I love my AU. Feat. Sassy and OOC japan. Or yandere japan.
Reader (Human): This is my father, Kiku
Kiku (fox spirit): *calmly pulls out a fan wiTH KNIVES* walk within a meter next to my daughter and I'll send you back to hell.
Alfred (Demon): But-
Arthur (also satan): Wolves and Foxes are territorial, Alfred. It's best to leave her alone.
Alfred: How am I going to hug her ;-; *sad air horns*
Reader: *walks to Alfred and hugs him* You are my father, too.
Alfred: :0
Alfred: :'''0 I'm so toUCHED
Kiku: what
Kiku: but-
Kiku: I though I was your father!
Reader: I'm cheating on you with another father, dad.
Alfred: *holds (y/n) up and hugs her* She's Mine Now, Kiku. *flies away with her*
Kiku: *emo mode*
Arthur: *sighes* You'll get used to this.
----
Yao (anthropomorphic Dragon): *points at (y/n)* DishonoUR ON YOU, DISHONOUR ON YOUR FAMILY, DISHONOUR ON YOUR- *looks at Kiku*
Yao: Oh, it's you again, disappointment.
Kiku: *does the thumbs down at him*
Yao: >:000
(If you didn't know, giving a thumbs down means 'fuck you' or 'fuck off' in Japan)
----
Matthias (a spirit): *holds up (y/n)* guys, look at this spirit, I want to adopt her.
Lukas (a Shaman): That's a human, you idiot.
Tino (A ghost): This is a child, I like children. *pulls (Y/n) away from Matthias*
Emil (a vampire): what
Reader: I am (y/n).
Berwald(cursed statue): no, we need to give her back.
Matthias: I want to keep her
Tino: no, we can't.
Matthias: buT-
Lukas: that is kidNapping
Reader: *is taking a nap*
Emil: *looks at camera* liTERAllY
----
Kiku: where is mY BABY!?!?
Kiku: ok, you pussy faggot and strong faggot, we need to find my baby
Feliciano(ghost): ur really rude rn, what happened to you??
Kiku: no time to talk, we have a baby to save and I'm this close *shows the meter* to commiting a fucking genocide here and n o w
Ludwig (wolf spirit): bruh, chill, is it that girl with the white sash on her kimono and the tag on her Kimono that says 'Kiku's daughter, if lost give back to Kiku'?
Kiku: yes
Ludwig: well, that's embarassing.
Kiku: the more I love her ♡♡
Feliciano: *is scared* that's really out of character for you!
----
Francis (incubus): oh my- LOOK AT THIS CHIlD
Reader: wot
Francis: you are the most beautiful of them all *cries actual tears and closes mouth with hand*
Francis: You are my daughter now. *puts other hand on (y/n)'s shoulder*
Reader: lol, why do people want to be my father
----
Kiku: ok, biTCHES, GIVE ME BACK MY DAUGHTER
Arthur: you know that most of them are idiots, r- *sees Francis hugging Keeks's Daughter*
Arthur: -apist! raPIST, ONE OF THEM IS A FUCKING RAPIST.
----
Yao: Oh my god, you're so skinny! Have some of my Wantan Dumplings and soup!
Reader: uh-
Yao: and this fortune cookie and porridge, another wantan bowl with yellow noodles and chicken! And this green tea!
Reader: (dad help me)
Kiku: That's enough, she'll eat some of them.
Yao: nonsense! She needs to grow up healthily, instead of being an underweighted stick like you!
Kiku: >>>:000 biTch, excUUUUUUUUse me, what the fuck did you just say to me, You fucking female furry dragon shit?
Yao: *Triggered*
----
Kiku: You might not be my biological daughter (but I still love you), your parents abandoned you there (and I fucking hate them) and me, I was your new guardian after those ungreatful humans left you.
Reader:
Reader: That's-
Reader: A very boring backstory
Kiku: wot
Reader: I'll just say you gave birth to me, that's a better backstory.
Kiku: what
Kiku: fine, good enough, as long as ur mine, my small cub ♡♡
*follows the tune of Shape Of You* I'm obssessed with my own AU.