I realized after writing this that I'd already written something similar to it a while back.
iTs fiNe tHiS iS fiNe
"If it bleeds, we can kill it." Michael said, trying to keep his voice even.
"It doesn't bleed, Michael!"
"I-I meant breath. If it breaths, we can kill it." Jeremy squinted his eyes.
"I don't think it breaths either."
"You know what? We're going to kill this thing wether or not it breaths or bleeds, okay? It's gotta die somehow!"
Six hours earlier
Michael waved his hands wildly. "-and that's why we would be great monster hunters!"
Jeremy rolled his eyes as Christine let out a soft giggle. "Michael, I'm sorry, but I honestly don't believe you could ever do anything like that." Christine managed to get out between fits of laughter.
"Yeah dude, I agree." Jeremy chuckled and grabbed one of Michael's hands, trying to calm his excited aura. "As much as I'd love to work in the X-Files, I'd rather not be an X-file."
"Oh come on babe, you know I'd protect you!" Michael gave Jeremy a quick peck on his lips.
"What are you guys talking about?" Jenna sat down next to Christine, giving her a big smile.
"Michael thinks that him and Jeremy would be a great monster hunting couple!" Christine let out in one breath. As she took a breath, Michael took the time to interject.
"Yeah! Don't you think that we could," He made a weird motion with his hands. "Hunt those monsters real good?"
"Michael, I swear to god." Once Jenna's laughter died down, she pulled up her phone, doing a quick google search. She showed her phone to Christine, who nodded along excitedly.
"Alright boys," Jenna showed her phone to Jeremy, who visibly paled. "If you really think that you'd be good 'monster hunters', why don't you try this house?"
Jenna showed the phone to Michael, and unlike his boyfriends reaction, Michael smiled wide.
"Hell yeah! That sounds totally radical!"
"Michael we are in the 10's, not the 90's." Jeremy mumbled, putting his head in his hands.
"So? What do you say?" Jenna asked. "Do you accept the offer?"
"I think I speak for both of us when I say that we would love to."Michael smiled and grabbed Jeremy's hand lovingly.
"No, no, he doesn't speak for both of us. I don't want to do this!"
And that's how Jeremy ended up here, in the creepy old house a few blocks away from the school. He held onto his flashlight like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
"W-why would you, why would you do this?"
Michael let out a soft chuckle. "Dude. Monsters aren't real!" He shone his light around the house as he continued to talk. "The worst think that we're going to find is like, a homeless dude."
The house made a loud creaking noise, and Jeremy practically jumped into Michael's arms. "Oh god, oh god, we're gonna die we're gonna-"
"Baby. It was just the house adjusting. Calm yourself." Michael chuckled as he placed his boyfriend back on the ground next to him. "See?" Michael began to slowly raise his flashlight upwards. "There's nothing to be afraid-"
Jeremy screamed loudly as the figure in front of them stood, staring at the two boys. Michael stood frozen in place. "W-w-" He stopped himself. "Okay Jake, very funny. I like your costume, though."
"T-t-that's not, that's not Jake." Jeremy said, pulling Michael behind him as the figure floated forward.
"Sure it is! Look," Michael moved his hand forward. "It looks see through, but is really-" he cut himself off as his hand went right through the thing.
"No, this is still okay. If it bleeds, we can kill it." Michael said, trying to keep his voice even.
"It doesn't bleed, Michael!"
"I-I meant breath. If it breaths, we can kill it." Jeremy squinted his eyes.
"I don't think it breaths either."
"You know what? We're going to kill this thing wether or not it breaths or bleeds, okay? It's gotta die somehow!"
Michael tried to step forward, but Jeremy pulled him back. "W-wh-what are you going to kill it with? Your flashlight?"
Michael stopped, keeping his eyes on the figure in front of them. "Oh."
Jeremy grabbed the hood of Michael's hoodie, pulling him back. Once Michael was behind him, he grabbed his hand and sprinted out the front door of the house, not bothering to shut it after them.
The boys didn't look back until they had reached the end of the street.
Jeremy heeled over, trying to breath properly. "T...that was a, was a ghost."
"No shit, Sherlock." Michael took a deep breath, his face turning back to its normal color. "And you made us loose the bet with Jenna!"
"Michael," Jeremy started, sitting down in the sidewalk. "If, if it really bothers you, like," he took another breath. "That much, just like, lie and say we did it, and got the, the..."
"Ghost?"
"Yeah, that thing." He held up his free hand, and Michael took it, helping Jeremy up. Not letting go, Michael stated to walk back home.
"Don't you think Jenna will want us to go on another monster hunt? You know, if we say we solved the mystery?"
"Nah." Jeremy said, matter of factly. "There's no way she would have another case."