex. "Have a great time, honey. But don't be home too late", she says to me and then walks into the kitchen. That's it. At this moment I really love my mum for not being an embarrassing mother. I fastly walk outside and close the door behind me. "Your mum seems nice", Alex says. "She's pretty cool", I agree as we're walking to the car. As we both sit and he starts driving, he looks at me with a beautiful smile. "You look gorgeous." My heart melts by just looking into his eyes. Don't fangirl. I can't believe it. He complimented me again. I really need to calm down. And he looks so perfect. I can't tell him that though. "You too", I say with a shy smile and look out the window then, he shouldn't see that I'm blushing so much right now. "Thanks." He looks to the street. "You really don't mind me picking where we eat?" "Of course not." "Okay, you like chinese food?" "I love it." "Wow, good!" We don't drive as long as we did yesterday. Last night it took us like half an hour but tonight it's ten minutes and we're downtown where Alex parks the car in front of a chinese restaurant. He gets out of the car and opens the door for me. We walk to a restaurant with bright green chinese letters over the door. It looks really nice. "I reserved a table outside, is that okay?", Alex asks as we walk in. "Sure." He talks to a waiter that takes us to a table outside. We sit opposite eachother and the waiter brings the menus. I hide behind mine because I'm about to fangirl. Fangirl because this place is beautiful and I'm here with Alex. I look around behind my menu. The sun is just going down and you can see it from here beautifully. There are pretty flowers around and from the tent we're sitting under, there are hanging bright laterns in every color. I'm speechless. Alex carefully pushes down my menu to see my eyes. "Have you been here before?", he asks because my jaw is down. "No ... but it's amazing." "Nice atmosphere, right?" I can only nod but don't manage to say anything. "Absolutely", I finally get out. "I'm glad you like it. I found it with Jack once." I can't reply, he locks my eyes with his beautiful brown eyes. As I can't handle the breathtaking look in them anymore, I take my menu back up and hide again. I hear him laugh. "So do you know what you want yet?", he asks. "Either rice and chicken or fried noodles." "Let's take both and share. It's on me." I put my menu down on the table. "Really?" "Yeah." "Okay ... sure?" He laughs. "Yes, I'm sure!" "Um ... alright." Why am I so shy? As the waiter comes and takes the menus, Alex orders and then we both sit in silence while we wait for the food. After another few minutes, he looks at me with curious eyes. "So ... tell me something about you", he says with a soft tone in his voice. "Um ... what do you wanna know?", I ask confused. "Everything." I smile. "I seriously don't know what to tell you", I admit. "Alright ... then just tell me what your favourite band is." All Time Low. But I can't say that, I would start to fangirl. I blink fastly a few times and look away. "Is it All Time Low? It's alright, we know we're awesome", he jokes. "Kind of ... I have many favourite bands though. I really like Muse and 30 Seconds to Mars, oh, there are so many. What's yours?" "I also like those two. I have a lot too. But I think my all time favourite band are the Foo Fighters." Of course I knew that. "Yeah, I like them too." "Do you play music?" "Unfortunately not, I want to learn an instrument though. But I think I don't have the patience for that." He laughs. "Took me some time to learn to play guitar too." "But I can't sing either", I admit. "I bet you can." "Oh, no. I'm the worst singer you've ever met." "Show me." I look around. "Here? No." "Then show me later." "Never, you'd run away from the awful noise." He laughs. "No, I'd never run away from you." You would!, I think. He would if he knew how much of a fangirl I really am. But I blush from the compliment of course. "So ... what's your favourite song?", he asks. "Thanks for the Memories, by Fall Out Boy." "Oh, I love that one too." "What's yours?" "Anything my 30 Seconds to Mars or the Foo Fighters, I think. What's your favourite song by us?" I automatically think of A Daydream Away but that's like every fan's favourite. "A Daydream Away, probably. But I also like Actors and Therapy a lot." "Those mean like the most to me." "I like your lyrics anyway." "Thanks." Now he blushes. Wow, he actually blushed by a compliment I made him. I don't know what to say but luckily the waiter brings the food at this point. "What do you want to try first?", Alex asks and I take a sip of my water. "Um ... noodles", I decide. "Alright." He hands me the plate and takes the other one. He tries his food and looks at me. "Wow, that's great. I never had it before, try?" He picks up some chicken and rice with the fork and holds it to me. I open my mouth a bit and try to not fangirl right now because he just fed me some of his food. I chew it and swallow. "You're right, it's amazing", I agree. "Give me some of yours too?", he asks. I nod and feed him some noodles. "It's awesome too. I suggest we both eat half of it and then swap plates." "Sounds good", I agree. We both eat in silence until Alex looks at me with curious eyes again. "Can I ask you a question?", he says shyly. I look up but he looks down on his plate. He seems nervous. "Go ahead." "Um ... I was wondering ... why did you agree to go out with me?", he asks. "What do you mean?", I ask to gain more time for finding a proper answer. "I mean, I just walked up to you and asked you. I was afriad you'd say No because that sudden question scared you away." "I don't know ... if I'd be completely honest, I'd just make a fool out of myself." "No, tell me please." He probably won't respect me anymore if I tell him that I'm such a big fan. I have to put it like a normal sounding answer but that's not possible. I have no choice though. "I'm obviously a fan because I was at your show and when you asked me I was so starstruck that the words just rushed out of my mouth at first. To be honest, I was fangirling so much and I'm such a fan which obviously leads to the fact that you can't respect me like that. I have a poster of you guys in my room and..." I sob and realise that I just ruined it all. I made a complete idiot out of myself. I can't look up. "Hey, hey...", he says and takes my hand over the table. "I knew you're fan because you were at the show. I'm just ... I wanted to know ... because when you're famous you can't really ... know who your real friends are and who just wants money and fame through you. I've been hurt a lot of times because people only spent time with me to become famous. Mostly like attention seeking girls. And you being so honest without any weak lies, I now know that you're not like that, I'm glad because I'm done with all that shit about getting a fan at a party or bar who just has the intention to get fame or money through me. I'm done with groupies and all that, you know. And that's why I'm really happy that you're not like that." I suddenly realise that there is a lot I can find out about him through talking to him. Stuff the internet doesn't tell me. Stuff he doesn't tell anyone. "I got hurt by those people and that's why I became a really big douche for some time and hurt people back who didn't deserve it. People who actually liked me but I was confused about who to trust and who not to so I mixed up all those feelings. But I want that to stop." I feel honored that he tells me stuff like that because that obviously doesn't belong to smalltalk and stuff he just tells every random person. "I don't understand those people who just want money and fame", is all I can say even though it sounds like I'm trying too hard. "And you obviously didn't tell anyone about us. I give you credit for that too." "I don't want everyone running up to me just because they know I know you. That would make me feel akward. I only told my best friend and she's the best at keeping secrets." "You're even more amazing than I actually thought." I blush again. "I'm happy you're telling me stuff like that. "I feel like I can trust you." "You can, Alex. Really." "Thanks. That's nice to know." He smiles genuinely. I smile back.
As we leave the restaurant I feel so full because Alex and I shared a big chocolate dessert. "Are you as full as I am?", he asks while we're wealking back to the car. I nod my head. "Totally but it was amazing!" "Oh, yeah!" We both get in the car and Alex drives me home. As we arrive in front of my house, we both don't get out. "I had a great time", he says. "Me too", I admit. "I hope I see you again soon", he says and bites his lip. "I hope that too." His face brightens up, he looks so happy. "I hope I didn't confuse or scare you with all that cheesy talk." "No, you didn't. I like that you're not shallow", I say and smile. "I like that about you too. I promise you, I won't be a douche to you as I was to so many others. I won't hurt you." "Thanks. I'm really happy hearing you say that." "I never promise things." "Then it's obviously worth even more." I find my eyes locked by his again. "It is", he whispers. Our faces come closer to eachother's every second and I hope that it's really gonna happen. I've been dreaming about this since I was a fan but suddenly I'm not just a fan anymore. It's different. Our nose tips touch. Alex lies his and to my cheek and softly pulls my face closer to his. Our lips meet halfway and I feel my mind fly away. His kiss is so sweet, my heart beats incredibly fast. Alex messes up my hair as he pulls me closer but I don't care. I feel him smile on my lips as he makes the kiss go on forever. His lips are moving faster on my mine, his one hand still lies at my cheek, with the other he's running through my hair. I can't believe it, this is really happening. I fangirl in a different way. His kiss is so tender and beautiful that I don't want to leave his car ever again. He gently bites my bottom lip and I smile too. I don't want him to ever stop. After an eternity of time he lets go of my lips and moves back. He breathes in deeply and smiles. I can't help but do the same. "I'll call you", he says and I open the door, getting out of the car. I don't want him to come to the door with me because my mum's home and maybe even my dad. "Okay ... bye", is all I can get out. "Sweet dreams", he says and I close the door. Then I walk to the house fastly and ring the doorbell. My mum opens and I hear Alex drive away behind me. I walk into the house and take off my shoes and jacket. "Did you have a good time, honey?" "Yeah", I reply as I walk upstairs, feeling like I'm flying. "I had a great time."