The morning after that horrible day, I woke up with a headache. I knew it wasn't gonna be a good day whatsoever.
Spencer was still asleep. I assumed he wasn't going to college today either. I was worried about him.
I found myself sketching a vague image of his on my lunch break and he was literally practiced his name in calligraphy class.
I tried to focus on the numbers rather than him in maths class, then I started wondering, why do I have to take maths if I'm an art students.
I knew this day wasn't going to be good at all. Even after the 2 cups of coffee, the feeling lounged at the pit of my stomach.
What I didn't know, however, was that my heart was going to break that very day. Yes, more broken than it already was.
But that was a story for later.
I didn't go back to the apartment after college. I went to the school of business. Jack was still in class and I waited impatiently outside his class. When I say outside his class I mean right by the door.
Jack was soon out of class among a wave of students. He was the tallest so I spotted him easily.
"Hey man what you doin here?"
"I need a huge favour" I skipped pleasantries. I didn't have time for those.
"Sure man throw it on me"
"Don't say weird shit like that. It's weird"
"Well excuse me for not knowing the difference between good slang and bad slang. You know I'm still fairly new at English-"
"Ok not the point," he nodded and urged me to continue.
"I need the number of the psychiatrist
Spencer has been seeing"
Jack froze in his place. "How did you know he was seein a psy-"
"I'm not an idiot you know. I can tell if Spencer has been seeing a doctor or not. Or if he's sneaking in or out or not. Or hell I know if he's stealthily trying to jerk off or not. We literally live in the same room, 3 feet apart. Plus, Spencer talks in his sleep- A lot"
"Look I really don't think it's my place to say or give anything."
I let out a frustrated breath. "Listen to me, Jack. Spencer is not okay. He hasn't come to college yet and he NEVER misses a class. He barely speaks a word and he's always looking withdrawn. I don't think he eats anymore. I need to know the psychiatrist and I need to know her now"
Jack seemed to process all that as we walked outside the school of business and into the outer lounge. We took the nearest empty picnic table, which were sprawled across the lawn, and sat facing each other.
He pulled out something that looked like a wallet from his backpack. When he opened it, it had nothing but business cards. He picked through them until he found the one we needed.
He held it between his index and middle finger as if he's about to pull a bad ass card straight out of Yu-Gi-Oh.
"I took this from her desk." he handed it to me. As I reached for it, he withdrew it back. "Ah-Ah. You did not get it from me."
"Don't worry about it" I took the card and hurried away from campus.
"A thank you would've been nice" Jack yelled but I was already on my way.
I pulled out my phone and started punching in the numbers of Pr. Linda Peterson Grayson, but right before I could tap the dial button, my phone started ringing. It was Jessy.
"Hey Jess sorry but make it quick"
"I was going to say the same thing. Be quick and meet me at Crusty's in 10 minutes" she said and hung up. It took exactly 8 seconds to finish the call.
It only added to my frustration.
I gave my phone a look over then slid it into my pocket again.
I was at Crusty's in a matter of minutes.
Jessy was there at a table near the counter.
"Emery, take over" Livi, Spencer's friend yelled for another employee to take over, and she sat next to Jessy.
I took the third and last seat. "What's the matter? I got here as fast as I could."
"Livi and I were hanging out the other-" Jessy was cut by Livi promptly.
"We saw Jane headed to the Devil's Alley" she looked at Jessy apologetically then shrugged. "Sorry babe but you take forever"
Babe? Jessy and Livi? What?
"Yeah so she faked a DNA test at Wonder Works. The baby is not yours."
"I know that" I said bluntly. I knew it wasn't mine. I was fucking infertile why was that so hard to believe?
"You know- how?"
"I'm sterile. Moving on"
"Well Jessy knows some people but they want 500$ for the proof that it's fake"
"Look I don't think it really matters if it's fake or not. I know it's not my baby so I don't see a problem here"
"Well Spencer does."
"Shit. Spencer" I stood up from my chair and somehow, my vision landed on a guy sitting at the back of the restocafé, smirking as he apparently flirted with the waitress. Tyler.
Rage boiled inside me. Not now, my mind said as my hands balled into fists. "Look guys I have to go now"
"But Spencer qui-"
<><><><><><>
"This is Linda" a loud voice blared from my phone as if it was on speaker.
"Profesor Linda I'm Ryder Rowan"
"Doesn't ring a bell" she quickly replied.
"My boyf- roommate is a patient of yours, Spencer Haynes"
"Ohh yes I love that boy he's the swee- is anything wrong with him?"
"Actually yes. I noticed he's been taking new medication but he seems too depressed? More than his usual level of mental downness or whatever it is called"
"Well, a tricky adverse effect of early antidepressants intake is - and I know it's ironic- stronger depression episodes. But something has to trigger it... Mental disorders medications are very delicate and patients need to be treated tenderly yet you need not show any sign of treating them as ill because denial is a great factor. So he needs special care but at the same time he needs to be treated like a normal person, which he is."
"Yeah, Yeah I understand."
"Are you aware of anything happening to him that could've lead to his breakdown?"
"Kind of, yeah"
Linda got silent for a few moments and it worried me. "Spencer is a very strong boy, I'm not concerned about the more dangerous side of the ordeal. But can you please tell him to pay me a visit as soon as possible?"
"I definitely will. Thank you, doctor, for everything."
"don't mention it. And Ryder, take care of him. His mind is full of craters that he will be trying to fill to become whole again. Help him"
She hung up. What the fuck did that mean?
Then it hit me. Craters. He- He was the moon.
He was the moon to my Earth.
I took the stairs to the apartment 2 steps at a time. I just wanted to hug Spencer and tell him that everything is going to be okay and that I-
That I love him too. I love him so much. I love him to the moon and back.
"Spencer I'm hom-" something was odd.
His guitar case was missing.
His suitcase was missing.
His shelf was empty.
He was gone.
This was completed at 5am so just ignore my mistakes and pretend everything is smooth and correct and vote and comment because they make a shank like thee happy.
More soon x