Liam's POV
It was weird now, getting ready for a date with someone you had been seeing for over 3 years already. When everyone already knew you, loved you and wanted you to still be around, what's worse is when I uploaded today, all I got was questions in my comments about myself and Simon. Which I guess is just them being curious. At least my own viewers weren't too bad and knew there was a line not to cross. Simon's fans on the other hand were a lot more aggressive, evident by the girls the other day. God that was such a horrible day to be at the mall but hey, the girls got what they needed and Vik ended up walking away happy so that's all that mattered.
Sarah: "And you are definitely sure you want to do this?"
Liam: "Yeah I'm sure, I need to know if the feelings I get when I'm around him now after taking a break are real or not, what better way than to do something like this?"
Sarah: "Well yeah but remember he is probably extremely excited for tonight. I doubt the boys can keep him under wraps. How are you getting there?"
Liam: "Gee was going to drop me because she was heading that way anyway but then she ended up getting swamped and couldn't get out of work on time but it's all good, Vik said he will grab me."
Sarah: "Be careful not to be too friendly with Vik in the car, people already think you two cheated on Simon together."
Liam: "It's OK I know. I've been practicing my depressed face all day so when I get in the car, I'll look sad in any photos that happen to be secretly taken, it's kind of scary how possessive some people are."
Sarah: "I am aware, yet strangely for me it was the other way around."
Liam: "Cal is sweet and adoring off camera, that's what makes him so lovable, even if he is a twat on camera."
Sarah: "Agreed."
We both had a giggle before she helped me with a shirt for the evening, I'd be lost without the girls I swear. I might be gay, but I'm the type of person that will turn up to a fancy restaurant with shorts and a t-shirt. Sarah caught wind of tonight from Harry and so came over and told me, to my face that I'd need help... Which I did but that's beside the point.
Sarah: "Yeah that looks nice, are you ready?"
Liam: "I think so."
Sarah: "OK well I need to go and do some things but I'll talk to you later when you are finished up to see how it went OK?"
Liam: "Sure sounds great, thanks Sarah. You didn't have to come over though."
Sarah: "Oh Liam... We both know I did."
As we both laughed, Sarah waved and I waved her off as she left my apartment, Leaving just me to wait for a few minutes for Vik to come up or let me know he's here. I looked at myself in the mirror after finishing up the buttons on my shirt, and I have to say I look pretty good. I'm kind of glad that Sarah come over to help me now that I'm seeing the end product, and I always do that.
A few minutes later I got the text from Vik saying he was just waiting down stairs and to be careful, there is a group of people downstairs and they look young enough to know who we are. It didn't really set off any alarm bells but hey, always best to be careful. As I walked out my door, making sure I had my phone, my wallet and my keys, I headed down the elevator and into the lobby and started making my way to the entrance, he was right the girls being young enough to know who we are but I was so glad to see them being relatively older than the teenagers that are obsessed with Simon.
????: "Oh hey, Nina you don't mind do you?"
Nina: "Not at all."
????: "Thank you, Excuse me Liam."
She waved at me and spoke with such cheerful and pleasant tone in her voice. It was a nice break and will always get my attention unlike those who act bitch or rude.
Liam: "Hi there what's up?"
????: "I was wondering if I could please take a photo with you?"
Liam: "Of course you can."
As I smiled as she took the photo, a respectful distance between us. She pulled her phone down and thanked me which again, was nice.
????: "Am I allowed to post it online?"
Liam: "Yeah of course you can, no reason why fans wouldn't be able to if they are respectful themselves. Hey Nina just letting you know I think Darren came through the other day, they called me instead and got embarrassed. Good luck."
Nina: "I was wondering what happened to him, thanks Liam have fun tonight."
As I waved and left the building, I walked over to Vik and hopped in the passenger seat.
Vik: "Did you know one of them?"
Liam: "Yeah Nina lives in the apartment across from me, aside from that one of her friends mustnt have known and wanted to take a photo. It was a nice experience."
Vik: "Better than the girls at the mall?"
Liam: "Infinitely better. I didn't want to slap these girls. In fact if I ever did I'd lock myself up. They were really nice."
Vik: "It's nice when they are respectful when interacting. Anyway are you ready for tonight? I assume one of the girls, likely Sarah came over and helped you get dressed?"
Liam: "You make it sound like I wouldn't be able to do it by myself."
Vik: "Mate, Just over a year ago now, we told you to come dressed casually but not too casually. You turned up in shorts and a t-shirt. They were both blue."
Liam: "I was wearing casual clothes."
Vik: "We were shooting videos for everyone and you looked so out of place. Hence why Simon took you to his room and gave you a different shirt and pants to wear."
Liam: "Oh shut up."
But thinking about that day, when we were half way through Ethan's video and Simon kept staring at me and smiling. It made my stomach flip slightly you know. When the video was done, he quickly stood up and grabbed my hand, telling the others we would be back soon and he actually half dragged me up tk his room. Grabbed a shirt and pants, handed them to Me and said he would wait outside. Apparently they weren't too happy with my choice of clothing but Ethan didn't care so I wore it in his video. The funniest thing is I saw a couple of comments asking why J had changed. I remember laughing at Simon, telling him only they worried about me like that. It was still cute seeing a few fans bring up those videos. Even if I was behind the camera for some.
Vik: "Are you nervous?"
Liam: "You have no idea."
Vik: "Well you guys did, you know, I don't doubt you would be nervous. But hey, who knows what could happen. And I guess we will all know depending on whether he comes home or not."
Liam: "Pft I ain't no cheap 1 pound whore... I'm at least 1.50."
I saw a smile on his face as we drove in contempt silence. Making small talk about ideas we had during the trip. It was only 20 minutes but still.
Liam: "You know you didn't have to do this hey?"
Vik: "I know I didn't, but Josh and JJ are busy and Ethan has a date night with Emily so Hardy was the only other option. Believe me, you dodged a bullet."
Liam: "Thanks Vik."
He drove a little further before he slowly parked his car. Wishing me luck before I stepped out into the cold British air, I will never get use to this. But I'm kind of sad that my accent is now practically gone. No matter how much I talk to my friends back home.
I walked over to the agreed upon restaurant. A frequent visit for us as we knew the food was good and the owners always appreciated us coming. Apparently we helped the business do well with our status. And with the food and service being so good, we were happy to help them out whenever we could.
Simon: "Hey."
I heard him close his door as he got out and headed towards me, his hand out awkwardly as he had a goofy grin on his face. That goofy grin that half caused me to fall in love with him all over again.
Liam: "Well hi there Giraffe boy."
Simon: "Oh really? Right OK dwarf I see how it is."
As we headed inside and waited for a waitress to take us to a table, we were just casually talking and the banter was nice but eventually after about ten minutes of standing, we were seated in the restaurants new and revamped dining area.
Simon: "How long has it been since we came here?"
Liam: "It's been a while clearly."
As we took our seat and gave our drink order, I was reminded of every time we would come here. I placed my phone on the table to the side and Simon did the same.
Simon: "Damn I'm expecting a call later from someone about work."
Liam: "Oh dear, I don't think I'm expecting any calls."
We both looked at each other and smiled. He was always like that, so happy with me all the time. He never even looked at another man while we were together. And from what I've heard from the boys. He still doesn't.
Simon: "So uh, should we address the elephant in the room now or should we just wait till later?"
Liam: "I mean, I'm not going to lie. There was a point where I didn't love you as much anymore. I felt more like I was trapped in a relationship that I didn't want to be apart of no matter how much you loved me or showed me affection. It's cliche to say it's not you it's me but honestly it was, you were the perfect boyfriend, the perfect partner. Always supportive and worrying about me. Wanting to know I was OK with anything we did that out me outside my comfort zone. And it was the best time of my life. But you know, people change over time and I don't know why I thought I just didn't feel right with you anymore. It was one of the weirdest thoughts in my life."
It was silent for a few moments as I looked down at the table. I heard him let out a sigh and I don't know. It kind of broke my heart a little bit.
Liam: "We were together for over three years, and every second, I loved. Even when I lived so far away, you still managed to somehow make me feel like the most important man in the world. And in the few weeks we had been taking a break, not been together. I felt lonely and immoral that I did that to you, that I felt wrong and that I didn't belong unless I was with you. I felt upset to even just be in my apartment. It would have been awkward if I hung out with Vik or Josh unless Freya or Kay were there too. It would feel odd even talking to JJ even though I still don't like that whole beef idea, you got hurt a couple of times."
Simon: "I'm a tough cookie."
Liam: "Yeah, which is why I thought it was funny during the end of it. And Vik still wins in my eyes."
Simon: "Heh, yeah he did didn't he."
I looked up to see him watching me, a blush appearing on his cheeks as he awkwardly coughed and looked away from me, just in time to see the waitress arrive with our drinks.
Waitress: "Were you guys ready to order or would you like to peruse the menu still?"
Michael: "Not yet ready sorry."
Simon: "Yeah soon thank you."
Waitress: "Not a problem, I've been told to treat you guys with extra special service so if you need anything just let me know."
Liam: "Thank you."
A few moments later, as I took a sip from my drink. 8 looked up and noticed Simon looking at the menu, even though I already knew what he would be having.
Liam: "Lately, I've found myself missing you."
That got his attention as his head popped up and he looked at me rather suddenly, he smiled a little but still tried to look neutral.
Liam: "At the mall the other day, I was watching the girls and Vik, talking about their partners and I just felt guilty after what I did to you, like I was selfish."
Simon: "Hey now don't be like that."
Liam: "I was selfish though that's the thing, I was only thinking about myself and I jumped to conclusions in my own mind. It was terrible. But since we haven't been speaking every day. Since I had that break. It kind of made me realize how much I missed you, how much I loved you and what I was really doing to myself with this."
Simon: "Oh..."
Liam: "I just, I dunno. I felt wrong when I told you I wanted to break up, I felt bad when I saw you cry and I felt horrible when I realized how alone I was. Yeah I had my friends but really, everyone I knew here, was through you or the boys. Or the boys themselves. I know JJ never really likes me but he sucks it up when I'm actually around. And I know I could always be a better person but, I dunno. I just feel... Weird about it."
Simon called over the waitress and gave her our order, he knew what I would want and that was just another thing I remember. I knew so much about him. His orders at different food establishments, his drink preferences, luckily being the same as mine, how he likes his food cooked. It's just. I remember so much and I miss him so much. But I can't just... Ask him out again can I? I mean once you break up with someone, even if it is only temporary because you needed it, or you just stopped feeling the same way. You can't just take them back can you?
Simon: "Please don't leave me again."
I looked up tk see him looking so sad and hurt, so upset.
Simon: "I'm being selfish for a change, I'm thinking of myself for once, and I don't want you to leave me. I don't want to go home knowing this was just a way for us to talk. I don't want to go home upset again, wishing you were next to me. I don't want to lose you again because I love you so much, and I miss you and I miss not having you aroun, I miss looking at you and seeing you smile, I miss your laugh, I miss the way you hold yourself, I miss the way you would chew out JJ if he made an inappropriate comment, I miss the way I would see you genuinely smile when you were with Vik or Harry or the girls. I miss everything about you. Please don't leave me."
I don't know what to do.
Simon: "You said you missed me, that you thought of me lately and more often. If you do still love me please don't walk away."
Liam: "One condition. If I ever feel this way again, Promise you won't stop me?"
I couldn't leave him, I can't leave him. I didn't realize how much I still loved him, how much he meant to me. But at the end of the day, maybe that break was what I needed. A bit of time away from him or any Boyd like that to really realize how I felt. How happy he made me. I felt bad for what I did but I know. If I felt these feelings once before, what's to say they won't crop up again later down the track. It sucks and it hurts. But he makes me happy and I can't even fathom the idea of being with someone else.
Liam: "I love you Simon."
Simon: "I love you too Liam."