It was Saturday night and I had the entire apartment all to myself. Zendaya and the girls had gone out for the night, another frat party they mentioned they were attending. Zen had been persistent about me going as well but I stood my ground, telling her I didn't want to go and for her to stop pressuring me. She immediately backed off and apologized, giving me a brief hug before she'd left with the girls. I felt almost bad for snapping at her but I had been going out with her each time she asked me to but sometimes I just wanted my alone time. Especially after last night.
Admittedly, I was feeling miserable. Once I left Harry's apartment last night I came to the realization that I was beginning to like him. And not just the way a person might like a friend but the way a girl might like her boyfriend. Or potential one, at that. Which was bad. Harry and I were merely supposed to be friends with benefits, no strings attached and yet here I was feeling hurt just because he was rude and asked me to leave his apartment. I don't even know why I'm surprised, he'd done it when we first met and I was stupid to even think for a second he might have changed.
Sure, he'd been nice to me over the past week but maybe it had been all an act. He was buttering me up for sex and the more I thought about it, the more angry I got at myself. I couldn't let him being nice to me affect me so much and though part of me thought I should probably just put a stop to this hooking up, I couldn't do it. Maybe it was self-abuse or maybe I was just that pathetic, but the sex was too good. And now that I'd had a little taste of Harry I couldn't easily let him go. At least not physically. Not yet.
Which was why, when I woke up this morning I made a promise to myself to withdraw from him emotionally. My walls were going back up and I was going to spend the rest of the weekend away from him so I can regroup. I'd be prepared by the time I saw him Tuesday, but as of now I was still feeling down. Sad, mostly.
I had planned to spend my Saturday painting in my room, but I was uninspired. My mood was affecting my ability to be creative and I found myself staring blankly at my canvas. The only artistic thing coming to mind being a specific curly headed, green eyed boy. Who, I was trying very hard to forget about so I tossed my paint brush aside and opted for binge watching a new series on Netflix.
So here I was, sprawled on the living room couch in my cotton shorts and a ratty old white tank top. No bra, no makeup, and my glasses very much intact. My hair was a knotted mess atop my head and a bowl of popcorn was settled in my lap as I stared at the TV screen. Completely enthralled with the show I had just began watching. I was only on episode eight of the first season and I was already consumed with the fictional relationship of Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey. The sexual tension between them had my eyes glued to the screen while I stuffed my face with popcorn.
I was so distracted by the show, that for a second I assumed the insistent knocking was coming from the TV. When I heard it again, I stopped chewing and sat up straighter as my eyebrows furrowed at the screen. Deciding it were impossible for it to be coming from the show when Meredith was currently talking to Bailey at the hospital, I reached for the remote and paused it. The knocking reached my ears again and I stood up, putting the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. Kind of annoyed with whoever was interrupting my show, I walked towards the door with a scowl on my face. Wanting them to leave as soon as possible so I can get back to my show, I didn't even bother looking through the peephole before throwing the door open.
Which, I now regret not doing.
Because standing there, in a black sweatshirt with a large 'C', 'K', and the words Calvin Klein sprawled across it, stood the one person I was trying desperately to detach myself from. My eyes widened in surprise, breath getting caught at the back of my throat when his hand paused mid air the moment I opened the door. He froze at seeing me, green eyes flying up to meet mine before he suddenly let his arm drop to his side. Harry blinked at me, throat bobbing before he gave me a hesitant smile. "Hey."
His voice, low and cautious snapped me out of my shocked form. My hand tightened around the doorknob and I brought my body closer to the frame, pulling the door against my side to block him from trying to come inside. Because he sure as hell was not welcomed. "What are you doing here?"
He cleared his throat, lifting his hand and running it through his curly hair. "Thought we could hang out. I was bored at home and I figured maybe you'd be too." He paused and when I stayed silent, he lifted his other hand to show me a white plastic bag. "I brought food."
I ignored the blantant offer and narrowed my eyes at him. "If you think I'm going to have sex with you-,"
"I'm not here for that." He quickly interrupted, tone firm yet resigned at the same time. "I wanted to talk."
"I told you I wanted a break from you." I muttered, swallowing the ball in my throat when he actually looked a little disappointed. "I need space. Let me breathe for a moment."
"I was going to come by last night," he confessed. "But I decided I'd give you at least twenty-four hours. I think I've given you enough space."
Maybe it was the fact that he had actually considered coming over last night when I had been wallowing in my room, thinking he didn't care enough to chase after me, but I hesitated. And it was long enough for him to notice, encouraging him to step forward until the tips of his shoes were right outside the door way. "I got sushi. Spicy Tuna rolls, specifically. I remembered you mentioned the other day when we were doing our project that it was your favorite." He was listening? I didn't think he was, considering he hadn't even looked at me when he said it. I for sure thought he hadn't heard me, but hearing him confirm that he in fact did, and also stored the little piece of information had wavered my decision to shut him out.
I stared at him, contemplating my odds if I let him in. I was supposed to be using this weekend to distance myself from him but he was making it exceptionally hard when he randomly shows up to my doorstep. With my favorite kind of food in his hands and looking rather cute while offering it.
As if knowing I was close to giving in, he smiled almost guiltily and held the bag out to me. "Even if you don't let me in, I want you to take it. You've been craving it all week."
He was right, I had been. And I mentioned this in class Thursday but he was texting away on his phone so I thought he hadn't heard me say that.
Damn him.
Sighing, I took the bag from him and reluctantly stepped back, opening the door wider as I did. He stared at me, eyes widening in surprise and I jerked my head towards the living room. "Only because you brought me sushi."
His lips twitched but he held back a smile, stuffing his hands into his front pockets as he stepped inside. A whiff of his musky scent wafted up to nose and I tried not to react to it. He always smelled good and as his familiar scent filled my nostrils, I found my chest tightening. I'd only been away from him for a day and I hated to admit that I missed it- I missed him.
I closed the door behind him, breathing out through my nose as I pivoted on my heel to face him. His gaze was on my face but then fell briefly below my chin, only to quickly look away. The action reminded me that I was currently not wearing a bra and I crossed my arms to shield my chest that was probably very noticeable through my thin tank top. Ignoring the way he was looking at me as I did so, I walked past him and lead the way into the living room. Pausing to pick up Zenday'a blue off the shoulder sweater that hung at the back of the couch before eagerly pulling it over my head.
"Why aren't you at the party with everyone else?" I asked as I sat back down on the couch, knowing Liam and Zayn were also going. Zendaya mentioned they were all meeting up at Harry's apartment before she left.
He sat at the other end, thankfully leaving enough space between us as he laid his arm out over the back of the couch. "I wasn't really feeling up to it."
"I'm shocked, I for sure thought you'd jump at the opportunity if it meant getting laid." I arched my eyebrow.
"You make me sound like such a whore." He mumbled and I shrugged, feeling unapologetic as I dug into the bag holding my sushi.
"First time we met you were checking out every girl that walked by you. You stared at every single one like they were just another piece of ass," I let my eyes flicker up to meet his gaze. "Forgive me if I've gotten the wrong impression."
He said nothing in return, only sucking his lips into his mouth as he stared back at me. He looked away a second later, a shameful look crossing his features that I was positive I was not supposed to see. He stays silent as I open the little to-go box and start munching on the rolls, using the chopsticks that came with it. I don't bother speaking as I eat, deciding it wasn't me who should start the conversation in the first place. He was the one who showed up here unannounced and if he chose to leave with out saying a thing, I wouldn't stop him.
I stared blankly at the screen, contemplating on whether or not I should press play or wait for him to find his balls. The silence was becoming too much and honestly, it was just awkward with the only sound in the room being my chewing. Casting a glance in his direction, I found him staring at me and arched my eyebrow. He looked away again and I breathed out through my nose in exasperation, waiting till I swallowed the roll down before speaking.
"Harry, why are you here?" I asked and moved to put the to-go box on the table when his gaze met mine again.
"I wanted to talk."
"So then don't just sit there. Talk." I said firmly and he pressed his lips together, glancing down at his hands that were clasped together between his parted legs.
"I know I was rude to you yesterday," he began and I sat back against the cushions. "I was a dick to you."
"You can say that again."
He shot me a look that basically warned me to keep my mouth shut and I made a show of locking my lips. "I wanted to explain why," he continued and watched me as if he expected me to interrupt again. I didn't and he turned to stare at the screen blankly. "I saw my dad yesterday, before you came over. You might have gotten the vibe already but him and I don't exactly get along.
"My dad is a filthy rich, arrogant asshole. All he cares about is money, status, the women he cheats on my mum with, and his business. Not exactly in that order but those are his priorities, which if you ask anyone I guess is pretty fucked up."
I don't say anything, only swallow harshly when I realize that he's opening up to me without me having to ask him to. I don't know how to feel about it and whether I should ask him to keep it to himself or let him continue. But staring at him, at the far away look on his face and how his shoulders have seemed to slump, I get the feeling he's telling me this because not only does he want me to understand but he needs a friend. Someone to vent to. I don't have the heart to shut him out either, not when he had let me vent to him the night I ran into Zack at the last party.
So I go with the ladder; keeping my mouth shut and letting him continue his story. "My dad is the CEO of Styles Corporate."
My eyebrows shoot up. "You mean...the highly, well known hotel as well as the jewelry and fashion industry?" I pause. "Your dad owns that huge ass building in New York City?"
"I can't even keep up with how many different companies he has, but yep." He confirms, sounding rather bitter instead of proud. "He owns it, and is the big bad boss. At least that is until I'm old enough to take over."
My eyes widen. "You're taking over the business?"
"I'm supposed to," he mutters and steals a glance at me before looking away again. "We got into another argument yesterday when I went to see him. It's always the same thing too, how me going to school for photography is pointless and a waste of my time and his money. How I should be stepping up and learning the ropes of the company considering I'm next in line to be CEO." He sighs. "But..."
"You don't want it," I say in realization and his eyes fall back on me. "You don't want the business."
"No, I don't." He confirms and looks down at his lap. "I want to be a photographer. The only reason he's paying for my schooling is because I was so desperate at the age of eighteen that I agreed to take over the business if he'd let me go to college. He thinks it's a waste, always telling me there was no point when I didn't need to major in anything because either way I was going to get the business. But he doesn't understand; I wanted to go to school for me. Especially after-," he halts, eyes darting back to me as he swallows thickly and looks away. "He just doesn't get it. I want to earn things myself and owning the business is not my dream. He doesn't listen."
"Well, who cares?" I respond and his eyebrows furrow but he doesn't face me. "You're an adult. You don't have to do what he says, Harry."
"He's paying for my school." He tells me again and his eyes flicker to hold my eye. "He'll stop if I tell him I'm not doing it and these three years of school will all be for nothing. I won't receive my degree."
"Don't tell him then. Keep it a secret, at least until you finish school then it'll be too late for him to do anything. Once you have your degree he can't stop you from doing what you want."
"He can," he mumbles and shakes his head. "It's not just that. He-, he just makes me feel so shitty whenever I try to tell him no."
"How?" At that, he doesn't respond and I get the feeling that he isn't going to tell me anymore when his lips press together in a hard line. I sigh, glancing back at the TV in thought when the air is silent again. I wait a few moments, wondering if he'll start talking again if I'm patient but when minutes pass and nothing is still said, I break the silence. "Why did you tell me this?"
"I wanted you to understand why I was rude to you yesterday," he responds and looks back at me, eyes intense on my face. "I know it's no excuse but I just wanted you to know that I wasn't being that way because of you. I was mad at my dad and took it out on you and I'm-, I'm sorry about that."
"You say sorry an awfully lot, you know that?"
His lip twitches into a smirk. "Yeah. And this probably won't be the last time, either."
I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry about that.
"Hilarious," I say sarcastically and roll my eyes to play off how my heart was sinking in my chest. "Thanks for apologizing."
"It only bruised my ego but you're welcome." I smile a little and he grins at seeing me do so. "I also will try not to be such a dick when my father is the reason behind it."
"Or you can just agree to stop being an asshole entirely?" I ask hopefully and he chuckles.
"Let's be real, Avri. I can't change who I am, at least not entirely."
He's smiling when he says it but I know he's a hundred percent serious and my stomach drops. Because he had voiced the thoughts I'd been thinking yesterday and the fact he knows the truth just as much as I do, really fucking sucks.
I stay silent, smiling a little to hide how I'm really feeling when he tears his gaze away from me to stare at the screen. "This show any good?"
Blinking, I turn back to the TV to see it's still paused on where I left off. "I just started the series but yeah, it's good so far."
He hums and leans further into the couch, seeming to get comfortable. "Cool. Explain what's happened so far?"
"What for?"
"So I'm not confused when you press play," he answers and steals another glance at me with raised eyebrows. "Unless you want me asking questions through out the whole thing."
He's going to stay. I try to ignore how my heart lifts in happiness and desperately work to suppress a smile but it's hard. Especially when a grin of his own grows on his face the longer he watches me. "Constantly asking questions during shows or movies is one of my biggest pet peeves."
He grins wider. "What are your others?"
"Did you want a play by play of what's gone down so far or the list of my dislikes? You can't have both."
"Fine, after the show then." He agreed and waved his hand. "Explain, baby girl."
So I did. Doing my best to ignore how he looked at me as I spoke, like he was taking in every single thing I said and gauging the expressions on my face. It was weird, especially when he'd smile out of nowhere and shake his head whenever I'd pause mid explanation and irritably ask "what?" And receive a cute smile and quiet "nothing," in return. I hated it, because the more time I sat there with him the more I'd think, just maybe he might feel the same way. I wasn't entirely sure but what I was one hundred percent positive of, was the realization that I was only kidding myself. I was already too far attached to get myself out now.
* * * * * * * * *
Helloooo :)
Some of you guys were begging for another update so I had to post.
Questions:
Can anyone guess about Harry's past now that you've gotten a little more insight on his background?
Who likes the new cover? I had to use the new picture of him when I saw it. Thought it would go well with the story considering what I've got planned :)
Vote + comment! I'll be updating again soon :)