Chapter FIFTEEN
Fifteen days… Theo has only fifteen more days to make me believe in love. To be honest, I am scared that he might be able to make me. The things that I’ve been feeling are something I know all to myself that has something to do about love. Or at least that’s what I thought. I don’t want to admit it, but he is doing well with the agreement and I’m not.
It’s already one in the morning and I still can’t find any sleep. I want to get some sleep already! I sigh and walk over to my window. Summer’s been doing good for me, actually. Even though most of the things I’m doing are not part of my plan, it is still doing pretty well.
“You’re becoming a softie, Reese,” I tell myself, propping an elbow on the windowsill and putting my head on it. This has to be the worst thing happening in my life right now. I don’t want to feel anything towards Theo or to anyone else. No, I won’t fall for him.
Maybe if I’m not being surrounded by people who’ve been broken hearted before, I might not be thinking this way—that most guys will break girls’ hearts. If my mom can set a good example for that matter, then what Theo wants might happen. But sadly with my life, no one can set that example I’m looking for. Even my best friend sucks at that.
I wonder how’s Chloe. She hasn’t message me yet and I wonder if Walter is being the good guy now. I don’t want to think that he will cheat on my best friend again, but I can’t help it. Once someone done it, then that’s that. I can’t take the thought of my best friend being broken hearted by the same guy twice.
I head to my bed, grab my laptop and type her a message.
From: reesesnobber@yahoo.com
To: chloegoddess@gmail.com
Subject: How’s life?
Chloe! How are you, girl? I miss you so much. You must message me right away after reading this, okay? How’s Walter? I hope he hasn’t done anything stupid because seriously, I will cut off that thing he has. Okay, on a serious note, that’s just yuck! But you get what I mean.
I’m okay, if you’re going to ask me. Summer’s doing… hmm… okay, I guess? It’s nice here. You should’ve just come here with me instead of getting back with your ex.
So, okay. I know, I’m bitter with your decision. But I’m your best friend! You should know that I’m just worried about you.
This is all I’ve got to say for now. Message me. Love ya!
I place my laptop back on my nightstand and lay down on my bed. Later is another day with Theo convincing me about love and whatsoever. Seriously, I want to know what will he get after this little deal. I don’t think he will benefit anything from it. Plus, he only gets random shouts and snaps from me. Don’t he get tired of hearing me complain about everything he says?
Another thing I’m thinking is that look Joan has. There is something about it. I have to find that out. She looks happy, I can tell that but deep down, it feels like she’s sad, alone, hurt. What—or maybe, who—can hurt her? She’s a sweet woman and really nice so I don’t think there’s someone or something that will hurt her. But whatever that look she has, it has something to do with love.
Again? Love’s fault again? my mind mocks me.
That’s what I’m feeling. I can sense that that’s the root of that look. And maybe, I can dig some information from Theo.
“Reese?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Who is it?” I ask even though I already know that it’s just Theo.
“Thought you’re still awake. Want to go for some walk?” he asks on the other side of the door.
I lift my blanket over my head. “No. Go away!” I say. Who wants to go for a walk at one in the morning?
“Come on, Reese. I know you can’t sleep too,” he whines. What does this guy wants anyway?
“Go aw—”
“I’m coming in,” he informs me, cutting me off. The door opens and he pops his head in, looking around.
I sit up and glare at him. “What do you want now? I want to sleep already.”
He gets inside and tower over me. “I know you want to.” He, then, reaches my hand and pulls me up to my feet. “Come on. It won’t be that bad.” I’m slowly walking behind him. “And besides, this can be our alone time.” He looks back at me and winks.
I scowl at his back. One thing that surprise me is that, he is walking my hand and I’m not taking it away from me. His hand feels warm and soft. I don’t know what has got into my mind, but I entwine my fingers to his and it fits perfectly. He looks back at me again and just smile before opening the front door.
The wind is quite cold at this time of night. Just then, I noticed that I was only wearing a white tank top and a short shorts. I feel naked in the middle of the night. This is Theo’s fault. When he notices that I’m about to take my hand off of his, he tightens his grip on me.
“Theo, let go,” I try to say as I struggle to get my hand off him.
“Reese, we are going to walk,” is only he says.
“I’m only wearing pajamas!” I whisper-yell at him.
He stops and looks at me. Realization hits him, making his eyes wide eyes. “Oh, shit. Sorry.” He takes off his jacket and puts it over my shoulder. I feel a warmth climbs to my cheeks so I look away. “Sorry if I just dragged you out like that. I didn’t mean it.”
“Yeah, right,” I say, just to hide the redness on my cheek. I shouldn’t blush. I shouldn’t blush. Snap out of it, Reese. Don’t blush!
“Let’s go to the beach,” he says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and leading the way.
I try to stand my ground and freeze my feet to where I’m standing but Theo is too strong for my liking.
I hate that I’m feeling the odd feeling inside of me again. What is it? I don’t think I like it. I’m hating this feeling. I don’t want it to be there and I have to take it off of me.
* * *
I’m tired.
My feet hurt and I’m already sleepy. Why did I let him drag me all the way up to the beach anyway?
Because you want to.
Stop it, mind!
Can’t. You’re thinking of kissing him too.
NO WAY!
“Reese, are you okay?” Theo asks.
I shove him away and walk a little further away from him. What is going on in my mind? I am not thinking of kissing him. No way! That is not going to happen. Nu-uh.
“Reese?”
I haven’t noticed that Theo is now standing in front of me. He cups my face and looks at me in my eyes. I just stare back, swallowing the lump that forms in my throat. Am I… Am I…
No. I shake the thought out of my head. I know I’m not. I am sure I’m not. But looking at him this close…
Oh no.
I think I’m falling for him.
I’m falling in love with Theo already.
I back away and try to control my breathing. There has to be some reason for this. I can’t fall for him in just what? Two weeks? That’s crazy.
“Reese—”
“Go away!” I shout at him. We’re almost at the beach. I shouldn’t have let him. I shouldn’t have agreed with that stupid deal. I shouldn’t have met him. “Just… don’t get any close to me.”
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I turn my back on him. I can’t say that I’m falling for him already. That will mean, he wins. No. This is just a crazy nightmare and I will soon wake up. I can’t fall for someone like him. He’s like the opposite of me. I can’t like someone like that. And I don’t want to like someone. I don’t want to deal with love and heartbreak. I don’t want to be one of those girls crying on the bathroom floor. I don’t want to get my heart broken by someone I merely recognized as a friend.
“Reese, tell me what’s wrong.” There’s a pleading tone in Theo’s voice. I won’t let him get any close to me now. I can’t let him get any close to me anymore. This has to stop… whatever this is.
“I want to go home. Don’t follow me. Or just walk far away from me. I don’t want you to get too close to me. I don’t want you near me,” I say with a warning tone. I breathe before starting to walk back home. This is a lot to take in.
But Theo is always Theo.
He stops me by my hand, asking, “What’s wrong? We are okay earlier.”
The urgency in the tone of his voice makes me snap at him. I face him with a menacing stare in my eyes. “I told you to back off! What part of it you don’t understand, huh, Theo?”
He doesn’t let go of me. “I told you I’m not going to back off. I won’t. Not unless the month you gave to me to make you believe in love is up. And that if I won’t be able to make you believe in it. Reese,” he lets my hand go, “I get tired as well, you know. I’m not a robot that doesn’t feel anything.” He purses his lips. “Don’t tell me to back off. I don’t want to. I like you… a lot. I’m trying everything I can to ignore how you talk to me, how you make me feel like shit or an asshole… I ignore all those things everyday because I like you a lot. But right now, with this? I don’t know what should I do already.”
I swallow and don’t let him get to me. I pull on an indifferent look on my face, like I’m not affected of what he has said. “Then stop already. Stop whatever you’re doing. I told you this before. You can’t make me believe in love whatever you do and say.”
“That is bullshit, Reese!” he yelps, making me take a step back. “Bullshit. I can see in your eyes you’re already feeling something, but why?” He holds me on my shoulder. “Why are you avoiding it, Reese?”
“Because I’m afraid!” I answer right away. I can’t hold back it anymore. He is asking for it then I’m giving him answer. Right now, at this time. “Because I don’t want to be like my mom and Chloe and all those other girls. They’re all broken and scarred for the rest of their lives! Someone made them feel like shit and I don’t want to feel that. I don’t want to.”
“How can you know? You can’t—”
“You don’t know anything, Theodore. You don’t know what it feels like when your dad left and your mom is crying every night, wishing for the pain to just go away. You don’t wake up everyday, telling yourself that everything will be alright. You don’t talk to your best friend, reminding her that everything will be alright after her boyfriend cheated on her. You don’t see girls crying on the bathroom floor because they got heart broken. So just stop.”
I walk away. I can’t really handle it anymore. The odd feeling is telling me to stop and that I should just spit out what my feeling is really about for him. What will happen in the morning after this? What will he say to me afterwards? What will happen to our deal?
I wipe the tears that escape my eyes. I shouldn’t be crying. I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
“Reese?” someone calls out.
I squint my eyes and a figure show in front of me. Cory is wearing a khaki shorts and a white polo. “Cory?”
“What are you doing out here? It’s almost two-thirty in the morning,” he asks, coming close to me.
I blink before looking away. “I was just taking a walk. I’m about to go home now, actually.” I walk past him but he stops me.
“Did you just cry?”
“No. I just got—”
“Don’t lie to me, Reese. I know you. What’s wrong?”
“Just… please. I just want to go home,” I say, almost pleading.
He lets go of me. “Okay. I’ll let you be. I hope you can open up to me. I’ll be here if you need someone to talk to.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, walking away now.
Although, I don’t think I can open up to him. I still remember that rainy night he kissed me out of nowhere.
Oh, just perfect. What do I do now?
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And you thought I've forgotten about this story now? Uh, no. :) Finally, I get to update this--thanks to @Wonders15 for messaging me and asking me to update this story already. So this chapter is dedicated for her (I hope I'm right that you're a her).
Reese finally lets out her emotions. Hmm. What do you think will happen next after those confessions? Haha. Stay tuned!
xx jules_