I had come to the conclusion that the world had a sick sense of humour.
It was playing a practical joke on me. A quite annoying one at that.
The joke started on the plane. During dinner, I was served salad with pine nuts for appetizer, then for dessert, I was offered rocky road ice cream.
When I got off the plane, I knew how humid and hot it would be outside, so I decided to buy some ice cream to cool down, but then the only flavour of Magnum they had left was almond.
A big sign with my name, 'Matteo Lopez' awaited me as I walked out of the airport, the man holding the sign was snacking on some peanuts when I approached me.
The traffic was heavy. So, to pass the time I watched some cooking videos on YouTube, and no matter what I watch, videos of peanut butter cookies kept on popping on the recommended section.
I told everything to my childhood friend, Axel Salazar, over the phone, and he blatantly laughed at me. "Dude, don't be over dramatic, it's a coincidence, I'm sure the world doesn't want you dead." He laughed again and I stayed quiet.
"It feels like a bully keeps trying to feed me nuts even though he knows I am greatly allergic to them. Seriously, it's stressful."
"Maybe you'll relax while you're in traffic." Axel said with a chuckle.
"Urgh... Traffic here is the worst. Thank goodness for YouTube."
"Still watching Damien's cooking videos? How many times have you watched them? How many times have you repeated them?" Axel teased. I didn't react. "You're finally going to see him again. In person. The great Damien Licauco. What do you feel?"
"Afraid."
"Afraid? Shouldn't you be excited? He's the whole reason why you decided to study civil engineering at UST after all."
"That's not exactly true. It's Peter's dream to become a civil engineer, I'm just fulfilling that dream for him." I said a small smile. "But you're right, my choice of school is heavily influenced by Damien."
"Heavily influenced?" He couldn't sound more sarcastic. "Teo, he's the only reason why you chose to study all the way here in Manila, away from your parents. You chose UST because Damien is studying there. Seriously, do you know how much trouble that is for me?"
"Oh please, no one forced you to follow me. You wanted to follow your Dad's footstep, that's why you chose to study civil engineering at UST. He's an alumnus there, after all."
"Right." Axel chuckled. "You should be thankful that your Dad is an alumnus there too, or else your Mom would never even accommodate the idea of you studying there, away from her." He chuckled again. "So, what are your plans? How will you approach Damien?"
"I don't know, honestly. Things didn't go so well when my family went home last year." I replied guiltily.
I can still remember what happened very vividly. The start of the vacation was actually good. It wasn't as fun as the years before, since Peter wasn't around anymore, but Damien made sure that there was not a moment that I feel sad or depressed.
He made it his mission, those months, to make sure that I would have fun and smile all the time.
At that time, my feelings for him were already growing stronger, so I was very happy every time we were together.
We both have something in common; we lost a dear person in our lives, and that connection made us grew closer. By the end of my vacation, Damien and I were really close. I can't say best friends, but close to that.
On the last night before my family fly back to New York, Damien and I made plans to have a sleepover at my room. He went to buy supplies using his uncle's motorbike, but he got into an accident.
He was sent to the hospital, and when I heard what happened my heart dropped. I couldn't bear to lose another friend.
Luckily, his injuries were minor, though he suffered a concussion.
Peter's younger sister blamed me. "If you didn't make plans with him, this wouldn't happen! Why do you have to bring bad luck to our family? Peter got sick because of you now Damien! What more bad things should happen before you leave our family alone?! Just leave us alone!"
The thing is, I believed her. I believed that I am a bad luck to Damien, that I was the reason why Peter got sick and died.
I haven't told anyone about it, but years ago, back in New York, I was approached by a girl, a bit older than I was, she looked weird, and for a reason. She suddenly approached me and told me that she is a fortune teller. She said that I was destined to be alone, that I would only bring bad luck and misfortune to whoever I fall in love with. Not just any bad luck, but I would bring disaster to their lives.
I didn't believe what she said, I thought it was ridiculous, then Peter died, and then Damien got into an accident. Suddenly, her crazy words back then made sense, it became the truth to me, and it became my destiny.
"Stop blaming yourself for what happened." Axel told me. "It was an accident, no one wanted what happened."
"I know." I sighed. I lied.
"Man up, Matteo, you're bound to meet him soon. You can't run away, when you do."
"There's no need to, he won't recognize me anyway."
I should've known something was up when Axel told me that in his know-it-all tone.
It took me more than two hours to get to the condo from the airport. The tall building was just a few steps away from the campus. The contrast of the modern structures outside the campus and the historical structures inside the university was amazing.
Summer was supposedly over, but it was hot outside. Wearing a cap, I walked inside the condo with only my leather backpack - my parents sent all my belongings beforehand - and was relieved by the coolness brought by the air-conditioning.
A girl clad in familiar designer brands stood by the elevator. She was older than me by about a year or so, and was holding a basket of cookies in wrappers with a ribbon while talking to her phone. "I'm still at the lobby. I'm still waiting for him, he's done jogging by now, I suppose. If I don't wait for him here, then I might not get a chance to talk to him."
She hasn't even pressed the elevator button, so I did. I wonder why she was waiting by the elevator, she could've sat in the lobby instead. She hadn't pressed the elevator button, so I did.
"He's here, I'm hanging up." She said as she tidied herself up and looked at the elevator.
When I looked at who she was waiting for, my heart almost popped.
It was Damien.
Of all places, why do I have to see him here? And why this early? I'm not prepared for this at all. What would I do? Should I say hi to him? What if he's angry at me because of what happened? What if he really blames me for it...?
He was wearing jogging pants and a shirt that hugged his body perfectly, showing off his well-toned physique while still leaving a lot to the imagination. He had his earbuds on as he drank water from his bottle.
He looked as handsome as ever.
And even though he just got back from a jog, he still looked fresh. With a few traces of sweat, Damien only looked more desirable, if anything.
I couldn't take my eyes off his incredibly red lips.
My heart wouldn't stop pounding. It felt like it would burst out of my chest at any moment. I was contemplating whether to approach him or not, but that girl suddenly spoke.
"Damien, what a coincidence..." The girl said as Damien stood in between us. "Just got back from your usual morning jog, I see."
Coincidence? What a lie, you've been waiting for him to get a chance to flirt.
Damien took out one of his earbuds as he turned to the girl. "Gotta stay healthy." Damien replied in his usual polite voice. He wasn't smiling, but his tone was friendly.
"You look healthy enough to me." The girl said in an irritating flirtatious voice as she scanned Damien's body with her eyes.
Way to be subtle, woman. Stop looking at him like that.
I hated the way she stared at Damien, it was like she was going to eat him alive at any moment.
The elevator door opened, and we all got in. I can't look at Damien, I was too nervous. In fact, I even tried to hide my face away from him.
I reached for the elevator button but he pressed it first, surprisingly, we were going up to the same floor. For goodness sake, first we live in the same building, now we're on the same floor too.
My heart would never be at ease.
"I baked this cookie myself." The girl said. "Take some, I want to get your opinion on how they taste." She told Damien.
"Sure, thanks." Damien said as he took a wrapper. "I'll taste them later." He added with a smile.
"Be sure to tell me what you think." The girl added as she smiled at Damien.
"Yeah, sure." Damien replied.
Why do I feel like a third wheel? I hate this feeling.
"Are you new here?" The girl asked me. "It seems that you live in the same floor as well." That sounds really great. "Want some cookies, they're freshly baked. Don't be shy, we're all neighbors anyway."
That took me by surprise. I looked at the basket of cookies and remembered the joke the world has been playing on me the whole day. The videos of peanut butter cookies instantly popped into my head.
Without saying anything, I looked at the girl.
I am not risking my life for some cookies that some girl who is trying to flirt with Damien baked.
I could feel Damien staring at me, luckily the elevator door opened and I quickly retreated. I made my way to our unit without turning back and keyed in the passcode.
Once inside, I could finally breathe in relief. Well, not really. I knew how weird I acted. Damien might even think that I am some rude guy, I can't blame him, since I practically snubbed that girl.
"Teo, is that you?" I heard Axel's voice.
"Yeah. Since when did you get here?" I asked him in return as I walked inside the three bedroom unit.
"Just this morning." Axel replied as I saw him unboxing a few things in the living area. "Our Dads outdid themselves with this place. Well, they build luxury houses for a living, so I wouldn't expect any less."
The place was nothing short of opulent. "This is too much for students like us." Somehow I could tell that my Mom had something to do with how lavishly the place was decorated... "So, how is Lola Corazon?" Axel had to fly a week earlier to visit his grandmother.
"Healthier than a bull." Axel replied. I sat on the couch and watched as Axel took out countless video games. "So, anything else interesting happened to you?" he asked in a meaningful tone.
"You knew, didn't you, that Damien live on the same floor as us?"
"I saw him go out for a jog when I got here. And he lives not just on the same floor, his unit is literally on the other side of the wall of your room." He added.
"What?! What nonsense is that?"
"It's a freaky coincidence."
"More like the world is playing a big prank on me. I almost had a heart attack when I saw him."
"So, where did you meet him? How did it go?" He asked.
I told Axel what happened, and he wasn't too happy by what he heard. "We can't really judge her for liking wearing designer brands. I mean, how much is that bag of yours worth? I agree with you though, she sounds like a potential bitch." That mouth of his would surely get him into trouble, one day.
"I didn't say that, all I said was she was obviously trying to flirt with Damien."
"I said she had the potential to be a bitch, I didn't say that she is one already. She obviously researched Damien's schedule, probably by stalking him, then she pretended like everything was a big coincidence, like the world wanted them to ride that elevator together. She's a creep, and that's a step closer to reaching her full potential of being a bitch."
Axel then stood up and sat beside me. "You, on the other hand, are a coward." He patted my shoulder. "Why do you have to run away from him?"
"I was too surprised, then I became nervous. What if he really blames me for...?"
"You haven't even talked to him about it yet, don't make your own conclusions. Are you sure he really didn't recognize you?"
"I told you, it's because of his accident."
"Ahhh, because of his amnesia?"
"He doesn't have amnesia, Axel. His concussion because of the accident wasn't that serious. He just couldn't remember the faces and voices of the people he met before the accident. Aside from that, he could remember everything."
"So it's like he's meeting everyone for the first time, after the accident? Even his parents?" I nodded. "That's freaky. Maybe you're right, maybe the world hates you, that's why it erased your face from your beloved's memory." He teased sarcastically. "You lost weight and your face got smaller, you grew out your bangs, even without his weird condition, he would have a hard time recognizing you. Not to mention your irrational dislike of being photographed and your lack of any social media account." He added in the same sarcastic tone.
"Are you trying to make me feel better or rubbing salt on my wounds?"
"You mean your self-inflicted wounds?" Axel then looked at me seriously. "You know you'll have to talk to him soon, don't you? Sooner or later, he'll recognize you."
"I know. I know."
Honestly, though, I was afraid.
Afraid that Damien really blamed me, afraid that he is angry at me, but more than anything else, I was afraid that I might be really a bad luck to him. My mere presence in his life is enough to bring him misfortune. I don't want to be a burden to him. I don't him to suffer because of me.
Think what you want, but I believe in fate, destiny, and whatnot.
I knew that he wouldn't recognize me, but I didn't know it would hurt this much.
There's no one to blame but myself. I shouldn't have run away. I deserve this pain, for being a coward.
Two things kept me awake that night.
First, my clothing dilemma. Mom replaced every clothes I packed. My closet was filled with clothes that I don't usually wear and brands that I don't really bother with.
She owns a well-known modelling agency and believes that she have a fashion reputation to protect. She does so by making sure that she and her family look like they're plucked out of a fashion magazine.
I have no problem with that back in New York, everyone I know dresses like that there, but I wanted to keep a low profile on campus. I don't like drawing attention to myself. I like my peace and quiet and plenty of personal space.
The second thing that kept me awake was the thought of Damien, literally, just beyond the wall of my room.
Is he still awake? What is he doing? I miss him. We just got closer last year, but when I was in the elevator with him, it felt like we made no progress at all. We were total strangers. I want to talk to him, but I'm afraid...
I know that I am to blame. Why do I have to such a coward? I wish I am as outgoing, as friendly, and as socially comfortable as Peter.
Finally, I could feel my eyes closing.
"Teo." I heard a voice call my name. "Open your eyes, Teo. MATTEO!"
I opened my eyes in surprised as saw that my room was lit in a blue light. I slowly sat up and tried to familiarize myself with the weirdness of that dream. In the middle of the blue light was a boy.
"Finally, you're up." The boy said. "Why did you run away from Damien? I gave you all those hints, but still you wasted them. You already knew that those were peanut butter cookies, you should have said that you're allergic to nuts and that would get Damien's attention. Better yet, you should've eaten one on the spot, then Damien can get you to the hospital when your allergy attacks, then he would have known who you are by now." His demeanour was playful. He sounded enthusiastic, like a caffeinated teenage boy.
This is a weird dream. I must be really frustrated with how my first meeting with Damien, after a year, went horribly wrong.
"This is not a dream." The boy said, as if hearing my thoughts. "You're blaming yourself for his accident, to the point that you can't even talk to him. You're afraid that he would really blame and hate you, so you're running away. You won't be able to take it if you hear him say it."
I blinked at the boy basking in the blue light a few times. How did he know all that? Right, it's a dream, it's all in my head. He's a fabric of my thoughts, so he knows them well.
"You don't want to bring disaster to his life, that's why you think staying away from him is for the best." The boy continued. "You think that being with you would only bring him bad luck. Well, the world is pulling you apart, it doesn't want the two of you to be together So, I can't blame you."
He must be the embodiment of all my insecurities. What kind of dream is this exactly?
"This is not a dream, alright. How many times would I have to say that?"
"No. It must be. It's the only logical explanation for all of this. Especially you."
A floating boy basking in a bright blue light isn't something that can remotely happen in real life. There was just no way.
The boy suddenly floated closer to me, then smack. He slapped me.
"Ouch, that hurts... What was that...? Ehhh? Wait a second... It hurts?! How can...? Then this is really..."
"Not a dream. I told you."
I was quite shocked. I was speechless for a few moments as I processed everything. I wanted to scream and be afraid, but the first thing that came to my mind was the boy's last words. "So the world really doesn't want me and Damien to be together."
"Yes."
"Would I really only bring disaster to his life? Was that fortune teller right after all?"
"Not anymore. Something happened, and your destiny is all screwed up now. The world really is trying to pull you apart though."
"What happened? Why is my destiny all screwed up? Why does the world want to pull us apart? Who are you? What are you? Why are you here?" I was panicking, alright.
"Geez, calm down boy. First of all, I am an agent of Fate. Second, I can't tell you why your destiny is screwed up, Fate would get angry at me. Third, the world wants to pull you apart as a result of what caused your destiny to be screwed up, another side effect. It's the reason why Damien got into an accident, forgot your face, and got his phone, which got pictures of you, broken. Basically, the world is doing everything it can to make sure you and Damien don't end up together. Lucky for you, though, I am here to help."
I was practically dumbfounded. "I don't know where and how to even begin to process all that..." I was so right to think that the world is playing a practical joke on me. Worst, it was trying to screw my love life up. "So, to put it simply; the reason why Damien got into an accident and forgot my face is because the world wants to pull us apart?"
"I just said that."
"And you, an agent of Fate, want to help us be together? Why? How?"
"I can't tell you why right now, but here's how."
The boy lifted his arm and on his outstretched palm a necklace with a pendant appeared. The necklace is white gold and the pendant was a small spherical orb with an hourglass inside it. The orb was a clear white crystal lined with gold, while the hourglass inside it was made of diamond, also lined with gold.
The necklace slowly floated towards me - everything was so inexplicably weird that I had no choice but to go with it, or else I might go crazy - and as it did, the boy continued to speak.
"Listen well, Teo, once you're ready to fight for your love, that pendant would glow. The first means things had started, the second would summon miracles, and the third would signal that your fate had been changed, or in your case, fixed and sealed." The boy smiled playfully at me as the necklace landed in my hands. "Usually, only one miracle happens to the owner of that pendant, but since you are up against the world itself - and some other circumstances -, Fate has decided to give you as much miracle as you need. Once that pendant glows the second time, the hourglass would turn every time a miracle is about to happen. It is in your hands to make use of that miracle."
"NOW!" The boy said. "You have the tool, make good use of it. Seize the miracles, fix your fate, and follow your heart."