36:Or Are We?

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It's strange how we can become strangers after crossing the part of being strangers.

... 2 years later...


There were times in my life where I thought, this is when everything becomes better.

I was wrong, most of those times.

Things tend to get better and then get worse then get better again and it goes on and on.

There were times in my life where I thought I found love, whether be it Jane, or any of the ones before her. Or whether it was him.

Him who I never thought I'd fall in love with. Him who I never thought would change me the way he did. Impact my life in so many ways.

But I knew. I knew that sometimes people move on. Just like quarries, they have a destructive impact, and they leave a lot of grub behind.

He was my quarry. He dug, dug, and dug some more. He crossed the rocks, the sand, the useless metal, and reached the gold; all whilst I wasn't aware of it whatsoever.

But it doesn't matter now does it? I mean he crosses my mind sometimes but love isn't there anymore.

Two years are a good enough time to move on from an ex lover.

Two years and three months are a good enough time to dodge amnesia. For me at least.

To be honest, I had these cute images of us in my mind. Like attending graduation together, having movie marathons and dinner dates. That kind of sappy romantic shit that wasn't me whatsoever.

But like I said, I've changed.

Let me take you back a bit. Two years and 3 months after I woke up from my coma to be exact.

The dark haired, all black dressed, ear studded Ryder was gone.

I let my real hair colour flourish in its full brown shades. It had become even shorter than what Spencer cut it to that day in the bathroom.

Yes, I remember that day vividly. The doctors were surprised at the miraculous improvement I made for someone who's been comatose.

Some stuff remain a blur. Fragments of memories I don't remember, but hey progress is progress.

I didn't graduate alone however. A lot of people I cared about were there.

I was supported.

Let me tell you about a time where I was friends with Tyler, Vanessa, Jessy, Jack, and dated a girl named Jane.

Back then, I thought 'this is good I have all the people I need by my side'. I thought I had friends; the best of them.

How unrealistic of me.

When I woke up knowing almost nothing about my life, and saw these faces that were awfully familiar yet strange at the same time, I knew that they probably were the people who count.

And they were. They helped me back on my feet, until day after day I started calling them by their names, and remembering them.

Jessy and Jack had my back. Livi never left my side either.

I was surprised when my friends told me my parents didn't come and see me, even when I was practically dead. But then I gained my memory back and realised how stupid I was to be surprised. After all, I was a mistake.

Until this day, I still don't know who paid my hospital bill. It must've been more than a few thousand dollars.

I dropped a box on the floor near the door. Everything was packed and ready.

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