Standing there, shell shocked at the fact that Harry and I have just been caught by Zendaya brought on a sense of familiarity. Unable to move from my frozen state, I was suddenly reminded of the time I'd walked in on Zack screwing my cousin. It was like witnessing a car crash and yet, I was incapable of looking away. It'd taken me a full minute to process what I was seeing until I'd snapped and screamed at them for their betrayal. Even though I felt just as shocked as I had then, I couldn't find it in my to speak this time around. The way Zen was looking at Harry and I was making me want to high tail it out of my own room but Zen was currently blocking the exit.
"Av? Harry? Do one of you want to explain what the hell I just walked in on because I'm pretty sure I just saw you two kiss." Zen said, eyes flying between us. My voice still hadn't returned but I broke free from my immobile state, lifting my shaking hand to run it through my hair. I breathed out of my mouth, risking a glance at Harry to see he looked completely unaffected over being caught. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Chill, Zen. It's not a big deal."
"Zen?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, eyes meeting mine but I quickly looked away. "Only Avriella calls me that. How much time have you guys been spending together exactly?" She paused and then gasped. "Wait, are you dating?"
"No!" I protested without thought, ignoring the way I could see Harry staring at me out of the side of my eye. "It isn't like that."
"But you were kissing," she pointed out and then, her hands that were resting on her hips fell to her sides. "Oh god. Don't tell me you're just screwing each other."
"We're friends," Harry commented and shrugged. "Who often fuck."
I winced at Harry's choice of words and Zen's eyes widened even more. "You're fuck buddies?"
She was speaking again before I could answer. "How long has this been going on? Does anyone else know?"
"I-," it seemed I'd ran out of lies to tell her and sensing I was about to try and tell her another, she arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms. I dropped my shoulders in defeat. "Awhile. He was the guy I had a one night stand with. And-, Jess found out last night."
Her mouth dropped, brown eyes holding various emotions that were too hard to pinpoint. Though one of them I caught, was anger. "So, you lied about who your one night stand was?"
"Well, would you really call it lying if all she did was withhold the information?" I rolled my eyes reflexively at Harry's poor attempt to defend me, shooting him a stern look to keep his mouth shut.
"I didn't know how to tell you," I told her, pressing my lips together before continuing. "I know he's your best friend and wasn't sure if you'd be okay with it or not. I mean, clearly you're mad right now." I waved my hand towards her, knowing what I said might just make her angrier if anything but it was the truth.
"I'm not mad because you're screwing each other. I'm mad you kept it from me. We're best friends, we're supposed to tell each other everything." Guilt consumed me when her voice grew soft and I looked away, her expression only adding on to how horrible I already felt. "That goes to you too, Harry."
"I wanted to tell you-," he began and I felt my blood run cold, expecting him to throw me under the bus by telling her it was me that didn't want to tell her. "But I...well yeah, I didn't know how to tell you either. I know how protective you are of her."
"You're right, I am protective of her." She confirmed, eyes narrowing slightly when she looked from Harry to me. "Which is why, I don't really think this is a good idea. But whatever, it's your life. I can't tell you what to do."
"Exactly." Harry nodded, a small smirk on his face while all I could do was stare at Zen dumbfounded. I was expecting a much, much angrier reaction out of her. This just seemed...too easy. She looked pissed when she first walked in but now she looked completely over it.
"So, you're okay with this?" I asked hesitantly, gesturing between Harry and I while shifting awkwardly on my feet.
"Even if I'm not, will it really matter?" Silence enthused the room and I glanced at Harry, who had one arm tucked under his other with his thumb rubbing his bottom lip. He raised his eyebrows at me when we made eye contact and I sucked my lips inwardly. "That's what I thought." Zen said when neither of us responded, tone holding some amusement. She shrugged her shoulders and leant against the door frame. "I'm okay with it. Just don't lie to me again and I'd prefer if you guys didn't suck face in front of me. Or screw each other when I'm in the apartment." She paused. "Oh, and I hope you're using protection. No offense but I don't think a little Av or a little Harry coming out of a fuck buddy relationship will be any good."
"Okay," Harry clapped his hands. "That's my cue to leave." He rushed towards my door, pausing before he reached it to look back at me. He stepped forward hesitantly but then stopped, seeming to think better of what he was going to do when he lifted his hand and ran it through his hair. "I'll see you Tuesday?"
"In class, yeah." I nodded and he bit down on his lip, staring at me a moment longer before pivoting on his heel and swiftly moving past Zen who moved out of his way. We both stood there silently until we heard the front door close, another beat of awkwardness passing between us until I turned around to go pick up the clothes Harry had tossed. I moved around my room, hoping Zen would leave but I could still feel her presence behind me and her eyes on my back.
"Av?"
"Hm?"
"Can we talk for a second?"
"About?"
"You and Harry." I looked down at the clothes in my hand, folding them in order to have something to hide my red face.
"What about us?"
She didn't answer right away but then, I heard her sigh and her footsteps nearing. She sat at the end of my bed and instinctively, I looked up at her to find her already looking at me. The amusement that had been on her face earlier, now completely gone and replaced with seriousness. The only other time I'd ever seen her look this serious was the day I came crying my eyes out to her about Zack.
"I'm not going to tell you what to do," She began, pulling on my wrist gently until I was sitting beside her. "But I have to ask. Are you sure this is a good idea?"
No, I wanted to say. It probably wasn't, considering I held some feelings towards Harry that I wasn't even positive he reciprocated. He was just as confused as I was. "We're just having fun."
"I get that. And you know I'm all for you getting laid and having fun. I've done it myself but you're-, well you're not like me." She paused, moving to hold my hand gently in hers. "This is your first just physical relationship and I'm just worried you're going to get attached."
I already am. "I won't."
She pressed her lips together, eyes searching my face and I knew she probably could tell I already was too. "I love Harry to death, he's like an annoying brother but he isn't boyfriend material. He has a habit of hurting the girls he's with and I don't want to see you become one of them."
"Zen, it's fine. We're friends and it's not like that. We're both on the same page."
"You're sure?" When I nodded, her shoulders fell a little with relief and she gave me a small smile. "Okay. I just worry, you know? I know I'm always bossing you around and telling you to let loose but if you're not comfortable with what you're doing with him then you don't need to do it. I love you like my own sister, and I don't want to see you get hurt by this once it's over."
Once it's over. Her words hit me hard and they stung, because it was the truth. Whatever Harry and I were doing, was bound to end someday. Maybe we would only ever be friends with benefits but not forever. And if we found something more with one another, who's to say it would last? I'm eighteen years old, would I really find the guy I'm going to marry at this age? It was highly unlikely but still, the truth was painful.
"I won't."
"Good," She smiled with relief, knocking her shoulder against mine. "And if Harry does hurt you I'll hang him by his balls myself."
I laugh, and though it's forced I do a good job at pretending it isn't. "Okay, deal."
"Also, you guys are using protection right?"
I blushed, dropping my head slightly in embarrassment. "Yes, Zen."
"Are you on the pill?"
"No."
"Alright, that's it. We're going to plan parenthood sometime this week. I wasn't kidding about the baby thing." She arched her eyebrow and my face got even redder, which made her laugh.
"Oh my god, fine. Now drop it." I laughed along with her and eventually, hers faded and her smile fell a little.
"Just promise me something?" She asked once more, becoming serious again.
"Sure, what?"
"You'll get out before you can get attached to him. You're both my best friends and I don't want this to turn ugly."
I swallowed thickly, finding it hard to look her in the eye because I already was attached to him. And it irked me that she was saying something strikingly similar to what Jessica had said. But despite the fact I said I'd never lie to her again, I did that very thing. Because if I was sticking to my word, I'd have to end things now.
"Okay, I promise."
"Good." She grinned, pulling me in and wrapping me in a tight hug. "Love you, Av."
I hugged her back, my chin resting on her shoulder and I had the sudden urge to cry. I didn't want to like Harry. He was bound to hurt me in some way, whether in a big or small way I didn't know but I was nowhere near ready for the impact it would have on me if it happened. "Love you too, Zen."
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Hi guys! I know the chapter was super short but a lot of you have been asking for an update so I just wanted to get one out to you all even though it wasn't that long. I think I might be posting shorter chapters but they'll be more frequent.
Please vote/comment and thanks for reading!❤️