So before I start I'm just going to say now that from this point onwards I will not be writing about JJ in any of my books or if I do, it will not be much. Having now disassociated himself from the sidemen, I feel as though he is officially no longer a member and therefore no longer to be written, I'm putting this out there for two reasons.
One, my original idea to write an individual book for each Pack and sidemen member still stands but I will not be writing one for JJ which means he will not be apart of my biggest and best book ever focused around everyone.
Two, any one shots including in my previous one shot book with JJ in it I will be keeping up as at the time he was a part of the gang which I feel is completely fair but from this point onwards I will not be writing about him so any requests with JJ that I have not yet written, I apologize but I can not bring myself to write about him. Not only do I feel angry for how he did what he did (Let's be honest he could have handled it better) but he is no longer a member and therefore no longer in this and any further books. He is still a YouTuber yes but I refuse to write about him.
Now that is out of the way a one Shot.
Emily's POV
God I love my school, the location is great, the students are actually really nice, aside from a few bullies but everyone has them in the school. And I can even see the best person in the world and all of my friends.
Ethan: "Hey Emily. Heard you were sick yesterday, hope you are feeling better today."
Emily: "Hey Ethan, yeah I am feeling better but still could always be in a better mood."
Freya: "Feeling a bit down hun?"
Emily: "A little bit yeah, just recovering still but I'll be fine. How are you hun? Did you pass Math yesterday?"
Freya: "Not sure, he said that he would mark it as it was handed in but I finished just on the bell and had to run but oh well."
Tobi: "Just see if you can grab your mark at lunch?"
Freya: "Yeah I might have to. I need a good score."
Emily: "I'm sure you smashed it Frey."
Looking at my friends and how chill and relaxed we were, it's hard to imagine us all having our own lives, our own struggles. I mean Ethan use to be a lot bigger but now, dare I say he looks incredibly gorgeous. Oh who am I kidding we are really close, he would laugh it off if I said it out loud. And Josh and Tobi were like brothers. How they survived school together I don't know.
Josh: "Hey Em, Can I talk to you about something real quick?"
I watched Josh stand from his seat and walk over to me while seeing a confused look on Ethan's face while Freya and Tobi just looked like themselves... Though Tobi did seem a bit hesitant already.
Tobi: "Ah gotta go talk to you guys later."
Freya: "Kaila?"
Tobi: "Yeah she just got in, first day can be daunting so I'm going to help her out."
Freya: "You go help your girlfriend we will be happy here."
Tobi: "She... She isn't my girlfriend."
The blush on his face gave him away instantly. We all knew he liked her but her stubborn ass wouldn't see it if it was a meteorite about to crash land on her face.
Emily: "Girls night tomorrow remember."
Tobi: "I'll remind her."
Josh: "Please Em?"
Emily: "Shit Josh I'm so sorry yeah let's go for a walk, I might get a drink."
We started heading off and away from Ethan and Freya. As we turned the corner, I watched as Josh felt a bit more relaxed as he took a deep breath and steadied himself.
Emily: "Dude you really need to calm down, seriously you look like you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
Josh: "Emily J kind of am right now. It's killing me inside that everything is so normal, everything is so fine and happy and I'm not happy, I'm scared, I'm terrified and I don't know what to do."
Emily: "OK so first of all, breathe Josh. It's just us and you know no matter what I'm always going to be here. Did you kill someone?"
Josh: "What?"
Emily: "Did you assault someone? Physically, emotionally or... You know?"
Josh: "No Emily what the fuck."
Emily: "I'm just making sure I don't need to hide any bodies."
Josh: "This is serious."
Emily: "I know it is but Josh you have to understand that I don't know what's going on in that head of yours. For all I know you could get off to Turtle porn I don't know."
Josh: "How the fuck are we friends?"
Emily: "I'll let you know when I come up with something."
I could see he was a lot more relaxed so my job was done, but now he had to tell me whatever was eating away at him. I can think of three things but I'm kind of hoping it's one over the others.
Josh: "Emily do you think I'm a good person?"
That was definitely not one of the three scenarios I had in my head.
Emily: "Of course I do, Josh you are an incredible person, you are intelligent and so happy and spontaneous, you are a gorgeous young man and I know you top your classes. You have such a bright future ahead of you. And with this whole YouTube thing taking off its incredible to see you finally getting the recognition you deserve."
Josh blushed deeply before giving me that awkward smile that made me so desperately want to be his friend three years ago.
Josh: "Emily, I need you to promise me. Please and I will get on my knees and beg you, to please still be my friend after today."
Emily: "Joshua Bradley, I will stand here and tell you, with every Fibre of my being that no matter what you say. I will still be your friend, hang out with you and the others outside of school and J promise I will still be your friend after this."
Josh: "Promise?"
Emily: "I promise."
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket but this was way too important to him, I wouldn't dare interrupt him to check my phone. If it's an emergency, they can call me.
Josh: "Emily I've been struggling with this for a while now and I think I'm finally ready."
Emily: "Ready for what?"
Josh: "Emily, I think I like guys. Not just, men and women... Just exclusively. Guys."
Emily: "Holy shit really?"
I could see the tears building in his eyes, and my heart instantly broke for him. He has been struggling for so long and you can see it in his eyes, the way he talks about it, the words he used. He has been dealing with this for years... I probably could have reacted a bit better. I leaned forward and threw my arms around his shoulders as he rested his face into mine. I could hear him sob as the tears fell and stained my jumper but you know what. I don't care because my best friend just conquered a massive demon that you can't just get over. That shit haunts you for years. And it will haunt you and loom over you for the rest of your life.
Emily: "Josh you take as long as you need I am so fucking proud of you. Holy shit Josh I am, so, extremely proud of you and how strong you are."
Josh: "I'm so scared."
Emily: "Oh honey please don't be scared, I promise you that I will not say a word to anyone until you are ready to tell someone ok? I will stay quiet and forget this even happened if it will make you feel more comfortable about yourself. I promise."
Josh: "Thank you. But, there's something else."
Emily: "Hey one step at a time OK. Baby steps what you just did is huge and I won't just let you shrug that under the carpet Josh, this is a huge moment for you and I need you to really appreciate what you just did, the strength it took to do what you just did is huge and I am so fucking proud of you."
Josh: "Thank you."
His words broken between a sib as he began to cry a little more. I ran my thumbs across his cheeks and under his eyes to wipe away his tears. Even though I'm sure to him they were tears of fear. To me these were tears of victory.
Emily: "Nike would be so proud of you."
Josh: "Only you would make a Greek God reference you nerd."
Emily: "You love my random bouts of knowledge. Now have we fully appreciated what you just did?"
Josh: "Yeah... I think so."
Emily: "OK, I want you to remember this moment. Because it will never get to happen again. May J ask if anyone else knows?"
I watched him shake his head slowly confirming what I thought. I pulled him in for another big hug before pulling back and seeing him starting to breathe a lot easier.
Josh: "But there's one thing on my mind...
Ethan's POV
Freya: "You know you will have to tell her one day."
Watching Emily walk off with Josh made my heart ache.
Ethan: "I can't Freya. She means so much to me that I wouldn't want to ruin that, ever."
Freya: "Ethan honey you need to remember that this is your first love. The first person you have had a major crush on."
Ethan: "I'm so punching above my weight."
Freya: "You think they are out of your league don't you? Honey she is your best friend. You can tell her anything."
Ethan: "I can't, Freya I can't do it. Can you tell her for me. I'm so fucking scared of what she will say."
Freya: "Ethan this is huge to you. Are you sure you don't want to tell her yourself? It will seem a bit weird coming from me."
Ethan: "Please?"
Freya: "Ethan..."
Ethan: "I'm begging you."
I was so shaken with fear, so scared of how she would react and yet here I was, legitimately so scared that I actually couldn't speak to her.
Freya: "OK, sent. Ethan what are you going to do?"
Ethan: "Well. Hopefully when J tell her about how I feel she will still want to be my friend. Even if she doesn't..."
Freya: "Hey none of that. I know her and she loves you just as much as you love her."
Ethan: "I know but... What about?"
Freya: "Honey I promise you. You are going to be fine."
About ten minutes later, I saw Josh and Emily begin tk walk back over towards us laughing slightly, Josh reclaiming his seat beside me while Emily took the seat next to Freya. I was so tense and scared. What if she hates me for feeling this way? What if she hates me for asking this of her? Or worse? What if she doesn't like me?
Josh: "Hey, are you ok?"
I looked over and saw him staring so blissfully in my direction. I simply nodded my head before I felt a rear start to form in my eye. Josh must have noticed as his whole body changed but then relaxed just as quick. I looked over to see Freya noticing it as well. She looked a bit more shocked where as Emily was checking her phone.
Emily: "Oh..."
Josh: "Oh?"
Freya: "Oh what?"
Emily: "Don't oh what me I just got your message Frey."
Fuck she has seen it now, and her first reaction was just Oh? She rejects me, she hates me, thinks I'm hopeless and useless, thinks I'm a horrible person. I could barely contain my tears as she stood up and walked over to me before she leant down and kissed my cheek sweetly, wrapping her arms around me and holding me tight. I knew it was just her way of saying she was OK with it but not exactly happy.
Emily: "I'm so proud of you."
She whispered into my ear and then she let off a little but still had her arms around me. Whispering into my ear.
Emily: "Baby boy you take Josh's hand. And you make him the happiest man to ever walk this planet. I'll always be here for you."
She let go and walked back around before taking her seat again. Looking at Frey as they had one of their mental conversations. I looked over at Josh and saw he was looking down at the table. He was crying, and it broke my heart seeing him this way. I looked down to see one of his hands leaning on the long plank chair we were sitting on before focusing again on his face. I was so scared, I was so terrified and yet. I needed it, I needed to hold his hand. I needed to hold him, he makes me so happy and has made me so happy over these past couple of years that I swear. No one could ever make me this happy...
So I did it. I reached down slowly. And I put my palm over the back of his hand slowly. Letting it rest there before I saw him look over at me, tears in his eyes as I gripped his hand and squeezed it gently. He looked back at the table as if it was so fascinating. And I knew he probably thought I was just trying tk comfort him. So I took a deep breath. I leaned over. And I kissed his cheek. For two seconds I held my lips there before I pulled them away, seeing him turn his face to look at me as he stared at me. He didn't react but I knew he was just as afraid as I was. I thought I had no chance before I felt his hand shift slightly, his palm facing mine before our fingers moved as one. Interlocking together as he held my hand and squeezed back, helping me relax when I knew at that point. He knew. And he loved me back.