Chapter Twenty Three
"A fighter with a greater faith in GOD will never be a loser."
Naomi P.O.V
Church
"Are you sure you're okay?" Leroy asks, sitting on the end of the bed. He'd decided it was best that I'd slept in his bed, since I complained to the doctor about back pains. After the coffee shop incident, Melanie decided it was best if I stayed with Leroy until this all blows over. The police are currently looking for the three men, and Kevin, who seemed to be missing at the moment.
At this point, I no longer know if I'm okay. I'm at the point where if I was to die, then so be it. I no longer care, it seems that this pain, torture would never end. Maybe if Kevin killed me, I'd be free, once and for all.
Instead of saying that, I force a smile and nod. "Fine, don't worry about me." He hesitates for a moment and then kisses my forehead. I shiver at his touch and smile a real smile this time. My eyes begin to tear up and I look away, snuggling into the covers.
"How can I not worry about you? I know what you're thinking." No you don't.
"Leroy, I'm fine. I promise." I say, my voice cracking. If I didn't stay hidden under these covers, I'd start crying right in front of him, hard.
He gently pulls the covers away from my face, I squeeze my fists on the blanket. "N-N-No! I'm fine. Really, I-" Tears start sliding down my cheeks, I quickly wipe them away, before looking at Leroy.
He frowns and pulls me into his arms. "Please don't cry, Muffin."
"I'm not, Leroy. I'm okay, really." I say, snuggling into his arms. My body was absolutely freezing from the winter air.
His warmth radiating onto my body. I never wanted to leave this spot, I just wanted to stay in his arms forever, and ever.
I have the sudden desire to kiss him, but refrain. He's not your boyfriend. Of course, Leroy and I really like each other, but I know he'd soon get tired of me. He'd get tired of my nightmares, my depressing birthdays, he'd get tired of me period.
It been getting difficult to ignore the random moments we'd have. A few weeks ago, I was walking into the kitchen, grabbing something to eat. I have no idea what I tripped over, maybe it was a flat surface, I don't know. But, I tripped and almost crashed to the floor, when Leroy caught me by my waist, spun me around--giving one of those heart stopping smiles.
"Be careful, Muffin." He whispered, brushing my hair out of my face. I wanted to walk away, and leave. But instead, I leaned in about to kiss him, when my phone rang. I was both greatful and upset that the moment had been ruined. Leroy's expression mimicked mines, as I grabbed my phone, answering it.
"You have a nice face." I blurt out before I can stop myself.
Leroy chuckles and kisses my forehead again. "I agree."
I punch his arm and growl. "You're supposed to say, thank you."
"Thank you, Muffin. You have a nice face too. Oh I almost forgot."
He says, smiling. "Don't forget we have church this Sunday."
I only reply with a simple nod, moving out of Leroy's arms.
"Muffin,--"
"Don't." I cut, not wanting to hear anything else.
"What's going on? It seems that every time I mention church, you get an attitude."
I bite my lip rolling my eyes. "I don't get an attitude."
"You have one now."
"No I don't!"
"Naomi you're slipping and you know it!"
I frown looking away.
"God won't end this crap in my life.." I say, surprised at my own words.
Leroy looks away. "Naomi, you have to--"
"Have faith? Yeah, faith is totally taking me places."
"Naomi,--"
"I don't even know what I did to deserve this, Leroy! I've always been a good girl, right? Maybe I'm a loser like the kids at school would say. I've always forgiven people and tried my best not to sin. But yet, it's always something! I'm freaking tired of it! And--"
"Naomi we are going to go through things! Life will never be easy! But you have to remember that this storm is NOT forever! You have to get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself! You have to fully trust God, not halfway, fully! Naomi, you have to remember, you are loved more than you will ever know, by God. His love will never run out. You can get through this Naomi, I know you can because you've been through so much already and you got through the things with your dad, so I know you can get through all of this with Kevin. When I say have faith and trust in the Lord, I mean it. Don't give up on God Naomi, because He won't give up on you."
Tears fill my eyes and I look away. Every word He said was true. I knew it. I was being extremely selfish, after all God had done for me. I have absolutely have no right to sit here and feel sorry for myself.
"Stay locked in the Word, Muffin." Leroy whispers, kissing my forehead and walking out of the room.
Rising from the bed, I walk over grabbing my bag off of the table. Digging in my bad, I pull out my purple covered Bible, hugging it to my chest. "God, I'm sorry for doubting You." I say, sitting back down on the bed.
I open the Bible and immediately land on Romans 8:31.
"If God is for us, who can be against us?"
I spent a long time reading my Bible and saving them into my memory, so when I felt discouraged, I'd have a scripture to remember.
The Bible was filled with so many amazing things, it alone, is the best book ever.
I glance at the clock and yawn, realizing that it was midnight. I close the Bible and lean back on the bed, remembering Leroy's words.
Stay locked in the Word, Muffin.
And with that, I fall asleep..
Strong coffee scents hit my nose, and I turn to see where I am. "Naomi?" A melodic voice says. I turn around and gasp. I knew this face anywhere. It was mommy. Her hair was tied into a bun while she wore light yellow dress. Her eyes were free from bags while her eye lids wore a coat of yellow eye shadow--winged eye liner on the side.
"Mom?" I say, tears in my eyes.
"Naomi! I've come to warn you."
"What mama?"
She points behind me. I turn around and see...myself? I am standing in the middle of a street, tears streaming down my eyes. I'm looking at something very upsetting.
When I turn around, I see an unrecognizable house on fire. I gasp and step back turning back to find myself..gone. Looking back at the house, I see my body laying in a room, slowly burning away with the house.
"Mom what's going on?" I yell.
She only looks at the house and frowns. A spot appears on her chest, spreading fairly quickly.
"MOM!" I scream this time. Now I remember. This is the outfit she'd worn before she was killed. She collapses onto the ground, a tear rolling down her cheek.
I feel myself running over to her, but when I look down, my legs are still glued to the ground.
God please make this stop!
"I love you." She whispers before closing her eyes.
I run over to her and move my hand to her face, but she disappears. I look around me, and see that I'm in a dark room. Nothing but blackness.
I choke on a sob and fall to my knees. Feeling a small tap on my shoulder, I turn around, and scream. It was like I had a twin or something. She glared at me, her entire body on fire. She places both of her hands onto my shoulders, causing them to catch on fire.
"Let go!" I scream trying to get away. Her grip--or my grip, was way to strong. She shakes me violently screaming 'Wake up.'
"Muffin wake up!" She screams.
"Muffin wake up. You're having a nightmare." A soothing voice says.
My eyes fly open and I look around me. The moonlight was shining on Leroy's face as he looked at me worriedly.
I sit up quickly taking a deep breath. That nightmare felt all too real. Leroy takes his hand and runs it down my arm, causing me to smile.
"Thanks for waking me." I say.
He nods. "You're welcome."
Awkward silence.
"Thanks, Leroy."
He gives me a confused look. "For what?"
"For talking some sense into me earlier."
He smiles. "You're welcome. I hope I didn't appear too--"
"Harsh? Nah, you were honest. You didn't sugarcoat anything and that's why I like you." I blurt out, quickly blushing. He smiles and hugs my sweaty body.
"Ew no I'm all sweaty."
"I don't care, Muffin."
I hug him back and smile. "I'm gonna pray and try to sleep again."
"Okay." He says, rising from the bed.
"Do you want me to sleep in here with you?"
I blush and look away. "I-In the same bed? T-together? I don't think--"
"No." He chuckles. "There's a futon right there I can sleep on."
I nod in realization. Oh, Naomi. I chuckle.
"Well then in that case, yes. That would make me feel better."
~***~
I slip on a nice green shirt with a pair of jeans to match. Tying my hair into a neat bun, I huff. I didn't really feel like going to church today, but Leroy insisted on us going.
I'd much rather stay home, and watch TV. I don't understand why I'm feeling like this, I'm usually excited to go.
"You ready?" Leroy says, slipping on his leather jacket. I frown and shake my head.
"Do we have to go?" He silence was my answer. I sigh, putting on my shoes and following him out the door.
"Brothers and sisters, I ask that we all quiet down. The Pastor is about to speak."
Everyone quiets down, watching as the Pastor made his way to the podium.
"Praise the Lord, everybody."
"Praise the Lord." Everyone repeats robotic-ally and bored.
He clears his throat, raising his eyebrows. "I said praise the LORD, everybody."
"PRAISE THE LORD!"
"You see, that's one thing that bothers me deeply. God has done us so well, but yet we give Him half-heart ed praise. Why is that? Is it because God has not done what we want, when we want Him to do it? Have we forgotten that GOD'S timing is the best timing?
"You have to praise Him through the good and the bad, right church?" Everyone nods in agreement.
He sits in a small chair and continues preaching in the microphone. Some people get up and leave the service, as he preached the truth. He didn't care, and I admired him for that.
After he finishes preaching, he invites anyone who wants to go up to the alter for prayer. It feels like something is tugging me to go up there, but I remain seated.
He gently presses his hand onto people's heads, praying for them. A few of the worship leaders joined him, praying for other people who'd come up there.
Leroy stood from his seat and walked up there. Kentera, one of the worship leaders, smiles and waves him over to be prayed over.
She lifts her hands, asking him to do the same. He whispers something in her ear and then she starts praying, her eyebrows furrowing as she did so.
The atmosphere in the church was so peaceful, the only sound heard was people's voices as they prayed. Some women in the back were singing hymns, leaning against the church doors.
I close my eyes, listening to the sound of their strong voices. They were singing my favorite song my Mary Mary; Yesterday.
"There ain't nothing too hard for my God, no
Any problems that I have
He's greater than them all, so
So I decided that I cried my last tear... yesterday
"Yesterday, yesterday, I decided to put my trust in You. Oh, oh, oh.
Yesterday, yesterday, I realized that you will bring me through. Ah, ah, ah.--"
"Naomi, please come up here." Pastor Locks calls, causing the ladies to sing quieter. I glance at the ladies and one of them winks at me, fanning herself with her hand.
I glance back at Pastor Locks and smile, nervously standing up. Why is he calling me?
I walk down the aisle, hugging myself.
"Lift your hands, woman of God." He says. What is he doing? If I wanted prayer I would have came up here myself. Instead of being rebellious, I lift my hands, surprised at my attitude.
"Now, you're probably wondering, 'Why did he call me? I didn't ask for prayer.' I called you because God told me to. He tried to tell you as well, but you pushed the feeling away, is that correct?" I nod. Woow.
"Naomi. I haven't any idea what you're going through. But God said it's about to end, be patient. I know what you're going through may be discouraging, and you want to give up--but you can't. God has a plan for you, and you giving up isn't part of His plan. Wait on the Lord, Naomi." I look down, tears in my eyes.
He places a hand on my forehead and begins praying--I do too. I begin to thank God and ask Him for guidance. I ask Him to forgive me for my sins. Soon I start crying and I fall to my knees, crying out to God. I hadn't realized how much weight was on my heart when I'd came in here, and now, God was lifting it all. I couldn't be more thankful.
~*♥ ♥ ♥*~
After I finish praying, Pastor Locks whispers in my ear.
"Don't hold everything in, Naomi. Cast your cares upon Him. He's always listening to you." I nod lightly, standing up. I take a deep breath and feel..relieved, like a weight has been lifted from me.
When I turn around, Leroy is standing there, smiling at me. I probably look a mess, but I don't care. He pulls me into a tight embrace and I smile.
Even though things may be hard, I have to continue trusting God, I understand that now.
In the midst of all this, I felt in my heart that God put Leroy in my life for a reason. I hug him back, as we take our seats, putting our offering into the pan.
//Note from the author!//
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalms 55:22
нσρє уσυ єηנσує∂ тнє ¢нαρтєя!
Yay Naomi finally went to church!
Yesterday by Mary Mary is at the side! Listen to it! :D
I should be updating again tomorrow or the day after!
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& THANK THE LORD FOR ANOTHER DAY!