Chapter 2 - Death Stares
I had always been scared of anything that dealt with boys, or more like nervous but still terrified. Boys were such weird creatures honestly. Especially teenage boys, more especially boys who could break girls' hearts with a finger snap so easily. That was something to be scared about.
I never had a boyfriend. Or did my pet lizard count at all? Probably not. I never had my first kiss. Yes, I, Laila Grey hadn’t kiss a boy yet. I don't think many boys even acknowledged me anyway. I was always left in the dust, although, I had been on a god awful date once. It was obstinately awkward and the worst hour of my life. Besides, who would want to go out with a girl that doesn't even speak?
This left me to where I was now; lunch. I was sitting in the back, at a lunch table that was just a girl from my History class and me. I directed my attention towards Alex, who was eating alone at a table that was directly in my eyesight.
For some strange reason, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He was incredibly handsome. I was surprise that he didn’t have girls flocking around him yet. He will probably soon. But he was too beautiful to have the personality he had. Even for the short encounter I experienced with him. His facial expression was sketch into my mind. Maybe he was having a bad day.
In the corner of my eye, I see Jack Barakat making his way to his table. Jack was very lanky and had skunk looking spiked up hair. He was always energetic along with being talented with musical instruments. I was surprised that Alex even made acquaintance with him at all.
He looked annoyed as Jack sat down with a goofy smile. The grumpy face that Alex held was amusing to look at. Honestly, how could one be that grumpy-looking when they were sitting next to Jack Barakat?
Next, Rian sat at the table as well. Considering he was best friends with Jack, it didn’t surprise me.
My cheeks flushed at the sudden thought of what I was doing. Am I really stalking Alex? God what is wrong with me?
Alex, without warning, made eye contact with me. My eyes immediately look down at my food. My stomach turned upside down, a tight uneasy feeling making me nauseous.
Why was I acting this way? I was acting like I had a school crush on Alex. Well...Maybe I did.
When I dared to look back, I could tell Alex was talking about me. I easily read his lips. He was asking who I was. I automatically knew what Jack and Rian would say. It was the generic of what anyone would describe me as.
"Oh she's Laila, she's mute."
"Mute? What do you mean mute?"
"She doesn't speak, although she's very kind and gentle."
That was the basic way of how people talked upon me. I didn't mind at all, it was better than having someone talk bad about me. Over the years I grew used to it. I was practically familiar to everything it seemed now and days. It came natural almost. Well it was for speaking wise. I was only comfortable with speaking to my brother or my Dad most of the time.
They understood was the thing. Everyone goes through a personal Hell; something that they always think about when the clock hits one during the night. It will creep into their mind like it always does and tear their mind down. It will make them cry and feel like they were alone; alone on a battle that seemed useless to even fight.
That was a part of my personal hell.
My one in the morning o'clock thinking of my personal hell crept into my mind during the day, in class, when I will be eating lunch. Or to when I might be listening to music. No matter what, it was still there. That' was when you know it was pretty fucked up. And it is.
It ate me alive bit by bit, burned a hole into my ravishing heart. I needed a lot of fixing. But as of now, I was where I was for a reason. I just didn’t know what that reason was exactly, not yet. Hopefully it was for a damn good reason.
I threw my left over food away, I didn't eat much anyway. I strode the halls as I had a few minutes to kill. Baltimore was having a gloomy day. It was overcast with dark grey clouds. The day's light barely sneaked through the school's windows.
In a quick second, I had bumped into someone. My papers tumbled out of my leather side bag. Curse me for walking with my eyes glued to the floor.
Quickly, I kneeled down to the floor, as I silently said 'sorry' ten times repeatedly in a row in my head.
"Watch it next time." The male voice spat.
With that small bit of hearing his voice, I automatically knew who I ran into. His hostile voice clicked into my mind.
Alexander Gaskarth.
With a surprise, he helped picking up the supplied that were scatted on the title floor.
After gathering my belongings, I stood back up, facing the boy I had dreaded to see.
"Aren't you going to say thank you or even a sorry?" He retorted, crossing his arms against his chest.
Abort. Abort. Abort. Abort.
My mind went crazy as my heart hammered in my chest. Sweat began to pile in the palm of my hands.
"Hmmm Jack wasn't lying when he said you were mute, huh?"
How the hell was he even expecting me to reply to that? I rolled my eyes relentlessly from the stupidity that stood before me.
His copper eyes softened and his posture loosened up. He smirked softly before walking away. "I'll see you around, Laila."
There he went, passing right by me, leaving me to my frozen body. I was at aw that he had actually talked to me.
I could have probably stood there forever but I needed to get to class. I had art, which was one of my favorite. Especially with the teacher that taught it. She was one of my favorite. Miss. Berrywinkle was a sweet lady, somewhere in her sixties and was very much silly.
My darling of a teacher had been through thick and thin with me. She was actually my first grade teacher, and was almost like a family friend too.
I began my work after Miss. Berrywinkle gave out the syllabus and explained what our first project was. I sat at in the back by myself in peace. All the other tables were filled anyway, which I was incredibly okay with. It was nice to be isolated to myself. It was always like that and I was okay with it being that way.
I guess you can say I was okay with most things that a regular teenager wouldn't be with. I didn’t have the desire to have a social life like most teenagers held. I was simply fine with being with myself. It was the only way I knew, really. I didn’t plan that to change either. I had a year left of high school and then I was free to do whatever I please. That was something I looked forward for.
As I did the outlining of my small art project, the classroom door creaked open. I don't bother looking up. It was probably just a late student.
But it turned out not to be any other late student. It was Alex - the apparently always late student.
"Ah, just sit back there with Laila, sweetheart." Miss. Berrywinkle happily said. If there was any moment that I strongly disliked her for, this would be it.
I heard him grumble as he took a seat next to me, plummeting down into the plastic chair. I didn’t know what was up with this so proclaimed Alexander Gaskarth, but I wasn’t going to put up with it that was for damn sure.
He took a short glance at me as if I was blind, besides the fact he was making it so obvious, but he must not have realized.
I was one step close to give him my infamous 'look' that could easily turn people away. My 'look' came in handy during the first year of high school. And I wasn’t going to hesitate to bring back my death stare era. Perhaps Alexander Gaskarth was going to be my first victim of the year.
However, when he wasn’t looking, I would look at him. For some reason I felt like this was turning into a foolish game here.
But nonetheless, I stared at him. I noticed he was fitted into boots with skinny jeans and a white hoodie.
His hair was something to really talk about. That was what the fuss that I had wanted to discuss. It was a lovely brown, messy and untamed. He then noticed my staring.
"Are you going to sit there and stare or do whatever you're supposed to be doing, being the good student you are?" His words were sneered and full of sarcasm. That had stung a little
But I kept my head high, and rolled my eyes at the fact he knew I wouldn’t say anything back to him. Or maybe he was taking that to an advantage, using it as a weapon.
Two can play this game Gaskarth.
I gave the death stare look, it was a face on me that made it look so obvious to three things. A. She was either extremely not interested B. You should probably shut your mouth C. She was pissed.
But Alex’s reaction? It was a first to me was the least I could say.
"Is that supposed to scare me? You and your god damn rolling eyes." He huffed.
I stopped my act, maybe which was a foolish thing for me to do. How else was I to get him to stop?
Giving him the silent treatment would probably fix things up, but didn’t I give the silent treatment to everyone? I thought about not paying him any attention. Honestly I was not quite sure why I was over thinking this, or why he was all of a sudden constantly on my mind, but I was absolutely not going to let him do that to me. He was just a silly and dumb boy who obviously doesn't deserve my attention.
For the rest of the time being, I kept to myself, ignoring Alex much as possible. I was proud of the fact that I didn't look over at him, not even one bit.
Laila – 1, mind - 0
The day wrapped up, and first day of school wasn't a full success but wasn't a fail.
But little did I know that this exact day would be the beginning of a new change. Although I can't give out if this change was good or bad to you yet, it was both almost. This day remarked a new journey that I didn't see coming at me. It was the beginning of a new chapter of learning, heart break, discovering and most of all, love.
Senior year was a roller coaster ride from hell but it had highs that felt like I was in heaven.
He had a dream, dreams all day to be exact. All of her, they all were to be the same. For her to come home and be in his arms. To have her love and soul. Every part of him misses her, to the way she made wishes at 11:11 or to the way she danced in the rain. The small dreams give him hope. Then he woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes.
____
a.n
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